C46: Confessions & Feelings
Kate held Travis's hand carefully, mindful of the IV line and the bruises shadowing his knuckles. Seeing him so still felt wrong. His hands were usually busy with a coffee cup, a motorcycle handlebar, a case file, or some stupid gesture that made her want to roll her eyes and smile at the same time.
For a few moments, Kate only watched him breathe, trying to fit this silent figure beneath the blankets with the man who saved her life without caring about his.
"You know," she began softly, "you're supposed to be unconscious right now, which means this is probably the only chance I'll get to say something without you interrupting me with one of your terrible jokes."
Her thumb brushed over the back of his hand as she looked down at their fingers.
"I remember what you said in that maintenance room... Telling me to stay awake, even though you were hurt worse than I was. You were bleeding, half the tunnel was coming down around us, and you still found enough energy to remind me about Nebula 9."
A faint smile touched her mouth before it faded again.
"The future dates talk was sweet in a completely reckless way. Then you brought up some ridiculous threesome or foursome plan like that was supposed to convince me not to pass out."
She shook her head gently, careful not to pull at the pain in her stomach.
"I still haven't decided whether that was your version of romance or a concussion talking. Either way, it worked better than it had any right to."
Kate looked toward his face, and the warmth in her voice slowly gave way to something more honest.
"I wanted to live, Travis. I was scared..." She pressed her lips and nodded. "I was really scared, and I didn't want that tunnel to be the last memories we shared."
Her fingers tightened around his hand.
"There were things I still wanted. I wanted to see my dad again, go back to the precinct, and listen to Castle turn another bad theory into a speech. I wanted Ryan complaining about paperwork, Esposito pretending he doesn't care when he obviously does, and I wanted the chance to beat you in that gym one day."
The words caught in her throat for a moment, but she kept going.
"And I wanted more time with you."
Kate sat quietly after that, letting the truth stay in the room without trying to soften it. She reached up with her free hand and moved a loose strand of hair away from his forehead.
"You kept me going when I was ready to let everything fade. You made me remember there was a world outside that tunnel, and there were things worth fighting to come back for."
Her voice trembled despite the effort she put into keeping it calm.
"So thank you for coming after me. Thank you for protecting me when you had every reason to save yourself first. I'm still angry at you for being that reckless, and I'm probably going to remind you about it for the rest of your life."
A quiet laugh escaped her before she looked down again.
"But I'm also grateful you were there with me."
The monitor continued its steady rhythm, filling the silence while Kate waited for his fingers to move or his eyes to open. Nothing changed, and the ache in her chest had nothing to do with the injuries beneath her gown.
"By the way, we'll miss the Nebula 9 premiere," she said after a moment. "That part is honestly tragic."
Her lips curved slightly as she imagined him arguing back.
"When the DVD comes out, I'll buy it, and we can watch it at my apartment like before. We'll get popcorn, sodas, and no drinking competition because I learned my lesson about challenging you after wine."
She paused, then added with a small smile, "Actually, I'll make the popcorn. You're staying far away from the stove until every doctor in this hospital agrees you can stand without trying to prove something stupid."
Kate leaned closer, lowering her voice until it belonged only to him.
"You've got a long recovery ahead of you, Detective Wilson. You're going to complain about every part of it, argue with the nurses, and convince Captain Montgomery to consider early retirement."
Her hand closed around his again.
"But you're going to wake up. You're going to get better. Then we're going to have that second date, even if it happens months late... I'll wait for you... No matter how long it takes, because I love you."
Kate watched him for another moment, her eyes wet but steady.
"So wake up for me, Travis. You still owe me a movie, a sparring rematch, and one chance to finally put you flat on that gym mat."
A nurse appeared quietly in the doorway, her expression gentle as she checked the clock.
"Detective Beckett, your visit is almost over," she said softly.
Kate nodded, but she didn't release Travis's hand right away.
"Give me one more minute, please," she asked, still watching him closely.
After a brief pause, the nurse gave a small nod and stepped back into the hallway.
Kate leaned closer to him one last time.
"I'll be here tomorrow," she whispered. "I'll be here every day until you wake up and complain about the hospital food."
...
...
[Next Morning] [Intensive Care Unit]
Morning light reached Travis's hospital room slowly, slipping through the half-closed blinds and leaving pale stripes across the floor. The monitors beside his bed kept a steady rhythm, soft enough that the room almost felt peaceful until someone looked closely at the bandages, the bruising along his face, and the machines doing part of the work his body could not manage alone.
Lanie stood outside the glass for a moment before stepping inside. She had checked on him more times than she wanted to admit over the last few days, usually finding some excuse about medication charts, recovery assessments, or updated lab results. This time, she had no chart in her hand and no professional excuse waiting behind her teeth.
A nurse glanced toward her from the station outside the room. "His vitals have stayed stable through the night," she said quietly. "You can sit with him for a few minutes, Doctor Parish."
Lanie nodded and walked toward the bed.
Travis looked wrong beneath the blankets. He was usually moving, talking, teasing someone, or carrying himself like the world had never produced a problem he could not solve through stubbornness and jokes. Seeing him unconscious made the room feel too still, as though somebody had taken the life out of him and left only the outline behind.
She pulled the chair closer and sat beside him.
"You know," Lanie said, letting out a quiet breath, "that was really reckless. Even for you, Travis, that was a spectacularly stupid way to prove you care about somebody."
Her eyes moved over his face, softening despite the frustration in her voice.
"But I'm glad you and Kate are still here," she continued. "She woke up yesterday, and she asked about you before she asked about anything else. That woman cares about you more than she knows how to say."
Lanie rested her hands together in her lap, then looked at the monitor beside his bed.
"Now all you've got to do is wake up," she said. "You can complain about the food, flirt with the nurses, and tell every doctor in this hospital that you're ready to leave before you can walk without help."
A small laugh slipped out, though it faded when she saw that he did not react.
"You'd probably tell me you could run a marathon with a broken leg and one lung," she murmured. "Then you'd ask whether I wanted to bet money on it, because apparently you enjoy making terrible decisions for fun."
She reached for his hand carefully, avoiding the IV line and the bruises along his knuckles. His fingers felt warm beneath hers, and that small detail made something inside her chest tighten.
"When the doctor said you were critical, I didn't know what to do," Lanie admitted. "I kept waiting for someone to tell me they were wrong. I kept thinking you'd wake up, say something stupid, and make everyone in that waiting room angry because you refused to take anything seriously."
Her thumb moved slowly across the back of his hand.
"There were so many things I never told you. I kept thinking I had time, and then I saw you in that hospital hallway after the tunnel collapsed. You were covered in blood, barely conscious, and still trying to ask whether Kate had made it out."
Lanie lowered her gaze.
"The thought of losing you was..." She couldn't finish it.
The words stayed between them for several seconds.
She had spent months avoiding those words in one form or another, changing the subject whenever Travis asked what they were doing, what they wanted, or whether there could be something more than stolen nights and casual promises.
"I loved what we had at first," she said quietly. "It was easy. You made me laugh, we went on dates, and neither of us had to pretend the future meant anything serious. I told myself that was enough because it felt safe."
Her mouth tightened into a faint, unhappy smile.
"Then you started wanting more, and every time you brought it up, I found a reason to avoid the conversation. I called it being practical. I said I didn't want to complicate things. The truth was that I was scared of what came after people started making promises."
Lanie leaned back slightly, her eyes drifting toward the window.
"My first relationship happened when I was still in high school. His name was Derek, and at first, he seemed perfect. He was funny, charming... He made me feel important when I was still trying to figure out who I wanted to be."
Her expression changed as the memory settled over her.
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