Chapter 58: Union Dues
The treasury glowed with a radiance born of fire reflecting off of gold and gems, the light pooling warm across slopes of coin that stretched away into the vault's deep shadows. It was peaceful down there, below the traffic of the halls. There was a distant pushing of magma in its vents and the soft clinking of metal against metal as they worked.
Barjuchne sat in the middle of it with her legs crossed, humming to herself, swaying from side to side in a youthful joy. Her tail swished behind her in the opposite rhythm, keeping time with the song, while her claws worked.
A coin went onto the tower. Then she grabbed one from the dirty pile and began cleaning it.
"Isn't this the best?" she asked, sounding genuinely thrilled.
She picked up a coin between two claws and held it out. "Look! This one has a little scratch here." She pointed at the tiny skull stamped on the coin's face. "It makes it look like it's smiling."
Barjuchne held it out at full extension with both claws, admiring it, deeply content.
"This is a special one," she declared.
She set it down on a pile of millions of coins exactly like it.
A polite sigh came from beside her. "...Yes, my Queen," said the royal maid, not as thrilled.
The royal maid was lesser nobility of some manner but did not have princess blood, and so the heat of the deep treasury had not come as easy to her as it had to the others. Instead, she just had incredible willpower and stamina and a frame to match.
She was a proper woman, built along disciplined lines, the kind of figure that came from years of upright posture and tireless labour, never once going soft. The removal of her outfit's under-fluff had left the black dress clinging to her, and the heat had made it cling further, tracing the swell of her chest where sweat had begun to pool and the sharp inward draw of her waist before the dress flared back out over her hips. She had rolled the skirt up to her knees and pushed her sleeves as high as they would go. Her black bob-cut had gone damp at the edges, her bangs drooping just low enough to drape across her eyes and obscure them, so that only the soft sheen of sweat on her face remained as a feature of note.
Barjuchne nodded along, not noticing. "I like you. You get it," she said, glancing at the glistening maid with approval. "Not like the others. You know how often I've asked Veliah to come help me polish my coins? Or Ei to build a big castle out of ingots with me?" She leaned over and set a coin onto the tower with care, nudging it a fraction of an inch with one claw tip until the pile was perfect.
"But nooo," she went on, settling back. "It's always 'That's dumb, just spend your gold on something nice' this, and 'I'm sorry, my Queen, but the structural integrity of bullion is insufficient for a hive' that." She shook her head. "They just don't get it."
The maid nodded along, polishing. "You have a lot to bear, my queen."
"Right? I mean, of course I love them. But I just wish they'd take an interest in what I like and not just in me. Does that make sense?" She picked up a sword from the nearest pile and turned it over. Lord Parsmuth's old blade, pitted now, its gilt flaking. "Wow. That's nostalgic," she muttered.
"Of course, my queen," replied the maid, oiling a coin with a polishing cloth to make it shinier than before. "It's natural to want to share what brings us joy with those closest to us."
Barjuchne nodded and set the sword aside.
The maid wiped her face, melting. Then she reached down and pushed a bucket toward the dragon. "Ah. Please?"
Barjuchne looked at the bucket. Then she inhaled and exhaled a short, controlled breath of frost over it.
The cold air rolled over the maid, who sighed in relief, her hair and damp clothes billowing in the icy draft, arms spread to catch all of it.
The water in the bucket froze solid, the maid setting it between her crossed legs as they returned to work.
"Just take off your dress if you're so warm," said Barjuchne, buffing a coin. "I doubt you'll surprise me."
"I don't think they would approve, my queen," said the maid, hugging the ice bucket.
A loud throat-clearing sounded behind them.
Barjuchne sat upright and looked over.
She perked up immediately, tail lifting. Veliah and Rou-ya stood at the mouth of the treasury. "Hey! I was wondering if I was going to see any of you today."
"We were upstairs talking," said Veliah.
Slowly, the others came in behind them. F.P., drifting in with her arms crossed. Blibli, glooping along the floor.
