Chapter Z: Boob Jobs & Broom Sticks (Halloween in Paddlewick Part 3)
Halloween lasted three days in Paddlewick; most of the kingdom’s ordinary rules remained firmly in place for the first two. Children carved lanterns, schools held frightening-story hours, and shops decorated their windows with ghosts, witches, and enchanted animals. MockNight came last, bringing the costume contests, trick-or-treating, street performances, and the temporary dress exemptions Vivian had been looking forward to for weeks.
The sun was nearly down when Candy, Alyssa, and Vivian left the Elwood house. Marcus remained behind to finish feeding Hearthwind and take care of a few things around the house, but he had promised to meet them near the contest stage before their category began.
“You are coming, though?” Vivian had asked him before they left. “We need an audience that knows us personally.”
Marcus had assured her that he would be there. Candy suspected Vivian mostly wanted someone available to confirm afterward that she had looked as good as she believed she did.
The closer they got to the festival, the more the Capital began to change. Lanterns hung from iron hooks outside nearly every house, their carved faces illuminated by small orange crystals. Some smiled, some snarled, and several moved their mouths whenever anyone passed beneath them. One particularly elaborate lantern sneezed sparks onto the hats of pedestrians until a guard ordered its owner to turn it down.
Children moved from door to door carrying cloth bags and small wooden buckets. Most traveled in groups, accompanied by parents or older siblings who waited by the road while the children knocked. Candy saw ghosts wrapped in white sheets, tiny werewolves with fur glued to their cheeks, a pair of boo-bees with striped tunics and fluttering paper wings, and one boy dressed as a coBra whose costume required him to hold both arms stiffly above his head to support the hood. CoBras had gotten popular quickly since their debut at the zoo. Candy couldn’t help but smile at that.
The adults had been more ambitious. A tall man walked past wearing a headless soldier costume with an enchanted false head tucked beneath his arm. A woman in a low-cut vampire dress had painted two red marks down her neck and seemed delighted by how often people looked at them. Candy also spotted witches, executioners, ghostly brides, animated skeletons, two men sharing a remarkably convincing Bra-Dragon costume, and a family dressed as Curtsey Cranes.
None of them appeared to be demons. Even the more grotesque costumes stopped short of infernal markings or recognized horn patterns. Paddlewick was prepared to laugh at almost anything for Halloween, but demons remained beyond humor.
The three friends joined the growing stream of people moving toward the center of town. Candy had expected to feel more conspicuous in Valeria’s costume, but exposed stomachs and plunging necklines were everywhere. The dress exemption had apparently encouraged half the women in Paddlewick Prime to find some historical or supernatural excuse to wear as little as the Ministry would permit.
As they walked, a man’s costume caught her eye. He was dressed as a ghoul. Like her, his eyes were magically changed for the evening, with a light blue and swirls of milky white. He wore tattered clothes and had sparse strands of thin hair about his head. He seemed to have sprung for a deluxe package because it also appeared to have drool activate whenever he stared at a person too long. Candy shook her head, offended. Gods forbid anyone in Paddlewick represent the ten percent of ghouls that were well spoken, rather than focusing on the bunch that were savage. Maybe next year that’d be her costume, a Drapeville ghoul mail courier.
A sign posted beside the road reminded everyone that the exemption expired at midnight and applied only to registered costumes. Beneath that, in smaller writing, it warned that trackers, marriage bracelets, and personal identification charms must remain visible at all times.
Vivian read the sign as they passed. “They always have to spoil it a little.”
“They’re allowing you to walk through the capital with half of your thighs showing,” Alyssa said. “Paddlewick probably considers the sign the least they could do.”
Vivian adjusted the opening in her silver-gray skirt. “I still think they could have extended it until breakfast.”
Candy’s own costume attracted attention, although less than she had feared. Several people recognized Valeria immediately. Others looked at the peaked hood, dark-red bodice, and black markings beside her eyes before glancing toward Alyssa and Vivian and identifying the full group.
A little girl in a ghost costume pointed at Candy from outside a bakery. “That’s the one who wrote down the children’s names.”
Her older brother, dressed as a wolf, grabbed her arm. “Don’t tell her yours.”
Candy looked at the two children and whispered, “I already know both of them.”
The girl shrieked happily and hid behind her brother. He stared at Candy with wide eyes until their mother reassured him that the witch was only pretending.
Vivian watched them hurry toward the next shop. “You’re good at this.”
“I just messed with two kids.”
“And they enjoyed it!”
The streets became busier as they approached the commercial district. Carts had been barred from the central roads, allowing vendors to set up tables beneath striped awnings. The air smelled of wood smoke, roasted nuts, hot cider, cinnamon, and meat cooking over open flames.
A bakery stall sold black-glazed soul cakes and witch-finger pastries tipped with almond nails. Another vendor offered bloodberry hand pies that dripped bright-red filling whenever someone bit into them. Children gathered around a tray of ghost buns enchanted to release a puff of cold vanilla mist when torn open. Every few moments, a pale face formed in the vapor and wailed before disappearing.
