-3: 125
The moment I headed back into my office building, Anis looked up from the lounge where she was relaxing. Giving me a once over, she raised an eyebrow and said, "Someone looks pleased with himself... Meanwhile, some of use are still sore everywhere. Ugh... How are you even moving?"
"Built different." I shrugged and walked over to kiss her forehead. "You need a massage?"
"Yes please. Do that and I'll forgive you for coming back with another woman's scent on you." After saying that, Anis leaned on the couch, resting on her belly.
I immediately got to work, kneading her tense muscles.
Anis let out a sigh and said, "It's still crazy how strong you are. You do realize that's not human flesh, right?"
I slapped her thigh.
Anis yelped and glared at me. "HEY!"
"Jiggles like real human flesh. I think it counts."
Anis blushed and looked away. "...Stop that. You'll make me want to do it again and I definitely cannot handle that right now."
I laughed and continued massaging her.
Anis let out a content sigh and then murmured, "...I really do love you, Hoopa."
I paused at the unfamiliar title.
Anis glanced back, looking shy. "W-What? I wanted to see how it sounds. I'm always just calling you Commander, but it's weird using it... you know."
"You say that, but Mari unironically only calls me Commander in bed."
"That's because she's shameless, kinky, and definitely a few marbles loose after the corruption."
"Nah." I chuckled and kept massaging her. "It's an inside joke. Mari and I are childhood friends, you see."
"...WHAT?!"
The moment Anis screamed, Rapi came running down from upstairs.
"Anis, what's wrong-? Oh. Hello, Commander." Rapi smiled at me. "Were you just teasing Anis again?" Her eyes flitted towards Anis laying on the sofa and said, "Or were you-"
"Rapi! Commander and Mari are childhood friends!"
"...What?"
At that time, Marian walked downstairs as well. "What's with the commotion, every-"
"Mari!" Anis pointed at Marian and said, "You never told us you were childhood friends with Commander!"
Marian blinked. "I was?" She paused. And then her violet eyes widened before softening with pure love. "Oh. Oh... I am." She turned to look at me, eyes soft with clear affection. Then she walked over and hugged me. "...Jacobian. I thought your real name was funny, but you had to change it to something sillier, huh? I guess you're the one who was insane in the membrane."
Anis froze. Then she screamed. "ARGH! Not fair! You can't just-! Childhood friends and secret backstory is evil! Cheating!"
Marian draped her arms around me and said, "Sorry, Anis. But it was meant to be. Right? ...Commander?"
I smiled and turned around to kiss Marian. "I would definitely call it destiny at this point, Marian. Or should I say, 'Mary Anne.' I knew there was a reason I wanted to call you Mari."
Marian giggled. "Well... My memories were fuzzy too, okay?"
Rapi looked between me and Marian. Then she said, "...I take it that everything you told us when we met at that first mission is inaccurate then?"
I nodded. "Pops did some digging. Found old yearbook pictures. Long story short, me and Mari were both at the military academy. She died to protect me and was turned into a Nikke. I had memory loss. By chance, we were on the same squad together and didn't know who we were. And now we're here."
Anis gave me a blank stare. Then she said, "...Definitely not fair."
I gently pulled Marian's arms off and then went back to massaging Anis. "Don't worry, Anis. Just because I love Mari more doesn't mean I love you less. Besides." I kissed her neck. "Who else would I tease like this?"
"Ugh. You're the worst, Commander. You are soooo lucky I love you too much to stop now."
"Sunk cost fallacy, I know. But." I gently kissed her neck. "I'll make it worth it. Reel you back in right when you're about to leave."
Anis let out an exasperated sigh, although her eyes were filled with love. "You aren't even hiding that you're a womanizer anymore, are you?"
"You could always leave."
"...You know I'd never." Anis nipped my chin. "Bastard. Love you though."
Rapi chuckled. "Yes. Commander has that effect on all of us."
I went back to massaging Anis while I looked over at Rapi. "I'm amazed you're genuinely fine with all this. Do you really not care about quality time?"
"Hm?" Rapi tilted her head and smiled. "Why would I need quality time with you when I know that I occupy your mind all the time with how often you check in with me?"
Anis gasped. "Is THAT why you're always checking your phone, Commander?!"
"Well, partially. It's also because of Indi. But yeah, I text Rapi a lot. Why?"
Anis stared at Rapi.
Rapi looked triumphant.
Anis huffed. "...Whatever."
"Oh, Commander." Rapi looked at me.
I looked back. "Yeah?"
"I wanted to inform you that I went for a health checkup with Sophia earlier."
I froze.
Anis tensed.
Marian's eyes widened.
"No." Anis quietly said, "No, no, no."
Rapi held up a pregnancy stick with a clear mark on it. "It seems that the cycle differs per Nikke. But congratulations, Commander. You're a father twice over now."
"HOW?!" Anis pushed me off and jumped to her feet. "I get Marian, but how are YOU pregnant?!"
Rapi looked smug and said, "My body is very malleable. It's a gift from Red Hood apparently." She patted her belly and said, "Since I wanted a baby, my body said yes."
Marian let out a happy scream and ran over to hug Rapi. "We can be pregnancy buddies!"
"Yes." Rapi chuckled. "We can try terrible recipes together and see which tastes the best."
"And we can knit small booties too!"
"And practice putting on diapers."
"And pumping milk!"
Rapi paused. "...Can we even make milk?"
"I mean, I've been lactating a bit... so yes?"
"Huh."
Anis looked at me.
I looked at her.
And then Anis lunged at me and said, "COMMANDER! BABY! ME! NOOOOOW!"
