Chapter 40: To Be Feared.
I stood where the Arbiter had been. Crystal shards glittered around my bare feet. The air still hummed. A hum that almost matched the thing burning inside me. I had broken something again.
The silence was filled by something I knew well. There was one expression people had always made when I'd showed them what I was. Humans. Elves. Dwarves. Beastkin. Lizardfolk. They had always borne the same expression, one that cut across their differences. It was a mix of fear and awe. The fear came from seeing something dangerous, almost beyond comprehension. The awe came from finding the beauty in it anyway.
I had seen it a thousand times before. Ten thousand. A hundred thousand. It had long since stopped being interesting. These expressions stared back at me now, and I noticed them as I rarely had before. My hands clenched tight. Too tight. A Demon Queen was supposed to revel in these gazes. I wanted them to look at anything else.
The Inker recovered first. He rose from the floor where the shockwave had put him, brushing crystal dust from his robes with trembling hands. His face twisted when he found me. "What did you do, half-demon?" He stared at the empty space where the pillar had stood. His voice cracked as it rose, and in the silence, it filled the hall. "Clearly this measurement is compromised. The Arbiter must have been-"
"In forty-one years," the Archon said, "I have seen only one Arbiter ever crack." The old man had not raised his voice. He stood at the rear with his hands clasped. "I had thought that was as far as they could go." He said, slowly approaching. "I never imagined I would see one shatter entirely. It will need to be inspected. This one has been here since the founding of this Academy, perhaps age has worn away at it. But for now, well done."
The Inker’s mouth opened and closed. He slowly nodded to himself. “That’s right…it was just…old. Had to be…no way a half-”
The Archon did not look at him. "Lysanthia," the Archon said. "Follow me. I wish to speak with you privately."
Ash stepped forward before I could move. She was already between me and the hall, and now she’d taken one step towards the Archon. "She is not going alone."
The Archon regarded her. His face didn’t so much as twitch. "I only wish to speak with her."
Ash's jaw set. "It is no sin to be beyond measurement. I will not let you-"
"You misunderstand, child." His voice was gentle. "She is not in any trouble. I simply wish to speak with her. That is all. You have my word that nothing will happen to her."
Ash looked back at me. I held her gaze for a moment, then nodded. "I will be fine." I said, though I did not believe it. Ash looked stricken. Slowly, she stepped out of the way. Perhaps she wasn’t entirely a fool.
I moved toward the door. It was still quiet. Every face in the hall turned as I passed. I had seen those eyes before. My gaze found the demonbloods, the dozen or so I saw. They were easy to pick out. They looked terrified. Something in my chest ached. I did not examine it.
Ren stood near the main door. I had seen her seated last. When she had stepped here, I did not know. I moved past her. "Why the hell do you look like that?" Ren asked. Her voice was quiet, which might have been the first time I had heard it so low.
I stopped and looked at her. "You wanted me to prove myself, did you not?"
The words came out with something in them that did not match. Ren opened her mouth. I did not wait for what followed. I stepped through the door and into the corridor, where the Archon was already walking
The walk was silent. The Archon moved at a measured pace, his hands clasped behind his back. I followed two steps behind and let my mind do what it had always done. In my head, I ran through two scenarios. The two likely outcomes. The first: this man was going to kill me. He had the power. I had just revealed myself as a threat that could not be measured. Eliminating threats before they grew was a simple and effective strategy. I would have done it myself.
The second: he was going to bind me, in some fashion. This Consecration had always been a leash with a long lead. Now that he had seen what I could do, the leash would tighten.
Either option seemed likely and both were familiar. Isabelle's voice found me unbidden. The payment will come. It always comes. It was a good thing that my face hadn’t betrayed me in front of Ash.
Occasionally we would walk past students. There were many of them -people who obviously hadn’t been there at the measuring. They glanced at me, glanced at the Archon, and then were the picture of civility. They had not looked at me so when I had been on my own.
We arrived in that familiar hallway. The Archon opened the door to his study and stepped inside. I followed. The room was as I remembered it. A room too small for the power this old man so obviously had. I waited. The Archon moved around his desk. He opened a drawer. He came back to me. This was it. It was going to be some device that-
He had a pair of bracers. Mirrors to the one I already wore, if I was not mistaken. He held them out. I stared at them. Stared at him. "Have you not looked at your own hands?" he asked.
I looked down. My marks were flickering, slowly. Black and white bled through the red and green disguise, surfacing and retreating and surfacing again. I had not looked.
"My apologies for the haste," the Archon said. "I wished to remove you from that hall before anyone else noticed. I do not believe they did. Your display was a rather…apt distraction, even if it did overwhelm the first pair. For now, it seems your secret holds."
I took off the old bracers. It was as simple as drawing all the power away from my arms, and then they fell away. I took the new bracers and fitted them. Red and green once again perfectly hid Black and White. "Is this why you brought me here?" I asked.
