Chapter 35: The Version Where I Listen
Allandra did not answer Serali’s remark.
That, more than anything, made Serali wary.
The Queen stepped fully into the room, and Daravan followed with a sheaf of papers, a quill, and a small bottle of ink. He set them on the table near the window with the care of a man handling something more dangerous than fragile.
Serali looked from the papers to Allandra.
“Am I being charged with something new?”
“No,” Allandra said.
“Disappointing. I was hoping for variety.”
Daravan’s mouth twitched. Allandra’s did not.
“You are going to tell me the truth,” Allandra said. “All of it.”
Serali leaned back against the pillows. “I tried that before. You didn’t seem to enjoy it.”
“I asked questions before.” Allandra’s gaze flicked once to the restraints, then back to Serali’s face. “This time, I am going to listen.”
That landed badly.
Not because it was cruel. Because it wasn’t.
Serali looked away first, which annoyed her enough that she looked back immediately.
“And he is here to write down my tragic confession?”
Daravan drew out the chair and sat. “Someone should get the words right.”
“How comforting.”
Allandra remained standing at the foot of the bed. No crown. No armor. No visible weapon. Only a dark green coat buttoned to the throat and the kind of stillness that made a room feel smaller.
“If your account matches what we can confirm,” she said, “it may change what options are available.”
“Options,” Serali repeated.
“A ship. A new name. Passage out, if that proves safest and possible.”
Serali’s throat tightened before she could stop it.
She hated that Allandra saw.
“I am not promising what I cannot yet give,” Allandra said. “But I am telling you the truth.”
Serali studied her.
A queen’s truth. A jailer’s truth. A woman’s truth.
They looked annoyingly similar from this angle.
“Fine,” Serali said. “But I hear the verdict before anyone drags me anywhere.”
“You have my word.”
Daravan dipped the quill.
Serali stared at the ink-dark point until it blurred.
Then she began.
“I was born north of Naerith. Small village. Timber roads, goats, too much snow. My mother was hiding there.”
Allandra’s attention sharpened. “From whom?”
Serali picked at a loose thread on the coverlet, then forced her hand still. “A man with old blood and too much power. She had served in his household. Not important enough to matter. Too important to vanish cleanly.”
Daravan’s quill scratched softly.
“She married a woodworker,” Serali said. “He raised me. He knew I wasn’t his and decided I was anyway.”
The words scraped going out.
She had not meant to say it like that. Not so simply. Not in a way that made the room quiet.
“I had a sister,” she continued before either of them could speak. “Kira. Younger. Loud. Sticky-fingered. She hated her ears.”
Daravan’s quill paused for half a breath, then moved again.
Serali looked toward the window. “My mother kept me indoors more as I got older. Said I had weak lungs. Said the cold bothered me. Anything that might explain why her woodworker’s daughter had Xuiven eyes.”
Allandra did not move.
“The village lord noticed eventually. Or his steward. Someone with ambition and no imagination.” Serali’s mouth twisted. “Soldiers came before dawn. No banners. No grand declaration. Just boots in the mud and hands in my hair.”
“How old were you?” Allandra asked.
“Thirteen.”
The number changed Allandra’s face.
Not much. Not enough for pity. But enough.
“They took you alone?”
Serali swallowed. “They took my mother too, at first. I saw my father bleeding in the yard. Kira was hiding. Then they separated us.”
“Your father,” Daravan said carefully.
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Serali’s eyes cut to him. “The man who raised me.”
He lowered his gaze. “Of course.”
She could have hated him for asking. Instead, she hated that he had understood.
“I never saw them again,” she said. “No one would tell me whether they lived. No one would admit the question deserved an answer.”
Allandra’s jaw tightened.
Serali noticed. She noticed everything now. The small shift in a breath. The moment a hand wanted to become a fist and did not.
“My blood father kept me,” she said. “Not openly. I was not presented, not acknowledged. I was put in the servants’ quarters and told to answer to Serali and nothing else.”
“Why keep you?” Allandra asked.
Serali laughed once. “You ask that as if cruelty needs a purpose.”
“Doesn’t it?”
“In court? Usually not.”
That earned nothing from Allandra, though Daravan’s quill slowed.
“At first, I think he was curious,” Serali said. “Then he was bored. Then I became his wife’s problem.”
“The woman who did this to you.”
Serali looked at her. “You say that as if there was only one.”
The room cooled around the words.
Daravan stopped writing.
Serali looked down at her bandaged wrists and regretted saying it. Not because it was untrue. Because Allandra did not snap back.
That was becoming a problem.
“Tell me,” Allandra said.
So Serali did.
Not all of it. Not the root cellar in detail. Not the dark rooms. Not the way the housekeeper counted lashes as if reciting inventory. Not the first time hunger became so familiar it felt like a second pulse. She told the shape of it instead: kitchens, laundry, floors, hunger, correction. A household learning not to be kind. A wife making sure any softness toward Serali cost someone else.
Daravan wrote until his hand slowed.
“You can put that down,” Serali said. “It won’t stain the page.”
His mouth tightened, but he obeyed.
Allandra’s voice was very quiet when she spoke again. “The scars on your back.”
Serali’s shoulders stiffened. “What about them?”
“His wife?”
“Sometimes. The housekeeper more often. His wife preferred an audience.”
Allandra looked down.
It was brief. Barely a blink too long. But Serali saw it.
“I am sorry,” Allandra said.
Serali stared at her.
The words had no use. That was the first thing wrong with them. They did not change the bed, the locked door, the leather at her wrists. They did not open a ship’s gangplank or rewrite a century of hands raised in correction.
