Year 2 – Shift 18 – Project Zeta: The Cumback Tour – Muffin
“So, we have Octo-Nut and the Tit-Mouse, right?” Muffin bounced on her heels as her honey trio looked over the two chests.
The Tit-Mouse’s chest was pale birch wood adorned with rose-gold hinges. On top, a tiny, hyper-realistic mouse looked absolutely terrified as she grew massive, oversized boobs.
“It’s so cute!” Kaori beamed as she looked at the tiny triple-J-cup mouse on the delicate box. “I want one!”
“We do!” Mora gushed. “The Sperm-Whale is in Dad’s rumpus room, and we just need to find the last one!”
“The Camel-Toe!” Muffin chirped and pointed high into the sky. “There! The Stardust Cumservatorium!”
High over the nearly dried-up Dumpster Ocean was a large, glistening, slightly yellowed ivory tower that once housed all the world’s knowledge but now sat untouched, its magnificent cumfall reduced to a flaccid spectacle of rare drips.
“I hate that we lost it.” Mora growled. “Tater Tot fucking refused to send help to the cummentals…”
Kaori and Muffin immediately wrapped around her beneath her arms.
“We will find out what’s up there!” Muffin cheered, inhaling the chlorine, strawberry shampoo, and honey-thick healing salve clinging to Mora.
“Then we cuddle all night again!” Kaori snuggled deep into Mora’s chest.
“You both know if we use Hanakaze Sangumi too soon, people are going to think it’s a crutch.” Mora’s sweet, revolutionary words tickled all the way down Muffin’s spine. “Tonight, we bleed like bad bitches so everyone can eat like queens.”
“Eeee!” Muffin and Kaori squealed as Mora threw her arms out, releasing them and pointing up.
She looked at each of them with a playful grin. “Meet you at the top!”
Mora launched from the ground and flew toward the Skeetskraper on the magical floating island. Muffin and Kaori shot each other surprised giggles, then quickly gave chase. Kaori shifted into a giant white-throated needletail, and Muffin jumped onto her back, giving her a big, floofy, feathery hug as she took off after Mora.
“Go, Birdori!” Muffin laughed as they caught Mora in seconds. Birdori rolled upside down and rubbed her feathery tummy against Mora’s, exchanging a squee before dropping Muffin into a graceful backflip and exhilarating freefall, her long honey-gold hair wispy in the wind.
Muffin rolled over and saw her honey trio speeding up as her tummy tickled at the sensation of falling. Half a second later, a dimension door opened immediately beneath her. She rolled forward through it, belly down. The impact was hard, but Birdori retracted her wings for a beat to compensate, rocketing forward with Mora half a pace ahead as they shot high above the island.
“Look at that!” Muffin pointed at a monstrosity in the center of the island that immediately launched eight thick, fleshy cockdrils at them.
They rolled in sync and boosted high over the giant, bulbous, hairy coin purse, tightly pinched to the ground by a metal clamp.
Mora came to a halt and hovered. Birdori followed suit.
“The Elder Gland!”
“Oh no,” Muffin said. “Phallilithids!”
“Tweet tweet tweet!” Birdori chirped in bird.
“You’re right!” Mora pressed a fingerless-gloved hand into her other fist.
“It’s time!” Muffin squealed. “Ready?”
Mora cracked her neck from side to side. “Ready, my Muffy Muff!”
“Tweet tweet!” Kaori shivered with anticipation and swooped toward the nearest patch of flat land on the island, a small stretch of grass just outside the city wall with nothing but sky on all sides.
Birdori shifted back just before they landed safely on their feet beside Mora.
They stood in a triangle, facing each other and giggling as the wind kicked up and swirled around them, engulfing them in a sweetly scented golden mist.
And then it began.
Muffin twirled around, stepped once into the center, and threw her arms over her head, revealing her new outfit. Layered black skirts over biker shorts. An oversized, well-worn, soft yellow cropped hoodie with a giant adorable bee in the center. The rips and tears in the hoodie were badly stitched but done with the love of her community. Stickers and patches, some upside down and never fixed, and gifts from all the Etokuso kids adorned everything, of course. People just kept giving her stuff, and she just kept adding it. All her colors were soft, and everything showed hard-use wear.
“No Crowns!”
