I got isekaied but not the way I wanted (wished to be a girl♀ but I’m a guy♂ again)

「Hikari」

I’m so not up for getting abandoned.

'Hiichi you can’t run around kissing other girls and expect them to be okay with it!'

Yeah I can Rin! I’m an excellent kisser, of girls and otherwise.

Besides I’m only human.

Can’t expect me to be rescued by the prettiest crossdressing tomboy in existence and remain calm.

Her looking down with those beautiful eyes and that caring expression, so full of warmth. Panting, cheeks flushed. The knowledge she had, without exaggeration, saved my life. That image immortalized into my mind, would’ve had any girl changing panties afterwards, or least those who can appreciate such excellence.

Ever since Katsumi started eating properly and taking care of herself, her looks have been improving. She’s definitively gotten prettier. She also looks more feminine, less handsome delicate prince and more regal princess. Being so underweight really seems to have messed with her body.

Rin isn’t very helpful, so the phone gets tossed into the corner of my room.

Hit a snag, had a good cry myself.

I didn’t expect my girl to have a breakdown over kissing another girl, not with the crew she keeps running with. One would expect that would make it all but impossible.

'I’m wrong.'

No, my sweet Katsu-chan, you’re not wrong for kissing another girl, even as an adult it’s perfectly fine.

Moronic conservative warrior clan bullshit strikes again! They ruined my sweet Katsu-chan! So not fair!

The snapshots she shared from her father paint a telling picture. She’s so terrified of him. No doubt he was the one who told her that only sons are allowed to become hunters. It’s so obvious that he’s the one responsible for this moronic charade that has her pretending to be a man and he never stopped her, even as it’s plain to see how miserable it makes her.

I bet he’s the same as my father, just waiting for her to crack under pressure so he can walk away as the winner, telling her this was inevitable, that women aren’t cut out to be demon-hunters. When the thing she is buckling under is faking her gender.

She’s a good hunter!

He just set her up to fail.

Her fear of disappointing him shines through all the things left unspoken, as if she failed before and is desperate to avoid a repeat.

She once said she’s 'failing as a son'. There was a terror behind her eyes as she did, forcing as smile as if it was meant to be a joke. Who has their daughter pretending to be son to uphold some sexist tradition? Those nobles truly are something else.

I need her to see she doesn’t have to adhere those restrictions.

But how?

Came on too strong with Yui and Takehiro, so not doing that again. I’ve changed. I’m better.

Katsumi wants space? I’ll give it to her, even if that’s stupid. So stupid!

Not forever, for her to cool off and shit.

Still want to apologize tho. She might have kissed me back in that sweet moment caught up as she was, same as me, but it hurt her nonetheless and that’s the last thing I wanted.

She didn’t come in for work, called in sick, which doesn’t bode well, but I’m out of the game for now.

I’ll apologize and see that she isn’t hurting too much.

And then…

Okay, I want my phone back.

Untangling myself from the blanket I’ve been hugging like a fucking life boat, I pick it up again.

This is such a drag.

I want to hold her and hug her. I want to bury my head into space between her neck and collarbone. She’s so incredibly soft, that's the nice thing about girls. Not that I’m picking favorites, that’s like choosing a fav meal. Never know how people do that.

I can totes make a list of like the different qualities and flavors but ranking them? That’s just silly. Ranking people is always silly.

Swiping through Rin’s replies only reveals she’s as unhelpful as ever when it comes to Katsumi. That girl holds a grudge like no-one. Still thinking my girl is going to steal her boy or whatever.

High school friendships don’t run that deep and it isn’t as if Katsumi has any kind of advantage over Rin there. She knows Tarō exactly as long Rin does.

I mean from all the stories Katsumi and Tarō’s relationship could be classified as having been rather intense. Thought it’s debatable if that gives my girl a leg up, one would assume the opposite.

Unless Rin’s Mr. Perfect is into that kind of stuff…

Katsumi in a pretty dress standing tall pushing Tarō’s chiseled face into the dirt with her bare feet…

Wrong move! Abort! Got way too siked by that image!

Maybe I should tell Rin she just has to bully her boy more and she’d have nothing to fear.

When it comes to Katsumi, she isn’t any help.

So how does one navigate this?

I’m so out of my depth, it’s bothersome.

One doesn’t kiss a girl like Katsumi and walk away.

I’m not giving up on her.

Hopefully she comes to work tomorrow.

■ ■ ■

「Katsumi」

No sulking, no wallowing, no feeling sorry for myself. That gets you nowhere!

