Trick or Treat
“Remind me, how did we end up hosting a halloween party?” I collapsed into the sofa next to Deyha, and fell sideways over her lap.
“It's for your benefit,” Deyha shrugged. “I have the strangest feeling that you are once again going to find compelling reasons not to leave the farm for thanksgiving, christmas, or new years, so the party is coming to you, for better or worse.”
I squinted up at Deyha. “I might make new years plans, but it’s not like I’m going to leave my family for the holidays. If you want to travel, I'll suck it up and come along.”
“Huh. I might hold you to that.” Deyha rested her hand on my belly. “This time next year definitely won't be a good time to travel.”
I covered her hand with mine. “Such is life. Now you know yet another reason I was so keen on putting down roots.”
“To stay inside?”
“Precisely.” I sat up stretched “How many supernatural folks did you manage to rope into this anyways? Did Aiden actually agree?”
“Mmm, not Aiden specifically. He couldn’t justify the cross country trip.”
“Because it's soooo hard to control which waffle haus you exit.”
“No, because the building doesn’t fold people through space, silly. And besides, he is going trick-or-treating with his wife and kid. Still, we will have a vampire in attendance. Or, well, half of one.”
“Right. Carmen? Or is it Carmilla?”
Deyha chuckled, “You’ll see. Mazer’s extended family is all coming too, so there will be no shortage of socializing to do.”
“How are we doing on operation non-hostile takeover?” I wasn't subtle about snuggling up to Deyha and finally the desired back rubs began.
“Carolyn thinks I’m bullshitting her about Mazer’s interest, Mikah is struggling to convince Mazer to just ask. The war rages on.”
“Ugh! Why is this so hard?”
“It will actually be super easy, barely an inconvenience.”
“Oh? Really?”
“Mhmm. I'm going to go over Carolyn’s head and formally invite him to move to the farm. I’ll lay out the whole nine yards too, land ownership, stake in the clinic, renovations and accomodations—“ her voice took on an italian tinge “I'll make him an offer he can’t refuse.”
“And if he does?”
Deyha shrugged. “I'll politely ask him to detail his reservations and conscript Carolyn into addressing them directly. She won't enjoy it, but I have faith that we can reach common ground.”
“That simple?”
“Mhmm.”
“Soooo are we just springing that the moment he arrives? Or?”
“No, I think the first order of business will be a quick contract write up to pause your lactation. Then we can get on to the fun stuff.”
“Oh! Do we have the first crystal delivery ready?”
“Yep, Carolyn’s holding onto it.”
“Good, good.” I relaxed into Deyha once more. I could tell some guests were arriving, but I was fully prepared to not be a perfect host.
“Where is Carolyn anyways?”
“Working~” I could hear the chagrin in Deyha’s tone. “Whatever it is she’s doing, she's playing it unnervingly close to the chest. It's definitely not Ellen’s mods, and she wouldn’t be like this for Rose so… I’m trying not to worry.”
“Should I go bother her? Drag her back kicking and screaming?”
“Be my guest.” Deyha helped me out of her lap. “Tell her that her mad science can wait.”
“I’ll quote you on that.” I made my way to the clinic. Dark had just fallen, so I figured we might be able to expect our vampire friend before too long.
I flicked the light switch for the main hallway of the clinic, and then tried it a couple more times. Just checking over my shoulder I could tell that the farm still had power, but the clinic was completely dark. I took out my phone and switched on the crude flashlight.
I was tempted to just check the breakers through the farm management app, but I wasn’t about to risk applying power where it shouldn’t be. The magnetic locks separating the patient area from the lab had gone dormant with the power loss, so it was a matter of muscle to move the heavy wooden doors far enough to slip past.
Predictably, Carolyn’s lab still had power, and I tugged at the door.
I wished I could see through the window, but the only impression I got of what could be going on was the odd flicker of light cast on the far wall.
I knocked and there was a sharp bang followed by sizzling and cursing. Finally, the familiar rolling wheels approached the door and Carolyn opened the door a crack.
“Oh~ hi Maddie.” She blew a strand of hard out of her face. “What brings you here?”
“It's dark out, guests will arrive soon. Deyha says the mad science can wait.”
“Guests? Oh, Halloween. Fuck, I forgot…” it was becoming suspicious that Carolyn was holding her arms out of sight, on top of the very obvious body-blocking and skittishness.
“What are you up to?”
I tried to keep my voice casual as I pushed on the door.
“It’s really nothing, you don’t need to worry—“
“I might not be able to push past you, but I bet Deyha can.”
Something went cold in Carolyn’s gaze and her eyes narrowed.
