16. Maladapted Misfits
“Hotaru?”
The call rings out from the living room.
Coming from the kitchen which only gets served by that tiny window pressed up right against the wall of the adjacent building, grandma and grandpa become shadow puppets on the golden screen of the morning sun filtering through the glass wall. As my eyes adjust I get a frown as grandma presents her case, lifting the blanket.
“Look at this mess.”
I entertain it, approaching the raised hospital bed. I wipe my hands on my apron, “I told you it would bruise.”
Propped up on his bed its grandpa’s time to frown, directing his expression squarely at grandma. “She did.”
He pulls up his pants, swats her hand off the blanket and covers himself again. Not happy that he was the central piece of the exhibition.
It earns him an eye roll and me a second frown from grandma.
So many scrunched faces so early in the day, are we doing a competition on who can successfully deepen their wrinkles?
Grandma gives a half serious huff, “Oh you two!”
I leave them be. On the threshold I yell back, “Hope we learned our lesson!”
They don’t get to see my silent giggle.
Good, the vegetables are cut and the broth just needs some time.
I get interrupted by a shuffle that's all too familiar.
“Hotaru?”
The way she starts the conversation, I know she has come to bargain. Grandma casually looks over the cut vegetables before she begins, “Does he have to take the blue ones?”
I take a glance at the pot on the stove, “Yes, he does.”
“But they make him terribly distracted and tired. He can take the traditional medicine, then he isn’t so tired. Doctor Ohkusa said it-“
“If the brew would lower his blood pressure to where it needs to be then yes. But it doesn’t, so he has to take the pills otherwise it’s too dangerous. That was the deal grandma, remember? You two would listen to mom and me, you promised.”
“The pills are no good for him.”
“They are good for him, they keep him out of the hospital.” And amongst the living. “I’ll talk to Doctor Ohkusa again, see if there are maybe alternatives that don’t make him groggy, okay?”
I get a displeased thin lip. She wants to continue arguing, I can see it, it’s clearly written on her face. I suspect for the sheer fun of it, but as much of a wonderful sparing partner she might be, this topic is too serious and even she knows that.
Sitting down on the small stool intended for reaching the higher shelves, she grants me her company for the time being.
I occupy myself by doing the dishes, enjoying this simple moment. Transient and precious. The warm, thick air ripe with the smell of the broth and the certainty of having her close.
Growing bored as she so easily does, grandma opens, “How are they doing?”
“Who?”
“You know who, those girls you spend your time with.”
“I thought you didn’t like them, maladapted misfits were your words if I remember correctly.”
Her words have always been harsher than her feelings and I like to remind her.
“You told me they were in love with each other and that they sleep together.”
“And I remember you telling me how you kissed your best friend in high school, also a girl, correct?”
“It’s all fine and well when you’re a child, but as adults? They need to grow up. You have to tell them that Hotaru, tell them they need to grow up. I did.”
“I don’t think it’s that easy for everyone. Not everyone is like you grandma. Some simply don’t like men in general, some prefer women.”
“Oh it’s not about liking men, they need to find one they don’t hate that’s all.”
“Not everyone shares your point of view. They’d tell you that they’re happy as they’re now.”
“They will come to regret it. Better to find a husband now, than to fight over scraps later.”
“Regret being in love? And I don’t think they care much about securing a husband, they’re in the market for wives.”
I give her a wink.
“There you go again with that. How would such a household even work? No one will ever take them seriously. You have to tell them that Hotaru.”
I shake my head.
“I prefer them as they are, and no, I will not burden them with the same old words they've heard a thousand times over, grandma. I like my friends and they’re happy as they are.”
Out of the corner of my eye I see her stealing a few carrot strips.
“So, how are they?”
The long sigh that escapes me comes naturally. Letting it out is good. The past week still lies heavy.
“They worry me. Haruki and Mayumi did something very reckless and it hurt Chie. They put themselves in great danger and I can’t understand why they did it. They could’ve waited on us, instead it devolved into a rescue mission. We got lucky. If they hadn’t picked up Katsumi two weeks prior, I doubt it would’ve ended in our favor. So I worry.”