At that time, the doors slammed open and Neon's voice echoed. "Firepower! The great Nova Neon has arrived and-" She paused when she saw Anis all over me and trying to take off my belt. "...Should I come back?"
Anis looked at Neon and pointed at Rapi. "Rapi's pregnant!"
"Oh!" Neon smiled. "Congratulations, Rapi!"
Rapi looked smug. "Thank you, Neon."
Anis crossed her arms and said, "It's not fair! Just because I have a normal body I can't get pregnant?!"
"Huh? Of course you can!" Neon laughed. "Syuen and Maxwell made the Womb Force 9000. You can get it installed in an hour or so if you want? Syuen's embarrassed about it, but it definitely works! That's how Yuni and Mihara are pregnant!"
I froze.
Anis paused.
Marian genuinely looked concerned. "...I beg your pardon?"
"Yep!" Neon nodded. "There's been a lot of people who had the procedure already, so it definitely works! It also makes people feel better since you get your cycles again! Well, kind of better. I guess it makes you feel more 'human' again? I wouldn't know since I don't have it."
I started to sweat and said, "Neon. Who exactly has had the procedure?"
"Oh! Um... I forget everyone, but I think Guilty, this Nikke named Sin, Ark Ranger Black, Maxwell, Rose... That's all I remember seeing when I went to visit the lab."
My eye twitched.
Neon smiled. "Why did you want to know, Commander?"
"Ah. Karma's a bitch." I laughed. "Well. Guess I'll just wait and see, huh?"
At that time, the door slammed open again. And the moment it did, a blue blur rushed to grab me.
"Commander!"
I looked down to see Shifty hugging me tight, her eyes red from crying.
"Shifty?" I gently held her back. "Hey? What's wrong?"
"Everything! You! Me! Baby!"
"...Of course."
Shifty buried her face against mine chest and screamed, "Take responsibility!"
"Obviously." I kissed her forehead. "Did you think I was going to run away?"
Shifty froze. "...Really?" She looked up at me. "...You aren't just going to use me? A-And you aren't joking?"
"What do you take me for?"
Anis immediately spoke up. "A ladykiller."
Neon chimed in. "A scumbag!"
Rapi nodded. "A womanizer."
Marian giggled and said, "A babymaking machine~"
"..."
Shifty looked into my eyes, genuinely anxious.
Seeing that, I gently cupped her cheeks and said, "Hey. Shifty. Relax."
"E-Easy for you to say! I'm just... me! What do I do? I don't have family, you know? A-And I'm just a normal human! If something goes wrong then-!"
"Everything will go right. And I'll handle everything."
"...Really?"
"Really." I kissed her forehead. "Besides. You do have family. Us."
Shifty's breath hitched. Then she punched my ribs.
*CRACK*
"What the fu-" I coughed, feeling genuine pain from the sheer force of the blow.
Shifty huffed and said, "Serves you right, Meanie. But... thanks."
I rubbed my side, wincing at his ginger it felt. And the burn. "...You're welcome. But are you really human?"
"Of course I am!" Shifty looked genuinely upset and said, "What else would I even be?!"
Anis stared at me tenderly holding my ribs. Then she slowly turned to give Shifty a blank stare.
Shifty noticed and said, "What?"
"Nothing. Also." Anis looked back at Neon. "...Tell me more about that procedure, Neon."
"Oh! It's not very complicated. It's not like a surgery. You just get a shot."
I gasped and said, "THAT'S IT?!"
"Well, of course, Master!" Neon laughed. "A Nikke's body isn't too hard to modify, you know? It's just that it has to line up with what the brain expects or else the Nikke will have mental dissonance. Adding back in the babymaking bits actually brings performance up! Apparently. I dunno since I didn't do it."
Rapi nodded sagely. "I do feel stronger... It must be the maternal instincts."
Marian hummed, idly rubbing her belly. "I suppose that's true..."
"Anyway!" Neon looked at me and said, "Master! I have great news!"
"...Don't tell me you're pregnant too?"
"What? Of course not!" Neon laughed. "Don't be silly! The great news is that I WAS a spy! You see, in my past life, I was the Pope of the V.T.C.!"
A long silence filled the air.
I waited for Neon to say she was kidding.
Rapi, Marian, and Anis seemed to be waiting for the other shoe to drop too.
But Neon wasn't kidding.
Seeing that, I composed myself and said, "Neon. Start from the top. What exactly do you mean?"
"Well. It's a bit of a long story... but basically, I'm the result of a sad girl from the Outer Rim who met a princess. Although they were from different worlds, they became best friends. And at their deathbeds, all they wanted was for the other to be happy and live on. But neither wish was completely granted. Instead, both were partially granted, making me! Neon! Someone who lived as both, but is currently neither!"
"...Okay." I slowly turned to Anis. "Anis. Love of my life. My bias, oshi, and the woman I stan with everything I am. PLEASE tell me you don't ALSO have a hidden identity and backstory where you were secretly someone else this entire time."
Anis blinked. Then she gave me a serious look and said, "Don't worry, Commander. I'm Anis, and only Anis. Heck, my name's the same as my human one, you know? If you look at my old pictures as a human, I look the same too. I haven't changed a bit, to be honest. Well, I guess maybe my boobs are a bit bigger, but that's about it."
"Oh thank god." I sighed. "Small miracles... Wait." I looked at Neon, finally processing what she said. "...You said you were one half the Pope of the V.T.C.... Does that mean you have their tech, Neon?"
"Yeeep~!"
"...You are the best little sister I never asked for and I love you dearly."
"Aw! You're the best big brother I never had too, Master!"