Honkai Impact: My VR Harem is Real

"That is quite enough, you two. You have been glued to each other from the exact second you sat down. Have you forgotten you were only apart for half a month, not half a century?"

Himeko leaned against the kitchen counter, swirling a steaming mug of coffee. She shot a dry, exasperated look toward the living room sofa, watching their overly affectionate behavior with a raised brow.

Seated cross-legged on the floor nearby, Bronya did not even bother to lift her gaze from her portable console. Her thumbs moved in a blur across the buttons. "There is an old saying in Shenzhou: 'A short separation is better than a new marriage.' Bronya feels that proverb is highly appropriate for describing the current, highly inefficient display of public affection."

Wendy rested her chin in her palms, kicking her legs lightly from her spot on the armchair. "Ah, I am so envious of Mei," she sighed, her eyes tracking the couple with unabashed curiosity.

Himeko waved a dismissive hand, a wicked glint flashing in her amber eyes. "Wendy, you are still far too young. You simply cannot handle a man like that." She paused, her tongue darting out to trace her lower lip in a deliberately seductive gesture. "That is precisely why you need a mature older sister to take the reins."

Hearing the blatant provocation, Mei's face flushed a brilliant shade of crimson. She abruptly stood up, grabbing Rovel by the wrist. "Teacher Himeko, we will not be coming back tonight!" Without waiting for a response, she dragged a bewildered Rovel out the front door, the heavy wood clicking shut behind them.

"Sigh. Finally, they are gone. It is genuinely annoying just watching them radiate all that sweetness," Himeko muttered, letting out a long, dramatic breath. She took a slow sip from her mug. Ever since she had sworn off alcohol, black coffee had become her reluctant substitute, though it lacked the familiar burn of good liquor.

Himeko turned her attention back to the dining area. "By the way, Kiana, is your appetite off today? I only saw you inhale three bowls of rice at dinner."

"It is all because of that jerk Rovel..." Kiana clutched her stomach, her face turning a distinct shade of green. "Ugh..."

Recalling the absolute torment of the afternoon, she felt the room tilt on its axis. A dry heave racked her chest. "We spent over an hour locked in the training grounds this afternoon, and it completely ruined my appetite. My mouth is still full of the taste, and my stomach feels like a washing machine."

The bustling noise of the dormitory vanished. Absolute, pin-drop silence descended upon the room. Himeko froze, her coffee mug hovering inches from her lips. Wendy's eyes widened to the size of saucers. Even Bronya's thumbs stopped mashing the console buttons.

"What is wrong with all of you? Why are you staring at me like I grew a second head?" Kiana blinked, looking around the room in genuine confusion.

Himeko slowly set her mug down, walking over to place a heavy, solemn hand on Kiana's shoulder. "I never would have guessed, Kiana. You truly are a woman full of surprises. I never expected you to be the one among us who is the most advanced!"

"Auntie Himeko, what in the world are you talking about?" Kiana's head tilted, a physical manifestation of a giant question mark.

Wendy practically teleported to the other side of the sofa, grabbing Kiana's arm. "Kiana, I have never begged anyone for anything in my entire life, but you have to tell me. How did you do it? How does it feel?"

Kiana, assuming Wendy was asking about her grueling Heart of the Sword training, rubbed her chin thoughtfully. "Well... there is this strange, intense floating feeling. At first, I was so dizzy I could barely stand, and I was way too tired to even catch my breath. But after mastering the technique, I gradually got used to the rhythm."

"It is just that Rovel shows absolutely zero mercy," Kiana continued, shifting uncomfortably on the cushions. "He made my entire body ache." Because her spatial perception had been sealed during the training, she could not pinpoint the exact source of her bruises, but the phantom throbbing was still vividly etched into her nervous system.

Wendy blinked, a faint blush dusting her cheeks. "So... Rovel is the rough type?" She murmured softly, her imagination running wild. It seemed she could accept that particular revelation.

Bronya stood up abruptly, her twin drills bouncing. "Bronya does not wish to participate in this highly inappropriate topic. Bronya will return to her room now."

"That makes sense. For Bronya, this must be a very difficult thing to handle, right?" Kiana nodded sympathetically. After all, Bronya's physical mobility was limited, making the intense evasion training of the Heart of the Sword completely unsuitable for her.

However, those innocent words landed in Bronya's ears as a blatant, mocking provocation regarding her physical maturity.

Bronya stopped in her tracks. She slowly turned around, her expression darkening, and sat back down on the edge of her seat. "Bronya does not believe this is anything to be proud of."

She crossed her arms, quietly glaring at Kiana. She did not harbor any romantic feelings for Rovel, but her pride absolutely refused to let her be outdone by an idiot like Kiana. A bizarre, entirely misplaced competitive spirit flared to life within the small Russian girl.