Time to man up and face the music!

Until I can turn myself into a girl, I’m going to be my father’s son, be the better pretty boy. Like I’m supposed to come from this proud warrior clan now, it’s about time I act like it. I’m no longer the son who leeched off his well-off middle class parents while accomplishing nothing.

No. Kojou Katsumi stands on his own two feet.

New life, new me. I have a goal to reach. I need to become a girl!

Started off well enough but I let myself get like, distracted and stuff by make-believe nonsense and that’s supremely unhelpful.

Getting placated by embarrassing honorary girl shit—lost track of it all.

Yes, okay my girl-training was valuable, but I got as much out of it as is reasonable. I have a novice’s understanding of most girl things which should come in handy when the day finally comes, but any further training doesn’t net me anything anymore and it definitely has gotten me into trouble.

So no more.

Time to get back to being a man who is able to hold his head high without shame. Who doesn’t have to explain his behavior.

I’ve wrecked enough of my masculinity, of which yes I didn’t have a lot off to be begin with, but now after the sledgehammer treatment people are definitely taking notice, which isn’t good. Not good at all!

So—done with that!

Got hold of one of those tight sports bras, not that it is particularly comfortable, but I’m still a guy and guys are tough or whatever. And it totally works and what is a bit of discomfort in the light of saving face in front of your coworkers.

Not that it is ideal, might be sweating twice as much, but it can’t be helped.

Hid my Hunter’s Mark with its super feminine design under a sweatband—as usual—and tried the best I can to slick my hair back.

Hm, yes! A young man in the mirror… an androgynous young man.

Pretty boy really passed down some striking facial features. What guy looks this feminine and pretty? It isn’t one of life's greatest mystery how such an appearance could make a boy insecure, enough to lash out. Boys always do that. It’s so annoying. And pretty boy probably was jealous of Tarō with his super masculine looks while he was stuck being petite and cute. Gotta tear down others or whatever.

I saw the pictures back home at the estate, young pretty boy looked more like a girl than a boy.

Not that I’m bothered by it. I like it.

Should be a decent base. Girl-me might genuinely turn out looking super pretty all things considered. Not that I’m like shallow. At this point I’d settle for unassuming wall flower just to get out of being a man, but doesn’t every girl wish she’d be pretty? I, as a future girl, am no different.

But I’m not there yet so better stop thinking like that.

Getting silly ideas with my honorary girl status. It went too far. I have no desire to be a trans girl, I want to be a girl for real. What good does some participation trophy do me? Yes we’ll call you a woman but you won’t be one and we won’t see you as one. No, thanks!

Get lost!

I want to live and not have to second guess my every interaction.

I want to be a normal girl, not a weirdo who went against his assigned role, because he couldn't cut it.

And yes I know I failed as guy. Even with my best effort I can’t be one, but that doesn’t make me a girl, it simply makes me a failed man.

It’s a sinking ship, but for the time being I’m going to patch the holes and be the best man I can be until I safely reach the shores of girlhood.

And I can’t do that with the girl gang around. They’d surely rope me back in and drill new holes with their incessant need to treat me as a fellow girl.

I’ll never reach my shore that way.

So no more gang. It’s over. I’m going to lone wolf this demon-hunting business. It might be the only valid point all those online guides about how to be a demon hunter made. If you want to rise fast you can’t let yourself get distracted by others who might drag you down.

Left the group chats, blocked their numbers, felt rotten but better than the alternative. We can be friends again when I’m a girl.

In the meantime I’m going to copy Yukio and Shiro’s behavior minus the sexism—not my style—and then everything should work out.

~*☆ Be man; kill demons; rank-up; get【MSCD3000】; be girl. ☆*~

At work I run into Hikari and I try my best to be as cold and distant as possible. It rips my fucking heart out seeing her eyes so downcast and pleading, but that’s how it has to be. Seeing her keeps reminding me of that kiss and how wrong everything about me felt and I can’t have that right now.

Can’t let her get close again or that feeling of having my soul like, strip-mined would return and that’d be supremely bad.

She tries to talk to me and give her the cold shoulder.

It makes me feel violently ill.

I have to get through this.

Be like Yukio, be like Shiro, you’re still a guy. This doesn’t bother you.

It’s better for her. Better to rip the band-aid off now before it gets serious. The guy Hikari kissed isn’t going to stick around. He’s going to vanish and I’m going to be the responsible party.

I try my best to ignore her, to intentionally miss all her gazes, avoid her closeness and it’s pure torture.

