Chapter 45: Nostalgia
There was once a little girl who traveled with her mother to this city. That girl was afraid of every new thing she came across — she couldn't do anything without fear unless her mother was beside her. But that woman had told her something very important. Those words still echo in Bonnie's mind as she takes in the city with nostalgic eyes.
'It's the same, but different…'
It was a shame she couldn't stay long — otherwise her Ballad's powers would start to fade, and that was the last thing she wanted. Understanding that she needed this power to survive, she could picture her younger self walking through these streets alongside her mother.
Where the dust settles. Where the sunset paints the ground crimson alongside the great, distant northern mountains. Carriages passed by the group, and people less elegantly dressed than those in Steam City moved around the establishments nearby. At the same moment, the church bell rang out in the distance, marking the change of hour.
"So — what does everyone want to do?" Victoria asked without taking her eyes off the road.
"I want to sleep…" Lady answered. "In case no one noticed, I was the one who took two watch shifts last night. I feel like I could fall asleep right here."
"I'm hungry. Dried meat is fine, but we're here — I'm going to a restaurant. Two or three Crowns for a proper meal, I can't wait."
Bonnie felt like she'd been left out of every decision since leaving Steam City. She hesitated about whether to say what she was thinking — but as someone who had sworn not to focus on fear and what might happen, she said:
"I'd like to go for a walk on my own."
All of them looked at her with curious expressions.
"Uh. Well, I've been to this city before. I'd like to revisit some old memories and maybe eat something local. The grilled lamb in this city is delicious, and well… that."
"You can go wherever you like. Nobody's keeping you on a leash," La Señora said. "Just make sure you don't spend too long in isolated places. A girl your age can sometimes attract the wrong kind of eyes."
Bonnie already knew what Victoria meant. Even so, she felt confident she could handle ordinary people. She was a follower of the Outlaw's Ballad, after all. Her heightened senses and aim were something to be reckoned with now. Anyone who picked a fight with her would definitely be a fool for judging a book by its cover.
Evelyn, however, stepped in with a small clearing of her throat.
"Can I come along? You said you wanted to go alone, but I hate eating by myself. Since you know the city, why not give me a little tour?"
"You know the city too, Evelyn," Lady said. "Don't pretend otherwise just to stay with her."
"You didn't have to say that."
"Yes I did. You can be shameless sometimes, you know."
"I'm an outlaw — what did you expect, sweetheart?"
Without warning, Victoria moved her horse between them and gave both of them a knock on the head. Evelyn's cowboy hat crumpled and Lady's beret nearly flew off. Both of them complained about the pain.
"Stop acting like children. I'm heading to the usual inn, so I'm going on ahead," said La Señora. She rode past them down the street.
Lady and Evelyn watched her go in silence, then both sighed, worn out. Victoria was like the animal tamer of this group — though she could be a little wild herself from time to time.
'These girls are quite a spectacle sometimes. Well, there's not much I can do alone in a city this size. It would be good to have someone with me — but I also wanted some time to myself… I suppose your feelings will have to wait a little longer, Bonnie. Let's make the most of tonight with Evelyn.'
"I'm going to catch up with Vicky. See you both later," said Lady.
The girl quickened her pace to match La Señora's, while Evelyn stayed behind, watching her in silence. Bonnie spoke up:
"I don't know you that well, but I'd say you don't like being alone."
Thieving Cat let out a small laugh.
"Yeah. I really don't. So what do you say — will you let me tag along tonight?"
"I was about to ask you the same thing."
"Perfect. Since you know the city, you're in charge of the itinerary."
"Lady said you know the city too. If I'm left to handle everything myself, I'm not sure I can pull it off. It's been years since the first and only other time I was here. Even though it looks the same, a lot seems to have changed."
"Then we'll go discover everything new after dinner. Let's make the most of the bit of sunlight left before it gets dark. And our horses are tired from the pace we pushed — let's leave them at the stable and go on foot."
Bonnie looked at Capella. The mare was still full of energy — but she couldn't treat her like a vehicle she could use whenever she pleased. So she stroked her horse's neck and answered:
"That sounds like a good idea. Let's go."
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Later, after leaving the horses at the stable and a delicious dinner of grilled lamb at that rustic restaurant with the great stone fireplace, Bonnie and Evelyn strolled through the streets.
"My mother had some business to take care of in this city, so I asked my father for permission to go with her. We came to Dustfall by carriage, and the trip from my family's estate took quite a while — but on the way back we decided to take the train. I think my mother was something like an important part of my father's business, even if it never seemed that way."
"Wow. Rich people stuff — I never understand it very well."
"Yeah… Well, that was many years ago. I barely remember much of it. The places I visited are blurry in my memory, but when I come across a building that hasn't changed with the years, it brings me straight back to the past. It's a strange feeling I have trouble putting into words."
"That's nostalgia, sweetheart. We feel nostalgic for moments we miss from deep inside our memories. It happens to me every time I visit a place I've been before with my family. As you can see, that's not possible for me anymore — but the memories still remain."
'I know. These memories aren't mine — but I feel them as an important part of who I am. I miss Bonnie's mother the way I would miss my own, and I resent everything that happened after she died. Nostalgia washes over me every time her memories surface. She really was the kindest person of them all.'
She could still see her when she closed her eyes. That beautiful woman with a soft voice and gentle ways, who treated with warmth everyone who was warm to her. And now that she was fully aware of it, she saw her mother as a beautiful flower in full bloom, alive in a field covered in death and mystery.
'I curse the day illness took her from me…'
Because after that, her father became what he is now.
Bonnie sighed, tired. Evelyn noticed, and with a calm smile, draped her arm over the young outlaw's shoulders. Bonnie turned to look at Thieving Cat, who smiled at her and winked.
At the same moment, Cat jumped up onto Evelyn's hat and let out a meow.
"Don't sink into your sorrows, Bonnie. We're here to rest, so clear your head and let's enjoy our date."
"Date?"
"Two girls walking close together, out on the town in the lamplight of the early evening settling over our heads. Hardly anyone else around… This is a date, as far as I'm concerned."
"We're both women, you know."
Evelyn burst out laughing, loud enough to draw looks from the people nearby. She didn't care in the slightest what anyone thought, though. In fact, she met their stares with those scarlet eyes, a smile, and an expression that clearly said: "What exactly are you looking at? Mind your own business, sweetheart."
Then she turned her eyes back to the road and said:
"That never stopped Lady with plenty of other women we've met on our travels."
"You just say things like that about your friend like it's nothing… And anyway, that has nothing to do with this! Let go of me, you're embarrassing me."
Evelyn raised both hands.
"Easy, easy, sweetheart. Don't get flustered. And Lady says things about me without a second thought too — you just don't know her as well as I do yet. Come on, let's keep walking a little longer before we go find the others."
"Meow," said Cat.
Bonnie looked away.
'She just does whatever she wants, doesn't she…'
There was nothing left to argue about. They kept moving through the alleyways, heading toward the place they'd planned to end up at after their walk — but while the two of them were enjoying the evening, a coyote was running through the dark alleyways of the city, chasing Scaramuccia's shadow as it leapt desperately from wall to wall.