“So,” I continued, “You can either open the door and loop me into your shenanigans, or you can make your best attempt at cleaning up before I return with Deyha.”
“Or I could subdue you.”
The threat was unmistakable, yet there was a sort of thrill in her phrasing, as though even that option wouldn’t be wholly unpleasant for either of us.
“Or you could subdue me~” I shrugged and flicked the bell on my collar, “but Deyha did send me specifically to fetch you so I’m not sure how long you have if I don’t send an all-clear.”
“You text Deyha, hand me your phone, and then I’ll let you in.”
I shook my head. “I’ll buy you as much time as you need, but I’m keeping my phone. It’s up to you to actually convince me you’re being safe.”
Carolyn scoffed, but she eased back from the doorway. “Your timing is awful.”
The door also opened and she wheeled back a couple inches. The first thing I noticed was the redecoration she had done. The apparatus in the middle of the room would have been right at home in a modern Frankenstein retelling, and there was even more alarming red tinge to the tile.
“Is that—“
“Blood, my blood. Several weeks worth of pints stashed for this express purpose.” Carolyn knelt at the edge of the oddly precise pentacle and carefully lifted a hammer off. She spent a few seconds dabbing at the lines with a fingertip before straightening.
In this light I could see the other thing she’d been hiding. Spiderweb-like gold threads wound around her forearms, lacing between her fingers and up to her elbows.
“If you’re going to help, please don’t smudge the circle. If you’re going to try to stop me…”
I shook my head. “I’m not going to sabotage weeks of prep work on a gut impulse, but I am going to need a little more to go on before…” I trailed off and gestured vaguely at the contraption. “That.”
“You’re not going to like it.”
“That ship sailed. Spill.”
“You know how you've been filling a crystal to pay back Mazer?”
I didn’t bother responding, and just motioned for her to get on with it.
“I’ve been redirecting some of that mana storage for private use, most of it actually… You'd already nearly maxed out two crystals before you filled this one.”
She paused as if waiting for me to get indignant or upset but I just folded my arms. “What is all of this?”
“I’m doing a bone marrow transplant.”
“Okay…”
“Specifically, I’m replacing the marrow in my forearms with crystal. I've… already done my hands, they were simple, but this requires more mass and… well, just more in general.
“Why are you doing this?”
“Please don’t forget to text Deyha, but to answer your question… ambition? Unchecked and unpunished hubris? Do you suppose that Icarus would stop ascending if his wings didn’t burn?”
“Don’t wax poetic on me.” I rolled my eyes and sent a quick text to Deyha. “You have fifteen minutes.”
“I think I only need seven. And… thanks.”
“Don’t thank me yet. You haven’t scared me into blowing the operation but you sure as hell haven’t saved your ass from the doghouse when this is done. Why the secrecy?”
“Deyha told me not to do it.”
“How could this possibly be so important that you’d refuse her?”
“The worst part is… it's not. Nobody needs me to do this. Mazer is capable, reliable, and altogether sufficient, but… it boils my blood to push against a glass ceiling. This—“ she gestured at the device, “is how I break through.”
“New condition, promise you’ll invite Mazer to the farm. Like, to live here.”
“Uh… what?”
“I'll endorse whatever crackpot plan you have for ascension to— I don’t know, some fucked up sort of sorcerer, but only if you accept oversight.”
“He might force me to revert it—“
“Or he might help! Jesus Fucking Christ just promise and we can get back to your goddamn bloodsports.”
“Okay, okay. I… promise.”
I was tempted to make her repeat it, to swear on something in particular, but honestly, even with all of this it didn’t feel fair to insult her with the implication that her word wasn’t enough.
I checked my phone. “You have fourteen minutes left.”
“Right. Uh, this goes here…” she muttered to herself as she fit a cylinder of purple powder to the top of the machine. She shook out her arms and then settled into the seat behind the contraption. “Assume it’s going to plan unless I say otherwise, you’re about to see some serious shit.”
I tried not to be alarmed by that as she tapped a button and lasers danced across the floor. Acrid smoke hit my nose as the rings of drying blood were turned into neat lines of ash, and as the laser show ended, light began to bend. The platform where she was holding her arms desaturated, darkening and losing color as the area steadily turned into some sort of 3D xray scan. It was like her arms had been stripped to the bone, but I took some small comfort in the twitch of her fingers as she adjusted. With this view I could see a bit of the changes to her hands, the bones there were more solid than her forearms, distinctly a different material.