By the time my shift is done it feels like if I’ve been wrung out like piece of kitchen cloth. Thoroughly drained, I immediately leave, forgetting to look ahead so to my embarrassment I run into someone. I apologize profusely not raising my head even after the person leaves, standing there forgotten.

Stupid.

Minutes pass with me not moving just at the corner of the konbini in the gloom of the low evening sun, neon light spilling past my shadow.

I hear steps approaching and for a second I wish they were Hikari’s. The thought soon vanishes there is an unmistakable confidence to the stride whose target seems to be me.

My eyes trail upwards to the delicate face of a familiar, tall, captivating beauty. She really doesn’t wear anything besides suits, does she? It feels unreal, as if some kind of timeline mix-up happened. This woman belongs to this other world, where peerless beauties who haunt the night descend from rooftops ready to hand out kisses to unsuspecting stunned shrine maidens.

“What’s with you?”

Her voice comes in low causal cadence and my mind goes totally blank remembering her lips on mine, so different from Hikari’s.

I swallow. Can’t think about that right now.

“Nothing…”

She flashes an cold indifferent smirk. It’s such a contrast to our last meeting, she isn’t a huntress ready to devour me, but a woman of impervious grace.

These nice plump lips kissed me…

“Kojou, right?”

I blink.

I nod.

“You free? I need to talk to you. I’ll sponsor a chicken skewer.”

I nod again.

She sets out down the street and like an obedient little puppy, I follow. This doesn’t feel real. I hang on the sway of her strut, my mind drowning in fragmented memories of her finger in my hair, that scent and that kiss.

She glances over her shoulder, “You do look a lot like your twin sister.”

Head hanging low, unsure of myself I give a short, “Thanks.”

“So you don’t mind?”

"Hu? Why would I mind?”

Shoving her hands into the pockets of her blazer she chuckles. The girly mundane expression clashes with her mysterious aloofness. It rends every coherent thought me regardless.

She is here!

The otherworldly girl-loving beauty who kissed me as if I were a fellow girl just showed up out of nowhere and continues to thinks I’m my own sister!?

Uh… what should I do? How am I even supposed to navigate this as a guy?

「 Guys don’t get themselves into situations like these, so there is no guy-way to navigate this. 」

Awesome, getting backstabbed by my own mind.

The tall girl in front with her confident stride has my mind melting again, conjuring images of her embracing me, her hand trailing low grabbing my b〜〜〜

WUAH!!!

What kind of fantasy is that exactly!?

Bet Yukio doesn’t think like that! That’s what I get for my obsessions. Shouldn’t have read so much girl-love in my old life!

Without any further exchange of words she leads me to a small street I’m familiar with from my half-hearted neighborhood patrols, dotted with a smatter of small restaurants and stalls. It has this ramen place, where people frequently stand outside to get a booth, not that I think that’s our destination, but it had me curious the last time I walked by.

Countless eyes follow us—or more follow her.

They aren’t even hiding it.

Sticking close to a girl like her sure isn’t the most pleasant thing, but she seems to be totally indifferent to the whole affair. Would be nice if I could be like that too, instead all I want to do is hide or run away.

So uncomfortable.

She targets a small grill and gestures to me to take the seat beside her. It's really cramped and hot and I brush against her arm as I sit down.

I’m about to apologize but the strange beauty doesn’t even look at me and orders two skewers.

Everyone seated glances at us. Men in the thirties and forties. It’s as if all this attention she's drawing is invisible to her. She asks for a beer on top of our order.

Taking a sip she finally turns to me, impervious eyes looking down on me.

“There are two kinds of demon hunters. The first are those who hunt for prestige. Holdovers, old nobility like your brothers, or idol hunter, or streamers, those out for some kind of fame or renown. They make it known what they do. But they are rare, the vast majority of hunters fall into the second category, those who hunt for money. Cutthroat mercenaries, either desperate or cruel, sometimes both. They’re efficient, stuck to the official Hunter’s Guild contract, glued to the app. They only hunt what brings them the most amount of money in the shortest timeframe without getting themselves killed.”

Okay, strange topic to just start rambling away without introduction, but whatever.

I’ll bite.

Taking a page out of her book I try to ignore the not so subtle continued looks in our direction.

I engage, “I think you’re forgetting one: the guys who capture demons to sell them.”

Taking a sip straight from the bottle, her voice turns icy.

“Those are common criminals. The trade of demons is illegal and results in the immediate expulsion from the Guild. They’re by definition, no longer hunters.”

If it were so easy. Nice idealism but I think most of those guys still have their license and everything.

