High School DxD: Fox of Ill Omen

Chapter 128— An Unstable Ability

Rias

I stared at Yuki after she said that she nearly hurt Asia.

She had told me about her new ability that would refuse the strain her own spells put on her body.

They should have been amazing news, but there was a cost associated with it.

And that cost, had almost led to Asia to be seriously hurt.

I could hear the pain in Yuki’s voice after she said it.

I could see that she was upset with herself over it, and I understood why.

It was Asia, the kindest and most selfless person I had ever met.

She had been nothing but supportive to Yuki since she had joined the peerage, and now Yuki was telling me that she had come very close to injuring her on accident.

Until then, this conversation had been painfully personal in a way I still didn’t know how to sthink about without blushing, flinching, or wanting to ask Yuki for forgiveness again.

But this was different.

I knew how to act with this.

I could be their [King] and ensure that Yuki was able to train her ability without anyone getting hurt, and I could help her understand that she didn’t need to tear herself up over it.

It was the least I could do after failing her so badly.

And it could distract me from the fact that I still didn’t know how I felt about Yuki after everything that had happened.

But the knowledge that Yuki had been dealing with something this serious while I was avoiding her only made the guilt in my chest heavier.

I would be better.

For her and myself.

I drew in a slow breath and looked at her properly.

She was standing near the window with her hands folded too neatly in front of her, shoulders held still in that way she often did when she didn’t want to be noticed.

The lamplight caught in her pale hair and made the shadows under her eyes look darker by contrast.

She looked exhausted.

Like she hadn’t slept in a few days and had still been training herself as much as she could.

And I had spent days letting that happen out of sight because I hadn’t been brave enough to face my own embarrassment.

If I hadn’t avoided her, I would have known about her training sooner.

I could have helped, or at least known enough to warn the others.

I pushed my guilt down as wallowing in it would do nothing to help right now.

“All right,” I said.

My voice came out steadier than I felt.

I folded my arms lightly beneath my chest, not from defensiveness this time, but concentration.

“Let’s start from the beginning. What does this new ability do to you?” I asked.

Yuki nodded and then took a breath.

“It changes my body enough that curse use fits more naturally,” she said. “Not perfectly. It doesn’t erase the natural drawback of my spells, but it removes some of the strain placed on me from my seals.” Her mouth tightened. “Or that’s what it’s supposed to do, eventually. Right now it’s unstable.”

“How unstable?”

Yuki looked at me for a moment before answering.

I waited for her to tell me everything.

I did not want her to try and make it prettier for me.

“I can’t control myself while in it yet due to the way it affects my mind,” she said. “Using the state removes some physical backlash but introduces a mental effect. It’s the cost of using the ability. It makes me more impulsive, more rash, lowers inhibitions, and it amplifies my Kitsune instincts. It also causes minor physical changes. Asia even thought I had become a stray Devil.”

I gave her a surprised look at that.

“They’re that drastic? It must have scared Asia quite badly then.”

“They’re all quite minor changes. My fur turns black and red, my teeth and nails sharpen, and my eyes narrow and change.” She replied.

I could picture it without much effort.

Too easily, perhaps.

The thought of Yuki with darkened fur and looking more predatory should have been merely interesting and concerning.

It wasn’t merely concerning.

I pushed that aside at once.

“But Asia wasn’t scared of me when she saw it. She was afraid that I would be killed for becoming a stray. She broke down crying in relief when I told her it was just a side effect of my abilities.”

I have a wry smile.

I could easily imagine Yuki going to apologize and Asia bawling in her arms that she was going to be fine.

“That sounds like Asia. But how bad is the mental effect you mentioned?”

Yuki frowned.

“Bad. It’s hard to control initially, and the longer it stays active, the worse that gets.”

My fingers pressed into my sleeves.

This wasn’t a simple power up or new spell.

It was a double edged sword she had made to grow stronger.

“And you can turn it off when you need to?”

“I have to focus to exit.” The words came out tight. “It doesn’t simply fall away when I want it gone.”

That made my stomach sink.

Because there would be situations where focusing would be difficult.

Like in the middle of a fight.

Or when she was hurt and needed to retreat.

Yuki continued as she looked to the floor near the center of the room.

“Earlier, Asia walked in while I was using it.”

She continued before I could interrupt.

“She, Xenovia-san, and Yuuto-san had brought tea. Asia came into the room alone and I hadn’t heard her enter.” Her mouth twisted faintly. “I was training and already in the state. She came closer to me, not realizing something was wrong. She called out to me and I… I jumped on her. I pinned her to the floor.”

The regret in her voice made me want to reach out and comfort her.

I could imagine what had happened.

Asia unknowingly approaching Yuki being concerned at her state.

Yuki pushing her to the floor and climbing on top of her.

Her looming over Asia in her changed state.

Then I remembered Yuki on my lap on her bed.

