Pure Route in a Netorare School

From Yuki’s Perspective:

After the long break, our whole group left the cafeteria and headed back to class.

The corridors were noisy.

Some people were rushing to their next lesson. Others were still eating while walking. A few were arguing by the vending machines.

I barely noticed any of it.

Because I was walking right next to Hayato.

No — not just next to him.

I could finally call him my boyfriend without lying to myself.

Just thinking about it made something warm spread through my chest, and I wanted to smile for no reason.

I was holding his hand.

At first, I did it carefully, still half-afraid he might get embarrassed and pull away.

But Hayato didn’t pull away.

He only blushed a few times whenever our fingers accidentally laced together more tightly.

It was so sweet I could barely keep from laughing.

Satomi walked ahead of us, still trying to convince everyone that the idea of a shared schedule still made sense. Miu argued with her, though it was obvious she was already mentally rewriting the whole thing in her head. Aya kept throwing in sharp comments every other sentence. Rin stayed the calmest of us all, though she glanced at Hayato from time to time.

The usual group.

The usual school corridor.

And yet, for me, the world felt completely different today.

I had finally done what I had wanted to do for so long.

I told him.

I didn’t run away.

I didn’t go quiet.

I didn’t hide behind anime talk.

I even managed to kiss him.

Even if it barely counted as a kiss.

I had simply leaned in closer and let my lips brush against his for a single moment.

Hayato froze.

Then he turned so red that even his ears went scarlet.

I almost died of embarrassment on the spot.

But still…

It was a precious memory.

Mine.

Ours.

Now no one could say there was nothing between us.

— Amano-san.

I recognized the voice immediately.

I turned around.

Kurosaki-kun was walking a little behind the rest of the group.

Calm.

Tall.

With his usual unreadable expression.

— Can you stay behind for a minute?

I looked at Hayato.

I didn’t want to let go of his hand. Not at all.

But I still loosened my fingers.

— I’ll catch up soon.

Hayato gave an awkward little smile.

— Okay. We’ll be in class.

The others kept walking. Aya turned first, then Miu. Rin let her gaze linger on Kurosaki-kun a second longer than the rest… but no one said anything.

A few seconds later, we were alone.

The corridor gradually emptied. The noise faded.

I turned to him and smiled without meaning to.

— Thank you, Kurosaki-kun.

He stayed silent.

I continued, still feeling my face grow warmer.

— I’m dating Hayato now.

The words came out clearly.

Real.

I still couldn’t quite believe it.

— He was really embarrassed, of course…

I laughed softly.

— But I even managed to kiss him.

It came out louder than I intended.

It was hard to call it a real kiss. I had only barely touched his lips.

But for me… that moment meant so much.

I had expected at least a small smile. Some kind of comment. Maybe his usual teasing about how shy Hayato was.

But Kurosaki-kun showed no emotion at all.

None.

He simply looked at me calmly.

Lately, this had started to bother me.

Before, I could almost always tell what he was feeling — from the corners of his mouth, from his eyes, from his voice.

Now it felt like standing in front of a closed door.

— I actually wanted to talk to you about that, — he said.

His voice was cold. Too even.

My smile disappeared on its own.

An unpleasant feeling appeared in my chest. Small, but quickly growing.

— About what?..

Kurosaki-kun didn’t even look away.

— I helped you get closer to Hayato.

I nodded.

— Yeah…

— Now you’re dating.

— Yeah.

He paused for a moment.

— So, in order not to interfere with your relationship, you and I need to limit how much we interact.

I didn’t understand right away. I just kept staring at him.

— What?..

— We’ll treat each other as acquaintances from now on.

He said it calmly. Casually. Like he was discussing class schedules.

— No more constant meetings.

No more joint training.

No more unnecessary walks.

No more streams at my place.

Every new sentence felt heavier than the last.

My heart skipped.

In my head, memories came flooding back.

That day when I felt like I was alone against the whole world again.

And then he appeared.

Not Hayato. Not a teacher.

Kurosaki-kun.

