I Have a God Simulator

As the end of the year approached, talk at the office turned to the topic of school enrollment for children.

Over half the employees had families and children. Regardless of gender, the moment the topic of kids came up, they would launch into endless conversation, complaining to each other and swapping advice.

In the past, Luh Yao had absolutely no interest in this.

He didn’t even have a girlfriend; school enrollment was a world away from his life.

But recently, due to the conflict between the Twin Cities, the two cities were at each other’s throats. Luh Yao decided to eavesdrop a bit and learn from these parents’ experiences on how to resolve conflicts between children.

There was a mother of twins at his company named Sister Jiaoo.

Sister Jiaoo would get distracted and drowsy whenever she was working, but the moment she started gossiping, she would instantly perk up.

"It’s not early anymore. Kindergarten spring enrollment starts in December. You all should go check it out soon, you can’t delay this kind of thing."

"Let me tell you, having one is good. Two is just too much trouble."

"The older brother feels like the family is always taking care of the younger one, and the younger brother feels like the family values the older one more. They’re always getting jealous and fighting for attention, it’s a huge headache."

Sister Jiaoo rattled on.

Someone picked up on her thread: "So with your two kids, how do you manage to treat them both equally?"

"You’ve asked the right person."

Sister Jiaoo said smugly, "Let me pass on some of my experience."

"You absolutely cannot get involved or intervene in these things. You have to observe from the sidelines, act as the referee. That’s how you maintain authority. You have to treat them both the same, otherwise neither of them will be convinced."

"Don’t be fooled by their age. Kids these days are surprisingly crafty."

"When necessary, you can even create a problem yourself, scold them both, and give them something to do. Of course, you need a good reason. With kids, you need patience and strategy..."

Luh Yao silently took notes in his mental notebook.

’Be a good referee. Manufacture incidents.’

Nearby, Sister Peng shot him a puzzled look, seeming like she wanted to say something but held back. Luh Yao quickly put on his headphones, bobbed his head, and pretended to be listening to music.

「...」

The moment he got home from work, Luh Yao rushed to his computer to check on the latest developments in the simulator.

He first opened the Divine Hall and clicked on the Skeleton Man Philos’s portrait.

The view shifted to the eastern coast of the Western Continent.

The Skeleton King Armor had reverted to its ball form and was half-buried in the sand.

Philos, holding two bones, was climbing all over it, tapping and hammering away at the King Armor.

Luh Yao typed.

"How’s the progress?"

Philos trembled in fear, immediately sliding off the Skeleton Creature and kneeling toward the screen.

"Lord Yao God, this subordinate has used the King Armor and Skeleton Worms to search this entire continent, digging deep underground... I can confirm that the Tao God is not on this landmass."

"I did not detect the Fire of Faith of the Heterodox Evil God here. He must be on the Eastern Continent or some island."

The Skeleton Man said timidly, "Because we have been digging and moving underground nonstop recently, the Skeleton King Armor has suffered some wear and tear and malfunctions. Therefore, this subordinate is currently performing repairs and maintenance."

Luh Yao recalled one of Philos’s abilities.

[Skeleton Artisan]: Can repair Skeleton Creatures and strengthen them using bones as raw material.

’A driver who’s also an Engineer performing regular maintenance on his vehicle. Perfectly normal.’

Among the four Apostles, Philos had the lowest level, but his intelligence was second only to Isabel’s. His fear and reverence for Luh Yao were the most intense and obvious.

Luh Yao couldn’t say for sure.

’Is it because his intelligence is high enough? Or was it because I blasted him into the Sea of Mourning with a single shot of [Aegir’s Fire], giving him PTSD? Or maybe it’s because he was a surrendered general who witnessed me eliminate his former God?’

"However, this subordinate made an unexpected discovery deep underground in the forest."

Philos said cautiously, "An area deep underground is filled with tree roots, which are tangled around hard stones. It took the Skeleton King Armor quite a bit of effort to drill through those boulders and roots."

"Beneath that is another layer of tightly packed stone, and inside is a Forest House."