“Tell them. Make them see the ripples of their actions. You have to show them how it affects others. They are not lone warriors taking on the world.”
“The later might be a hard sell.”
“See, they need to grow up.”
I can practically feel her triumphant smile in my back. I turn to check. As expected, it's there and infectious. She is incredulous.
I keep my eye on her for a bit as she sheepishly tries to pretend she hasn’t been snacking. The moment I return to scrubbing the pot I hear the telltale sound of a carrot getting devoured.
“Katsumi—rare name for a girl”, grandma ponders. “Do you think you can-“
My grip tightens, “Will that be your question whenever I make a friend now?”
“If they devote themselves to hunting demons, yes. There is no need for you to be so huffy about it. It is important Hotaru. It is only avenue we have left. I …”
“I know,” I sigh.
“They are gone.”
“I know.”
“You know this, I told you.”
“Yes.” My words run fast, “During the restoration the Emperor and his administration enforced their control over the shrines and they ousted our ancestors and they burned our books and one master teaching the next is all we have left.”
“What’s with that temperament then?”
The dirty pot rests again and my hands go for my apron. With my eyes closed I find my center and face her, letting her know my words come from my heart.
“I love that you taught me, grandma. I think it’s a gift and I’m grateful every single day, but I know what it takes. And yet you ask, as if it were a school club I should encourage my friends to join. It takes every day sitting with them for at least an hour to practice a single motion, being extremely stringent, looking for the tiniest mistakes for months and years and then hoping they have the dedication to practice every chance they get. It’s not a simple ask.”
“If you’re so busy,” she states all haughty, “then bring them here. I will teach them.”
As if that were the problem.
“It takes dedication grandma, one that isn’t asked for lightly. My friends know that and they know that if they’d ask me I’d teach them magic, but I will never pressure them. I will take a pupil, don’t worry.”
“When? When you’re in college and have no time? Or when you’re a doctor and busy every day? Or when you have a family and other obligations?”
I huff. She continues to harbor these assumptions about how my life will play out. As if I'm going to be married and pregnant by twenty-three and a prominent doctor at the same time! Life nothing more than a rigid board, ready to burst under load. My path will stray far, I know that and yet I’d hoped she would embrace me. I have yet to understand how a woman like her turned out this way. One would think a witch would be a bit open-minded…
"When I find someone willing, grandma. Now shoo!" I wave my hands at her. "Out! Stop eating all my ingredients!"
Grandma grumbles but retreats. I smile at her back.
The broth still has a way to go. With time to kill, I open my phone. In the group chat—the one the girls established separate from the one with Katsumi—Mayumi is talking about how she got Katsumi to go out drinking and dancing with her last night. Offering a quick-taken drunken selfie as proof.
In it Katsumi is smiling, which makes me smile. It's good to see. Mayumi obviously did her makeup, I know her style, though Katsumi's clothes are a bit odd for a night out.
Haruki: You got her out in girl clothes??? Nice.
Chie: girl clothes???
Chie: I thought she was masc
Mayumi: NO idiot
Mayumi: she fights in a dress and a wig!
Mayumi: in full makeup!!!
Chie: •︵•
Chie: i thought it was a disguise…
Mayumi: A DISGUISE???????
[Mayumi is typing…]
Chie: you never know
Chie: maybe her family isnt cool with it
Chie: or she wants to have an alter ego
Mayumi: shes BOYMODING! that girl is the most cutsy-fem since hotaru
I shake my head, type a response.
Hotaru: its true
Hotaru: total fem vibes
Hotaru: finally!! I'm no longer the only one!
Mayumi: i rest my case
Mayumi: also I'm fem too bitch!
Hotaru: but youre a mean fem
Hotaru: im nice (╹◡╹✿)
Mayumi: I AM NOT
Mayumi: im just direct!!!