Carolyn counted under her breath and then the apparatus above the bubble kicked in. I could only describe it as an extruder, because it was clear that its only purpose was to project a stream of crystal out of the evil looking tip. The machine reached into the void, tapping directly on Carolyn’s bones as though doing some sort of alignment, before pressing through. The tip whizzed around in a familiar way, exactly like the 3d printers I was so familiar with, and strand by strand the bones of her forearms began to resemble the already opaque finger bones.
True to her word, the process was stupidly fast, and I had plenty of time to snap a couple pictures, adjust the camera settings and then set up a disturbing little timelapse of the second arm being printed.
The printer played a distorted little jingle as the needle retracted completely. Carolyn wasted no time kicking her shoe across one of the lines of ash, and once the line was broken the nope zone collapsed and the flesh of her arms returned..
“How many more times are you wanting to do that?” I reached out to feel her arms as she offered them for inspection. They were cold to the touch, but Carolyn didn’t flinch as I squeezed.
“I do still need some human marrow but… I want to go further.”
“How far is far enough?”
“How high did Icarus fly before his wings melted?”
“No.” I dropped her arms. “Crashing and burning is off the table. I swear I will shoot you out of the proverbial sky to keep you from flying beyond my reach.”
“Agressive, but weirdly romantic.” Carolyn muttered. “I love you too.”
“Shut up.” I muttered and pulled her into a hug. “Now go shake Mazer’s hand so I can be sure you aren't going to die.”
“Okay, okay. I should really clean this up before Deyha sees though.”
“Sees what?” I held up my phone. “These pictures of you doing dangerous scary shit that I sent her as soon as you finished?”
Carolyn’s eyes widened and she smirked. “That sounds complicit, my dear.”
“I never said I wouldn’t join you in the dog house.”
Lights flickered on in the hall and I tried not to feel dread and guilt as familiar footsteps stomped toward us.
“Someone reset the breakers…” Carolyn mused moments before the door of the lab swung open, banging loudly against the wall as it protested the sudden force. “Hey Deyha.”
“Next time I tell you no~” Deyha growled through clenched teeth. “Remind me of this moment.”
I tried to step out of the way but she caught my shoulder, easily stopping me in my tracks. Her other hand already held a fist full of Carolyn's coat..
“The moment you caught me breaking your trust?” Carolyn had the audacity to put her hands on her hips, even as Deyha’s hand tightened and rose to graze her chin.
Deyha closed her eyes and took a steadying breath. “Are you okay? Did everything go according to your plan?”
“Yeah, I’m fine.”
“Are you even sorry?”
“For exercising my bodily autonomy? What do you think?” Carolyn smirked up, and I felt the instinctive fear response for her as Deyha continued to stare her down.
“What am I going to do with you?”
“Love me? Cherish me? Till death do we part?”
Deyha fully held her off the ground now, and Carolyn held onto Deyha's fist as her shoes skimmed the tile.
“There she goes waxing poetic again.” I forced a laugh as I tried to lighten the mood. “She’s been awfully fixated on the story of Icarus and discerning what point is too close to the sun.”
“Is that so?” Deyha’s tone was almost conversational, but her hand tightened on my shoulder, betraying her frustration.
“She also thought it was very romantic when I threatened to blow her out of the proverbial sky to keep her within reach.”
“Gods,” Deyha mumbled “If I could break your legs just for one day…” her eyes trailed down as though genuinely considering it.
“Whew~” Carolyn chuckled, “only you could make grievous bodily harm sound sexy.”
“You drive me crazy, you know that?”
“It’s a short trip, we could save the gas and just walk.”
“Good idea.” Before Carolyn could react Deyha had her up on her shoulder
“Put me down!” Carolyn protested, and I watched with amusement as she pummeled Deyha’s back to no effect.
“I will.” Deyha answered simply and I got an inkling of her intentions as she made her way to the physical therapy area.
“Wait, wait!” Carolyn renewed her protest as I skipped forward to open the door to the pool room.
“I’m listening.” Deyha paused at the edge of the pool, and Carolyn stilled as if finally aware of her precarious situation.
“You can’t. The pool—“
“Times up.” Deyha spoke over her and lifted Carolyn off her shoulder, practically shotputting her as Carolyn’s arms pinwheeled. The air time was almost as impressive as the splash. Deyha and I watched as she struggled to get her bearings and cough up water.
“You. BITCH!” Her voice was shrill, but much like a soaked cat, the threatening effect was well and totally spoiled.
“Feel better?” I looked up at Deyha, ignoring Carolyn now that I was sure she wouldn’t drown.
“A little.”
“My turn then.” I held out my arms.
“Your turn? You want to get dunked?”
“Hell no. The water is probably cold as hell, but I made my choices.”