The Archon looked at me. Then he shook his head. I braced myself. "The bracers were meant to be enough," he said, slowly. He moved to the window, clasping his hands behind his back. "I had expected you to be extraordinary, with two Sovereigns. That was the purpose of Consecration. I had expected a result that would impress, perhaps shock. Something that justified my investment."
He looked out at the Academy grounds below. Students crossed the yard in their grey uniforms. "I had not expected what you showed me." He turned back. There was something in his expression I had not seen on this man's face before. It was neither fear nor anything else I could have named. Only that it was a strange expression on someone with power.
"I will try to contain what happened today within these walls," he said. "I will spread word that the Arbiter was malfunctioning and overdue for replacement. I will say that your result was excellent, but the crystal was already compromised." He paused. "I am afraid it will not hold for long. There are people who will hear of this. People even I will have trouble dealing with."
"Do you truly believe that story will do anything?" I asked. Why was he making this nonsensical offer at all?
"Perhaps not. But at the very least, it may buy you time."
"Time for what?"
"To grow stronger. You should have had years. After that…I fear even a year may be optimistic. You may only have months. Use them wisely." He looked at me. “There is a resonance chamber, one that only the Crests are allowed to use. One that I use myself. Being a resonance chamber is perhaps just…a small part of what it is, but it is a good training ground. You may use it. I believe you might be able to handle the strain. You may bring your friend. When you wish to use it, come to me. Before that, you should try the classes we offer. Perhaps those will be enough to get to Sigil.” He looked at me with an intensity that might have made someone else squirm. “Your goal should be to advance to the Crest, and quickly. It is…asking for much, but it might be possible. For you.”
I studied him. Every instinct I possessed told me this was the moment the price was named. I knew I should not ask. I should not tell the hunter that the prey knew it was being stalked. I asked anyway. "Just what do you want from me in return?” I demanded. “Unless you are giving all of this out of the goodness of your heart."
"No," the Archon said. "I am not." He said it quickly, as if it required no thought at all.
"What, then?"
The Archon was quiet for a long time. He looked out the window again, at the grounds, at the students below. When he spoke, his voice was low. "I have buried too many students who looked like you." It was perhaps the single answer I had least expected. I had demanded it, and now I did not know what to do with it. I said nothing.
The Archon turned around. "May I?" the Archon asked. "I wish to see what kind of Essence Core could have done what I witnessed in that hall. It is academic curiosity."
I hesitated. Slowly, reluctantly, I extended my hand. The Archon moved forward and took it. Something heavy flowed inside me. He closed his eyes. It lasted two seconds. The Archon took a step back. He stared at me. "How?" he asked.
"It seems many people will be asking me that." I had never understood the question. What answer did they all expect?
He shook his head. "That is not what I mean." His voice had changed. "How are you enduring that?" I did not smile. I did not answer. The thing inside me hummed and ached. The Archon held my gaze for a moment longer, then turned away. "You are free to go." Just as he said it, a great bell rang. It was loud even here.
The Archon paused and something lighter crossed his face. "You might want to find the mess hall. If you cannot locate it, just ask a student or two." I looked at him for one more moment. Then I left without another word.
I had half expected Ash to be waiting right outside the door. She was not, and I had looked. Where had that fool Hero gone? Perhaps I would go to this mess hall after all. It was her who should come to me. A retainer did not simply vanish when her Queen had need of her. Why was she not already here? I would go to the mess hall then. I was not annoyed, that was beneath me.
It was a simple plan, one that was immediately made more complicated. Every hallway looked like the last. The same stone, the same looking doors, the occasional portrait of someone supposedly important. I turned corners absently, and this led me through passages I had not seen before. I was certain that Ren had shown me these places, though what she had said about them, I could not say.
I received many looks during my wandering. I could tell who had been in the measuring hall and who had not. The ones who cowered as I passed -who pressed against the walls or changed direction mid-stride- those ones had heard or been there. The ones who merely glared, those ones hadn't. How would this ratio change in the near future, I wonder?
Three wrong turns led me to a courtyard. Two students sat on a bench near the entrance. They looked at my horns, my eyes, the grey uniform. Their gazes lingered a beat too long before they looked away. I could have asked them for directions. The words were simple. Where is the mess hall? They were just five words. A child could manage them.
I walked past them. More wrong turns followed. I walked up a staircase that led to a locked door. I walked down a corridor that looped back on itself in a way I was almost certain was designed as a cruel joke. I passed more students, each of whom gave me some variation of the same two looks. The same whispers they thought I could not hear.
I turned a corner and collided with someone small. The impact was nothing to me. The boy hit the stone floor with a yelp, his papers scattering in a white fan across the corridor. He was slight, with dark hair that fell over his eyes and the tiniest nubs of bone rising from his temples.
