The Butterfly Manifesto

“Ah, good morning, Miss Brown. Please take a seat.”

Principal Olsen gestured to the chair in front of his desk. I had been called into the principal’s office during second period, which was a welcome relief because it was a particularly slow lecture on pre-colonial American history. Mr. Olsen was an older, heavyset man with a tinge of a Scandinavian accent. I had met with him many times in the various roles I had at school over the years.

“Good morning, Mr. Olsen,” I greeted as I sat down with my ankles crossed and hands in my lap. “Is something wrong?”

“Oh, it’s never anything wrong when it comes to you, Miss Brown. In fact, I have some big news for you. We’ve been going through our records, and I wanted to be the first to say congratulations! It looks like you will be the valedictorian this year!”

I had a feeling this was coming. It was almost criminal how easily I had breezed through classes since being shunted back in time. While it was time-consuming sitting in grade school day after day for years, actually pulling off the assignments was no challenge for me since this was my second round at being a high school student. As a result, I never really took any pride in my grades. Being a model student was more about passing the time and positioning myself toward college, which was already happening in the fall.

I smiled cordially, regardless. “Thank you, Mr. Olsen. What happens next?”

“Well, you’ll have to prepare a speech and submit it by the end of classes. That’s why we’re informing you so early. There will be photos and other events, but we’ll handle those when they come. How does it feel?”

“It’s a little overwhelming, if I am being honest. I have so much going on right now.”

“I understand completely. I hope that this will be more of a privilege than an obligation. After all, we want to commend you for your hard work all of these years and for being a valued member of the student body. Your counselor said that you’ve been accepted to the University of Chicago?”

“Yes, we visited the campus a week ago. Everything’s been finalized, I just need to make it through the rest of the school year.”

“Well, I want to say that everyone here at Northview High School is very proud of you. You’ve been a fine addition to our school, and you will be greatly missed.”

We talked for a bit longer about my plans and about the upcoming ceremony before he dismissed me and I returned to class. On the way out, a few of the office staff including the vice principal and my counselor Mrs. Donovan also congratulated me, and I accepted gracefully. If I was being honest, I felt guilty for the ease with which I succeeded at school, but it would have been strange for me to turn down being valedictorian with my stellar grades. Then again, I had to suffer through years of classes and lectures, so maybe I earned the prestige through sheer patience and will.

Still, as I walked back to class through the mostly-empty hallways, I was feeling sad about graduation. The classes may have been boring, but I enjoyed my high school career far more as Maya than Matthew ever did. Being a popular cheerleader who was academically active was a lot more fun than being a loner like Matthew had been. I would definitely miss the carefree days of simply being a high school girl. And a cute one, at that.

Outside of school, other pieces were moving in my life. I had been in regular contact with Mr. Thorne, and he was actively setting up the logistics of security and communications while I finished high school in Minnesota. Since I wasn’t legally an adult until the beginning of May, he coordinated with Dad about security measures. Since the majority of my wealth was locked up at Northern Trust, it was agreed that a minimal amount of security would be needed. At least until autumn.

When a security contractor arrived to install an advanced alarm system and new locks to the house, Mom was highly confused. Dad explained that it was all complimentary, due to the circumstances of my "internship." He had finally admitted to her just how successful I had been with his portfolio, and while Mom was a little shocked that this had been going on without her knowledge, after seeing the size of Dad’s modest portfolio Mom was very excited about having the ability to help with my tuition. I didn’t have the heart to tell her that my tuition was already paid in full with my portfolio.

Even though security wasn’t too intrusive, it required me to have regular check-ins with the security consultant and with Thorne. It was unusual for him to have to work around a high school schedule, but it was very clear that not only was I an important client, I was Thorne’s primary client. I represented a great amount of wealth, and therefore fees, to his firm and I was given the white glove treatment all the way. I had the feeling that it was going to get more and more intrusive as time went on, but I had no choice but to accept the circumstances that I set in motion.

My role as the official owner of my LLC also began in earnest, especially after my eighteenth birthday arrived in the first week of May. The domain-name brokers had already begun probing for buyers, which was pretty much out of my hands save for occasional updates. What was more pressing were the prom arrangements for the end of May; my last responsibility as a member of the student council was to help plan our senior prom. I decided to cheat just this one time as far as funding went, and had Thorne prepare an anonymous and generous donation that exploded the budget.

Once prom was paid for, I decided to take the initiative and make arrangements for my private plans for prom. Now that I was an adult, I felt that my self-imposed rule about sex could finally be rescinded. I had to admit to myself that I was eager to finally have sex; I had privately thought about it for years, and I wanted Jake after so many years of pushing that feeling aside. When I suggested that prom be the night we lost our virginity, Jake was oddly hesitant.