And suddenly it was me under Yuki looking up at her as her eyes stared down at me hungrily.

Heat spread across my face.

What in the world was wrong with me?

I was supposed to be listening to her worries and I was imagining… that.

I shook my head to rid myself of the image.

Yuki was still speaking, thankfully.

“Yuuto-san and Xenovia-san ran into the room when Asia called out to them,” she said. “They came in before it could got worse. I managed to force myself out once they interrupted things enough.”

I wanted to sigh in relief that I hadn’t been distracted enough to miss anything she said

I hoped my face hadn’t changed.

But Yuki stopped.

Her eyes narrowed just a fraction with concern.

“Buchou?”

I looked away at once and cleared my throat as though that would disguise anything.

“It’s nothing.”

That came out far too quickly.

I wanted very badly not to examine that thought while standing in front of the person who had caused it.

So I seized on the most practical question available.

“Asia wasn’t hurt?”

Embarrassment and guilt showed on her face.

“No,” she said immediately. “She was shaken and embarrassed, but she was more worried about me and how badly I reacted to it.” She gave a wry smile as she continued. “She tried to intimidate me into accepting that it wasn’t my fault.”

I couldn’t help but chuckle at that.

“The though of Asia intimidating anyone is amusing, but she was right. It wasn’t your fault. You isolated yourself and were focused on training. You could have went about it better, but that can be said for all of us for plenty of things, me especially. If I hadn’t been avoiding you, I might have known about the problems with your training sooner.”

Yuki nodded slowly.

“I don’t know if that would have changed what happened with Asia,” I continued, quieter now. “But I may have been able to prevent it.”

“You shouldn’t need to. I should be able to control myself.” Yuki replied.

I sighed.

“Us blaming ourselves will get us nowhere. I know I’ve been doing it as much if not more so than you, but we will just talk in circles the rest of the night. We need to put these things to rest.”

Yuki blinked before furrowing her brows.

“How do you suggest we do that?”

“We can focus on a problem that we can do something about. Your training.” I said.

“I don’t think there is anything we can do,” she said. “I can only isolate myself and continue to try and control it.”

“I think you should practice with others present instead. It might be more beneficial to practice in the conditions you’ll actually be using it. You’ll have to use it around others if you want to use it in a fight.”

Yuki shook her head.

“I already spoke to Yuuto-san, Xenovia-san, and Asia about that. We all agreed that it would not be a good idea to train around others. They saw what happened when Asia walked in.” She said.

She looked tired as she denied my idea.

“It would be supervised.” I replied. “We would form a group to make sure that if there was an issue, that we could stop it from getting worse. Someone could spar with you while I watched. We could have more people if it would make you more comfortable.”

She still looked unconvinced.

“This state ability exists because it will help you in a fight. It would be stupid to not do whatever we can to help you master it. The training will be controlled and planned. And if you’re still unconvinced, then we can ask the others what they think. Does that sound better?”

She was quiet for a moment.

“If the others accept the idea, then I won’t refuse the help. I just know that whoever I spar against will have to be prepared for me to make things… uncomfortable.”

I let my arms fall and closed the distance between us by one step.

Yuki didn’t retreat.

“Listen to me,” I said.

She did.

Dark violet eyes fixed on mine, tired and wary and too attentive all at once.

“If this power is part of what you need, then you will learn it,” I said. “I trust you, I know Koneko, Asia, Yuuto, and the rest do too. If they know what they’re getting into, no one will have an issue with what happens. So stop expecting the worst.” I said.

I grimaced internally at how hypocritical that was of me to say.

Some of the tension in her face loosened.

“That’s fair,” she murmured.

I almost smiled.

This was better.

This did not mean things between us were completely fixed.

I still didn’t understand exactly how I felt.

But we were able to act more like normal.

It was a starting point.

“Will you be practicing with it again before we can train together??” I asked.

Yuki hesitated. “Mireia-sama will probably want me practicing the transition again tomorrow.”

Of course she would.

I imagined Yuki forcing herself into that altered state over and over while Mireia-san watched clinically, measuring every twitch of instinct and every slip of control.

I let out a deep sigh.

“Well, we can try practicing with more people later then. Ask Mireia-san if she thinks it will be valuable to you. I can ask Azazel-sensei the same thing.

I liked out the window at the darkening sky.

“I think that’s enough talk about that for now. I’m glad were able to resolve this, and I am sorry again for avoiding you for the past few days.” I said.

“It’s alright Rias-Buchou. If something like this happens again, please just talk to me next time.”

I didn’t like how easily she had forgiven me for the whole thing, but I still gave a small smile.

“I will,” I said, before pausing. “For training your state around others, would it be alright with you if we included Koneko and Akeno?”

She tilted her head slightly.

“It’s done with me, but why those two specifically?” She asked.