Kaori did a wild back-twist flip and landed beside Muffin in her new outfit. A sleeveless patched battle jacket fit like she had worn it every day while beating ass to a rhythm of her own. Underneath was a torn black sleeveless tank with HONEYHAMMER written in huge letters across the chest and the same adorable bee logo below. She wore black jeans ripped and shredded to absolute hell and back, and her face showed that she enjoyed every second of it. Sports wraps covered her wrists and left elbow. Layered belts and chains hung above scuffed boots, and her nail polish was chipped. She slung a customized baseball bat over her shoulder and gave Muffin a big, excited grin before tilting her head toward the sky.
“No chains!”
Mora took one calm, peaceful step into the center of her honey trio. Her place in the world where she felt safest. The mist swirled into a rainbow of colors, exploded into a heavy-metal riff, and washed over Mora to reveal her new outfit. She wore a cropped and tattered royal jacket covered in patches and pins with a red, black, and white tartan kilt. Combat boots with AKAB scribbled on one side and STARFUCKER on the other. One expensive royal glove and one wrapped fist. Her eyeliner was smudged black, and her hair was messy on purpose. She wore a necklace with a shattered tiara, earrings made from crowns with missing jewels, and the royal crest on her jacket was painted over.
“No fear!”
The girls were all chains, broken crowns, graffiti, and tons of stickers all over everything. It was like they kept customizing their gear together between battles.
The mist swirled slowly away as Muffin stood tying her wraps.
“Mercy!”
Kaori buzzed with manic energy and slammed her fists together.
“Mayhem!”
Mora stepped over to the royal crest on the wall, hooked two fingers under her skirt, and came back with blood. She smeared it across her father’s sigil with a crooked grin.
“Majesty!”
They giggled playfully as they announced their team name, then turned and launched a massive arcane-infused punch into the stone city wall, shattering through it like it was made of Lego.
“Honeyhammer!”
The wall blew inward, scattering half a dozen addled, brainwashed slaves across a courtyard filled with their phallilithid owners. The Elder Gland sat just out of reach at the far end.
A large coral-colored phallilithid’s eyes widened. Its mouth dicks rose and pointed directly at them as it raised a large snapping lobster claw. A shrill sound burst from its mouth, and dozens more slaves and phallilithids rushed forward.
Mercy was the first into the fray. She charged, jumped, and landed a kick to the face of the lead slave. The mostly human and elven slaves surrounded her instantly, grabbing and hauling her beneath a pile.
Mayhem screamed in chaotic, joyful frenzy as she dove in and started yanking bodies off Mercy and tossing them aside like children.
Majesty ran, stepped off the back of one man on his hands and knees, took another step from the top of the pile, then launched herself over it directly at the lead phallilithid, its dicktacles waving as it controlled the minds of the slaves.
Mercy felt the weight above her shift, then release. It gave her just enough room to get one foot underneath herself and force her way upright, throwing back her attackers.
At the same time, Majesty landed a crushing descending knee to the phallilithid’s chest, caving it in and knocking it bonelessly to the ground. Several slaves went wide-eyed, confused, then fled the fight.
Majesty reared back with a raw battle cry.
“Fuck your control!”
Mayhem ducked a wild swing and came up with an uppercut to the jaw of a short king, knocking him backward into the oncoming wave. A fist landed in her stomach and momentarily doubled her over, but she came back up with a wild smile and launched a fist into the man’s face, spraying a mist of blood across Mercy and the men she was fighting.
“Oops! Sorry, Mercy!”
Mercy felt the warm blood mist her face, and the giddiness came alive. She became a blur of fists and feet as the horde kept coming, pouring from the doors of the surrounding buildings. She twirled and landed a kick to the face of a man who was about to flank Mayhem, returning the favor.
“Back at ya, honeybae!”
Majesty set her sights on the next phallilithid while her honeybaes fended off the fodder. It scuttled sideways toward her, clicking its massive red claws. Majesty ducked the first swipe and rolled through with a solid left hook to its mouth, knocking the dicktacles around like soundless fleshy wind chimes.
She pulled back to hit it again, but a rush of slaves caught her arm and dragged her backward, pinning both arms in their grip. A massive orange crustacean claw backhanded her across the cheek, splitting her lip as the group of slaves hoisted her over their heads in a daze.