“You’re certain you aren’t just eager to get tossed like a sack of clover?”
“I’d be lying if I said the visual didn’t have a certain appeal but—“
Before I could react, Deyha pushed me sideways into the pool— narrowly missing Carolyn in my flailing descent.
“Come on!” I protested. “Why does Carolyn get thrown and I just get pushed again.”
Deyha knelt by the edge. “Because, my dear, getting dunked is not a reward.”
She held her hand out, but just as I reached to take it she stood. “I’d better get back to the party.”
“G-get back here.” Carolyn was already shivering as she climbed up the ladder.
I climbed out after her, but I didn’t bother calling after Deyha. As far as I could tell we’d gotten off easy, and there was likely significant further reckoning.
“That was cruel.” I mumbled as I accepted a towel from Carolyn.
“I know right? The water is freezing!”
“No, you were cruel to Deyha.”
“Oh come on, no harm no fowl~”
“Major fowl.” I insisted. “Gigantic thanksgiving fowl. Why didn't you at least try to apologize?"
“I… I did nothing wrong.”
“You went behind her back—“ I counted on my fingers, “engaged in witchcraft alone, lied, coerced me into helping, and just… you fucking taunted her? You looked the love of your life in the face and called her crazy. How does that even balance out?”
“I… she—“
“She lied, for years. I get that it hurt you, but you hurt her right back, are you trying to push her away?”
“I’m not!”
“And you’re going to tell me this isnt some fucked up tit for tat?”
“No! Of course not!”
“Then screw your ego for one goddamn moment before you take another sledgehammer to the foundations of our family.”
I began walking, not caring about drips as I looked for Deyha. Somehow, I doubted the ‘back to the party’ excuse. But I didn't have any clues to go on. She’d been weirdly quick getting out of sight.
I closed the door to the pool behind me, trying to listen for some indication of footsteps receding, but I could still only hear Carolyn’s shoes squeaking up from the other side of the door.
I tugged it back open to let her pass, but I didn’t follow after her. There had to be some other clue.
On a whim, I headed away from the party, out the side exit of the clinic and into the cold night air. A chorus of bugs were singing their own rasping calls, and I might have found it comforting just about any other time than now.
“Please don't go wandering off into the fields.”
Deyha’s voice scared me half to death. She was sitting on a bench next to the door, and I’d swear that I looked there, but evidently not hard enough.
“Fuck~” I resisted the urge to accuse her of startling me. “Hey Deyha. Is there room on the bench for one more?”
“Would it matter if I said there wasn’t?”
“I… I can give you space.”
“No~” Deyha sighed. “Come on over, sit. Is Carolyn coming?”
“No, she might actually expect to find you in the barn.”
“Huh. But you saw through that ruse.” Deyha wrapped an arm around my shoulder over the towel. And I fidgeted to extract my phone from my pocket.
The screen still lit up, and I decided that was good enough for the moment.
“I’m sorry.”
“Why?” Deyha held me closer, and I could tell I was soaking through her shirt by the growing warmth.
“Why did I do it? Or why am I sorry?”
“Both I suppose.”
I took a deep breath and tried not to shake as I let it out. Deyha rubbed my back and I felt less deserving than ever of her affections.
“When I found Carolyn, she was just about to get started. I threatened to go get you, and she threatened to subdue me. The best way I saw from there to keep everyone safe was to just… let her proceed. She’s spent weeks preparing for this, and it's not even the first time she's done it.”
“Fucking hell…” Deyha mumbled.
“Did you watch the video? It’s kinda impressive. The nope-zone looks like it could be particularly useful for all sorts of stuff.”
“Not a bad name for it… and yeah, I know what she’s doing… I helped her the first time.”
I shifted to squint up at her. “And neither of you told me?”
Deyha shrugged. “It didn't seem note-worthy beforehand, and when the results were lackluster it seemed like a pointless venture. I said it was a bust, she said maybe she needed to go further, larger. And I said no… I don't think she ever promised to stop though. These last few weeks, I’ve left her to her devices, foolishly assuming she was just trying to get results out of what she had already done, there wasn't even that much left of the original crystal, but… no. She was automating me out of the equation.”
“Automating you?”
“There wasn't a printer before. I did the procedure for her hands manually.”
I rolled my eyes. “Real simple procedure, huh.”
“Yeah… not terribly different from operating a welding gun, though— I can see you were being sarcastic.”
“A little.” I leaned into her. “None of this is cash money. Just… what the fuck?”
“Well, as you can see, you didn’t have anything to be sorry for.”
