[Vol. 2] Chapter 52.5: The Secrets of Aika
Takeru: Ladies and gentlemen, welcome one and all to the very first edition of Aika's Secrets. I am your host, Takeru Saito, and today I'll be interviewing a girl who is the star of the moment: beloved by good people, beloved by some not-so-good people, and beloved by the people of that strange place beyond this world where our Author lives. Please give a warm round of applause for Aika Shimizu.
Aika: Hello everyone, thank you for having me. I'm really happy to be here.
Takeru: The feeling is mutual. We had to take advantage of the fact that you have some free time today, since there won't be a new chapter coming out.
Aika: Hehe, that's true, although I'm not entirely sure I wanted to spend my day off coming to this show...
Takeru: I'm going to pretend I didn't hear that.
Takeru: Moving on, I have a little list of questions for you here; the author gave them to me so the readers can get to know you a little better. So, are you ready to begin?
Aika: W-Well, I'm a little nervous, but yes.
Takeru: Excellent! Let's get started. First of all, tell us your age, your birthday, and your zodiac sign.
Aika: Hmm, well, I'm 18 years old. In my past life as Ren my birthday was October 13th, but now, as Aika, it's April 10th, so my zodiac sign would be Aries, I think.
Takeru: Excellent answer! That's right, your sign is Aries, and I'm a Sagittarius. Did you know that fire signs make great partners? Maybe you and I could—
Aika: Thank you, but I don't believe in horoscopes. Next question.
Takeru: I couldn't leave without at least trying!
The audience applauds to cheer him up after being rejected.
Takeru: What are your hobbies?
Aika: I never had the time or the interest to get into any hobbies, although lately I'd say I really enjoy acting, and I could even say dancing — though it was very embarrassing at the beginning...
Takeru: I understand, it must not be easy being a stripper... Are you planning to take Reiko-sama's spot as the new goddess of Black Lotus? Is this a declaration of intent?! Oh my God! Is this the beginning of a throne war between two stars? The rookie versus the veteran? Jackson Storm versus Lightning McQueen?
Aika: Huh? No. And don't compare me to cars, why do I have to be the villain? I could be McQueen, and Reiko could be the blue car from the first movie!
Takeru: The villain role doesn't look that bad on you, you were pretty ruthless with Arima.
Aika: H-He deserved it! Either way, I'm happy living in Reiko's shadow at Black Lotus. I have no interest in taking her spot.
Takeru: We'll see about that! The audience doesn't agree!
Aika: ...
Takeru: Next question: who has donated the most money to you throughout your LonelyFans career?
Aika: Hmm, without a doubt I'd say ShadowKing, and by a wide margin.
Takeru: My, my. This ShadowKing seems to have quite a lot of interest in you.
Aika: Yes... I feel a little bad that he spends so much money. Maybe he's some wealthy gentleman who never had children.
Takeru: Would you like to meet him?
Aika: Honestly, I'd rather not, it would be very awkward.
Takeru: Well, I think you'd be surprised if you did, but there are things the author won't let me tell you, haha. Next question: how tall are you, and how much do you weigh?
Aika: I'm 5'3", and I'm not telling you how much I weigh. Don't you know you're not supposed to ask a girl that?
Takeru: Haha, fair enough. That brings me to something else I've noticed: you dress very femininely, despite having been a boy in your past life.
Aika: W-What's wrong with that? I'm a girl now, after all. It would be weird if I didn't dress like one...
Takeru: Could it be that you actually enjoy being a woman?
Aika: W-Well, I... I... W-w-what's wrong with enjoying it?! It's not like I can change it!
Takeru: Hmm, that's true. Your life would be very difficult if you didn't enjoy it, and it would be a waste for society, as beautiful as you are.
Aika: T-That's right! I'm just doing justice to the original Aika's body.
Takeru: If you had the power to choose, would you go back to being Ren, or would you stay as Aika?
Aika: I'd stay as Aika. I wouldn't wish being Ren on my worst enemy. Next question.
Takeru: Very well, this next one is a juicy question. Are you ready?
Aika: Yes.
Takeru: What are your measurements?
Aika: Huh? Why do I have to tell you that?
Takeru: The audience wants to know. The readers want to know. It's not fair to hide information about a body that ought to be considered a gift to all of humanity.
Aika: W-What on earth are you talking about?
Takeru: Come on, Aika, I already let it slide when you didn't want to tell me your weight. If you won't share your measurements, maybe the author will punish you in the next chapter... that would be tragic.
Aika: Nobody is going to punish me!... My measurements... my measurements are... 96-58-94.
Takeru: Oh my God!
The audience goes wild.
Takeru: I can die in peace now... I have to say, it's even more than I imagined.
Aika: I-Is that enough questions? Can I go now?
Takeru: Not yet. There's one last question for you — I have it right here, in this special envelope... It's a very important question that a number of fans have been sending in. Are you ready?
Aika: Yes, let's just get this over with.
Takeru: How many times do you pleasure yourself per—
Aika: STOP!
Takeru: Huh? What's wrong?
Aika: I'm not answering that!
Takeru: But the fans want to know—
Aika: The fans and you are both perverts! That's all the questions for today.
Takeru: Well, folks, it seems that's all for this time around. Thank you so much for tuning in to the very first edition of Aika's Secrets! If you have questions you'd like to ask her for the next edition, leave them in the comments and maybe one of them will come up next time... well, if our dear Aika is willing to come back, that is. It seems like that last question really got to her. Anyway, see you in the next episode! Until next time.