Mayhem was already moving. With a manic, warm smile, she slammed her fist into her current opponent’s nose, knocked him down, and sprinted toward Majesty. Instead of avoiding the group of big, scary bodyguards around the phallilithids, she pulled the bat from her back and teed up as the first massive half-giant charged.
Mayhem ran straight at him without losing her smile. Just as the giant reared back to deliver a thundering blow, Mayhem baseball-slid beneath his legs, delivered a crunching bat strike to his massive, hairy, uncovered coin purse, and drove her foot into the next coin purse in line.
She rolled right as the man fell, then the half-giant collapsed onto his back, putting him out of his ball-torture misery.
Mercy’s glowing fists and feet were moving at the speed of ass beating as a hobby. The pile of downed foes kept growing, but another wave poured from the massive building. A cold, heavy object struck her upper back at the base of her neck, and her vision went white.
Fists rained down in her blinded state, catching her ribs, arms, and face in quick succession. She shook off the daze and used a concussive burst to push them back, buying half a second of breathing room.
It wasn’t enough.
A cataclysmic elbow slammed into her eye and dropped her into the pile of aggressors again.
Mayhem paused for one brief second, looking back as Mercy was overwhelmed and dragged down. Then she turned toward Majesty, who was futilely trying to stop crowd-surfing as the slaves passed her overhead, keeping her arms mostly beyond her reach. Occasional punches landed while they carried her toward the looming Skeetskraper.
Mayhem slung the bat over her shoulder, reached down with both hands, and grabbed the chain belt at her waist. Magic surged through her palms, and the chain split and extended as she yanked out two ten-foot lengths.
“Chain Reaction!”
Mayhem flung the chain in her right hand toward Majesty. Majesty struggled to wrench her sleeve from the grasp of the men beneath her, then caught it and wrapped it around her wrist with a cinch.
“Help Mercy!” Mayhem called as she ripped Majesty away from the crowd and sent her spinning through the air. With her other hand, Mayhem swung the second chain through the nearest phallilithids. “I’ll take out the silly cock mouths with reach!”
Mercy was smothering. It was blistering beneath all the bodies. Her back and ribs absorbed blow after blow while sharp nails and claws raked at her skin. She twisted, turned, pulled, and pushed, but she couldn’t get enough leverage to fight back with her legs trapped underneath her.
Majesty sailed through the air toward the pile, released the chain, and landed like a cannonball on top of it, splashing the group apart.
The next thing Mercy saw was the pile opening into a hole and the cutest black-eyed smile she had ever seen delivering a playful, knowing wink.
“Can I join the sweaty guy pile party?”
Mercy’s eyes widened in recognition of their ongoing discussion about dynamics, and she gasped as she stifled a squee. She reached out and clapped down, linking her now-glowing hand with Majesty’s.
“This is gonna be so fun!”
A chaotic, beautiful energy flowed through them and surged bright yellow.
“Safespace!”
A magical dome appeared around them and blasted every enemy back ten feet.
Mercy could breathe again. The pressure of the bodies was gone for a few seconds. She rolled over, kipped up, then reached down to pull Majesty to her feet and into a deep, warm hug.
“Look at our girl!”
Mayhem flung one chain and tagged the first phallilithid inside the dome, then launched the second toward one of the more important-looking ones. A massive hand caught it mid-swing.
She tugged.
The ogre yanked back, pulling Mayhem toward him as he raised a massive foot and kicked her in the face with enough force to flip her backward over her own head. She landed face-down, bleeding and unmoving.
“MAYHEM!” Mercy and Majesty screamed from inside their nearly depleted bubble, surrounded by bodies pressing against it from every angle.
Majesty looked into Mercy’s eyes with a seriously big smile. Mercy returned it and grabbed both her hands, admiring the cut above Majesty’s eye with glee and love.
They got giddy, then pointed simultaneously at the giant ogre.
“Golden Hour!”
Both glowed with golden energy, crashed their knuckles together, and giggled just as the barrier fell and they took their first step out.
They dashed through the crowd with a magical assault of blows. Mercy’s fists, feet, and leg strikes moved lightning-fast, crunching through wave after wave of faceless foes created, no doubt, from the missing cum.
