05. Ramen At The Konbini
That first hunt was something else. First; small guy fuses into big scary guy, other hunters show up, we kill it, then I get told it was a C-class demon, meaning there was a real chance I could’ve died right then and there!
Terrifying!
And then the two hunters mistake me for a girl—which, yeah, is on me, I know. So I have to tell them all that embarrassing stuff and they just keep treating me like—and calling me—a girl anyway, which was so freaking confusing.
I mean it’s probably decent training for later when I become girl, and it felt surprisingly nice, but what was that about?
Whatever. Weirdos.
The whole ordeal left me totally spent but also so wound up that couldn’t sleep at all. So, next day at the konbini with Shiro, I was a zombie, and instead of going out to hunt in the evening I simply collapsed on my futon.
But today I feel great, down right refreshed.
Also, no Shiro today, just Hikari. Oh, the joy!
(*¯︶¯*)
I only get both when Mr. Kataoka isn’t in. Not that he does much besides his morning pep talk if he is. Okay… maybe he also does the paperwork in the back room and gives us mean side eyes if he thinks we’re slacking off.
As if …
I fiddle with my cup ramen and while I wait for it to cool, scroll on my phone.
Before we parted ways, Mayumi dropped that if I wanted to be more inconspicuous, I should stop talking like a boy.
Now that I think about it, she does have I point. If I keep crossdressing I should make the effort to also sound like girl.
And I need the practice for later anyway.
As endearing as I find the idea of a cute girl with a masculine speaking pattern, it’s not really what I have in mind for future girl-me.
I keep scrolling. There are a surprising amount of tutorials on how raise your voice and speak like girl.
So that’s an actual thing people do?
Hu, who would have thought?
Let’s add that to the morning and evening routine, same as Mayumi’s pills. If they really do what she said they would, then I guess no harm, no foul.
Those two hunters are an odd pair. Mayumi, a goth girl with a rather monotone voice, and Haruki. Tall, boyish, and a little intimidating. The way Haruki wielded that giant sword sure was impressive. Made me look like a complete rookie.
I mean I am a complete rookie.
Hopefully—someday—I’ll get to look as fantastic as she does while fighting.
She looked so cool!
( ´ ꒳ ` ) ♡
Also, Haruki called Mayumi her girlfriend, and they glanced at each other constantly. What was that all about? That was so odd too…
『click.』
Oh.
They're a couple!
Girlfriends! In the literal sense!
Two girls.
Together.
v(・∀・*)
…
I mean I've read my share of girl-love stories, but this was the real deal. And they invited me to join their team and added me to their group chat!
What was even happening?
“Big revelations over cup ramen?”
“Eh?”
I look at Hikari as she joins me at the table.
She raises her eyebrow at me.
I swallow the last of my ramen before I say:
“I think I made some friends and they're… interesting.”
Hikari shines a smile.
“About time. Hold on, I have something for you.” She walks to her locker and gets a small package. “This is for you, or let’s say we can share it if you like.”
Hikari slides over the bento box and I look at it with hesitation.
She shouldn’t be doing that, girls should share their meals only with other girls, then it’s cute and wholesome and wonderful, but not with guys.
That would be like a total waste.
When I’m a girl, I’m going to share my food only with other girls!
I almost tell Hikari as much and that I refuse for that very reason—because I’m a guy, but that would be rude.
It would be okay if we were both girls, sharing, sitting close, maybe feeding each other, kissing. ₊˚⊹♡
『 system meltdown … rebooting … 』
Wait, why did I imagine Hikari kissing girl-me!?
What the fuck is wrong with me!?
That’s supremely unhelpful!
It’s all Mayumi and Haruki’s fault, putting strange ideas in my head.
Hikari looks at me expectantly.
She did watch me starve myself for basically two consecutive months.
That's it, isn’t it?
Does she worry about me?
She shouldn’t, she absolutely shouldn't, pretty boy was a really lousy guy prior to my take-over and I wasn’t a saint back at home either. Some loser shut-in who couldn’t hack it at college, who broke off all contact with his friends and family even as they kept reaching out. Who got himself killed in the stupidest of ways.
Fuck.
At this moment mom and dad are probably siting at home crying while I eat ramen in a konbini. What a fitting image.
What I lousy embarrassment of a son I am.
With hostility in my voice I ask, “Why are you being nice to me?”
“Because you’re nice and I like you?”
“Eh?”
“Katsumi, this place is like such a dump. No-one ever shows me a modicum of respect, not here or out there, except my friends and… you. Since day one you have been nothing but kind and friendly and not in an insincere or slimy way. No, it’s just you being you. And now that whatever cloud of doom that had you trapped is beginning to lift, you’re really pleasant to be around. And you tell funny stories about games and mangas that don’t exist, so please let me be nice to you.”
“You don’t know me. I’m not a good guy.”
“Katsumi…”
“No! I’m a liar and I hurt people!”
With that I leave. I can't be looking at her right now. I need to organize some chips or whatever and not think about any of this.
Not thinking would be really great just about now.
I put a hollow customer service smile on my face.
What a great day!
■ ■ ■
You're a liar, Katsumi.
I know that.
That’s the reason I know your kindness isn't a lie, or that you’re a clearly hurting.
I know the rest is fake.
I see the small hesitation you have while writing your name, as if you were fighting your muscle memory every time. That fake deep voice of yours that reeks of desperation and breaks every time you get excited. Your movements that betray you every step of the way.
I know what you are Katsumi.
You're a girl pretending to be a boy, and the way you avoid speaking about your family has me suspecting they are at fault.
Did father want a son so badly, that his daughter—desperate to please him—started to play one and is now stuck?
Or is it something more sinister…?
One day, I hope you let someone in, and I hope it's me.
You listen, and you're kind and you make me laugh. So, yes, let me at least repay the favor.
Also you’re hot.
The crossdressing thing sort of makes you even hotter. It makes want to rip that shirt off you to find those taped-down breasts of yours.
And are those socks in your pants, or do you posses a genuine packer?
I would love to find out.
Can't fault a girl for being curious.