Chapter 178: I Once Wanted to End It All
"I finally understand why you never returned to Konoha."
"Or rather... why you never revealed to anyone that you were still here."
After hearing Minato's plan, Kakashi let out a bitter laugh.
"If you had appeared too early, or even taken control of Konoha again, it would have had the opposite effect."
"Everyone would simply assume this was Konoha's ambition."
Minato nodded gently.
"My original plan was for Jiraiya-sensei to carry it out."
"He would have been the most suitable person."
"To be honest, I never intended to tell you any of this."
"You would continue accompanying Naruto."
"You would guide their growth as their teacher."
"You would contribute your own strength."
"There was no need for you to carry this burden as well."
"If you feel unable to accept it, or unable to shoulder it..."
"I hope you can understand."
"Before you leave, I'll ask Lord Kurama to seal these memories."
"You don't need to feel pressured."
"You can leave everything to us..."
...
Leave everything to him.
How familiar.
How reassuring.
Wasn't that how he'd always lived?
And this time, Minato's plan was already so complete.
Just as his teacher had said, even if he knew nothing, he would still end up making the right choices under Minato's guidance.
Yet after a long silence, Kakashi shook his head.
"Sensei."
"Do you remember when I first became a jōnin?"
"The first mission where you made me squad leader?"
A faint smile appeared beneath his mask.
"I was excited."
"I wanted to show everyone what I could do."
"I tried to show off in front of you."
"In the end, all I did was create more trouble for you."
His gaze lowered toward his hand.
That hand.
The hand that had pierced Rin's chest.
For a very long time, Kakashi had been haunted by nightmares.
No matter how many times he washed them, he could always see blood covering his fingers.
"I couldn't keep my promise to Obito."
"I failed to protect Rin."
"In fact... I was the one who took her life."
"I also failed to protect Lady Kushina when it mattered most."
"After you... left..."
"I believed I had lost everything worth protecting."
"I thought all of it happened because of my own weakness."
"Because of my own incompetence."
His palm slowly pressed against his chest.
Back then, it had felt as though something inside had been hollowed out forever.
"So, Sensei."
"You weren't wrong."
"The Hatake Kakashi you once knew wasn't worthy of trust."
"He was so weak..."
"That there were times he wanted to end everything."
As he spoke, Kakashi looked up and smiled.
Though his face remained covered, the emotions within that smile were unmistakable.
Numbness.
Emptiness.
Self-loathing.
Mockery.
And beneath it all—
A grief that had never truly faded.
"Sensei."
"That seal from back then..."
"When I tried to assassinate Naruto..."
"You were the one who asked Kurama—"
"No..."
"Asked Lord Kurama to place it on me, weren't you?"
...
"You overcame it."
Minato did not deny it.
In truth, Kakashi was correct.
That seal had not been Kurama's idea.
It had been Minato's wish.
The moment Kakashi attempted to kill Naruto, the Nine-Tails' seal had loosened for the first time.
And Minato had felt Kurama's killing intent.
Even knowing that Kakashi would one day become Naruto's trusted comrade, Kurama had never intended to spare him if he threatened Naruto.
To Kurama, the Kakashi standing there at that time was not the Kakashi he remembered.
No one understood human beings better than Kurama.
No matter the reason, Kakashi's actions had disappointed Minato deeply.
Yet Minato also understood why his student had become that way.
This was a disciple he had once placed great hopes upon.
He couldn't simply watch him die.
So Minato had requested a sealing technique from Kurama.
That seal wasn't merely meant to protect Naruto.
It was also meant to protect Kakashi.
And it was then that Minato realized Kurama was far easier to reason with than he'd imagined.
The fox's only true bottom line was Naruto's safety.
Even now, whenever Kurama mentioned seals, he was simply reminding Kakashi that he had not forgotten the attempted assassination all those years ago.
...
"Yeah."
"I overcame it."
Kakashi smiled bitterly.
"Sensei."
"You must have been very disappointed in me back then."
"I think Obito was disappointed too."
"That's why he never returned to the village after surviving."
"That's why he joined the Akatsuki."
Minato quietly listened.
Yet he also noticed something important.
Kakashi knew part of the truth.
But not all of it.
Minato had no intention of telling him that Obito had been responsible for the Nine-Tails Incident and the deaths of both himself and Kushina.
Anyone else could judge Obito.
Anyone else could condemn him.
But not Kakashi.
Not from Minato's perspective.
And not as Obito's teammate.
...
"I've spent my entire life receiving things from others."
"Yet I've accomplished almost nothing."
"Without the guidance all of you gave me..."
"I might still be trapped in self-pity even now."
"Perhaps in your eyes I'd still be that immature child."
"The one unworthy of being entrusted with something important."
Kakashi moved the hand resting on his chest upward.
His fingers touched the forehead protector covering Obito's Sharingan.
"But, Sensei."
"Perhaps the old me wasn't qualified."
"But the person standing before you now carries more than your will."
"I carry the future that Obito and Rin gave their lives to protect."
"I carry Naruto's dream."
"I understand your plan."
"But please allow me to be arrogant one more time."
"With my help, it can become even better."
"You have no reason to reject my support."
After all—
Kakashi's mismatched eyes shone brightly.
"I'm someone's teacher now, too."
Behind him, Minato could almost see two familiar figures standing there.
Obito.
Rin.
Just as they had in the past.
Smiling beneath the sunlight.
Minato placed a hand on Kakashi's shoulder.
His eyes softened with pride.
"Looks like there won't be any need for another seal after all."
A massive fox head suddenly emerged beside them.
Kurama clicked his tongue dramatically.
"What a shame."
"What a shame indeed."
Kakashi immediately bowed his head.
"My apologies for my previous disrespect, Lord Kurama."
After Minato had explained the truth, he now understood that Kurama had hidden much of his own power to protect Naruto.
And that Minato's continued existence itself depended on Kurama's chakra.
Without that explanation, Kurama would undoubtedly have mocked him for years.
"Hmph. Forget it."
Kurama waved it off.
"Besides, Sasuke's about to arrive."
"I originally came here to add another seal onto you."
"But since that's unnecessary now, let's talk about something else."
The giant fox lowered his head slightly.
"Tell me something, Kakashi."
"When exactly did you encounter that Fourth Mizukage?"
"And did you ever see Isobu..."
His eyes narrowed.
"Or as you humans call it... the Three-Tails?"
Read 50 chapters ahead on P@treon -> [email protected]/AiraTales7 (replace @ with a)