Candy bought one of the buns and split it with Alyssa. The face that rose from their half was small, furious, and wearing what appeared to be spectacles.
Alyssa watched it dissolve. “The shaping enchantment is better than I expected.”
“It tastes good too,” Candy said. Eyeing the passing crowd. She was increasingly aware of the heads that turned as they walked. Most were admiring the costumes, but some were doing so in a way that delighted Vivian and sickened Candy. Did that last guy check our her arse?! Oh, that other guy one hundred percent was staring at Alyssa's midriff. And Vivian, she never missed a cue to stick her chest or ass out, or somehow sway her hips at just the right moment. Candy rolled her eyes. She couldn't help but smirk. It's trick or treat tonight, could she yell at one of the men, 'hey, I have a penis!"? No, no she couldn't but, she giggled to herself at the thought.
They continued past candied apples with sugar fangs, pumpkin fritters, black licorice ropes, and bowls of spiced corn that occasionally jumped in fright when touched. Vivian stopped at nearly every stall, although she purchased very little, reminding them that the contest prize included food vouchers and she did not want to spoil her appetite before winning them.
Above the streets, projection crystals had been mounted on roofs and balconies. They cast moving images against the buildings and into the night sky. Pale ghosts floated through walls, enormous bats crossed the moon, and black silhouettes of witches rode broomsticks over the chimneys. One crystal projected a skeletal hand that appeared to reach down from the roof and snatch at hats before passing harmlessly through them.
The enchantments were simple compared with royal announcements, but dozens of them working together made the district feel transformed. Candy watched a translucent procession of long-dead Paddlewick soldiers march across the front of a dress shop before fading into the stone.
Two girls who looked like they were probably sisters stopped their sprint through town to stare at the trio. One of the little girls looked at Candy’s costume card hanging from her belt.
“You’re Valeria,” she said.
“Uh yeah, that’s what I was going for.”
“You steal souls.”
“Not tonight. I’m busy.” The girl giggled, apparently considering that a good answer.
"Hey, you're Aurelia and Pippa, right? From the Plinkblade comics?" Vivian asked the girls.
"Yes! The older one cried.
"Well, I love it! You look great!"
"Thank you miss!" The sisters spoke nearly in unison, then ran after the others in their group to brag about the recognition they'd gotten.
"I'm actually surprised you didn't want to dress as a Plinkblade character yourself," Alyssa said. "Given how much you've been into it lately."
"Oh, I would have, but the battle suits weren't on the ministry list." In the comic, the battle transformation left a skimpier costume for the heroines. Naturally, Vivian had looked into it.
"Ah."
They had nearly reached the main square when an officer stepped away from a temporary checkpoint and raised one hand. He wore his normal uniform beneath a black ceremonial cloak, although someone had painted his mustache silver for the evening.
“Excuse me, madam. I need to inspect those facial markings.”
Candy stopped. “Mine?”
“The black lines beside your eyes. They appear similar to a prohibited infernal mark. Coupled with the red eyes this seems questionable.”
Several people turned to look. Candy resisted the urge to pull the hood farther over her face, which would only make her appear guiltier. Alyssa had already opened the small case containing their costume papers.
“This is Valeria the Veiled Witch,” Alyssa said. “The design is approved under registry number FH-GW-113. We followed the makeup guide exactly.”
She handed him the character card and pointed to the illustration. The officer compared the painted Valeria with Candy, looking carefully at the angle and length of each line. Candy held still while he inspected one side of her face and then the other. The officer examined the approval seal before returning everything.
“Alright. The costume is permitted as shown.” His attention moved to Vivian’s costume. “You’re Avelora?”
Vivian smiled. “The Wailing Witch herself sir.”
“Please keep the wailing away from horses and enclosed public spaces. We’ve already had two incidents tonight.”
“Yes officer. I haven’t wailed once yet.”
Alyssa looked at her. “You practiced three times before we left the house.”
“Not in public”.
The officer allowed them to continue. Candy waited until they were beyond the checkpoint before looking at the character card again. The black marks on Valeria’s painted face were identical to the ones Alyssa had applied.
“Well, that was annoying,” Candy said.
Vivian moved closer to inspect Candy’s face. “It still looks good.”
They picked back up, and eventually passed a painted display of Captain Harlan Frosthall driving his sword through three black-robed witches. The witches had hooked noses and pointed hats that looked nothing like the costumes Vivian had purchased, although each bore the appropriate emblem across her chest.
Candy slowed to examine it. “How would anyone know they were stealing the children’s souls?”
“Because Frosthall caught them doing it,” Vivian said. “Everyone knows that part.”
A small ache formed behind Candy’s left eye. She rubbed her temple and continued walking.
Alyssa glanced at her. “Is something wrong?”
“Probably Vivian’s eye spell.”
“It looks fine,” Vivian said, peering at Candy as they walked. “Still wonderfully red.”