"Kiana has truly grown up," Himeko murmured, a deeply knowing, scandalous smile gracing her lips.

"Huh?" Kiana scratched her head, her single-core processor of a brain spinning into overdrive. Who could explain what was happening right now? Why were they acting so weird?

Then, a spark of realization hit her. There was only one logical explanation.

"Did you guys... discover the secret about me and Rovel?" Kiana asked, her voice dropping to a cautious whisper.

Himeko's lips curled into a smirk. "Kiana, you are still so hopelessly dense. You have been parading it around so bluntly; it would be a miracle if we did not notice."

"That is right, that is right!" Wendy leaned in, her eyes sparkling with anticipation. "So hurry up and teach me your secrets!"

"Secrets? Well... alright then. Tomorrow afternoon..." Kiana agreed, figuring she could show them the evasion footwork.

"It is a deal!" Himeko and Wendy chimed in unison, nodding with fierce, impatient enthusiasm.

Bronya pressed a hand to her forehead, letting out a long, exhausted sigh. "A bunch of absolute idiots. Bronya staying in this room was definitely a tactical error."

The following day at noon, the front door clicked open. Mei shuffled into the dormitory, her posture slumped and her eyes half-closed. Without uttering a single word to anyone, she dragged her feet straight to her bedroom and collapsed, dead to the world.

A few moments later, Rovel stepped into the living room. "Kiana, let us go. I promised you a reward yesterday."

"Okay! I am ready!" Kiana cheered, practically bouncing on her heels with joy.

"Hold on a moment, Classmate Rovel. You cannot play favorites," Himeko interrupted, clearing her throat to announce her presence. She was already dressed in her casual outerwear.

"She is right. Even though you and Kiana have known each other for a long time, it is entirely unreasonable for you to only give these special benefits to her," Wendy added, crossing her arms and pouting.

Rovel blinked, looking between the two expectant women. "Do you guys want to come along?"

"We were just waiting for you to offer!" Himeko and Wendy stood up simultaneously, clearly having been packed and ready for the past hour.

"Alright then, the more the merrier. What about you, Bronya? Do you want to join us?" Rovel turned his attention to the small figure curled up on the sofa.

"...Bronya refuses."

Bronya stared at Rovel with dead, lifeless eyes. Her gaze was a chilling cocktail of three parts mockery, three parts absolute zero coldness, and four parts utter disgust.

Rovel's mouth twitched at the sheer hostility radiating from her. "If you want to refuse, just refuse. Why are you looking at me like I am a piece of trash stuck to your shoe?"

Shortly after, under Rovel's lead, the group of four marched out of the dormitory, heading purposefully toward their destination. The journey through the bustling academy grounds was brief, but the anticipation radiating from Himeko and Wendy was thick enough to cut with a knife.

They finally stopped in front of a brightly lit storefront.

"K... KFC?" Wendy and Himeko stammered, their eyes instantly glossing over with deep vacancy.

"Yeah," Rovel replied smoothly, pushing the glass door open. "Yesterday I saw Kiana training incredibly hard, so I promised I would treat her to some fried chicken as a reward. What is up with those weird expressions on your faces?"

He frowned, completely failing to understand the sudden drop in morale.

"Training? You were just training with Kiana yesterday afternoon?!" Himeko shrieked, her beautiful amber eyes widening to the point of tearing.

"Yes, I was teaching Kiana a new martial arts technique." Rovel nodded slowly, sensing a massive disconnect in the conversation.

Wendy whipped her head around to glare at the white-haired girl. "Then what did you mean when you said your mouth was full of the taste, Kiana?!"

"Because I threw up from the dizziness! So of course my mouth tasted like bile. Is... is there a problem with that?" Kiana shrank back, thoroughly intimidated by Wendy's sudden intensity.

"And what about the floating feeling? And your entire body aching?" Wendy pressed, her voice rising an octave.

Rovel sighed, finally piecing the puzzle together. "I used a specialized method to temporarily deprive Kiana of her sense of spatial awareness, forcing her to rely on instinct to dodge incoming projectiles. Of course it hurt when the arrows slammed into her."

Realization crashed down on Rovel like a ton of bricks. No wonder Bronya had looked at him like he was a degenerate criminal back at the dorm. These women could not possibly have thought...

"Hey, we were in the public training grounds!" Rovel threw his hands up in sheer disbelief. "Even if we were that incredibly desperate, it is physically impossible for anything like that to happen in a sterile combat facility, right?!"

Wendy and Himeko slowly turned to look at each other, the color draining from their faces.

The two of them, alongside the highly intelligent Bronya, had actually been played for absolute fools by a single-celled Paramecium.

[Inorin's Note: