Chapter 4
Getting into the door to take on service is the easy part; they make it sound like you are going to be a rock star, no sweat, in the door, rocking and rolling in no time. Little do they tell you the path is not as cut and dry as all that. Like why do they have to look at my butthole? Duck walking, the shit is this? And staying in a hotel with dozens, if not hundreds, of other high testosterone, amped up, teenage idiots. Yeah, I know I’m not that old in the scheme of things, but even I found the 18 somethings insufferable. However, a couple months later, all was said and done and I was on my way.
It was an early Summer morning in August when I showed up to the Petoskey Recruiting Station with nothing but a suitcase. The week before my Stepfather and Mother helped me come clear out my apartment. It was an odd realization, seeing all my worldly possessions condensed into two 64 gallon totes. I sold my bed, couch, and all my furniture; I had no need for it, and my parents didn’t want it. It felt like the end of one life, and the beginning of another – shedding my skin.
As I sat there on the small blue bench by myself, I remember having the thought, “What if this was a bad choice?”
But what choice did I have? I had no prospects here, and while my family was local, I wanted a life for myself. I was on a dead end road to nowhere at this point. I shook that thought off. No, I was making the right choice, and it was my choice – it was do or die. I refused to die.
Slowly more and more people showed up; many folks younger than me, but even a few that looked much, much older. One woman walked over and took the seat next to me, sitting her large, bulging backpack on the ground.
She couldn’t have been younger than her early 40’s. Her sandy blonde hair was a bit greasy, her clothing looked like something she scrounged up from a rummage sale, and she smelled like Nico-Vape juice, a pungeant, overwhelming odor. I remember being told that Nico-Vape was derived from a plant called tobacco, which was once used in things called cigarettes. However, as a result of embargos, and subsequent environmental fallout from WWIII, paper was a premium product that few could afford. Wood was still used to make various products, but the scarcity saw things like paper disappear almost overnight. So now, everyone smoked out of small tubes full of various chemical mixtures, and the stronger the smell the more potent the chemical inside.
She took out a Vape, taking a deep drag from chemical stick. I eyed her warily, as smoking was never my thing. The smell of it reminded me of… well, not so good times.
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She noted me staring at the Vape, and after taking a drag, held it toward me.
“Want a hit?” She asked, her voice much softer than I figured given the way she looked. I noted there was a haunted, almost vacant look in her eyes.
I waved it away, “No thanks, its not my thing.”
“Suit yourself.” She said, shrugging followed by another drag. The silence dragged on for a few moments, then she looked over to me.
“Blue blood, eh? What service did you join?”
“The Air Force, yourself?”
She nodded thoughtfully, taking another puff, before putting away the Vape in some inside pocket I couldn’t see.
“You do look the type. Tall, broody, decent lookin’.” She said with a laugh that turned into a phlegmy, deep cough. She spat on the ground.
“Army here. Second time. Susan's the name!” She extended a hand toward me.
I stared at her with a bit of shock. Second time? You could join more than once? I gently shook her hand.
“Nice to meet you.” I replied in as polite a tone as I could muster.
She must have noticed the wide eyed look I had given her, and she grinned sheepishly and looked at her hands.
“Ah, I forgot, you're new. Yeah, second time. Sometimes life… gets in the way, you know? I didn’t have much choice after the first time; not many places have use for someone with… uh, my skills. Just felt like it was callin’ me back. I know you don’t get what I’m sayin’, just… Make good choices while you're in. Give yourself an out. I didn’t, and so I’m back.”
I nodded, sort of grasping what she was getting at, though not really comprehending. “Any other advice?”
She started flex the fingers of her hands suddenly, almost like she was grasping at something. I wondered what was going through her head, as a bit of sadness crept into those eyes. She almost looked like she had forgotten for a moment where she was, or what she was doing. Suddenly, she looked directly at me, an intensity on her face that wasn’t there mere seconds ago.
“No matter what you do kid, don’t trust everything they say. I… I don’t know why, just… take it all with a grain of salt.”
With that, she picked up her bag, stood, and walked away to sit under a small tree next to the building alone. I saw her going back to watching her hands, again grasping like something was there.
I sat for a moment, watching her. It was such an odd response. Who was they? Everyone? What did that mean? As I sat mulling over her words, the E-bus pulled up, and we piled in.