The ache had already begun to fade. Candy lowered her hand and looked back once at the painted witches before following the others into the crowd.
*****
The main square had been decorated more heavily than the surrounding streets. Hundreds of lanterns hung from wires overhead, and crystals beneath them shifted the light between orange, purple, green, and pale blue. A temporary wooden stage occupied the far end of the square, with tiered benches arranged in front of it. Contestants gathered beside a row of canvas tents while workers carried props behind the curtain.
A banner stretched across the stage entrance.
PADDLEWICK PRIME MOCK NIGHT COSTUME CONTEST
Beneath it, a painted Captain Harlan Frosthall stood over the broken basin of the Three Witches of Gloamwell. Valeria, Mabrina, and Avelora had been depicted fleeing around him in various states of defeat. Candy noticed that the painted Valeria had significantly more fabric covering her stomach than the costume company had provided.
Vivian led them toward the registration tent. “I signed us up under the Gloamwell Coven.”
“You know, they were never officially called a coven,” Alyssa said.
“They were three witches.”
“That doesn’t automatically make them a coven.”
“Sure it does.”
The registration clerk sat behind a long table covered with entry forms, costume cards, and numbered brass tokens. She wore a simple black dress and a pointed hat, although her Ministry identification remained prominently pinned to her chest.
“Group name?” she asked.
“The Gloamwell Coven,” Vivian said. “Vivian Corkhollow, Alyssa Halberdin, and Candy Elwood.”
The clerk located their entry and checked the three names. “Ah here you are, in the historical horrors group division. I need to see the costume approval cards and verify that no alterations were made after registration.”
Alyssa handed over the cards. The clerk compared each costume with its illustration, inspected the adjustment seams, and confirmed that the approval charms were still active. She spent an extra moment checking Avelora’s skirt where Vivian had attempted to loosen it, but Alyssa’s earlier intervention had kept it within the permitted line.
The clerk returned their cards and gave Vivian a brass token marked with the number fourteen. “Report to the staging area when group twelve begins. You will have ninety seconds, including the introduction. The basin, binding ribbons, illuminated soul figures, and Captain Frosthall standee will be provided.”
“Standee?” Candy asked.
“A painted representation. Historical Horrors groups are not required to supply their own props.”
Candy looked toward the stage. “How considerate.” Though if given the choice, Candy would have rather dressed as the Captain rather than the scantily clad witch.
“The soul figures are harmless,” the clerk continued. “Don’t open the basin’s control panel or adjust the projection crystals. If the enchantment fails, step away and allow a stage technician to assist. Any unauthorized spellwork results in deduction of points.”
Alyssa listened without comment, although Candy suspected she had already memorized the location of the control panel.
They moved away from the table and found an open space near the side of the stage. Vivian held up their numbered token while Candy reviewed the short performance instructions. The official script was not mandatory, but their scene needed to show Valeria reading the curse, Mabrina binding the stolen souls, and Avelora drawing them toward the basin.
“We can do this,” Vivian said. “Candy reads, Alyssa ties things together, and I scream.”
“The instructions say you call the souls,” Alyssa replied. “It doesn’t say you have to scream for the whole performance.”
“Hey, it’s what Avelora is known for.”
A nearby dog began barking when Vivian tested a brief wail. Its owner pulled it away while looking back at her.
Candy lowered the instruction sheet. “Save it for the stage.”
Marcus arrived a few minutes later carrying three cups of hot cider in a cardboard holder. He had changed out of his work clothes but was now wearing a grey suite with dark glasses on his head. Candy spotted him near the benches, looking over the crowd until he found the three witches beside the stage.
“What are you supposed to be?” She asked.
“I was going for ‘men in grey.’ I thought you might need these,” he said as he handed out the cups. “How long until you perform?”
“We are group fourteen,” Candy said. “They just started group nine. Did you go with that to avoid paying for a real costume?”
Marcus looked toward the stage, where a family dressed as flesh-eating garden sprites was arranging itself for judging. “This is a real costume. You know they’re out in force tonight. If I can wear the clothes day to day too well, that’s just a bonus. Anyway, I’ll find a seat.”
Vivian pointed toward the front benches. “Make sure you can see everything.”
“With those costumes, I don't think visibility will be a problem,” he laughed as he left to get a seat. Candy looked at him over the rim of her cup. Marcus appeared to realise what he had said, but Vivian was already laughing too loudly for him to take it back.
An announcer called group ten into the staging area. Behind the curtain, workers rolled the iron basin into place and tested the first glowing soul figure. It rose several feet into the air, turned slowly, and sank back inside.
Alyssa took the instructions from Candy and read them again. “We have time to practice once before they call us.”
Vivian adjusted the ribbons at her throat. “Once will be enough.”
With Marcus heading toward the benches and the next group already taking the stage, the three witches gathered around their empty patch of road and began working out the most theatrical way they could attempt to steal the souls of Gloamwell.