"Ah, that's great. I really like that you're all getting along so well these days," said Barjuchne, watching with open pleasure as the rest arrived. Ei, the twin saintesses, and everyone else, filing in and spreading out among the coin slopes. "You guys for the treasure too? Veliah, look!"
She grabbed an old helmet from the pile and held it up. "It's from your fiancé! Who I ate!"
“Do you have to say that in front of everyone?” muttered Veliah.
The princesses lined up.
Barjuchne lowered the helmet slowly. "...What?"
It was unusual for them to gather like this. Veliah and Rou-ya exchanged a nod. Veliah stepped forward.
"Barjuchne. We've all come together and had a long talk," said the elf.
Barjuchne narrowed her eyes. That sounded ominous.
"And we've decided that..."
"Go on," said the dragon, narrowing her eyes further.
"...That we want an allowance."
"YOU'LL HAVE TO KILL ME FIRST!"
The roar shook the vault. Barjuchne dropped to all fours and semi-charged up the coin slope toward them, claws gouging furrows in the gold, coins cascading downhill in glittering waves. The princesses scattered with a chorus of startled noises, grabbing each other and diving behind whatever was available. The saintesses projected a holy shield around themselves and half the group in a wash of golden light.
Veliah alone did not move.
She stood exactly where she was with a blank expression, and as the dragon arrived, she simply put one hand out and pressed it flat against Barjuchne's forehead, halting her at arm's length.
"Hey," said the elf, firmly, in the tone of a reminder.
Barjuchne strained against the hand for a moment, growling.
She stopped and she stared.
Then she started laughing.
"Oh. Wait. Oh my gods," she wheezed, standing upright, wiping her eyes. "Oh, you guys really got me there." She exhaled, hand on her chest. "Sorry. I got scared for a second."
She looked around at the others emerging from their hiding places. Ei popped her head out of an impromptu hole she had reflexively tunnelled, which Blibli had then sealed with her body, capping the ant princess in like a stopper.
"...Really? You all don't really think I'd ever hurt any of you?"
"You're a little scary sometimes," said Schmand, rattled, climbing out from behind Bruschetta.
"We're serious," said Veliah. "I am tired of eating goblin food. If I have to look at a roasted animal on a spit one more time, I am going to lose my mind."
"I have never been to a human city," noted Rou-ya. "It sounds like a lot of fun. And now that they're all yours, I can. I would love to go 'shopping'." She made the little quotes with her fingers. "Veliah has told me much about it."
"Why would you do that?!" yelled Barjuchne, clutching her head. Shopping costs money.
Veliah rolled her eyes.
"We want to buy candy!" said Blibli excitedly, wrapping herself around Ei. The ant princess stretched her out absently while the slime went on. "Ei told me all about sugar and candy, and now I want a lot of it! Every day!"
"Why would you do that?!" cried Barjuchne, in greater despair than before. Candy costs money.
The saintesses raised their hands in unison. "I would like to spend time at the orphanage," said one.
"The year is coming to a close, and there are many hungry mouths that we could help with this great wealth," said the other.
"In correspondence, we have promised many orphans warm beds and full stomachs soon, because of the abundant mercy of their new queen."
Barjuchne fell to her knees, clutching her head. "WHY WOULD YOU DO THAT?!" she howled in anguish.
Orphans would be exceptionally expensive.
"Oh, come on," said Veliah, annoyed. "You aren't that heartless."
"Try me!" yelled the dragon queen. She crossed her arms in agitation, tightly, as she rose again. A long growl escaping her chest. "No way! We need this money here!" She gestured behind her at the obscene, ridiculous levels of wealth. "What if an emergency pops up and we need it?"
Edelgard raised her hand. "I'm gonna go gambling in a shady back-alley den. But when I lose," she began, eyes shining, "I'll beat them all up and take their money!"
"Accepted," said Barjuchne, to her alone, dryly. “But don’t take the others with you. They don’t need more bad influences.”
