34. Do you feel disgusted at me now, Nova?
With Thrasher and Blaze dead, a few moments of silence fell into the forest as it got quiet, leaving only the sound of rustling leaves coming from the wind and occasional cries of animals to be heard.
Alicia stood up on her feet, staring down at Thrasher's shriveled corpse as a bitter feeling of hatred remained within her heart. Her face distorted into something evil-looking.
But she quickly shook herself out of her emotions and looked towards her son, who was standing before her, beaten and bloodied.
His eyes, however, were burning with rage while he gripped his dagger tightly with his right hand.
Yet he didn't say anything; instead, he just lowered his head, avoiding eye contact with his mother.
"Do you feel disgusted at me now, Nova? Why are you looking down?" Alicia questioned him as she stepped towards him and grabbed his chin.
She forced him to raise his head and look right into her eyes. "I bet you must be thinking your wife is a dirty whore. Someone who gave her body up without putting up any resistance... I bet you're furious at me, right?"
"..."
Nova didn't answer.
He just stared back at her with his blue eyes full of hatred, anger, and sadness.
He gritted his teeth hard and clenched his fists tightly, but he didn't open his mouth.
He couldn't bring himself to do it... to speak, to utter any word to her.
The moment he saw how she was getting fucked by the man earlier, something inside his mind snapped.
All he could feel was fury towards them and towards his own helplessness.
If he had arrived earlier, then maybe he could've prevented her from going through that shameful state... maybe he could've saved her from humiliation...
If only... If only he had been stronger!
Strong enough to protect her and kill everyone who threatened her safety.
However, in the end, he had to see the one woman he loved the most getting fucked mercilessly and degradingly by his enemies, and he did nothing... absolutely nothing to save her.
Instead, she was the one who saved herself... He didn't help her at all!
She saved herself, she avenged herself, and she killed him on her own!
And now, standing before him, Alicia was asking if he was disgusted with her actions, if he was angry at her for selling herself out like that.
Nova didn't understand this at all!
Why would she even ask such a question?
She shouldn't be asking something like that...
Everything she did was for her survival... for herself...
Why should he judge her for it?
She did what she had to do... and he couldn't even do that!
That was right. Nova was mad at himself.
For not being able to help her, for letting her suffer alone... for being so weak...
Tears began welling up in his eyes as he turned his head sideways, away from her, refusing to look at her.
"Hey..." She gently called out to him, cupping his cheeks with her hands and forcing him to look back into her eyes, "Why are you crying? Is this because of your injuries? Let Mommy take care of that right away..."
Before Nova could respond, she put a hand on his chest and began treating his wounds.
Her energy flowed through his body and healed his wounds at an astonishing rate.
Soon, his broken ribs returned back to normal, his muscles repaired themselves, and his bruises and scratches disappeared in moments as if nothing had ever happened to him.
However, this didn't cheer him up at all.
If anything, he felt even worse!
Now it felt like he couldn't even do anything... nothing except watch her take care of his every need.
That fact itself was frustrating him! He wanted to take care of her; he wanted to protect her.
But here he was, relying on his mother instead of the other way around. It pissed him off to no end.
"I'm sorry for not saving you earlier, Mom..." He apologized with a trembling voice and tears dripping from his eyes, "I... I don't know how to look at you in the eyes anymore... I feel like a failure. I could have done so much more for you..."
Alicia couldn't believe her ears.
She thought it was because of her he was getting upset.
Yet this foolish boy was apologizing for not being strong enough to protect her.
It wasn't his fault... Not hers either.
They were in this situation because they were forced into it by some unknown higher power.
They had been living a normal life for years until suddenly, one day, they appeared in this foreign world filled with all sorts of creatures and magic.
And before they could understand anything, try to learn and understand their surroundings, they were put into dangerous situations again and again.
The two of them had been put against these situations they hadn't known a single thing about.
They had been struggling to stay alive against a group of goblins.
Then, just as they were planning to go to the town to learn everything they could, they were ambushed again, forced to run away, only to get into another dangerous situation.
It wasn't their fault.
They didn't ask for this.
All they could do was do their best to survive this nightmare.
So why?
Why should she allow her son to get burdened with these feelings?
How could she let him blame himself when none of it was his fault?
No.
"I'm sorry for having put you on the spot like this... Nova." Alicia suddenly whispered into Nova's ears as she pulled him into an embrace, "I wasn't thinking straight. I'm sorry..."
Nova shook his head in response. "No, I—"
But before Nova could say anything more, she shushed him softly.
"Don't speak. It doesn't matter how we got into this situation or what happened. All that matters is that we are alive and safe. And that's all that matters now. Don't ever blame yourself for not being able to do something... If we can't change it, then we should just accept it as is."
Read my new story. My Messy Life with Stepmom and Stepsister