Chapter : 167
Chapter : 167
"I don't have magic, boss lady, I have logic," Ken bragged proudly. He let his chair drop forward with a loud thud, resting his elbows on the table. He pointed a finger at the dark communication device.
"Look, the Emperor said every unit has to field a full roster, right?" Ken asked, treating the situation like a completely basic riddle. "And right now, Olivia is officially on our roster, which means we need her. But she is way too slow to show up for a mandatory war."
Sayma frowned, totally confused by his rambling. "Yes, Ken. That is the exact problem we are currently crying about."
"So, fix the roster," Ken suggested lazily, offering a totally sarcastic, unbothered grin. "Just officially fire her. Send her a termination notice right now. If we fire her, she isn't on the team anymore. Then our official roster only has eight spots total, and we have eight people sitting in this house. Boom. Full roster achieved. We save ourselves a massive headache, and we get to fight in the tournament. It is flawless slacker logic."
The entire room stared at him. They were completely, utterly bewildered by the sheer, absolute stupidity of his suggestion.
"Fire her?" Laxmi asked, her jaw dropping open. "You want us to legally terminate our most skilled, disciplined veteran fighter just to find a loophole in a piece of paperwork?"
"Yes!" Ken nodded happily, completely missing their outrage. "It's perfect! Plus, she sounds really strict. If we fire her, I never have to meet her, and she can't yell at me for having my shirt untucked. It is an absolute win-win for everyone involved!"
Ken leaned back in his chair again, looking incredibly proud of his terrible, lazy joke. He fully expected Naomi to start yelling at him, or for Laxmi to throw a fireball at his head.
But he did not expect the reaction from the person standing directly next to him.
Ira, the totally silent, perfectly emotionless water mage, had been standing quietly by Ken’s chair the entire time. Her face was as flat and blank as a stone wall. She did not yell. She did not sigh. She did not even look at him.
Without changing her expression a single millimeter, Ira simply lifted her right foot.
With pinpoint, ruthless precision, she brought the sharp, hard heel of her sturdy combat boot crashing directly down onto Ken’s toes.
CRUNCH.
"YEEEEOUWCCH!" Ken shrieked at the absolute top of his lungs.
The pain was completely genuine. He hadn't bothered using any magical defenses because he thought he was perfectly safe in the strategy room.
Ken leaped entirely out of his chair, abandoning his lazy posture instantly. He hopped wildly around the room on one leg, grabbing his crushed foot with both hands. He squeezed his eyes shut, letting out a series of high-pitched, dramatic whimpers.
"My toes!" Ken yelled, bounding past the wooden table like a panicked rabbit. "My fragile, innocent toes! Ira! Why would you do that?! I was trying to help! My bones are basically made of glass!"
Ira stood perfectly still, her hands clasped neatly behind her back. She stared straight ahead, completely ignoring the hopping, screaming boy right next to her.
"Your suggestion was highly illogical and completely disrespectful to a veteran teammate," Ira stated in her monotonous, robotic voice. "Physical reprimand was the most efficient way to stop you from speaking."
"You could have just asked me to stop!" Ken whined, leaning against the wall and rubbing his throbbing foot. "Violence is never the answer!"
Naomi didn't even blink at Ken’s suffering. She actually looked like she entirely approved of Ira’s method.
"Ignore the idiot," Naomi commanded, turning her attention rapidly back to Princess Iris and Sayma. "We cannot fire Olivia, and we cannot show up with eight people. We have exactly forty-eight hours to figure out how to put a ninth body onto that battlefield, or we are completely finished."
Sayma frantically flipped through her notebooks, her eyes scanning ancient rulebooks and tournament guidelines, desperately searching for any obscure, hidden clause that could possibly save them from absolute ruin.
Ken continued to dramatically hop around the back of the room, loudly complaining about his bruised foot, while the elite girls completely tuned his pain out. The clock was officially ticking, the pressure was immense, and the 13th Unit was scrambling blindly to find a miracle before the Emperor’s tournament disqualified them for good.
---
The long corridor leading to the very last room of the estate was incredibly quiet. The 13th Unit marched down the hallway together, their footsteps echoing against the old, peeling wallpaper. At the absolute front of the group, Sayma held a small, glowing textbook in one hand, softly whispering the complex counter-spells required to unlock the massive iron chains wrapped around the door.
Ken Eliot dragged his feet at the absolute back of the group. His cheap shoes made a loud scuffing sound against the floorboards. Scuff. Scuff. Scuff. He had his hands shoved deep into the pockets of his wrinkled, untucked dark blue uniform shirt, and he looked entirely unconvinced by this entire plan.
"So, just to be totally clear," Ken said loudly, breaking the quiet atmosphere. "We are voluntarily opening the door that is covered in giant, scary metal chains and glowing yellow warning seals? Because in every single cartoon I have ever watched, the thing hiding behind the giant locked door is never friendly. It is usually a very angry monster with too many teeth."
Naomi looked over her shoulder and rolled her green eyes. She didn't yell at him with absolute disgust anymore. Ever since he had saved her life in the dungeon a few days ago, she treated him much more like a highly annoying, naughty little brother who simply could not stop talking.
"Relax, Ken," Naomi sighed, shaking her head with a small, amused smile. "There is no monster in there. It is just our teammate. Stop acting like a scared little kid."
"I am a very fragile person!" Ken argued playfully, crossing his arms and pouting. "If a giant beast jumps out of there, I am hiding behind Zinia. She is the tallest. It is basic survival logic."
Zinia chuckled, cracking her knuckles. "You can hide behind me all you want, Ken, but I promise you won't need to. Risa is literally the sweetest person in this entire building."
"Statistically speaking," Ira chimed in from the side, her face completely flat and devoid of any emotion. "The chances of Risa biting your head off are precisely zero percent. However, the chances of you complaining about something within the next five minutes remain at a solid one hundred percent."
"Wow, Ira, you are just a comedy genius today," Ken mumbled, giving the deadpan water mage a goofy thumbs-up.
At the front of the group, Sayma finally finished her chant. A bright flash of golden light sparked around the iron chains. With a loud clanking noise, the thick metal links loosened and fell harmlessly to the wooden floorboards. The glowing yellow warning seals painted on the wood slowly faded away into nothingness.