32. The Reunion
“Fine, fine. I’ll talk to her!” Safraxi stepped out of the temple and into the courtyard in the back of the temple. She and Idami had argued for nearly ten minutes about whether she should speak with Amjazel, but she had eventually caved. Some small part of her missed the ancient dragoness. Jadali had told her she might just have to have a family from a distance. Maybe that was just what she had to try?
She still wasn’t ready to call anyone family, but she didn’t want Amjazel to worry without reason. A few words of assurance would be fine for now, just to show Amjazel she was alive and well. After that she and Tifse (and Idami now, she supposed) needed to get on the road. They weren’t sticking around in Saris Fal, they’d only come here in the first place to find Audirei, and she had turned out to be awful, so they’d need to move on to greener pastures. Figuring out where those pastures were would be the greatest challenge, currently.
Idami tagging along would make that harder, and slower, but Safraxi couldn’t bring herself to turn away the other dragon. Idami was the only other person that understood her. Despite their arguing she was glad to have her back. She just felt guilty that it meant Idami had to spend time away from Tiamat so early in her new life. Any training Safraxi could give her would be sub par, even if Idami had joined in on many of Safraxi’s lessons with Amjazel before she went off to the academy.
As she exited the courtyard Amjazel and Jadali were still chatting. Safraxi couldn’t hear what, they were keeping it private between them, but she could very clearly tell that Amjazel hadn’t been sleeping. The ancient dragoness looked haggard. Her amber eyes were bloodshot, and her spine frills seemed to sag more than normal. All around, she wasn’t holding herself with the same regal dignity that Safraxi was accustomed to.
The apparent conversation halted as soon as Safraxi came into view. Amjazel’s exhausted face lit up with a tender excitement and relief at the sight of her daughter, and she immediately stood and made her way to Safraxi at the doorway. “I’ll catch you again before I leave, Jadali. I am sorry to interrupt things like this.”
“It’s fine, just ask mom to come back by when you you get back to Fellrock, please.” Jadali winked to Safraxi and made her way around the pair and into the interior.
“If it’s about the eel, don't bother.” Safraxi held her head high. “I took care of it myself last night!”
Amjazel gasped at the news. “Is that what all of these injuries are from, dear? You look like you’ve run headfirst into a lumber mill!”
“I’m fine. Now that you’ve seen that I’m fine, I’m going back inside.” She quickly turned tail and tried to run in ahead of Jadali.
“Arxet, wait!” Amjazel seemed desperate to get a word in. “I promise I’m not here to bring you back to Fellrock. I’m just… I’m worried. I’ve been worried sick, I’ve-”
“You’ve not been yourself.” Safraxi craned her head back. “Yeah, you told me that in Cleninlod. And I’m not Arxet anymore, it’s Safraxi now.”
A torrent of conflicting emotions slammed Safraxi from Amjazel, shock, guilt, pride, and confusion wafting together into a pungent stew. “I’m- I am sorry you had to see me like that.” Amjazel hung her head. “I truly thought… that your armor had been stolen. I am happy you are finding yourself, though. Safraxi is a beautiful name.” She lowered herself down onto her haunches to lay her head down on her front paws. Somehow the two were still roughly eye level with one another like that. “And I’m very impressed that you’ve learned shapeshifting so quickly. I don’t think I’ve ever met another dragon to learn it as quickly as you, dear.”
Safraxi glared at the ground for a moment. Her heart was fluttering after hearing her new name called ‘beautiful’, but she didn’t know what to expect out of herself for this interaction. Why did she feel so relieved to speak with Amjazel when she had spent the last week avoiding her at all costs? She wanted so badly to just be wrapped up in those wings again, where she could feel safe and secure…
But she also knew that it just wasn’t right. She didn’t deserve that, and she couldn’t let herself go soft by giving in and living the easy life. She had spent all of these years learning how to fend for herself, fighting to survive, and to thrive. She couldn’t just give up all that work to be pampered and loved by people who barely knew her. That wasn’t what she deserved.
“Where um… where’s Emren?” She tried to talk about something other than herself or the situation, and the lynx was conspicuously absent.