Then the shopping mall. The clothes. His calm voice. The way he taught me to stand straight, to look people in the eye, to stop apologizing for every word.

The streams. The mask. The camera.

The first time I could speak in front of hundreds of people without feeling worthless.

The first time I looked in the mirror and thought that maybe I could be beautiful too.

Not by accident. Not thanks to good lighting.

For real.

He helped me start talking to people again.

Helped me stop being afraid.

Helped me get closer to Hayato.

Gave me back the confidence I thought I had lost forever.

I wanted to argue.

To say it was stupid.

That everything could stay the way it was.

That Hayato wouldn’t get jealous.

That I didn’t want to stop streaming with him.

But the words wouldn’t come out.

My chest felt tight.

Like something heavy was slowly pressing from the inside.

My shoulders dropped on their own.

I started hunching again. Only a little.

But Kurosaki-kun noticed.

Of course he noticed.

And still he continued:

— When a girl starts dating someone, she shouldn’t have another close guy around.

I lowered my gaze.

— Especially when it involves things like private meetings, photoshoots, and streams.

He spoke logically.

Too logically.

— So from now on, it’s better to keep some distance.

I froze.

My chest felt hollow. Sick. Painful.

But he was right.

Wasn’t he?

Hayato was my boyfriend.

The person I had always wanted to be with.

I had wanted to be with him from the very beginning.

I had dreamed about him.

Kurosaki-kun had simply done what he was supposed to do.

He helped.

He brought me to the point I needed to reach.

And now he was stepping aside.

So he wouldn’t interfere.

It was the right thing to do.

Noble.

Reasonable.

So why did I want to grab his sleeve and ask him not to go?

— …Yeah.

My voice came out very quiet.

— I understand.

He was still looking at me.

Calmly.

Coldly.

I forced myself to continue:

— Then… let’s do it that way…

He didn’t wait for me to finish.

He simply turned and walked into the classroom.

His tall figure disappeared behind the door.

Just a few steps.

And that was it.

I was left alone in the corridor.

I stared at the spot where he had just been standing.

And suddenly I felt it especially clearly.

It was as if a huge stone wall had been standing beside me all this time.

Tall.

Heavy.

Reliable.

It had shielded me from other people’s eyes.

From fear.

From the past.

From the whole world.

And now that wall was gone.

Only a small fence remained.

Kind.

Warm.

Familiar.

In the form of Hayato.

I loved him.

I really did.

But for the first time, I thought:

Can he protect me the same way?

I immediately hated myself for the thought.

I squeezed my eyes shut.

Clenched my fingers.

Don’t think like that…

Hayato was waiting for me in class.

Now he was my boyfriend.

And I was supposed to be happy.

That was exactly what I had wanted.

So why, standing in front of the classroom door, could I not make myself go inside?

On the lesson I was completely spaced out.

The teacher’s voice sounded like it was coming from far away.

Formulas appeared on the board.

Chalk squeaked.

Textbook pages rustled around me.

But I didn’t understand a single word.

In front of my eyes, over and over, I saw Kurosaki-kun’s back.

The way he turned around.

The way he left without even hearing my answer.

— We’ll just be acquaintances.

I lowered my gaze to my notebook.

Only one line was written on the page.

And it broke off in the middle.

The pen froze between my fingers.

— This is the right thing.

I repeated it, probably for the tenth time.

— I have Hayato.

— Kurosaki-kun just doesn’t want to interfere.

— This will be better for everyone.

But no matter how much I tried to convince myself, it didn’t get easier.

The opposite.

Every time I mentally called us “acquaintances,” something inside me clenched painfully.

I carefully raised my eyes.

Hayato was sitting in front.

Sometimes he turned his head in my direction.

Once our eyes met.

He smiled softly.

I forced myself to smile back.

It probably looked convincing enough.

Hayato turned back to the board.

And I felt even worse.

Why isn’t his smile enough for me?

To my left sat Kurosaki-kun.

Only a few meters away.

But today that distance felt enormous.

He never once looked in my direction.