“No~” I bumped her shoulder with one of my horns. “We aren’t keeping score. You sent me to collect Carolyn, and I made my choices. I never wanted to hurt you, but I understood that as a consequence of… that. Willfull, but resigned. I hope pushing me into a pool again at least made you feel better.”
“Eh.” Deyha shrugged. “It got a bit of tension out. It felt like balance, but the proverbial scales are on the floor.”
“We have to fix that.”
“Yeah… yeah.”
My phone buzzed on the bench next to me. “Carolyn’s calling.”
“Tell her nobody’s home.”
Instead I answered it on speaker phone. “Hey babe.”
“Where are you?”
“I won the game of hide and seek. Deyha and I are out beside the clinic.”
“You found her? Good. Tell her—“
“You’re on speaker phone.” Deyha chimed in.
“Tell her,” Carolyn repeated, “I'm sorry. I was wrong, and… I’m a silly lizard.”
“Sorry, I didn't catch that last bit,” I could hear the poorly disguised mirth in Deyha’s tone.
“I said… Damn it, don’t make me say it again.”
Deyha held a finger over her lips and she pulled out her phone to bring up the voice recorder.
“Im waiting~” she taunted her and then hit record.
“I… I’m sorry. While I maintain that I was safe in my execution, It was… wrong of me to keep you out of… I mean it is my body but—“
“Awful lot of qualifying statements.”
Deyha started a new voice recording and I held my phone so it was pointed as directly as possible at hers. Carolyn’s sigh of resignation blew out the microphone.
“I’m a silly lizard.” Carolyn grumbled.
“Perfect.” Deyha played the recording back and there was silence on the phone for a couple seconds as the betrayal sank in.
“Delete that.”
“No.”
“Please?”
Deyha played the recording again.
“It’s illegal to record my voice without my consent.”
“Sue me.” Deyha played it again.
“Fine! Stop! Stop!” Carolyn pleaded. “If anyone hears that, I’m telling them it was AI.”
“And they would probably believe you, but this is just our secret, you’re our silly little egomaniac lizard.”
“Don’t start tacking on modifiers.”
“Too late.” Deyha exported the voice file and sent it to our group text, then I watched as she uploaded it to cloud storage as well.
“I don’t deserve this.” Carolyn whined. “Maddieeee this is so much worse than just setting my ego aside~”
“I made no guarantees that it would be comfortable. The true joy of debasing yourself comes with repetition.”
“Yeah, no. You enjoy your bottoming, I will retain the shreds of my dignity, thank you.”
“I’d expect no less from a dragon ascendant.” Deyha chuckled. “Do remember us lowly mortals as you toy with powers beyond our comprehension.”
“You mock me… I suppose I deserve that.”
“By the way, any changes? Or was the megalomania secretly always there?”
“Funny. I won’t know for a while, hell, I’m not sure I’ll be able to define what ‘success’ is for this whole endeavor for some time, but… I’m fine.”
“Good. Now go get a second opinion from Mazer.”
“Yeah, yeah.” Carolyn grumbled. “That’s my first stop once I have dry clothes. Maddie already bullied me into that agreement.”
“Really? Nicely done.” Deyha squeezed my shoulder.
“Can you believe she’s forcing me to invite him to the farm, as oversight? To effectively be my superior in my own fucking clinic?”
“I didn’t say he had to be your superior.” I argued.
“No, that sounds like a good plan.” Deyha stood up and shook her shirt loose where I’d caused it to soak through. “Let me know how that goes.”
“This smacks of conspiracy.” Carolyn grumbled.
“Well… yeah?” Deyha adopted the same tone that Carolyn so loved to use for me when I was slow on the uptake.
“Wait, genuinely? Did you seriously—“
Deyha tapped the red button on my phone. “That felt good. Cathartic. Though I’m certain we shouldn’t make a habit of poking the silly lizard.”
“Please, please don’t.”
The phone rang again but before I could accept the call Deyha took my phone and declined it.
“Have you had any issues with this phone since the convention?” She turned it over in her hands.
“I… uh, no?”
“Hmm. Pity it's water-damaged now.”
Before I could object, Deyha snapped it in half.
“Hey!”
“Relax, Carolyn already bought you a new one.”
“I— I don't care about that! It’s so much easier to transfer to a new device when the old one is working!”
“Oh.”
The two halves were still hanging on by a few wires, but white smoke began pouring out of the fissure. Deyha didn’t seem bothered. She tossed it onto the gravel parking lot and kicked a bit of dust onto it before giving up and just taking a step back.
“Do we need to find you something to break?”
“Maybe…”
“Maybe~” I mocked her, “Give me a break…”