A Sudden Realization
After the previous couple of days Lev was exhausted and just wanted things in his life to calm down for a bit.
This would be the case at least for the next couple of days which basically continued the same school routine. He kept learning from Jack and training with Zari. His life was currently in a flow state without that much of importance to take him out of it across these several days.
“Alright,” Jack said at the beginning of another class. “Today is going to be a little different than usual. Instead of having to hear another lecture from me you will be meeting up with a couple of other teachers. That is because we need to start getting your gear and costumes ready.”
“Hell yeah!” Ash says while pumping his fist towards the sky.
“Follow me. I’ll lead you to their classrooms myself.” Jack says as he walks out of the room.
They shortly arrive at the front of two very different looking rooms right next to each other. The one on the left looked like a car repair shop and the one on the right looked like a fancy clothing store.
Jack goes inside to inform the teachers that his students have arrived and are ready to get started.
As Jack exits the room he is followed by two teachers on either side of him. The one on his left looked like a biker who was a brunette with a mullet and a long beard who was wearing a jean jacket, black jeans, and a ripped shirt that looked like a skull. The one on the right has long yellow, white, and purple hair on one side of their head and was shaved on the other with sunglasses, a purple vest, fishnet sleeves, black jeans, and a red scarf.
“The man on my right is Bulldog. He will be making you gear to help you enhance your strengths and cover up your weaknesses.” Jack explained. “And The person on my left is Rose Chanelle. They will be designing your superhero outfits.”
“Hello darlings!” Rose introduces themself. “My job is to discover your inner beauty and assist you with designing a costume that will display who you are to the world. Also, I am nonbinary so they/them pronouns please.”
“...Uh…The name’s Bulldog…” Bulldog says matter of factly while scratching his beard. “...and I’ll be building you some stuff…”
Rose puts their hand onto Bulldog’s shoulder.
“What Bulldog meant to say is that he will assist you in crafting objects that are custom made to minimize weaknesses and accentuate strengths so that you can be the best heroes that you possibly can be.”
“...Uh…Sure…” Bulldog says with a dull expression.
“He seems intimidating, but he’s really a big softy, like a teddy bear who likes to play with power tools.” Rose says with a giggle.
“...Let’s just get this started…” Bulldog says as he turns around and walks back into his classroom which might as well also be his workshop.
“Okay!” Rose says while putting their hands together. “The boys will go with Bulldog and the girls will come with me. After half an hour we will have you all switch. By the end of today you all should have a rough idea of what you want your costume to look like and what gadget you might want.”
With help from Bulldog the boys came up with concepts for the gear that they wanted.
Ash Burns is going to get gauntlets that will help him with both the quantity of fire and the direction in which he wants to send it.
Calder McHail basically wants a similar yet opposite thing to what Ash asked for.
Lev Hart didn’t know what he wanted. He didn’t need a quiver because his arrows form from thin air. Maybe a glove that helped with gripping the bow? Maybe goggles that help with aiming? By the end of this half hour he did have something written down, but he wasn’t very satisfied by it.
Rose did the same but with costume ideas for the other half of the students.
Violet Newton wanted a cybernetically enhanced suit that took the appearance of knight armor.
Candi Kane just designed a costume that added as many compartments to store sugar and sweets as possible.
Maka Sharktooth just made an amateurishly drawn picture of herself with buffer arms.
At the half hour mark they swapped classrooms.
Violet wanted a few weapons that were easily concealable yet as big as possible when fully operational. These included a mace, hammer, javelin, shield, and sword.
Candi asked Bulldog if it was possible to make a container that shrinks its contents just so she could fit more sweets onto her person.
Maka told Bulldog she didn’t need any weapons because she already had some while gesturing to her biceps.
Ash wanted his superhero costume to have a cape that looked like one huge, flowing flame along with a mask and helmet that made it look like his head was on fire.
Calder’s costume design was heavy snow clothing with sleeves that attached to the gloves that he asked Bulldog for.
Finally there was Lev. For about ten minutes he just sat there deep in thought. He knew almost exactly what he wanted, but was afraid to put the thought to paper. He took a deep breath to balance his mind and drew out a costume concept that included a headband with a heart adorned at the center, a pink jacket that had angel wings attached to the back with a heart emblem between the wings, and a blue dress with a white sash along the waistline.
As he walked towards Rose with his rough sketch held closely at his chest his mind started to think about the consequences of what he was about to do.