“I don’t know if it’s such a good idea, Maya,” he said, scratching his neck.

“It’s fine, Jake. We’ve been dating for years, and I really want to take this step. If we can’t do it on prom night of all nights, then there has to be something wrong with us, right?”

Jake looked uncomfortable, but nodded. “Alright. Prom night.”

I touched his arm. “Trust me, I’ll take care of everything.”

To that end, I contacted Thorne to have him make arrangements. I had already purchased a dress, but I had him hire a limo for a group of my friends as well as reserving a hotel room for Jake and me. He asked no questions, and by the end of the day he confirmed a booking for an excellent hotel downtown.

“I don’t know about this, Maya,” Mom responded when I was upfront about my prom night plans a few days before the night in question.

“Mom,” I explained, “It’s something I want. You know how responsible I am; Jake and I have been dating for most of high school, and we’ve never done anything like this. Besides,” I added, “we are eighteen, after all.”

Mom sighed. “I suppose it was inevitable. Yes, you are legally an adult and yes, you could have snuck around me. I suppose I don’t have any choice. You have the number for where you will be?”

“Yes, Mom.”

“And you will use protection?”

“Of course I will!”

Mom leaned in. “I know you don’t want to discuss…anatomy…but you are certain everything…will work as intended? This isn’t exactly something we ever discussed with the doctors.”

I blew out my cheeks. “As far as I know, my equipment will work as well as any other girl’s.”

Mom raised her hands defensively. “I had to ask. I’m your mother. And an exceptionally cool mother, since I’m agreeing to this while you’re living under my roof. I will cover for you as far as your father is concerned.”

“Yes, I’m pretty sure this is not the kind of mother-daughter conversation most mothers and daughters have.”

“You are the most wonderful daughter that this cool mother could possibly hope for. And Jake is a very good boy.” Mom reached in and gave me a sturdy hug.

The Saturday of prom was a whirlwind. I didn’t get a chance to pay for my hair appointment; Mom and Mrs. Janski sprang for the full salon treatment for their respective daughters. Catherine and I spent the afternoon fixing up our makeup and doing our nails, and occasionally giggling about our plans afterwards. I wasn’t fond of Catherine’s choice of a date, a football player named Sam that she had dated on and off this spring, but I was too engrossed in my own date to dwell on it. We helped each other into our gowns before going upstairs to pose for pictures from our parents.

After Catherine returned to her house, I waited nervously upstairs for Jake to arrive as I endlessly rechecked my appearance in the bathroom. Eventually I saw him, tuxedo-clad with a corsage in hand, walking up the driveway as I peeked out from the upstairs window. I heard Dad greet him in the entryway, and after waiting a full minute to build the anticipation, I went to the staircase to make my entrance. My heart went a mile a minute as I slowly descended the stairs, with Jake grinning stupidly under my spell. He placed the corsage on my wrist as Mom and Dad fussed and took more photos.

Right on cue, the limousine pulled into the driveway. With a final farewell, and a whispered assurance from Mom that my overnight bag would be placed on the front porch, we boarded the limo and sped off. We picked up Catherine and Sam down the street first, and did the same for my friends Carla and Danielle who were being picked up with their respective dates. The eight of us instructed the driver to wander the town for an hour as we laughed and partied in the back. No one seemed to know who actually paid for the limo, but the energy was too charged to wonder about little details like that.

The venue for our prom was a couple of steps above the usual high school quality, since the budget we had for prom was mysteriously robust. We girls walked to the entrance on our dates’ arms, and it was endless mingling as I said hello to nearly everyone there. The dance floor was booming with copious amounts of pop music like the Backstreet Boys and TLC. Even Jake and I were powerless against it, and decided to set aside our music snobbishness and simply join the crowd.

The night sped away, and eventually the lights dimmed with slow dancers filling the floor. I held Jake close to me as we swayed to the music, blissfully content to be held in his arms. Soon the hall started to empty as the evening came to a close, and Jake and I made the rounds to say goodbye to everyone and gathered up our limo party for the pre-arranged pickup. We were muted but each engrossed in our dates as the driver dropped us off in reverse order, and after a quick hug to Catherine it was just Jake and me as the limo pulled into our driveway.

The lights were off in the house as Jake walked me to the porch where, as promised, my bag was waiting for me. Jake swallowed heavily as I picked it up. He cleared his throat. “You, erm, still want to do this?”

I said nothing as he stood awkwardly and I slowly approached him, keeping eye contact with him. “I really do,” I whispered, before raising up and kissing him.

“Okay,” he nodded hurriedly as we returned to his car. He didn’t say much on the drive to the hotel; Jake was always very shy and reserved, especially when it came to intimacy. It was one of the reasons we dated for so long and had never succumbed to hormonal urges. Tonight, though, it was going to happen. I sat quietly to make him comfortable as we drove downtown. The Marquette Hotel was just about the nicest place you could reserve in Minneapolis, and Jake was sort of floored when the valet took his Toyota Corolla at the front door.

