The Butterfly Manifesto

On the evening Catherine and I agreed to meet, I snuck away from Hitchcock Hall earlier than usual. I was immediately struck by how much dingier Antonio's was than I remembered. The interior was dark wood, with the only windows being narrow and cloudy. There was a stench of cigarettes in the air, and several stains on the floor. It was more noticeable since all of the tables were empty, and it certainly wasn’t as quaint as I remembered from Matthew’s memories. It must have been renovated at some point in the 2000s, but in 1999 it was in rough shape.

Still, at least it was private, and I was able to sit at our regular booth. Well, Matthew’s regular booth. The only movement was some light clattering in the kitchen and my driver Robert at a table near the front door, quietly sipping a coffee. I was aimlessly tapping the table with my fork when I heard the entrance open, with Catherine quickly walking through looking slightly frazzled. I noticed Robert do a quick assessment as the waitress greeted her and guided her to my table. Both of us mirrored wide grins as we laughed and hugged each other.

“Oh my god, Maya, it’s so good to see you!” Catherine cried.

“You too, Cat,” I replied as we broke our hug. “Were you able to find the place all right?”

Catherine puffed out her cheeks. “It was the first time I ever took the Brown Line, and I guess I wasn’t expecting to be dropped off in such a rough neighborhood.”

“I’m sorry,” I said as we slid into the booth. “I should have picked you up.”

Catherine gave a confused look. “Pick me up? No, it’s fine. Though I am wondering why you wanted to come to this place. It’s kind of…sketchy?”

I twisted my lips. “Oh, some guy said that it had the best pizza in the city. I thought it would be fun to check out a place away from campus.”

Catherine wrinkled her nose and glanced around the empty dining area. “Well, maybe the food is really good. Why are we the only people here?”

I swallowed. “Well, not the only ones,” I gestured at Robert.

“I guess,” replied Catherine with a glance in his direction. “Anyway, can you believe we’re finally in Chicago? We finally made it here!”

I nodded. “I’ve been waiting years to get out of Minnesota.”

“Oh, you don’t mean that. It may not be that exciting, but Minnesota will always be home!”

“You know what I mean. It’s the next chapter, or something. We’re Chicagoans now!”

“Absolutely,” Catherine smiled. “Well, let’s put in our order.”

“Way ahead of you,” I waved off. “I put in a deep dish, half sausage and half pepperoni.”

“Oh…uh, okay! I don’t think I’ve ever had a Chicago-style pizza before.”

“Trust me, it’ll be your new favorite,” I assured her.

The two of us went back and forth, talking about the ins and outs of our respective schools. Catherine mentioned she was considering pursuing an art history degree—the degree that she ended up receiving in Matthew’s timeline. She always told him that she regretted a humanities degree, since it held her back in her later career as an operations manager. It was a degree she never put to use.

“You should consider a business degree,” I advised as we sipped our Cokes. “I’m going the economics route at UChicago myself.”

“That makes sense. You were always good at money-stuff.” She shrugged. “But I dunno. There’s just something magical about the Renaissance. And I really like my classes so far.”

“Maybe,” I replied. “But just because your grandfather’s trust is paying your tuition doesn’t mean that you shouldn’t take your future career seriously.”

Catherine stared blankly at me. “How did you know about my trust?”

My breath caught for a moment. “You…must have told me before,” I offered.

“I never told anyone that. My parents said not to hold it over anyone that I had a free ride to college.”

“It’s not a big deal,” I responded, clearing my throat. “Oh, look, the pizza’s coming!”

Catherine raised her eyebrow at me as we heard the waitress walk toward us with our tray. It was eerie, since her footsteps echoed across the empty floor. As she set it down on the table, it looked slightly burnt with splotches of uncooked oil across the top. As she cut and placed our pieces on our plates, I noted that this wasn’t even close to what I remembered. Both of us poked the undercooked cheese jutting out from the layers of sauce. One bite from each of us confirmed that the pizza was practically inedible.

“This is disgusting,” muttered Catherine.

“I didn't think that it would be—”

Before I could agree with her, there was a muffled buzzing that started in my purse next to me. Catherine stared at the bag as if it had come to life, and with a grimace I pulled out my chrome Nokia, which continued loudly vibrating at me. I didn’t even bother checking who was calling and quickly turned it off before slamming it back inside.

Catherine was gawking at me. “Is that…a portable phone? How do you have one of those? Those things are thousands of dollars!” Her voice raised enough that even Robert looked over from his table.

I raised my hands in defense. “Catherine, please let me explain.”

She crossed her arms uncomfortably across her chest, taking a deep breath. “Okay.”

“You know I’ve always been good with money. Well, years ago Dad let me make some investments. Good ones. Really good ones. And this whole time they’ve been profiting.”

“That’s impossible. We lived on the same street for years! Your parents aren’t rich!”

I started wringing my hands, trying to stop myself from shaking. “I-i-it wasn’t actual money. I was just moving around numbers. I n-never had access to anything before I turned eighteen. And now…it’s mine. My parents don’t even know about it.”

Catherine huffed. “You’ve had money this whole time? Secret money you’ve been keeping from me? This is like you being in a rock band for a year. How much money do you have?”

I felt my eyes wet as my lip quivered. “A lot,” I finally whispered.

She gestured to the empty restaurant. “Is that why this place is empty? Did you, like, buy this entire restaurant? To show off?”

“No! I wasn’t trying to show off! I just…wanted to see you. You are my best friend after all.”

Catherine buried her face in her hands. “This is a lot, Maya. I…I just don’t know what to say. All summer you’ve just been pretending to be poor, while all of this money comes out of nowhere?”

“It didn’t come from nowhere,” I snapped. “It was harder than you could possibly know. And my hard work paid for my tuition. I didn’t have money from a rich grandfather to pay for college.”

“Again, how did you know about that!?” Catherine shouted, standing up and slapping the table.

“Ms. Brown, is everything alright?” Catherine jumped, not realizing Robert was suddenly next to us.

I took a deep breath, cursing myself for lashing out. “Everything’s fine, Robert. Catherine, I didn’t mean—”

She shook her head, her dark hair swinging wildly. “Does he work for you? This is crazy. I have to go. This is too weird,” she said, grabbing her jacket and her things.

“Catherine…I’m sorry. Please don’t tell anyone about this. Especially my parents. I’m…not ready to tell anyone.”

Catherine shut her eyes, exhaling. “Were you even planning on telling me tonight?”

I didn’t respond.

Robert stepped aside, and Catherine hurried outside, not looking back at me. She was gone moments later.

In a moment of clarity, I realized Catherine was alone at night in Chicago. “Make sure my friend gets to the station safely, please,” I ordered Robert. He nodded and quickly exited, leaving me alone with a greasy pizza and my thoughts.

I collapsed back in my seat at the table that was Matthew and Catherine’s most treasured spot in Chicago. In another universe. Catherine had left her glass mug on the table before she disappeared into the night, and I sat staring at it, occasionally running my finger along the rim.

I don’t know how long I sat in the ashes of his memories, quietly sniffling as I mourned the loss of another touchstone of my old life.

A life that wasn’t mine anymore.