He calmly wrote down the teacher’s explanations.

Sometimes flipped through the textbook.

As if our conversation in the corridor had never happened.

As if I had truly become just another classmate.

Nothing special.

Nothing different from the rest.

My chest tightened again unpleasantly.

I straightened my back on autopilot.

The way he had taught me.

Shoulders back.

Chin slightly higher.

Don’t hide my gaze.

But a few seconds later I hunched over again.

Without his voice, it was much harder.

Finally the bell rang.

The class instantly came alive.

Chairs scraped.

Someone immediately started discussing homework.

Miu ran over to Hayato.

Satomi also got up from her seat.

Aya said something irritated to Rin.

I quickly closed my notebook and stood up.

I needed to get out.

Even if only for a little while.

Before anyone noticed that something was wrong with me.

— Yuki?

Hayato turned to me.

— Where are you going?

I gripped the strap of my bag.

— To the bathroom.

— Everything okay?

He looked worried.

That made me feel warm.

But not in the same way as before.

— Yeah, — I answered quickly. — Just a bit stuffy.

He nodded.

— Okay. I’ll be here.

— I’ll be here.

The right words.

Kind.

Reliable.

But in my head, completely different words echoed:

— No more constant meetings.

— No more training.

— No more streams at my place.

I quickly left the classroom.

The corridor was already filled with students.

I had to weave between groups, trying not to meet anyone’s eyes.

Someone was laughing.

Someone was loudly discussing lunch.

A few girls looked at me and whispered about something.

Before, I would have immediately decided they were talking about me.

About my walk.

My clothes.

The way I held my hands.

But Kurosaki-kun had taught me not to stop.

Not to look for a threat in every glance.

I kept walking.

Only today every step felt heavier than usual.

Finally I reached the girls’ bathroom.

I pushed the door.

No one was inside.

Lucky.

I went to the sink and turned on the cold water.

For a few seconds I just watched the transparent stream break against the white ceramic.

Then I cupped my hands.

The water was ice-cold.

I washed my face.

Again.

And only after that did I raise my eyes to the mirror.

A girl I could barely recognize looked back at me.

Neat hairstyle.

Straight posture — even if her shoulders were slightly lowered.

Well-groomed face.

No more desire to hide behind long bangs.

Kurosaki-kun had helped create this Yuki.

No.

He always said it differently.

— I only helped a little.

— You did everything else yourself.

I gripped the edge of the sink.

— Then why…

My voice trembled.

— Why without you do I feel like my old self again?

Of course, there was no answer.

I lowered my head.

Drops of water fell from my chin into the sink.

— Don’t be selfish.

He had already done enough for me.

Saved me.

Taught me.

Supported me.

Helped me reach Hayato.

I had no right to demand more.

No right to keep him beside me just because it was calmer for me.

Kurosaki-kun also had the right to live his own life.

To meet whoever he wanted.

To spend time with Rin.

With Aya.

With anyone.

At this thought my fingers clenched tighter on their own.

— It doesn’t matter to me anyway…

It came out pitiful.

I looked at myself in the mirror.

— I’m supposed to not care.

I have Hayato.

I love him.

This morning I was more sure of it than ever.

But now, right next to this happiness, a strange emptiness had appeared.

As if I had finally gotten what I dreamed of…

And at the same moment lost something I had never considered mine.

I closed my eyes.

— Kurosaki-kun is just an acquaintance.

My heart clenched painfully.

— I can’t…

The words came out almost soundlessly.

At that moment the bathroom door opened.

I sharply straightened up and quickly wiped my face with my hands.

Three girls walked in.

Bright makeup.

Bleached hair.

Shortened skirts.

One of them was holding a new phone.

They stopped when they saw me.

For a few seconds, no one spoke.

Then the girl standing in front slowly smiled.

— Amano Yuki?

A cold shiver ran down my spine.

I didn’t know her.

But she clearly knew me.

— Yeah…

The girls exchanged glances.

The one in front took a step forward.

— We need to talk.