They were just there.
Awkward. Plain. Unadorned.
Serali did not know what to do with them.
“People usually say I must have earned it,” she said, before she could stop herself.
Allandra lifted her eyes. “Did you?”
The question should have been a blade. It was not.
Serali looked at her hands. “I stole food. Talked back. Ran when I could. Hated them where they could see it.” Her voice roughened. “So yes. I did many things.”
“None of them deserved that.”
Serali’s breath caught.
Daravan’s quill moved again, quieter now.
The room had become dangerous in an entirely new way.
She should have stopped. She knew that. She should have folded herself back into sarcasm and half-truths while she still could.
Instead, she said, “My brother helped.”
Daravan’s quill paused.
Allandra’s face changed by a fraction. “Your brother?”
“My half-brother.” Serali forced her fingers open. “He found me after one of the housekeeper’s lessons. Gave me salve first. Then books. Then spells.”
“What kind of spells?”
“Small ones. Pain-dulling. Heat. A little light I could hide under my hand.” Her mouth twitched despite everything. “He said my pronunciation was appalling.”
Something almost warm crossed Allandra’s face and vanished.
“He trained you in secret.”
“Yes.”
“Why?”
“Because he was kind.”
Allandra’s gaze held hers. “Kindness is rarely enough reason in a noble house.”
“No,” Serali said. “But guilt helps.”
Daravan made a small sound.
Serali glanced at him. “Leave that in. It’s probably important.”
“I am writing what you say.”
“That sounds dangerous.”
“It often is,” Allandra said.
The answer was so dry that Serali looked at her before she could stop herself.
For one moment, the room shifted. Not safer. Never safe. But less sharp at the edges.
Then Allandra asked, “When did your father learn you had magic?”
A cold thread pulled through Serali’s ribs.
“He learned it was strong enough to matter right before I left.”
Allandra frowned. “Only then?”
“I knew before that. My brother knew. We hid it.”
“From his wife?”
“From everyone.”
“Including your father?”
“Yes.”
“How did he learn?”
“My brother taught me in the hunting preserve,” she said. “Someone followed us. She told his wife, and his wife told my father. She thought he would punish Cillian for it.”
Silence.
Serali felt the word leave her too late.
Cillian.
Daravan’s head lifted.
Allandra went utterly still.
Serali’s pulse struck hard against the bandages.
“My brother,” she said quickly.
Allandra’s voice was even. Too even. “Prince Cillian of Lyehira?”
Serali said nothing.
The room arranged itself around her silence.
Daravan’s face had gone carefully blank. Allandra did not look at him. She did not have to.
Serali saw the calculation complete behind the Queen’s eyes.
Cillian.
Xuiven blood.
Half-brother.
Father.
Allandra took one slow step closer to the bed.
“Serali,” she said.
“No.”
It came out useless and sharp.
Allandra’s mouth tightened. “Who is your father?”
The answer had been waiting in every interrogation. In every glance at her hair, her eyes, her magic. Serali had built herself around not saying it.
If she said it, she became something else.
Not a runaway. Not a prisoner. Not a mage.
Leverage.
Hostage.
Weapon.
Daughter.
Daravan was pale beneath the warm undertone of his skin. He already knew. Of course he knew.
Allandra knew too.
Serali did not say it.
Allandra’s voice lowered. “Why did Prince Cillian help you escape?”
“Because I needed to escape.”
“From punishment?”
Serali looked down.
“From what?”
No threat. No raised voice.
That was worse.
Serali closed her eyes.
She could still refuse. She could let them guess. She could wrap herself around the last usable scrap of secrecy and bite anyone who tried to pry it loose.
But she was tired.
“He was going to use me to make an heir,” she said.
Daravan did not move.
Allandra’s face emptied.
“Use you,” she repeated.
Serali nodded once.
“Your father.”
“Yes.”
Allandra’s eyes went colder and more horrified at once. “He knew that?”
Serali almost laughed, but there was no air for it. “It was the point.”
Allandra turned her face aside, just slightly, as if the sunlight had become too bright.
Serali kept speaking because if she stopped, she would hear herself.
“Cillian heard him. He said the bloodline was thinning. That a child from both sides of Xuiven blood might restore it. He said necessity was not desire.”
Daravan’s quill slipped from his fingers and tapped against the table.
The sound was very small.
It was enough.
Allandra was looking at her as if the bed, the room, the entire palace had shifted under their feet.
The Queen stepped back.
“I need to think.”
Panic hit so quickly Serali nearly reached for her. The restraints caught before she could.
“Wait.”
Allandra stopped at the door.
“You said if I told the truth—” Serali hated the sound of her voice. Hated the thin line of need in it. “You said there was a ship.”
For one impossible second, Allandra looked as if she might apologize again.
Instead, she said, “There was.”
Then she left.
The words remained after her.
There was.
Daravan gathered the papers with hands that were almost steady. He capped the ink, retrieved the fallen quill, and did not look at her until everything was stacked neatly in his arms.
“She won’t let me go now,” Serali said.
Daravan’s silence was answer enough.
He followed his queen out and closed the door with more care than the guards ever used.
Serali sat very still, the cooling tray across her lap, the tea gone bitter on her tongue. Sunlight gilded the porcelain, the folded napkin, the little cup that had tasted, briefly, of freedom.
She had told the truth.
She had told it well enough to be believed.
And in doing so, she had ruined her one chance.
When the lock clicked, it sounded less like a door closing than a verdict.