Chie: then what is she DOING
Haruki: Hon…
Chie: she has no problem dressing up
Haruki: My dear…
Chie: bouncing around in a skirt
Haruki: Darling…
Chie: looking quite cute btw. no issue there
Haruki: (—‸—)
Chie: but shes still working in masc clothes!!!
Haruki: CHIE!
Chie: WAT
Haruki: She hasn't accepted herself yet!
Chie: SHE WHAT???
[Chie is typing…]
I leap in to intervene.
Hotaru: she isnt confident enough yet
Hotaru: shes all fear inside
Mayumi: yeah she doesnt think she can claim it
Mayumi: convinced herself of it.
Mayumi: like somebody will hop out of the shadows if she so much as looks at a dress
Mayumi: and she loathes her body
Hotaru: that too
Chie: what do we do then?
Hotaru: build up her confidence
Hotaru: let her find herself
Mayumi: dont let her get away with playing boy
Mayumi: and kill more demons with her
Haruki: She needs more than hunting.
Mayumi: ironic coming from you babe
Mayumi: putting those things down sure makes me confident
Haruki: (—‸—)
Mayumi: y u keep using that?
Haruki: I wouldn't if you all didn't keep giving me a reason to!
Chie: harsh
Haruki: Hardly, darling. ☆(>ᴗ•)
Haruki: But listen.
Haruki: She is using hunting as a crutch.
Haruki: To avoid her feelings.
Haruki: Its keeping her going. But its not good long term. We can do A-Rank. But that's far off. What happens when she loses hope?
Chie: we'll be here for her
Mayumi: yuppp
Mayumi: besides
Mayumi: thats what the meds are for
Hotaru: i agree
Hotaru: i think theyll help her see herself in a different light
Hotaru: she hates herself rn
Hotaru: she needs a fresh perspective
Hotaru: itll take time
Chie: sooooooo
Chie: we keep her going long enough for her to develop confidence in herself
Chie: big gamble
Haruki: Speaking of self-confidence…
Haruki: My love, what did you put that girl in???
Mayumi: that was ALL she had
Mayumi: tradwife special
Chie: i think its cute
Mayumi: on my mother
Mayumi: sure
Mayumi: looked about ready to teach primary school
Hotaru: it IS cute!
Hotaru: you guys are so mean
Hotaru: it was one of the outfits we got together
Hotaru: didnt know she never bought anything else
Hotaru: butttt
Hotaru: i see we need another shopping tripppp
Chie: *groan*
Haruki: You need to go hun.
Mayumi: second that
Haruki: I swear I seen you wear those same pants the past 3 days…
Chie: I HAVE MULTIPLE PAIRS
Chie: THEY ARE VERY COMFORTABLE
Mayumi: likely story
Mayumi: but worse theyre BORING
Mayumi: i know youre a salaryman but PLEASE
Mayumi: try something interesting
Chie: stopppp :(
Mayumi: stop trying to sub your way out of this!!!
Haruki: Actually, stay of execution.
Haruki: That'll have to wait a bit. I'm broke.
Hotaru: even after the 3 c-classes?
Mayumi: we gave the roach to katsumi
Haruki: she needed it
I bite my lip to hide my smile. From who is anyone's guess.
Hotaru: obviousy
Hotaru: *obviously
Chie: we need to get another c class
Haruki: Definitely.
Hotaru: we have any leads?
Mayumi: NO (ﾒ` ﾛ ´)
Mayumi: ikushima didnt have anything
Mayumi: shes holding out on me
I frown at my phone. That demon might be one of Mayumi's contacts, but her closeness with the thing continues to make me uneasy. Ikushima is benevolent as far as demons go, her patronage has earned her the protection of sapphics everywhere, but her kind is driven by hunger. They can't be trusted.
I hear a hiss to my right. The broth, it's boiling over! In the nick of time I take off the lid. That’s what I get for being too distracted.
But a trip to the mall would be nice. We'd all deserve it. Let’s see if we can make it happen.