Cough Syrup Witch
"Huh?" Harada blinked, looking at us both. "You two already know each other?"
Kenji smiled with his hand over his chest, like someone had just asked him about the love of his life.
"Shimizu… let's just say we had a little romantic encounter earlier."
"Eeeeh?!" Mei looked up instantly.
"Nobody had any romantic encounter!" I shot back, pointing at him. "This is the weird guy I told you about this morning!"
Kenji brought a hand to his forehead dramatically.
"Weird…? How cruel of you, Shimizu-san. They say the more beautiful the flower, the sharper its thorns…"
Mei let out a small laugh.
"Now I understand what you meant about the otome game…"
"'Weird' is the mildest of all the things he is," Yuuna cut in, crossing her arms.
Kenji turned toward her with a challenging smile.
"Eeeeh? Look who's talking… Cough Syrup Girl."
The effect was immediate.
"A-Ahhhh!! If you keep talking I'm going to hit you!" Yuuna flushed all the way to her ears as she pointed at him with a trembling finger.
I blinked.
"…Cough syrup?"
Before the argument could escalate, Harada clapped his hands a couple of times.
"Alright! Nobody's hitting anyone! We're a drama club, not a boxing ring."
Yuuna shot him a withering look.
Harada gave a small jump.
"S-Sorry…"
He cleared his throat awkwardly.
"Shimizu-san, this is Kenji Takagi. He's a member of the drama club."
I frowned.
"A member…? This is the first time I've seen him…"
Is he someone new?
Kenji smiled naturally.
"I was sick for a while, but I've fully recovered. Today was my first day back."
"I'm really glad you're feeling better, Takagi-kun."
Mei gave him one of her usual sweet smiles.
Mistake.
A grave mistake.
Because Kenji's eyes immediately lit up.
"Thank you, Hirano-san. I have to admit that the prospect of seeing your charming smile again was an invaluable source of motivation during my recovery."
…
Seriously.
What kind of bargain-bin otome game did this guy escape from?
Harada decided to step in before Kenji could keep distributing prince-like lines.
"Kenji-kun was the one originally cast as Haruto."
I went completely still.
"Huh…? Then I…"
"That's right," Yuuna answered. "You were his replacement during the play."
Kenji's eyes opened slightly.
"Oh… I see."
Then he looked at me with a completely different smile.
No exaggerated poses.
No dramatics.
Just… sincere.
"So you were the one who covered for me. Thank you very much, Shimizu-san. You saved the play."
For a moment it threw me off completely.
I wasn't expecting him to be capable of talking that normally.
I felt heat rise to my cheeks.
"I-it was nothing… In the end… I actually ended up enjoying it."
Yuuna cleared her throat.
"And Aika did it very well. Even better than you would have."
She paused.
"So there's no need for you to come back to the club. You can transfer schools if you want."
Kenji's smile started to tremble.
"…Always so funny, Yuuna."
He laughed with a painfully obvious falseness.
"But you really do say the cruelest things."
Then he pointed at Yuuna.
"Why don't you leave? Cough Syrup Witch."
"I TOLD YOU TO STOP CALLING ME THAT!!"
The two of them squared off again.
I watched for a few seconds.
…What on earth is going on between these two?
I took advantage of their argument to quietly move closer to Mei.
"Hey…" I whispered. "What's all this about the cough syrup?"
Mei lowered her voice too.
"Takagi-kun and Yuuna have known each other since they were little."
"Really?"
She nodded.
"When Yuuna was a child she did a commercial for a cough syrup… and she's extremely embarrassed about it."
I blinked.
"Embarrassed?"
Mei held back a laugh.
"It's easier if you just see it."
She pulled out her phone while in the background Yuuna kept yelling at Kenji.
"Don't say it again!"
"What? Cough syrup?"
"AAAAAH!!"
Mei opened Koutube and typed a few words.
A few seconds later a video appeared.
She pressed play.
On screen appeared a little girl of about six or seven.
Two pigtails.
An exaggerated smile while holding a medicine bottle.
"Since I started taking Koffy Plus, going number two has never been easier!"
The little girl gave two thumbs up as cartoon drawings of happy intestines danced around her.
I stared for a few seconds.
Then my eyes went wide.