I involuntarily remembered how I was bullied in middle school.

How I used to close myself off, lower my head, and try to become invisible.

Back then I was weak.

Quiet. An easy target.

But now I was different.

I was no longer that Yuki.

— What are you doing here… — I began, trying to keep my voice even.

They didn’t let me finish.

The black-haired girl stepped forward sharply and punched me straight in the side.

The blow was short but very precise.

I exhaled sharply and doubled over from the pain.

A stabbing, dull ache spread through my ribs.

I fell to my knees.

The floor in the school bathroom was cold and dirty.

I heard the lock click behind my back — the blonde with the high ponytail had locked the door from the inside.

The third one, with pink hair, was already standing beside me, silently spinning a new phone in her fingers. Something was already running on the screen.

— Well then, bitch, — the black-haired girl said calmly, looking down at me. — Gotten a bit too full of yourself?

I raised my head.

Black-hair — tall, with long straight hair and a cold, almost indifferent gaze.

Blonde — with a light but dangerous smile and heavy makeup.

Pink-hair — the brightest of the three, with chains, a big keychain shaped like a pig, and a slightly more playful but no less cruel expression.

All three were in cropped school blouses that barely contained their chests and short skirts.

They had too many accessories, chains, and openness even by gyaru standards.

Pink-hair turned the phone screen toward me.

It was me.

My stream. The one where I was wearing the tight clothes Rin had picked out for me back then.

I was saying something to the camera, laughing… and then leaned forward, adjusting something on the table.

The camera clearly showed the neckline of the blouse and how I, without noticing it myself, arched my back.

A chill ran through me.

— Where did you get that…?

— We have everything we need, — Black-hair answered.

Her voice was low and even.

She leaned in slightly.

— You understand that if this video reaches the whole school… you’re done. And your mom-the-teacher too.

I felt everything inside me clench.

— For what?! — it burst out of me.

My voice trembled.

— What did I ever do to you?!

The blonde, without saying a word, took a step and kicked me hard in the back.

I cried out and fell forward, barely managing to put my hands out.

Pain shot through my shoulder blades.

— Shut up, — Pink-hair said calmly, continuing to spin the phone in her fingers.

— You’re a bitch with a huge ass and tits. You think we don’t see how you arch your back in front of guys?

And on top of that you get good grades because your mom’s a teacher. Convenient, isn’t it?

— I study on my own! — I almost shouted, trying to get up on my knees. Tears were already running down my face.

— I’m not…

The blonde kicked me again — this time in the side.

I fell onto my side and started crying for real, sobbing.

My entire school life, everything I had tried so hard to escape from for so long, appeared before my eyes again.

Only now it was worse.

Because before, I was nobody.

And now I already had something to lose.

— Want us to post this video? — Black-hair leaned closer.

— So everyone can see how you arch your back on stream? So Hayato can watch? So your dear mommy finds out what her daughter does after school?

I shook my head.

Tears fell onto the floor.

— No… please… don’t…

— Then do what we say, — Pink-hair said quietly.

There was something almost cheerful in her voice.

— Otherwise tomorrow the whole school will be talking about what a slut you really are.

I lay on the floor, shaking.

My side and back were burning.

There was a lump in my throat.

And then I remembered.

The phone. The emergency button.

Ren gave it to me back then, when he saved me.

A big button in the side menu that I was supposed to press if something really bad happened.

He said: “If it gets really bad — press it. I’ll come.”

My fingers moved on their own into the pocket of my skirt.

I felt the phone, opened the right menu with shaking hands, and quickly pressed it.

My heart was pounding so hard it felt like it would burst out of my chest.

“Ren… please…”

I didn’t know if he would come.

But in that moment, I didn’t care.

I just wanted him to appear.

Even for a second.

Even just so these three would stop looking so confident.

I lay on the floor, shaking from the pain in my side and back. The phone in my pocket was silent.

Ren didn’t come.

And with every second, it became more painful to think about it.

Black-hair looked down at me coldly and said:

— Get on all fours, you perverted slut.