“Hello again.” Rose said with a small smile on their lips. “Are you finished with your concept?”
Lev gave a small nod and quickly handed Rose the paper before he had time to think about what he just did.
“...Hmmm…” Rose said as they took a moment to look at the concept and analyze its components.
“...Do…do you like it?” Lev said softly in a way that indicated that he was quite embarrassed while rubbing his arm.
Rose looked up at Lev. Their sunglasses were currently on so he couldn’t see their eyes. “...Do I like it…”
Lev awkwardly shuffled in place while anxiously waiting for Rose to finish sharing their thoughts on the costume concept.
“...I…LOVE IT!” Rose says with a gigantic grin. “I genuinely believe that this costume fits you perfectly! It is also just an incredibly stylish fit.”
“...So…you don’t think that it is…I dunno…too girly for me?”
Rose takes their sunglasses off and dawns a more serious expression.
“Anyone is allowed to wear anything. Clothing isn’t gendered. The only thing any person of any gender needs to make an outfit work for them is to have the confidence it takes to put it on.”
Hearing this was a revelation to Lev.
‘I…can wear women’s clothing! The only person who is stopping myself from doing so…is me!’ Lev thought to himself as a huge smile suddenly appeared on his face.
He leans over the desk and gives Rose a hug.
“...Thank you…you have no idea how much I needed to hear that…” Lev says with tears forming in the corners of his eyes.
“I am just doing my job. You don’t have to thank me. As I said earlier, my job is to help you discover your inner beauty and help you display it to the world.” They emphasize this last sentence with a wink. “Also, when I said that your costume fit you perfectly I meant it.”
Lev was glad that Rose’s class was now over because he didn’t want to cry in front of everyone else.
After class he quickly went back to his own dorm room and cried his eyes out.
It took him about half an hour to let his emotions out and to calm himself back down.
He walked over to his bathroom mirror and took a long and hard look at himself. He also took his shirt and pants off so he was standing there while only wearing a black black undershirt and gray boxer briefs.
He liked his hair. For some reason he never really enjoyed getting his haircut and he was satisfied with its current length.
That is about where his self compliments stopped though.
He thought that his jawline was way too well defined. He didn’t like the shadow of facial hair that would never leave his face no matter how many times he shaved. He also didn’t like how boxy his shoulders were or how narrow his hips were.
He then looked slightly downwards in the mirror and looked at his chest.
Mostly because of Zari’s rigorous training he actually was decently muscular. Specifically all of the muscles on his chest were quite toned. Most men would be proud of such a physique, but he can’t say that he cared about that in the slightest.
If he were being honest with himself, he actually hated that part of his body. He couldn’t really explain it, but something about it just fell…off.
While still paying close attention to himself in the mirror he slowly reached upwards and dragged his hands down his own torse.
‘I wish that I had boobs.’ He thought to himself.
After processing what he just thought for another moment he suddenly starts to panic.
‘Why did I just think that?! I am a boy! I shouldn’t want such…things.’ He frantically thought of an excuse for himself.
‘...But…am…am I…really…a…boy?’
They went back over to the mirror.
It suddenly dawned on them that everything that they didn’t like about themself were all of the more masculine attributes.
“...Can I…” They said out loud. “...Can I really just be a girl though…”
Their thoughts were now swirling like a hurricane in their own mind.
“...Am…I allowed to let myself do this?”
They looked in the mirror again.
“...I…want to have boobs…” They said aloud, but in a whisper. “...I…want…wider hips…and to wear makeup…and to wear pretty clothes…and…” They suddenly covered their own mouth to suppress a gasp.
“...I…want to be a girl…” She says to herself. “...I…I am a girl…”
“Oh my god! I am a girl!” She says while she had the biggest smile that she has ever done on her face.
“...Oh shit! I’m a girl…” She suddenly says in a much sadder tone with a more solemn expression.
It started to dawn on her exactly what that means and everything it entails.
She would need to eventually tell people. She would need an entire new wardrobe. She would need to learn how to do makeup. She…might need a couple of surgeries down the line.
‘How much money is this going to cost? What if it all just a waste of time and I end up looking like a man wearing a dress? What if my friends…hate me because of it.’ This thought broke her heart.
After all of these years she finally has a group of people that she can actually call her friends. She didn’t want to ruin that with such a revelation.
She went to her bed to lie down and grabbed her shark plush and hugged it close to her chest.
After she calmed herself down a little she grabbed her phone and started to do some research.
She didn’t get any sleep that night.