"WHAT?! I REMEMBER THIS COMMERCIAL!!"
I looked at the screen again.
Then at Yuuna.
Then at the screen again.
"THAT WAS HER?!"
Mei couldn't hold it in any longer and burst out laughing.
"Now that I see it… she still makes the same face."
"She even makes the same pout when she gets angry!" Mei added, amused.
We both started laughing quietly.
And then…
A shadow fell over the phone.
Mei and I looked up at the same time.
Yuuna was standing behind us, with a terrifying smile.
"…Mei."
Her voice was unsettlingly calm.
"What do you think you're doing?"
"Hii!!"
We both startled.
Mei hid the phone behind her back at a surprising speed.
"I-I'm sorry, in my opinion you look very cute in that commercial!" she said with a nervous laugh.
"I-It's true, and you probably saved a lot of children from constipation, you should be proud!"
Mei shot me a horrified look the moment I finished speaking.
"…"
I swallowed.
Yuuna didn't respond, but I could have sworn we had a malevolent spirit standing in front of us.
"…"
"…"
The next twenty minutes went by with Mei and me trying to appease Yuuna's wrath.
Then we did some practice. Kenji was curious about my acting and insisted I rehearse with him.
I tried to get out of it by telling him I only had a feel for Haruto's character, and it turned out he also knew Haruto's father's lines by heart. When he told me why, I felt what people call déjà vu and couldn't help laughing.
"What kind of son wouldn't know his father well?"
You and the Cough Syrup Girl are more alike than you think…
Fortunately for me, Arima had a full recording of the play on hand, and Kenji kept himself entertained watching it. That seemed to be enough for him to finish his evaluation of me.
When the bell rang, I said goodbye to the rest of the club and left school.
As I walked toward the station I couldn't help letting out a small laugh.
"Ha…"
The image of a five-year-old Yuuna advertising children's constipation syrup kept playing on a loop inside my head.
"Who would have thought…"
I suppose it made sense.
After all, when it came to Yuuna, it didn't surprise me that she'd been working since she was little.
Even so…
I couldn't believe there was such a… devastating piece of audiovisual evidence in existence.
"…Cough Syrup Witch…"
I laughed again.
Now I understood perfectly why she nearly murdered Kenji every time he called her that.
Thinking about him…
"Kenji Takagi, huh…"
I looked at the sky for a few seconds.
"This might sound cruel… but I'm really glad you got sick."
If he hadn't…
I never would have played Haruto.
Never would have joined the drama club.
And my life would probably still be… much more boring.
…Well.
Maybe "boring" wasn't the right word.
"Less chaotic" sounded more accurate.
I smiled to myself.
Then I stopped in front of a small pastry shop.
In the window there were decorated boxes with ribbons, handmade cookies, and small individual cakes.
I checked the time.
"I still have a little while before going to the club…"
I stood looking at the window.
…I think I'd like to thank them for going along with it.
I thought of the hotel.
Ryuji calling me his niece in front of everyone.
Reiko hugging me without warning.
Bibi insisting we looked alike.
I made a face.
"…The thought is what counts."
I walked into the shop.
…
…
…
I walked out several minutes later with a small paper bag carefully tied with a ribbon.
I checked the time.
And my smile froze.
"…"
"…"
"…Huh?"
I looked again.
"WHAT?!"
I'd gotten way too distracted choosing!
"No, no, no, no!"
I hurried down the street holding the bag carefully so the little cakes wouldn't get crushed.
"Bibi is going to kill me!"
I swerved around an office worker.
Then a couple.
Then almost crashed into a bicycle.
While walking as fast as I could, my phone started to vibrate.
Ring…
I pulled it out without stopping.
Unknown number.
"Hello?"
Silence.
"Hello?"
I thought I heard breathing, but nobody answered.
I stopped for a moment.
"Is anyone there?"
Nothing.
Just a very faint noise.
Like interference.
I frowned.
"…Hello?"
Nobody answered.
The call cut off.
I stared at the screen for a few seconds.
"…That was weird."
Maybe they had the wrong number.
I put the phone in my pocket without giving it much more thought.
Then I checked the time again.
I felt my soul leave my body.
"…Bibi is definitely going to kill me."
And I walked even faster toward Black Lotus