Veliah shook her head, arms crossed too. "Barjuchne. You've left us no choice. You did this. Remember that." She looked around. "Everyone."
Barjuchne looked around as they began to approach her.
But softly.
She took a step back, unnerved. Rou-ya reached her first and took her hand, gazing up with enormous, limpid eyes. Veliah leaned in close to her ear.
"Please," said the elf, whispering.
"Please?" asked Rou-ya.
“What… what are you doing?” asked the dragon, nervously. “What is this?”
They surrounded her. All of her princesses, closing in from every side, taking her arms and her shoulders and her tail, making sad faces and sadder pleas, pressing kisses to her from all around.
“Never!” snarled Barjuchne, tensing defensively.
“I beseech you,” said a saintess gently, grabbing her arm and nuzzling it.
“Just a little. For me?” said the other one, grabbing the other arm.
"No! You can't do this to me!" snapped Barjuchne.
“...Pretty please?” asked Bruschetta, rubbing her face against her collarbone, looking up at her with a pitiful expression. She let out a sad cough. “I just want to buy something to look nice for you,” she said meekly.
Averting her eyes, Barjuchne looked away. Only to see that F.P. was hovering there.
“Even I would care to get some fresh air for a day,” said the fairy. “It has been years since I’ve sampled teas and cakes. I would enjoy partaking in them with you, of course.”
“...Not you too,” said Barjuchne in disbelief.
F.P. seemed to have as much trouble processing it as she did. “...Please,” forced the fairy out of herself with great effort before flying over and placing exactly one small peck on her forehead.
"You're all sick!" cried Barjuchne.
"Pleeease~," pleaded a goopy voice as Blibli wrapped herself up and around the dragon, her massive googly eyes quivering in the goo they floated in, about to cry. Blibli kissed her other cheek. "Please!" She kissed her again. "Pleeease!"
Barjuchne cried out in anguish, a sea of bodies pressed in around her.
It was later.
The treasury was quiet again, and the maid sat among the coins, polishing.
The princesses had left together, laughing and happy, all of them carrying full purses.
Silently, the maid set a coin onto the stack. She picked up the next one.
She looked up.
A dark, leathery ball laid there on the floor.
The dragon queen lay on the ground, her tail and wings curled around herself into a tight shield, as if to protect her from being hurt more than she already had been. She did not move.
It looked rather tragic.
"My queen," started the maid. "Perhaps you should join them? It would be a fun exercise for you all. And it would give you something to connect over."
There was a wordless, threatening, low growling from the mass.
The maid returned to her work, polishing another coin. "Perhaps the true wealth here is not your gold. But the love you can show with it, to those who matter most to you."
The wings opened a smidgen. A ruby eye shone through the gap.
They stared at each other.
The maid lifted her hand and held out the coin she had just finished cleaning as a token offering.
The dragon's hand shot out from the ball, snatched it, and clutched it close, and the wings and tail snapped shut again around the treasure.
The maid stared for a moment.
"...Maybe not," she said to herself, smiling, and went back to her work, picking up another coin. “Is there anything I can do to help ease your aching heart? Anything at all?”
The dragon’s wing slowly opened again.
Finding herself being stared at, the maid tilted her head and then slowly held out the next coin toward her.
Silence.
Suddenly, the dragon’s hand shot out again, wrapping around her wrist. The maid let out a surprised yelp as she was yanked in, quickly wrapped up within the tail and wings.
The coin clattered to the floor.
“It’s… too warm,” she gasped, fighting her way out of the bundle like a drowning person surfacing the ocean. Her torso emerged, just barely managing to fight out through the closed squeeze of the dragon’s seal, her arms climbing out over the wing’s edge that she flopped over.
From below her, the dragon’s ice breath escaped the cocoon.
A surprised shriek. “T-Too cold!” she shivered abruptly, frost and snowflakes blowing out into the treasure room. Her dress crackled, the damp fabric freezing solid around her.
A pair of clawed hands grabbed her at the waist and pulled her back inside, the wings sealing shut, for the ice to quickly melt away.