I didn’t move.

Then the blonde kicked me in the side.

I cried out and slowly got up on my hands and knees.

My skirt rode up, but I quickly tried to fix it.

Pink-hair was already filming me with the phone.

The blonde was the first to sit on my back.

She was heavy.

Her weight immediately pressed me to the floor.

— Giddy up, little horse, — she said and slapped me on the butt.

— A perverted slut should know how to give rides.

I clenched my teeth and crawled forward. The floor was cold and dirty. My knees immediately started hurting.

— Faster, — the blonde ordered and slapped me again.

— Or we’ll post the video of you crawling like this right now.

Hayato will be thrilled when he sees what you’re really like.

I started crying, but crawled faster. Tears fell onto the floor.

When the blonde got off, Pink-hair took her place.

She grabbed my hair and yanked my head back.

— Say it to the camera, — she ordered. — “I’m a perverted slut.”

— I… won’t… — I whispered.

Black-hair immediately slapped me across the face. My head jerked.

— Say it, or tomorrow the whole school sees this.

I sobbed and, looking into the camera, quietly said:

— I… I’m a perverted slut…

— Louder, — Pink-hair demanded and pulled my hair harder.

— I’m a perverted slut… — I repeated louder, crying.

They made me crawl in circles around the bathroom while one of them sat on my back.

Every time I slowed down or tried to stop, they hit me on the thighs or back.

They forced me to arch my back harder, lift my head, and look into the camera while saying filthy things about myself.

— Say you have a huge ass and you specifically shake it like that so guys stare, — the blonde ordered.

I stayed silent. Then they hit me again.

— Say it.

— I have… a huge ass… — I exhaled through tears. — And I’m… a perverted slut…

Black-hair was the last to sit on my back.

She was the heaviest.

She grabbed my hair and yanked it sharply.

— Crawl, you perverted slut. And remember: now we have a video of you crawling and begging. If you tell anyone or try to fight back —

we’ll post it. And not just at school. Understood?

— …Understood, — I answered quietly.

She slapped me on the butt.

— Good girl. Now say it one more time. Who are you?

I closed my eyes.

Tears ran down my cheeks.

— I’m… a perverted slut…

They laughed.

And in that moment, I was thinking only one thing.

Ren didn’t come.

He said that now we were just acquaintances.

That he didn’t need to interfere in my relationship with Hayato.

That it was better for us to keep our distance.

He knew something could happen to me.

And he still stepped back.

And now these three were doing whatever they wanted with me, and I couldn’t even call him for help.

Because there was no more help.

I kept crawling forward, breathing heavily under the weight of Black-hair, and quietly cried.

I stayed in the bathroom for a few more minutes.

At first I just stared at the floor.

Then I forced myself to get up.

My legs were shaking, and with every breath a dull pain shot through my side. I went to the sink, turned on the cold water, and washed my face for a long time until it no longer looked like I had been crying.

The traces of tears disappeared.

I managed to hide some of the redness on my cheeks with my hair.

I also fixed my uniform.

Smoothed out my skirt.

Adjusted the collar.

Ran my hands over my blouse several times, as if I could wipe away everything that had just happened along with the wrinkles.

In the mirror stood an almost ordinary Yuki.

Only her eyes remained different.

I tried to straighten up.

Shoulders back.

Chin higher.

Don’t show them.

Nobody should notice.

Especially Hayato.

I didn’t want him to see me like this on the very first day of our relationship.

I didn’t want the happy girl next to him to turn back into the old weak Yuki who couldn’t protect herself again.

I took a deep breath.

My side immediately responded with pain.

I had to clench my teeth.

— Everything’s fine, — I whispered to my reflection.

It didn’t sound convincing.

But there was no other option.

I left the bathroom.

The corridor was almost empty. There wasn’t much time left before the bell, so most students had already returned to their classrooms.

I walked slowly.

Trying not to limp.

Trying not to press my hand to my aching side.

Every step reminded me of what had happened, but I kept walking.

I had to stop in front of the door to our classroom.

