Chapter 114: Counterweight
After the ten minutes, Nathan felt the weight of his body dropping.
The wounds, with the new bandages and the applied herbs, hurt less. But the combat fatigue was still there. The accumulated blood loss. The emergency manifestation that had spent more HP than he'd been able to replenish. And the day's emotional weight.
Nathan closed his eyes for a moment.
And at that moment, Liaraen spoke.
With a calm voice.
"Nathan."
"Yes."
"There's something I've been thinking about since you started using the scythe."
Nathan opened his eyes.
"Go ahead."
"When Yorel asked for your surrender. And you listed the three reasons why you weren't going to accept. I observed something that caught my attention."
"What?"
"Over the past months, when you've killed creatures, you've done it with a kind of practical improvisation. You see the threat, respond to the threat, eliminate the threat. But with Yorel it was different. You made the decision to kill him before he proposed surrender. You processed the arguments for rejecting surrender before hearing them. And you articulated them with the calm of someone who had finished the analysis before the conversation began."
Nathan looked at her.
"Yes."
"Nathan. When did you decide to kill him?"
Nathan thought about it.
Honestly.
And then he spoke.
"When I discovered the dagger. When I understood that he'd faked everything. When I processed that he'd planned for twenty years. When I saw that the phrase 'it wasn't my choice' was a ritual formula and not an expression of helplessness. That's when I decided."
"So approximately five minutes before the execution."
"Yes."
"And during those five minutes, while you were still collapsing, you processed the arguments."
"Yes."
"Nathan."
"Yes."
"That's a capability I didn't know you had."
"I didn't know I had it either."
"Does it worry you?"
Nathan thought about it.
For nearly a full minute.
Then he spoke honestly.
"Yes. It worries me. Because until now I thought I was the kind of person who kills when there's no other option. Reactive. Not proactive. And today I discovered I'm capable of being proactive when the decision is correct. And that changes how I understand myself."
"In what sense?"
"In the sense that now I know that next time I'm in a situation where the rational decision is to kill, I'm going to be able to make it with the calibrated calm I made today. Without hesitating. Without the emotional weight that should hold me back to verify the decision is correct. And that can lead me to make execution decisions I'll later regret."
"Nathan."
"Yes."
"That's a valid concern. And it's the reason you're going to need me close over the coming years."
"For what?"
"So that when you make an execution decision, I can verify it with you first. So that when you enter the mode I saw today, there's someone to ask you if the decision is correct and not just fast. So that you don't become an executor without a counterweight."
Nathan looked at her.
For a full moment.
Then he nodded.
"Alright, Sprout."
"Alright."
"You're going to be my counterweight."
"I'm going to be it."
"I appreciate it."
"I appreciate it too."
Silence again.
The fire kept crackling. The flames had reduced slightly. Nathan felt sleep beginning to descend on him with the specific force of accumulated exhaustion.
Liaraen noticed.
"Nathan. Sleep."
"Sprout. I have to take watch."
"I'll take the first watch. You sleep four hours. Then I'll wake you and you take the next four while I sleep. Tomorrow we continue to Greywall."
"Can you stay awake four hours with the wounds you have?"
"I can. Mine are less serious than yours. And the lineage sword gives me a resilience boost I normally don't have. Two hours of sleep with that is enough for me to function tomorrow."
Nathan looked at her.
Without arguing.
Trusting.
"Alright."
Liaraen helped him lie down on the grass beside the trunk. She placed the small provision bag as a pillow under Nathan's head. Covered his body with the travel cloak from the luggage.
And before moving away to take watch position on the other side of the fire, she crouched.
She placed her right hand on his forehead.
For approximately three seconds.
And said to him with a calm voice.
"Nathan."
"Yes."
"Rest. Tomorrow we continue."
Nathan nodded.
He closed his eyes.
And during the seconds before sleep fully took him, he thought, with the calm clarity of someone who'd had the worst day of his life and had found at the end the calm he'd been searching for.
Sprout.
You chose well with me.
I chose well with you too.
Let's go.
He fell asleep.
---
Liaraen took position on the other side of the fire.
Sitting against another trunk. With the lineage sword sheathed and resting beside her right leg. With the stream flowing in the background. And with her pale green eyes scanning the clearing's edge periodically with the calibrated attention of someone who had internally decided that as long as she was awake, no one was going to approach Nathan without paying the price for the attempt.
During the first two hours, nothing happened.
The forest remained silent. The horse rested. The fire's flames dropped to red embers that Liaraen maintained with small additions of firewood when they began to cool.
And Liaraen, with the calibrated calm of the recent hours, began to process.
Not the fight.
She'd already partially processed the fight during the walk.
She processed what Nathan had said at the end.
Next time I'm in a situation where the rational decision is to kill, I'm going to be able to make it with the calibrated calm I made today.
Liaraen thought about it.
For approximately a full hour.
While the fire crackled and Nathan breathed regularly on the other side of the clearing.
And she reached a silent conclusion she didn't yet share with Nathan because it wasn't the moment, but which was going to guide the decisions she made over the coming months.
Nathan doesn't yet know what he's capable of with this Class.
Today was a small sample. The scythe. The planned execution. The controlled lethal mode.
In the coming years, when he grows to the levels Kalen predicted, the capability is going to amplify. And if there's no one to keep him anchored to the correct decision, he's going to become something Draken would approve of.
I'm not going to allow that to happen.
I'm going to be the anchor.
It's part of the guardianship. More important than learning the human world. More important than the search for Aelinne. More important than any diplomatic objective of House Sael'thoryn.
Nathan Voss needs a counterweight. And I decided weeks ago, without yet articulating it, that I was going to be it.
Alright.
Confirmed.
Liaraen looked at Nathan sleeping on the other side of the fire.
With the calm of someone who had made an internal decision and wasn't going to change it.
And she continued the watch.
Until, approximately two hours later, when the mental clock of the major elven house's daughter told her the shift had passed, she stood up.
She approached Nathan.
She touched his shoulder carefully.
"Nathan."
Nathan opened his eyes.
"Sprout?"
"Your watch. I sleep two hours. Then we resume the road to Greywall at dawn."
Nathan nodded.
He sat up slowly. With the bandages still in place. With the wounds hurting less than four hours ago. With his head less heavy.
He stood up.
He took the position beside the trunk where Liaraen had been.
And Liaraen lay down in the place where Nathan had slept. With the travel cloak covering her body. With the lineage sword within reach of her right hand.
Nathan looked at her.
With calibrated calm.
And while she fell asleep, he took the watch for the second half of the night.
With the fire crackling.
With the forest silent.
And with the silent thought that tomorrow they were going to continue toward Greywall, they were going to report to Selene, they were going to process over the coming months, and they were going to continue with the work.
Together.
As the mutual choice both had made without knowing exactly when they'd made it.
And which at the end of day forty-seven since the Seal's activation, with a settlement erased from the map behind them and the road to Greywall ahead, was the only thing that had complete meaning.