Majesty threw her hands forward and cheered.
“Baby Doomy Scarabees!”
A massive cone of adorably cute baby half-scarab, half-bees wearing emo clothes sprayed from her hands, attacking and clearing a clean path. Mercy and Majesty rushed forward, slid on their knees to Mayhem’s sides, and pulled her smiling, battered face from the pavement.
“I love waking up to these two faces!” Mayhem spat a gob of blood onto the ground as they pulled her to her feet.
The massive ogre stood between them and the final two phallilithids.
“We gotta get in that building!” Mercy pointed behind the Elder Gland as she walked confidently toward the ogre with a smile.
“The waves won’t stop until it’s dead.” Mayhem wiped crimson from her brow, then pointed. “Ooh! Look! Butterfly!”
“Then we make it dead!” Majesty knelt to tie her combat boot.
The ogre charged when it saw the distracted women.
“HONEYTRAP!”
They sprang in unison.
Mercy ducked. Mayhem planted one hand against her back and vaulted over her while pulling the bat free. She came around with a massive blow across the ogre’s dome, staggering it backward for Mercy to strike with a flurry of golden fists to the stomach.
Majesty finished cinching her laces, rose, and delivered a devastating left-handed uppercut with the force of a true princess.
The ogre stumbled backward and flattened the last two phallilithids, leaving a clear path between the trio and the Elder Gland.
With the next wave of fodder about to hit, they had no time to fawn or plan. They exchanged one quick glance and three puffy-eyed smiles before pressing into the zone of whipping dicks and pulsating flesh-encased orbs.
Mercy ducked as a dick whipped overhead. As she rose, another cracked across her face and blackened her eye. She stumbled for only a second before launching into the next approaching one, kicking straight through it and sending torrents of blood everywhere.
Mayhem grappled another as it swung past and was quickly whipped high above the battlefield.
Majesty went straight for the scrote. She landed several hits, but the fleshy, hairy shield absorbed every blow. A second later, a dicktacle slammed to the ground between them, followed by Mayhem crashing beside it and cracking a rib.
Before they could even gasp, Mayhem pushed herself upright.
“Uchi, sugoi yan!” She brushed herself off, slipping into her native tongue.
Mercy stepped quickly behind Mayhem. Majesty moved in front and dropped to one knee. Mayhem took a knee next.
Mercy stomped the ground hard, sending a glowing golden shockwave outward and pushing the crowd back the final inch they needed. The glow persisted as she ran, took one step from Mayhem’s back, another from Majesty’s, and launched into the air.
Mayhem ran and pushed from Majesty’s back, front-flipped, and caught Majesty’s upstretched hand. She continued through the rotation and hurled Majesty higher into the sky as a giant, adorable black-and-gold hammer materialized in Majesty’s hands, dripping golden liquid.
Mercy landed a heavy glowing strike against the center of the Elder Gland. Mayhem smashed the fleshy mass with her bat.
Then Majesty came down from above with the hammer.
“HONEYHAMMER!”
A loud shriek resonated through the balls of every man. They all crumpled to their knees and withered as the Elder Gland’s dicktacles flailed wildly in its death throes.
Mercy ducked one and pulled Mayhem down with her, but another caught Majesty and launched her viciously through a giant window in the building they needed to enter.
“MAJESTY!”
They raced toward the shop, dodging collapsing pillars and buildings knocked over by the flying dicks.
As they reached it, Majesty kicked the door open from inside. She held a battered sandstone chest strapped with thick, tarnished brass. On top sat a highly detailed, incredibly smug camel standing victoriously, aggressively grinding its split hooves into the center of a giant, deeply fleshy, disturbingly accurate anatomical vulva.
Majesty’s right arm lay completely shredded on the ground beside her, blood streaking down her side.
“Time to go home, girls!” She still smiled through the injury. “Mission accomplished.”
Mercy and Mayhem flocked to their honeybae.
Mayhem took the chest. “Majesty, you’re hurt!”
Mercy caught Majesty and pressed her hand against the ruined shoulder, stopping the bleeding as she met the look of absolute satisfaction and love in her eyes.
“I think she’s going to be okay.”
Majesty shrugged with her remaining arm.
“I’m just glad the Stardust Café is going to be in full swing again!”