Chapter 219: She Doesn’t Want to See You
Kitahara Kaede didn’t even stop to give Jiraiya an explanation. He vanished instantly, activating the Body Flicker Technique.
Jiraiya’s brow furrowed deeply. He watched the direction where Kaede had disappeared and let out a heavy sigh, muttering under his breath, "This kid has really stirred up a disaster this time."
Atop the rooftops, Kaede’s figure blurred through the twilight, moving at breakneck speed.
Given Tsunade’s pride and her uncompromising nature, seeing that scene would undoubtedly make her feel completely betrayed. She wouldn’t demand answers; instead, she would suppress every emotion, choosing to suffer and process the pain alone.
That was what made this situation so dangerous.
Kaede grit his teeth and pushed himself to go even faster.
At Konoha Hospital, Kaede charged straight toward Tsunade’s office. Without so much as a knock, he slammed the door open.
The person inside jumped at the sudden intrusion, nearly dropping the documents in her hand.
"Kaede?" Nonou stared at him, stunned.
Kaede was breathing heavily, his eyes frantically scanning the room. There was no sign of that blonde figure.
"Is Lady Tsunade back at the hospital?" he pressed, skipping all formalities.
Nonou shook her head, looking bewildered. "Lady Tsunade?" She glanced at the patient charts she was organizing and then back at Kaede. "I only just came in to drop off today’s ward reports. Has she already returned to the village?"
Kaede swallowed hard. He didn’t ask further; he simply nodded and turned to leave.
Nonou frowned as she watched his retreating back. In all the time she had known him, she had never seen Kaede so reckless. Normally, he was the picture of composure and calm, regardless of the situation. But now, the boy’s breathing was ragged, and he radiated a palpable sense of agitation.
After leaving the hospital, Kaede headed straight for Tsunade’s home. He stood before the door, forcing his breathing to steady before knocking.
*Knock, knock.*
No response.
*Knock, knock.*
Still nothing.
He looked down at the doorknob. Under the porch light, he could see a thin layer of dust on the handle—the kind that only accumulates when no one has touched it for days.
She hadn’t gone home.
Kaede turned and walked away.
The twilight of Konoha had fully faded into night. He stood in the center of a crossroads, surrounded by the bustling noise of the crowd. Everything seemed exactly the same as always, yet Kaede felt an unprecedented sense of disorientation.
If she wasn’t at the hospital or at home, where would she go?
He forced himself to calm down, slowly untangling his chaotic thoughts. Tsunade didn’t have many people in the village she truly opened up to. Aside from himself, there were probably only two people she trusted implicitly.
One was Jiraiya, but she would never go to him for something like this. The other was Kushina—one of Tsunade’s few close friends in Konoha.
With that thought, Kaede activated the Body Flicker Technique once more.
Lights were on at Kushina’s residence. He hurried to the door and knocked urgently.
The door opened quickly. Kushina, holding a dessert in one hand, froze when she saw Kaede standing there.
"Kaede? What are you doing here at this hour?" She looked behind him and glanced left and right. "Looking for Minato? He’s still at the Hokage building and hasn’t come back yet. If it’s urgent, you should go to the—"
"Kushina-nee, is Lady Tsunade here?" Kaede interrupted her, his words coming out in a rush.
Kushina raised an eyebrow, scanning Kaede from head to toe. "Tsunade? No, isn’t she out of the village?" She paused, her eyes narrowing. "Also, why on earth do you look like such a wreck?"
She immediately sensed that something was wrong. Kushina lowered her voice, her tone laced with suspicion. "Based on that reaction... did you two have a fight?"
Before she could finish, Kaede had already taken a step back.
"Thanks. I’ll keep looking." He left her with those words and vanished into the night.
***
Kushina stood frozen, completely forgetting the dessert in her hand. Watching Kaede’s retreating figure, she muttered to herself, "By the looks of it, something really bad happened."
Kaede found himself back at the crossroads. This time, he didn’t run to another location because he simply couldn’t imagine anywhere else she would be. She wasn’t at the hospital, her home, or Kushina’s.
She was avoiding him.
The realization made his heart sink.
Kaede’s gaze drifted aimlessly over his surroundings until his eyes locked onto something. There was the ninja tool shop on the corner where Tsunade had bought him some things once. Though he had later lost them, she had huffed, telling him he was far too scatterbrained.
Across from it was the BBQ restaurant she always dragged him to whenever she couldn’t decide what to eat. In truth, she took him there because she knew he loved a specific dish on the menu.
And then there was the bank of the Naka River. The day she had stood on her tiptoes to kiss his forehead. She had told him she was waiting for his answer. Her eyes had been full of light back then.
And now, he had personally extinguished that light.
Kaede closed his eyes, his mind flooded with images of Tsunade. Every time he returned from a mission, she would act annoyed, but her eyes would scan him from head to toe, only relaxing once she was sure he was uninjured.
Whenever he made up a flimsy excuse to leave the village, she knew the reason was strange, but she never questioned him—simply because she trusted him.
She had taken off the First Hokage’s necklace to wear the Blue Fluorite one. She maintained her aloof facade, but whenever he drew close, the corners of her eyes would soften.
That preference, that tenderness... it had been real. He could feel how much she liked him. She liked him for who he was.
And he felt the same.
Kaede looked down at his hands. ’I owe her an explanation,’ he whispered, his voice so low only he could hear it. ’Even if it means exposing the truth about Pakura’s memories, I’ll accept the consequences.’
The next morning, Kaede stood in the corridor of Konoha Hospital. He was certain Tsunade would come. Given her sense of responsibility, no matter how much she was hurting, she would never abandon her duties at the hospital. He just had to wait here, and he would eventually find her.
Footsteps echoed from the end of the hall. Kaede looked up, but it wasn’t Tsunade; it was Nonou.
Nonou stopped when she saw him. She paused for a moment, then sighed and walked toward him. "Kaede, how long have you been waiting?"
Kaede didn’t answer. "Has Lady Tsunade arrived?"
Nonou fell silent for a moment, her expression becoming complex. She looked at Kaede and lowered her voice. "Lady Tsunade... she did come."
Kaede’s eyes lit up instantly. But Nonou’s next words caused his expression to freeze.
"But Kaede, her state today is... truly terrible." Nonou sighed, her voice tinged with pity. "She reeks of alcohol, and her eyes are bloodshot, as if she hasn’t slept all night. When I arrived, she was speaking to the doctor on duty at the office door. She was in such a state that the doctor was too terrified to even answer her loudly."
Kaede’s heart tightened painfully.
Nonou looked at him, her voice dropping even lower. "Also, Lady Tsunade... she asked me to give you a message."
"What is it?" Kaede asked immediately.
Nonou pursed her lips before finally speaking. "She said that, right now, she doesn’t want to see you."
The corridor suddenly fell into a heavy silence. Kaede’s body stiffened. After a long moment, he slowly found his voice.
"I understand."
Kaede nodded, his voice sounding dry and hollow. Nonou could tell that his outward calm was a fragile mask.
Kaede turned and began walking toward the hospital exit. To Nonou, it felt as though every step he took was burdened with an unbearable weight.