The cook gives her our skewers and she hands me one. For a second I get lost in those eyes of hers. Who casually wears colored contacts? Purple—that’s not even a natural color.

After taking a bite she says, “I-“ she stops for emphasis, “have run into a fascinating anomaly. A hunter whose very first registered kill was class-C Scatter Beetle, which was followed by weeks and weeks of her killing multiple class-Fs night after night, with little to no respite. The demons she targeted bring neither money, nor significant advancement points, nor is there any prestige in banishing them. A curious behavior, free of the established pattern, one that would’ve had her as a rookie in perpetuity, if it weren’t for the high-threat class-C thrown into the mix.”

I feel a cold shudder going through my body.

Chewing on my food I raise my eyebrows in confusion.

My odd companion carries on with her story, “This hunter, for her rank-up she didn’t engage one of the usual ink tigers, or shadow snakes, demon who are common and whose slaying still carries prestige, but a denial demon. A demon yielding a low monetary reward and who are notoriously hard to flush out. Yet, looking a bit closer, it became apparent that the demon our hunter targeted was harrowing a forest path for decades. Given such a timeframe, if she had gone public and played her leverage, she could have gotten concessions and extra rewards from the local council. They’re seldomly keen on losing face in front of their constituents. Instead our hunter vanished into the night.”

Okay, the eccentric beauty is some kind of stalker; got it.

I swallow my unease.

She isn’t done, “After that our hunter became ordinary. Were it not that besides her Hunter ID she appears to be a ghost, equally elusive and hard to grasp as her behavior. That's where you come in. Could you give this number to your sister?”

I get handed a business card, no name or anything just a white number on a black card.

Who is this woman? Is she some kind of recruiter? Am I honestly being head hunted!?

“Why do you know all this?” I ask, trying my best to suppress my anger from having my life of the past months examined like this. That's like my personal stuff, okay!? Didn't know I would get evaluated by some girl in a suit!

“I like to know the people who are bold enough to poach from me.”

“My sister would never poach. It must’ve been a misunderstanding.”

She doesn’t acknowledge my protest in the least and focuses on her meal.

Holding up the card I ask, “Whose number is this? What is this?”

“Mine. She’ll know what to do with it.”

She knows!? Does she really!? ARE YOU SURE!?

Because she’s basically sitting right next to you and has not the slightest clue what she’s supposed to do with it.

I think I’m missing some vital girl-code or context or something!!!!

The strange girl probes, “She’s single, right? Not that it matters.”

『 ??? 』

Wait what? That's…

That can't be…

That's not what's going on…

'SINGLE'???

'NOT THAT IT MATTERS'!?

What’s wrong with her!?

Who’s like this confident, direct and shameless!?

'Not that it matters'… she’s a crazy person.

“I’m not answering that. That’s like… like my sister’s private affairs. Also, I don’t even know your name or what you want from her.”

“Kodoku Miori.”

Kodoku Miori?

Sounds familiar, can’t place it tho. Was she in the original novel? She couldn’t have been one of Tarō’s girls… definitely not one of those… hmmm…

“You didn’t answer the other half of my question.”

“Private affair, between me and your sister.”

Yeah?

Said sister, who is present for all intents and purposes, doesn't really get what’s going on to be honest, because this is all super surreal. The only thing she's certain about is that she doesn’t like people prying into her stuff.

“Okay.”

Miss Kodoku stands up, tossing her half eaten skewer on my plate.

“Give my regards to your sister.”

With that she walks off.

Everyone glances at me.

Sorry guys I’m about as lost as you are, okay?

I bury my head into the my plate.

They're definitely still looking.

Can't they simply ignore me?

Ugh…

I ask the cook for a plastic bag and leave.

Yes I took the half eaten skewer too. It's not like she bit into all of the chicken pieces. The remaining ones are untouched and perfectly fine.

My escape is rather hasty.

Some strange hollow feeling eats away at me on my walk home.

I don't like it.

Don't like any of this.

I'm more drained then ever and could've done without whatever that was.

Flashes of a kiss on my mind.

The business card ends up on the table.

What should I even do with it?

Does she seriously expect me to call her?

And then what?

'Hey you kissed me out of the blue and dug into my hunting career—how's it hanging?'

The girl she's after doesn't even exist, not yet anyway and I don't think future girl-me will be particular fond of miss Kodoku after that stunt.

Enough with the distractions.

I need to get through this, get my strength back and start hunting demons again.

Be a man until I reach the shores of girlhood.

I can do it!