I thought I had seen him before, though the where and when of it remained a mystery. Not that it mattered. "Watch where you are going," I said. My voice came out sharp.
The boy scrambled backward on his hands, his eyes wide. "S-sorry! I'm sorry, I didn't- I wasn't looking, I just-" He was gathering his papers with shaking hands, shoving them into a messy pile against his chest.
I watched this display. A thought occurred to me. It was a distasteful thought, but the alternative was wandering these identical corridors until I expired of old age or starvation, whichever came first.
"Boy." He froze. "The mess hall. Where is it?"
He stared up at me. His mouth moved twice before sound came. "T-the- you go past the arch, the big one with the carvings, and then- no wait, from here you'd need to go left first, past the second stairwell, not the first one because that goes to the- and then right at the portrait of the man with the dog- and then s-straight until you see the double doors, they're always open at mealtimes, second door on the right past the arch, you can't miss it because it smells like-"
I closed my eyes. The directions were a mess, but they were still directions. I memorized them slowly. I opened my eyes. "Thank-"
The corridor was empty. The boy's footsteps were already fading around the far corner. I only had time to see his back before he turned out of sight.
The mess hall was, blessedly, far less loud than it had been last time. Even the large queue near the front was now only a handful of humans. I glanced around, and did not see Ash. I crushed the feeling that came. I saw the line again and moved to join it. Whispers followed me here too. There were very few of those fearful looks here.
I took a tray. The woman behind the counter gave me stew, and bread. It seemed they did not only offer porridge. I would remember that. I turned and surveyed the hall. Most tables were full. I needed somewhere to sit. I chose the third table, because it had the most space.
I sat down, set the satchel beside me on the bench between myself and the wall, and began to eat. The stew was acceptable. I had certainly had better. The bread was dense. Not quite hard enough to kill, but closer than I thought bread should be. The stew had a sweetness I had not expected. I was halfway through when a shadow fell across my tray.
"You're sitting in our spot." I did not turn. "Hey. I'm talking to you."
I took another bite of the bread. A girl slid onto the bench across from me. She had auburn hair pulled back tight. A Sigil on her left arm branched in a bright blue pattern. Two more girls flanked her. They only had Lines.
"Hey, you must be stupid," the lead girl said. Her smile did not reach her eyes. "You must not know how things work around here. This table is ours. You’re not even a Sigil. So why don't you take your little tray and those horns and find somewhere more…appropriate for your kind?"
I ate my stew. It really was not as good as Martha's. "Did you not hear me?" The girl leaned forward. "Or are those horns blocking your ears?" One of the flanking girls snickered.
"You’re the new little Consecrated, aren’t you? The one who calls herself Lysanthia," the girl continued, her voice dropping just enough to carry to half the table. "I heard about your little testing today. Some of those commons are saying you broke the Arbiter?" She snorted. "There must have been some kind of trick. There's no way a filthy half-demon could-"
I ate. She said many more things, and none of them were worth more attention than the stew. At some point, she gave her name. It was Lena Eckhart. She said it with great emphasis. It meant nothing to me, though I believe Ren had mentioned the name to me before. Just where was Ash?
I had seen this before. For all of the girl’s pomp, for all of the other’s snickering, I could see the fear plainly. It sat behind her eyes. It lived in the set of her shoulders and the way her fingers pressed too hard against the table. A thousand years could pass, the System could fall and the Gods could look away, and still the pattern held. I did not think this was fear of me, exactly. That did not make it any less unpleasant.
Lena read my silence as defiance. "You're just like that wretch. Fine," she said. "Think you're above us, don't you? You stupid half-demon bitch you think you can-" Her gaze snagged on the satchel beside me. "What's in the bag?" I did not answer. Lena's hand moved. She reached across the bench and seized the strap. Everything stopped.
The Requiem answered before I called it. Black flame bloomed from my right hand. The air around my hand warped. The wood of the table beneath my palm greyed and cracked. Lena's hand was still on the strap. Her face had gone white. The two flanking girls had taken a step back. "Remove your hand," I said. My voice was low and quiet. “Or lose it. You may choose. I have given a choice.”
I was aware, distantly, of every eye in the hall. I was aware that the Archon was trying to hide me. I was aware that what I was doing was not hiding. I did not care.
“You think you can threaten me?” The girl hissed. Her entire body crackled with lightning. It raced on her skin, until her entire body was glowing. The Sigil on her arm was blazing. Behind her, the other girls were stepping forward too.
Then a column of flame struck the air between Lena and I. The dining hall went silent. "What the hell do you think you're doing to her?!"
Ren stood at the end of the table. Her right arm was still extended, her Sigil was blazing too. Her red hair was wild and her eyes were wider. She stepped forward. Placed herself between the three girls and me. I stared at the back of her head.
A girl with a crooked collar and soot covered nose had just stepped between me and the world.