I heard a familiar laugh.

Aya.

She was standing in the corridor by the window, animatedly telling something to Kurosaki-kun.

He was leaning against the wall with his shoulder, calmly listening to her.

Sometimes he replied.

Sometimes he smirked.

Aya was talking fast, waving her hands, and then involuntarily poked him in the chest with her finger.

Kurosaki-kun caught her wrist and said something.

She immediately blushed.

But didn’t pull her hand away.

I froze.

He looked completely normal.

Calm.

Relaxed.

As if nothing had happened.

As if a few minutes ago I hadn’t been pressing the button he himself had once given me.

As if he wasn’t waiting for the door to open and for him to appear next to me again.

The phone in my pocket remained silent.

He didn’t notice the signal?

The thought gave me a weak hope.

Maybe the message didn’t go through.

Maybe the button didn’t work.

Maybe…

Kurosaki-kun took out his phone.

Quickly glanced at the screen.

My heart stopped.

He read something for a few seconds.

Then put the phone back in his pocket and continued talking to Aya.

He didn’t even look around.

He didn’t try to find me.

Nothing.

The hope disappeared just as quickly as it had appeared.

So he saw it.

I lowered my gaze.

Probably, that’s how it was supposed to be.

We were just acquaintances now.

He had warned me.

He said he wouldn’t interfere in my life anymore.

I had agreed myself.

Even if I hadn’t managed to finish saying it.

I slowly walked past them.

Aya noticed me first.

— Yuki?

I stopped.

I had to raise my head.

— Why do you look so pale?

— I’m not feeling very well, — I answered.

My voice came out quieter than I wanted.

Aya frowned.

Her gaze quickly went over my face, then my uniform.

She was already about to ask something.

I involuntarily looked at Kurosaki-kun.

He was also standing nearby.

One glance was enough to notice.

He always noticed.

The way I was holding my shoulders.

The way I was averting my eyes.

The way I was clenching my fingers.

The way I was trying to breathe shallowly so as not to disturb the pain in my side.

But right now Kurosaki-kun wasn’t looking at me.

He had opened the chat on his phone and was calmly scrolling through messages.

As if the conversation didn’t concern him at all.

— My head just got a bit dizzy, — I quickly added. — It’s already passed.

— Really? — Aya asked.

— Yeah.

I forced myself to smile.

— Everything’s fine.

Hayato looked out from the classroom.

— Yuki, you’re back!

His voice made something warm stir inside me.

He walked up to me and smiled as usual.

— You took a while. I was already starting to worry.

I waited for him to notice.

At least ask why my eyes were red.

Why I was moving slower.

Why I flinched when he accidentally touched my hand.

But Hayato only lightly took me by the fingers.

— You made it before the bell.

— Yeah…

— Feeling better?

— Already better.

He nodded in relief.

And that was it.

He didn’t notice.

I looked at his kind smile and felt a strange mix of relief and disappointment.

It was good that I didn’t have to explain.

It was good that he didn’t understand.

So why did I want him to understand?

To just look more carefully.

To hold his gaze for at least a few seconds.

To ask one more time.

To not believe the first answer.

Just a little…

I cut the thought short.

At that moment the bell rang.

Students in the corridor hurried to their classrooms.

Aya clicked her tongue.

— We’ll talk later, idiot.

She ran off to her class.

Hayato gently pulled me by the hand.

— Let’s go.

I took a step.

Pain shot through my side again.

For a moment I froze, but Hayato had already turned toward the door and didn’t notice.

Kurosaki-kun walked in last.

His tall figure passed right next to me.

So close that I caught the familiar scent of his perfume.

My heart involuntarily started beating faster.

I raised my head.

I wanted to catch his gaze.

Even for a moment.

But Kurosaki-kun didn’t even look in my direction.

He simply walked past.

Took his seat.

Took out his notebook.

As if I didn’t exist here.

I slowly sat down at my desk.

Hayato was sitting next to me.

Warm.

Kind.

My boyfriend.

And still, I felt like I was alone again.