“This is way too fancy,” said Jake as he stared at the interior of the hotel, “how did you get this place?”

“I managed,” I answered simply, and I hung onto his arm as we rode the elevator to the top floor. We were led to the room by the bellhop, and both of us were in awe at the size of the room. The bellhop waved off my attempt to tip him as he assured me it was taken care of. Inspecting the room, I noted that there was serendipitously a bottle of wine tucked in a corner along with an assortment of condoms buried with the toiletries, which earned me a blush. Thorne apparently thought of everything.

Jake was staring out the window as I softly sashayed across the room in my gown and demurely sat on the edge of the bed. I waited for him to turn, giving him an assured smile which I hoped disguised the nervousness I felt as a girl about to do what I was about to do. Hesitantly, he stepped towards me, and took his place next to me. He was staring at the floor, and I scooted closer to him, placing my hand on his leg.

“Are you…nervous?” I asked.

He lifted his gaze to meet mine, but his focus felt distant, like he was looking past me at the expensive wallpaper. His easy, playful confidence from earlier in the night was gone, replaced by an unsettling solemnity.

“It’s just a lot,” Jake replied quietly. “I…I don’t know what I’m supposed to do, I guess.”

I summoned my courage and turned away from him. “You can unzip my dress, if you want.”

I held my breath as I felt him hesitantly pull down my zipper, my stomach exploding into a thousand butterflies. He gently pulled down the straps from my shoulders, and I stood off the bed a little as I stepped out of the dress. I quickly stepped out of my heels, wearing only my panties as I turned to him. His eyes were glued to my body, and despite feeling exposed, I knew I needed to take the initiative with him. I knelt in front of him, fumbling with his belt and trying my best to slide down his pants. He was exposed as well, not to mention ready to go as I took him into my mouth without a thought.

There was a part of me that felt degraded that I was on my knees servicing him like this, but somehow that made it exciting. Nothing in Matthew’s memories had prepared me for doing something like this, but then again they hadn’t helped with any aspect of my sexuality. He would have felt a measure of shame in this particular act, but for me it felt so good and so right. Soon he pulled me up gently and kissed me hard, my hand still stroking him as we kissed passionately. He eased me onto my back on the bed, fumbling with the buttons on his shirt as he held himself over me while we kissed.

Once he tossed his shirt to the side, I felt his hand go to my panties. I lifted my pelvis off the bed as he pulled them down to my toes. My mind scattered; I felt vulnerable as he looked down at my nude body, and he settled on top of me. I sighed, loving his weight on top of me and his bare skin on mine. Somehow, I managed to come to my senses for a moment as I brought my lips to his ear.

“There are condoms in the bathroom,” I managed to eke out.

Jake nodded quickly, dashing into the bathroom. I heard things crashing about as he searched through everything. As I lay there, naked with my legs spread on the bed, I realized that this was it: a man was going to make love to me. I felt so hot and empty, desperate to be filled. It was more intense than anything Matthew experienced.

Finally, I thought to myself, I get to have sex as a woman. With Jake!

I could see him in the bathroom struggling to unroll the condom and put it on properly, and I reached behind my head to pull out whatever hair pins I could in an effort to give myself something to do as I wrapped my mind around what was about to happen to me. Jake finally sprinted back to bed, resuming his place deliciously on top of me. I spread my legs to either side of his hips, feeling him adjust himself to my entrance as I shook uncontrollably. He looked down at me, and I held my breath as he took me.

It was…exquisite.

Much later, I found myself curled against him between the sheets. For much of that time, I merely lay staring at the ceiling as the ecstasy washed over me, even after I felt him finish inside of me before he stood up, exhausted, to remove the condom. I still shook sporadically, and as the feeling subsided I lay with Jake next to me. I only had distant memories of Matthew’s sexual encounters as a man, but they felt hollow and incomparable to how it felt as a woman. It was liberating to just be able to settle back and have Jake ravage me the way he did. I knew from the moment it was over I wanted more.

Jake rested back on his pillow, and occasionally I would raise my head from the comfort of his arm to look at him. He had an odd expression on his face; satisfied yet contemplative. I would have figured he’d be more elated, but maybe he was just tired. I nuzzled against his chest, hugging him close to me and loving the feeling of being a woman held by a man. Maybe I could go down on him again and we could go a second time, or maybe we could try from behind. Heck, maybe I could be on top! My mind raced with possibilities.

The one thing I knew for certain was that I was glowing. I was happier now than at any moment since waking up in the past. I was a woman, and I had satisfied a man.