“She’s looking into something.” Amjazel answered, vaguely. After a questioning look from her daughter she relented. “When we started trying to track you we found that someone else was also looking into you. She’s finding out who and why.”
“Probably someone I owe money to.” Safraxi snorted. “Not like they’ll find me now, I’m a dragon, and using a different name. I’m fine.”
“You should come home, dear.” Amjazel finally made the suggestion Safraxi was dreading. “I won’t force you to, I would never. But please, consider it. We don’t know who’s looking for you.”
“…I can’t. I need space.” She made the declaration after a long stretch of silence which Amjazel seemed afraid to break. “I don’t know how long I’ll be gone, or what I’m doing, but… you and the others just don’t understand me. It’s not going to work. So I’m going to find a way to live out there, somewhere. With Tifse.” She felt torn at the mention of her rider. The two were getting so close and now… she felt so betrayed, knowing that the fox had told her family where she was. “I just have one question before I go.”
“Of course, dear. If that’s what you need, I…” Tears were welling up and spilling out of the older dragon’s eyes. Safraxi could sense grief, disappointment, and a feeling of shame and failure. “I’ll respect your wishes. What was it you need to ask, dear?”
“… Is-” The blue dragon struggled to get the words out. Her own shame and regret were bubbling up now. “Is Rubis okay? When I left, I-”
“She’s doing well, dear.” Amjazel moved forward, preparing for a nuzzle, but thought better of it at the last moment. “Aquixi healed her. She… suffered some scarring, but she is alive and well. She’s also worried about you. I promise you, she isn’t upset with you, she’s more upset with herself and with...”
“And with Aquixi.” Safraxi deadpanned.
“Yes…” Amjazel, despite already being completely prone, seemed to sag down even further to the bricks below. “I had a talk with her. The way she spoke to you was unacceptable, and-”
“And it happened anyway.” Safraxi glared. “So what stops it from happening again? Not even just that, but the whispering from the other dragons. You might not have noticed, but I did. They all knew who I was, and that I didn’t have fire like I was supposed to. I can only guess how they’ve been acting since it turned out I have ice instead. Tiamat can remove all the priests she wants, but there’s still a problem in the so-called family. So what are you and Tiamat going to do about it?”
“I- I-” Amjazel was at a loss for an answer, the tears were starting again with new fervor.
“I won’t be able to come back until you have an answer for me. You know that, don’t you?” Safraxi’s head turned back to match the rest of her body, and she started out of the courtyard again.
“Wait!” Amjazel yelled, with her voice this time. She had changed into her tigress form again, and was digging through her saddle bag, now magically shrunken down to be a manageable shoulder bag for her. “I have something for you. You don’t have to use it, just… please consider holding onto it. Please. I’ll feel better knowing you have it.” She took out a bronze cylinder seal with a ceramic dragon on one of the handles.
Safraxi turned and shifted into her anthronoid form again to take it. “What is it?”
Amjazel beamed with pride watching her youngest change shape before her eyes and pressed the seal into the ratfolk’s hands. “It’s a powerful magical item, it was very difficult to procure. If you are ever in need of me, smash the top, and I’ll be there for you in an instant.”
Safraxi wrung her little rat hands around the little metal tube, unsure when they had even gone back from being paws. She wanted to shove it back into the other dragon’s hands, to refuse it outright, but some little voice in the back of her mind was screaming to keep it, at least just in case. She slid the tube down into a pocket and rested a hand over it. “If it comes to it, I’ll use it.”
“Thank you, dear. I just feel better knowing I can keep you safe…” The two stood there for a moment in silence until Amjazel simply opened her arms for a hug. No words were needed for such a simple offer.
Safraxi stared at it for a moment. Amjazel had to be joking, right? There was no way she would- before she knew what she was doing she had rushed the dragon and pulled her into the tightest hug she could manage, which didn’t seem that tight. For some reason Amjazel felt so much larger than normal, her armor was so loose it seemed in danger of falling off of her, and her helmet slid down to obscure her vision of herself entirely, all she could tell was her whiskers seemed more sensitive and more numerous than normal. But none of that mattered. She was hugging her mother, and felt safe again, for just a moment at least, before she had to go back to being herself.