“Well their training each involves accepting a part of themselves that they don’t like and your training is about controlling this altered version of yourself. It is somewhat similar and it might help them with their training to see you working on a version to what they are going through. I’ve spoken to both of them about their training. Akeno sounds like she has been handling Azazel’s regiment well enough, but it’s always hard to tell exactly how much truth she is giving you and how much of herself she is hiding. And Koneko has told me she’s been focusing on her physical training, which worries me. She is going to need a lot of help for her to accept that part of herself.”

Yuki paused and glanced at the door before replying.

“Koneko-chan is probably doing better with her training these you realize.” She said.

I blinked.

“What makes you say that?”

“When I’ve checked on her during her training, she’s had her Nekomata traits out a few times when I’ve stopped by, and she’s told me that she’s been working on her Youkai powers, albeit slowly.”

“She told you about her Nekomata half? How much did she tell you?”

“Most of it I think. She told me about her past, her sister, how she came into your peerage, and her old name. I wanted to make sure she was alright, and she shared it with me before I encouraged her to try and practice with her powers.”

It surprised me that Koneko was willing to open up to someone already.

I had been worried she would refuse to use her powers and push herself with physical training until she fell apart.

She could be one of the most stubborn people in the peerage sometimes.

“Well thank you Yuki,” I said. “Koneko has always been close with you and I think that hearing it from you probably really helped her. I should have done more for her, but I wasn’t sure how to approach her about it. I don’t know if me interfering would have made it better or worse.”

“She still needs our support. She’s scared of becoming like her sister, that’s the main issue. If we can reassure her that won’t happen, then I think she’ll be more willing to embrace that part of herself.”

It was somewhat sad to see how quickly she shifted from her shame and guilt she felt around what had happened between us and with her and Asia, to a calm focus as she spoke about what we could do to help Koneko.

“Then we will make sure she knows we believe in her,” I said, giving her a small smile. “Koneko has a large potential to become a powerful Devil if she can learn to embrace and control her Nekoshou powers. But more importantly, it will help her accept and move on from her pain that is still holding on to her.”

Yuki gave a firm nod.

I looked out the window and realized it was very late and that Yuki looked exhausted.

I felt exhausted after all of that.

“I should get going then. It’s far too late and we both still have to train tomorrow. You should get some sleep,” I said softly.

“You should as well, Buchou,” she answered.

I moved toward the door, then paused with my hand on the handle and looked back at her.

She was still standing near the window, pale hair catching the dim light from the window, exhaustion written all through the lines of her body now that she no longer seemed to be holding herself together so tightly.

I realized again that I had failed her in more than one way.

This talk hadn’t fixed it all, but it was a start.

I opened the door.

The pathway outside was quiet, lit by lamps and idyllic in the way things only are at night.

Before I stepped through, I heard Yuki say my name.

“Rias.”

I turned.

She looked like she wanted to say something, but settled for something smaller

“Thank you,” she said. “For coming to see me.”

I held her gaze for a second, and answered honestly.

“I should have come to see you sooner. I am sorry for the pain I’ve caused you with my selfishness, Yuki.”

She looked like she wanted to protest for a moment.

Like she wanted to point out that she should be blamed as well.

But she held her tongue, probably realizing that it wouldn't lead anywhere.

“I already forgave you.” Was all she said in the end.

She sounded calm but tired.

I gave a small nod before I stepped outside and pulled the door closed behind me.

The walk back to my room felt longer than it should have.

Part of that was the estate itself.

My family’s residence always seemed larger at night.

The darkness made its quiet corridors and high ceilings feel larger.

Part of it was my own mind refusing to settle.

Yuki’s explanation kept replaying.

The seals twisting her backlash.

Mireia-san working with her to build a solution around that distortion.

The state and its drawbacks.

The lowered inhibition.

Asia pinned to the floor.

My own immediate, humiliating image of myself in that position.

The way my face had heated before I could stop it.

Yuki’s concerted gaze when she noticed something off.

I pressed my fingertips once against my temple as I walked.

Why had I imagined that so quickly?

I was still trying to understand myself after the night in her room, and now I was imagining myself in an intimate position with her again when I was supposed to be apologizing for the hurt I caused her.

I was supposed to be acting as her reliable [King] when she told me her worries about her new ability.

By the time I reached my room, I had decided only one thing with certainty:

I was not going to let my own confusion become an excuse for abandoning the problem again.

Not with Yuki.

Not with her new and unstable ability.

I would ensure that she would be able to practice it in a safe and controlled manner.

It should help her to more quickly master it.

It was the least I could do for her.

I paused as I was getting into bed.

I realized I had never asked her what she had named it.

I got into bed as I realized that she would tell me when we discussed it with the others.

I stared at the ceiling for a moment as I thought of her.

I still didn’t know how I felt, and I felt guilty that I was relieved that Ise was away for his training.

It would give me time to figure things out.

I just needed time.