"The seal around the house has loosened... but this subordinate was afraid there might be a trap inside, so I did not enter," the Skeleton Man said.

These elements put Luh Yao on high alert.

’A forest, underground, a Forest House... This is exactly what the Silvanus Tree in the [Golden Field] needs.’

He smelled a conspiracy.

The shadow of the Forest God loomed in the background.

’I have to be on guard.’

Luh Yao made up his mind. After dealing with the threat of the Tao God, he would thoroughly investigate the underground Forest House.

He gave Philos his next orders: continue to stand guard underground, watch for anything suspicious, and report immediately.

"Yes, Lord Yao God!"

The Skeleton Man resumed his repairs on the Skeleton King Armor.

「...」

Luh Yao shifted his perspective, moving it to the sky above Yao City.

In this city steeped in an atmosphere of Theology, many people had donned robes and were holding copies of the "Divine Gospel." They departed in all directions, heading deep into the forests to find Wild People, taking ships across the sea to visit islanders...

Whenever they encountered outsiders or uncivilized natives, they would say enthusiastically, "Excuse me, Sir (or Ma’am), may I have a moment of your time?"

"I’d like to tell you about our Celestial Father and savior, Yao God."

Most of the Wild People and islanders were confused, with a string of garbled characters appearing above their heads.

The two sides couldn’t understand each other’s languages at all.

But these missionaries weren’t the least bit discouraged. They gestured wildly, pointing at the sky and making prayer-like motions. Most of the local natives kept their distance, with question marks appearing above their heads, unable to comprehend what these robed people were doing.

But the missionaries had clearly come prepared.

They brought out gifts.

The missionaries began to give out food and clothing, including wheat, potatoes, cured fish, and linen textiles... using these gifts to entice the remote natives into believing in their God.

Faced with this blatant temptation, the natives surrendered without hesitation.

The power of food allowed them to understand one another, breaking through the barriers of language and Race.

The natives, holding food and clothes in one hand and the "Divine Gospel" in the other, mimicked the missionaries, stammering loudly, "Praise our Celestial Father and savior, Yao God!"

"Praise Yao God!"

Then, the missionaries told the natives to bring their friends and family, promising that everyone would get food. All they had to do was believe in Yao God to receive these free gifts.

In no time, the natives swarmed over to claim the gifts from the foreigners.

Afterward, both the missionaries and the natives left satisfied, each believing they had gotten the better end of the deal.

The scene made Luh Yao’s eyelid twitch.

He wanted to furiously reprimand this group of missionaries.

’Isn’t this just a pyramid scheme based on fraud? It’s so undignified!’

But then he saw the Faith Value in the top-right corner continuously jumping up.

Luh Yao held his tongue.

’They’re just earning so much.’

Yao City’s vigorous campaign to spread Faith throughout the world instantly increased Luh Yao’s population and Faith Value by over 1,000 points each.

It was only then that Luh Yao realized there were so many other humans scattered in the nooks and crannies of the Pixel World.

’I also have to consider another point.’

Most of the natives didn’t truly believe in him as their God. Relying on the temptation of food meant the conversion rate would definitely not be very high.

Even so, it still brought an increase of over 1,000 in population and Faith.

’All I can say is, you guys did a great job!’

’Yao City-ism truly has its merits!’

So, while Yao City was spreading its Faith across the entire Pixel World, what was Yan City doing?

Luh Yao shifted his perspective to the other city.

As soon as the view landed on Yan City, new notifications appeared in the simulator.

[Yan City has invented the Sanatorium.]

[Yan City has built the first hospital.]

[The intelligence of all people in Yan City has slightly increased.]

[The mortality rate of all people in Yan City has slightly decreased.]

[The birth rate of all people in Yan City has slightly increased.]

’This isn’t bad either,’ Luh Yao thought.

With the birth rate up and the little people’s lifespans extended, it was a good thing for the city’s overall development and continuity.

Yan City, which excelled at trade, was strengthening its urban infrastructure, while Yao City, which was proficient in Theology, was engaged in cultural outreach.

Everyone had a bright future ahead.