Tifse watched the touching scene from inside the temple. The conversation was going longer than she had expected, and had come to check on the pair. All she could see was that Safraxi had shrunken down to almost half her prior size, and that a fluffy little tiger tail had replaced the rat tail from a moment before.
“Alright, so what are you doing now?” Idami questioned the bonded pair as they packed things back up into their saddlebags and prepared to leave. “Why did you come to the south in the first place? Visiting Tifse’s family?”
“Well more like… an old friend, but things didn’t pan out.” Tifse dodged the question as best she could, her conversation with Audirei yesterday still stung. She was also still a bit hung over, and honestly relieved she wouldn’t be traveling by wing today. She wasn’t sure her stomach could take it. “Could be nice to visit home again?” She glanced up at Safraxi. The dragon was refusing to speak with her unless absolutely necessary ever since it had turned out that she had told Tiamat where they were headed. She felt justified in her actions, so why was she also so guilty?
Safraxi stretched her wings and flexed her tail, trying to get the saddle to settle down somewhere a bit more comfortable. Her soreness from the fight the previous day had disappeared. Amjazel must have healed her during the hug earlier. Typical. She wasn’t even that bad off, but the older dragon insisted. “That works.How far is that?” Those were the first words she had spoken to her rider in over an hour, and seemed cold and indifferent. She’d refused to even look at Tifse over breakfast.
“Um… on foot? A week or two, maybe.” Tifse stared down at her hands as she tightened the last strap, her eyes were beginning to sting as her dragon finally spoke to her again. Somehow the apathy stung worse than the anger she had expected. “It’s about another two hundred miles south.”
“Fuck me… we need to get you flying as soon as we can.” Safraxi groaned and bumped her horns against her aunt’s. “It’s way too hot out here for that shit… can we get a boat? I have coin still.”
“Oh! So do I!” Idami poked a claw against a leather satchel slung around her neck. “We didn’t have time to get me a proper saddle and large bags for me, but Mom made sure I’d have money if I ended up going with you. About twenty gold, twenty silver, and a hundred copper.”
“She’s really alright with you being all the way out here, instead of… with her?” Safraxi was hit with another pang of guilt as she was reminded that Idami was missing time with her own family for this.
“You’re family too, Safraxi.” Idami corrected her niece. “We all agree your well being is more important than a few happy memories. I can make up on lost time later, I’ll live a long time and Mom isn’t going anywhere.”
“I can see about finding a ship, instead of walking.” Tifse could tell that Safraxi was about to launch into another circular argument about whether she was family or not, and would rather just avoid listening to that again entirely. The blue dragon didn’t need anything else upsetting her today. “We might have to settle for a barge or something, Idami might not fit in a cabin.”
“I’ll manage.” The orange dragoness ruffled her wings. “I’m surprisingly flexible in this body.”
“Still. It’s best to keep our options open.” Tifse went to grab for Safraxi’s saddle, but her hand was batted away by a wing.
“Not today.” The dragon glared down at her. “Not after you went behind my back.”
“I-” Tifse’s voice cracked as the words hit her. She couldn’t help it. The tears were coming now, whether she wanted or not. “-Okay.” She held the door open for the two dragons, trying to hide her face from them as they passed by. The thought of either of the dragons seeing her crying made her want to throw up again.
“Safraxi…” Idami whispered mentally to her fellow dragon. “You shouldn’t be mad, she was worried about you. I think she was right to be.”
“I am fine. She’s just overreacting.” She ignored the priests as they opened the front doors out to the city for her.
“You can’t stay mad at her forever. She’s your rider. You need each other.” Idami nodded her head at the priests in thanks as she crossed the threshold as well. “It’s not like she did it out of malice.”
“I don’t need her. I can shapeshift now. It takes a few years for the bond to break with distance, but now’s as good a time as any to start.” She snorted and picked up the pace to the docks.
“She and I- I thought we’d finally…” Tifse had heard the entire conversation. She felt as if her heart had been ripped out and crushed under someone’s heel. “She said we were all each-other had. I guess I have… no one…”