01. Less Than Stellar Circumstances
So, if you make the mistake of getting hit by a truck at three in the morning, because you’re a depressed college dropout who ran out of ramen and really needed to make an impromptu late night trip to the konbini and you're too much of an idiot to pull out your earphones or comb your greasy ass hair out of your face before crossing the street, you might as well give it your all with your dying wish.
So with the darkness closing in, I beseeched the universe.
Please let me be a girl in my next life.
~*☆ Please let me be a girl in my next life! ☆*~
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That did not work out.
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Whatever's out there, the big wheel of samsara was not on my side.
No starting over. No cute girl in the mirror. Just some pretty faced douchebag my age.
Oh, and then there was this big mansion, an important family clan, something-something noble warriors for generations, bla bla, the full works. And to top it off, turns out I'd landed myself in the position of their petite third son Katsumi, who had—prior to my involuntary take-over of his life and body—exceeded in being a sadistic asshole.
Oh and pretty boy had driven his brand new sports car into a lamp post.
Oops.
It was nothing serious, just a minor concussion, but enough for a short stint at the hospital.
And that’s where I was handed the wheel.
Took me half a day to figure out that I'd left my old world behind, exchanged it for a another, that of a second-rate light novel whose chapters I'd been to stingy to buy after a while.
It hadn't been that good.
And with my luck, I found myself the would be bitter rival of the 'protagonist'. Some generic-looking hero type. Same type that graces the covers of mediocre manga the world over.
That’s where I broke.
If I had been a pretty girl, I would’ve acquiesced. Being a bully wasn’t my style — sounds like a hassle —but if that had been my entry fee to girlhood, I would’ve played my part.
Negging the protagonist, being a major bitch, always a step ahead until finally; my downfall! My pride tarnished! Sitting on the floor, my cute dress all dirty and the protagonist reaching out, because he was the good guy and so on.
But as a guy?
Fuck no!
I refuse!
I wasn’t going along with any of this! I flat out said no to everything.
If I wasn’t a girl, screw this!
I’m out!
I mean… I’m kinda sad that I ruined the protagonist’s story. Without his rival as a catalyst, the whole thing is probably wrecked. Not that I have a way of checking…
I do feel sorry for the guy, he seemed pretty decent when I read the novel. Even the one time I saw him in person he had this unshakable charisma. Good looks too.
Not like my pretty boy, the protagonist's more the rugged type.
Anyway, me being a major downer, refusing any and everything and shutting myself in, got me disowned by pretty boy’s warrior clan family and thrown out of the house.
Which was kinda harsh but okay. Fine.
Maybe the wrecked sports car didn’t help, but that wasn’t my fault was it?
Technically speaking…
Not that it matters. I’m stuck being pretty boy so I guess his sins are all mine now.
Big bro of pretty boy gave me his number. Guy felt—in all likelihood—sorry for me, but I wasn’t about to call him, he is basically a stranger to me, after all.
I mean, it was awkward as is, with me inhabiting someone else's body and life. It didn’t come with pretty boy’s memories, so I was at a loss most of the time. The whole concussion thing painted over the worst of it, thankfully.
Being away from pretty boy’s family makes things a whole lot easier on that front.
I could finally relax a bit.
────୨ৎ────
Out of the house, I'd landed myself this shitty job at a konbini in one of the less popular districts of ■■■. Got a one room apartment too—in walking distance which feels outrageously lucky for the likes of me, also entertained my gallows humor for a day or too.
Not that I care for any of this.
I’m not a girl for a second time.
This sucks.
Mr. Kataoka is nice I guess, and my coworker, Hikari, is capable of lightening my mood during break. Shiro on the other hand… I mean he's decent, but also an obnoxious gacha fanatic. Has his phone on full blast when pulling, says without the sound he can’t do it.
And… well, the days went by.
I’m glad we're a little off the main thoroughfare without being too far of the beaten path. Means we get mainly salarymen on lunch break and some grannies in the morning and very little demons.
Yes you heard right, this is a world with demons and magic. Not a lot of magic, just enough to hand wave away any necessary plot contrivances, but in general it's not too different from our own world.
Hunting demons is a dangerous gig job and yet somehow the thing this whole world revolves around. Okay, fine. If you make it into the big leagues as a demon-hunter, the payout is crazy and there's leaderboards showing the current rankings and everything and the top twelve S-rank Hunters are outright celebrities.
But for some depressed loser like me, the whole ordeal is mostly an annoying hassle. Having to check an app on your way home at night to see if there are any magical disturbances hinting at demon activity nearby.
And those sirens… Those fucking sirens if some A-class or higher demon was spotted in your area... Where you have to lock yourself into a windowless room and hope for the best.
My old world didn’t have any of this shit!
So I don't get to be a girl and have to deal with shitty ass demons on top of it?
I hate it.
ヾ(`ヘ´)ﾉﾞ
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Anyway, so I’m really angry, sitting in the fucking cramped-ass break room in the afternoon while Shiro’s phone is blaring annoying sounds and I’m wishing for an unironic second truck to just plow me away and Shiro with me, when it comes on the news.
Ordinary demon-hunter stuff. The local new B-ranks, something about what the demons of this season are and what to do to avoid them, that kind of stuff.
Boring.
But then an announcement comes on, saying that the official board of the demon-hunter guild has reclassified some high level hunter’s gear, once again a boring technicality.
But the hunter’s gear that's got reclassified has my full attention.
Because the name's intriguing.
It’s actual function, I learn after a short search on my phone, even more.
I grab Shiro’s shoulder in excitement before jumping up and screaming at the top of my lungs.
"FUCK YES!!!"
This is my way out!
My ticket to finally be a girl!
There's this thing out there that can just change me into a girl in an instant!
Okay, it’s high level restricted demon-hunter’s gear but it does exist.
Magical sex-change!
~*☆ Yes! ☆*~
At once, my mind's made up. I’m switching careers to become a demon-hunter! So I can finally become a girl!
Okay, maybe not switching careers, more… part time—at first.
The pay out for hunting low class demons is… abysmal.
I check my phone again.
Restricted to A-rank hunters or higher.
My mood deflates.
There only are like, a thousand A-rank hunters in the whole country.
This is impossible.
Dangling a solution for my plight in front of me just out of reach.
Another impossible mountain to taunt me.
Stuck again.
ヽ(｀Д´#)ﾉ
No!
I’m not going to give up!
I will grind my way to the top!
I need to be a girl!
I don’t care for anything else!
Shiro eyes me in confusion.
Whatever.