Retired S-rank father becomes a teacher

Somewhere, in Nagasaki, Japan, a B- class dungeon lay dormant. It wasn't a world-ender but it was a radioactive headache.

It was the first time the Hunter Association tried to nuke a dungeon but the radiation leaked out of the dungeon and the area had to be quarantined.

It was still dangerous to enter without proper equipment and permission from the Association. Silas had neither. He was standing in a forest with his niece, looking at a giant black metal door that served as the entrance to the dungeon. It looked like it came out of a science fiction movie.

He glanced at Hailey. She was wearing a pink hazmat suit and holding a bowl in her hands, with chopsticks resting on it. Her goggles covered her eyes, making her look like an adorable bug. A camera was attached to the side of her helmet, recording everything.

“Hailey you can’t record us breaking into a dungeon,” he sighed, rubbing his face.

She pouted, “But this is content! People love illegal stuff.”

Of course they do, Silas thought. And the Association loves throwing people in jail for it.

“No.” He shook his head, “Also why are you wearing that suit? You know I can shield us from radiation and monsters. Take that stupid thing off.”

Hailey crossed her arms. “I like it. It makes me feel professional.”

She then turned around and pointed her camera at the dungeon door.

“Today, we are going to try to get the secret ingredient for my ultimate ramen dish at Nekoramencon. The glowing noodles of doom!” She exclaimed.

She really got the Vane dramatics. With a chuckle, Silas teleported her suit and camera into his pocket dimension, which was really just an asteroid he used to store junk.

His niece whined as her outfit vanished and she was now wearing jeans and a hoodie.

“Uncle. It feels weird when you do that like my butt is being sucked into a black hole.”

Ignoring her, he looked at the door and focused on his space magic.

“Wait did you see me naked when you did that? Did you see my panties?” She covered her adorable butt.

Silas rolled his eyes, “I already saw your ramen panties when we were in your room. You should clean up more.” He said, folding the door open.

He felt the rush of hot air and mana come from the inside. It was thick, toxic and full of radiation.

The dungeon was like a nuclear forest, glowing green mushrooms and plants grew everywhere. They walked forward, stepping on soft moss and avoiding some poisonous vines.

He told his niece to hold his hand.

The deeper they went, the stranger the dungeon became. The flora and fauna were mutated into grotesque shapes, some of them still alive and hostile.

A giant mushroom jumped at them, releasing spores in their direction. He snapped his fingers and it was crushed, splattering green liquid on the ground and into the barrier in front of Hailey.

She chuckled, “It squirted like a hentai monster. I should use this as content for my—”

He coughed loudly and glared at her, “Hailey... dungeons are not the place for jokes.”

She looked down and mumbled. “Says the man who undressed me and looked at my butt without even buying me dinner first,” She stuck her tongue at him.

A sharp prickled at the back of Silas neck. She was treating dungeons like a playground; it was dangerous and ignorant.

His hand moved faster than she could react and the sound of a slap echoed in the dungeon. She yelped, her hand flying to her backside to cover it.

“Oww! That hurt.”

“Enough Hailey Vane. This is serious. Now behave or I’ll teleport you back home.”

Her face flushed and she bit her lip. Was it from embarrassment or something else? That didn’t matter. The one thing he won’t do was let her think dungeons were a place to fool around in. People die in dungeons everyday.

They continued their journey in silence, reaching the center of the dungeon where a giant glowing pond waited. The water was bright neon green. It looked like it was boiling.

Silas frowned and used his spatial sense to scan the water. There was something there. A monster. A big one. The radiation on top of the B-rank mana distorted his senses like light in the ocean. But he could tell the monster was down there.

Hailey paused beside him, looking at the water with awe. She pulled out a ladle from her bag, ready to scoop some of the liquid into her bowl and taste it.

He teleported her back behind him and held his hand up, stopping her. She huffed.

“Just hurry up and kill it already. Stop holding back or whatever you’re doing. It’s not like it can hurt you.” She complained, her cheeks puffed out.

Tilting his head he looked at his niece. Why was she suddenly so pushy?

“What’s wrong Hailey?”

She opened her mouth, ready to speak but then her eyes widened as she looked over his shoulder. A big splash of water and a roar made him turn.

The monster leaped out of the pond, looking like a mutated octopus with eyes on every tentacle. It was made of noodles. Glowing noodles that were probably toxic enough to kill a normal person. And its size was huge, easily a few floors tall.

Hailey grabbed her uncle’s arm. Her usual excited expression turned into fear. It was the first time she was actually seeing a B-rank monster in a dungeon. She thought it would be cool. Now that she saw it, she wasn’t so sure anymore.

“Dad...” she whispered, forgetting that she called him uncle most of the time.

A memory flashed through Silas’s mind. Years ago when Lisa and Hailey lived with them for a while. There were three little girls calling him dad. Vic, Kat and Hailey. Three daughters.

The tentacles shot towards him, sharp, ready to pierce him. His face turned cold, his eyes glowing bright. With a wave of his arm, he sliced through them, cutting them off like hot butter.

The monster roared in pain but regenerated its limbs almost instantly.

So he was gonna have to put more effort?

He stepped forward and held out his hand. Black holes were off-limits because he still needed to get the meat of this thing for Hailey’s recipe. Spatial blade it is.

They formed around the monster. It tried to swim away, but the blades cut through its tentacles, pinning it in place. It let out a deafening sound, causing Hailey to cover her ears. Her eardrums would have ruptured if he hadn’t protected her.

With another snap, the blades cut the monster into pieces, into neat cubes and he laid them neatly on the floor.

Hailey stared, mouth open.

He rolled his shoulders, feeling a bit satisfied with the work. It reminded him of his glory days. But then again, a B-rank was nothing.

Turning to Hailey, he raised an eyebrow. She snapped out of her stupor and scratched the back of her head.

“You haven’t called me dad in ages...what gives?” he asked as he took the bowl from her and started filling it with the glowing noodle meat.

She avoided his gaze and looked at the floor. Her hair was a tangled mess.

“I don’t know... I guess I missed you.” she groaned as if admitting that was the worst thing ever.

She started pacing up and down, “Mom never talked about my actual dad. She hates him. But you...you’re the only dad I really know.” Her voice was low and shaky.

Punching a tree, she took a deep breath. “I know I’m not your actual daughter but...sometimes I wish I was. I know you love Kat and Vic more than me and that’s fine because I have mom...but you’re like the cool uncle who’s also my dad and—ugh this is so embarrassing.” She hid her face in her hands.

A tightness formed in his chest. He stepped forward and grabbed her in a hug. His brother was her dad, not him. But a knot formed in his stomach. If his brother treated Hailey like he treated Lisa...

His heart squeezed. Fuck. It hurt. Why couldn’t they just be heroes? Why did they have to be such terrible husbands?

“It’s okay, Hailey. You can call me dad if you want. I don’t mind.” He patted her back.

She sniffled and looked up at him, her eyes wet with tears. But she smiled.

“Really? You’re not just saying that to make me feel better? Cause you can be an insensitive jerk sometimes.” She chuckled.

He ruffled her hair, messing it up even more. “Of course. I love you. You are my family. My niece, my daughter. Call me whatever you want. I don’t care about the names as long as you know I got your back no matter what.”

She threw her arms around his neck and squeezed him tight. He hugged her back, lifting her up from the ground and spinning her around like she was a little kid.

“Okay that’s enough I’m gonna get sick.”

He laughed and put her down, giving her one last squeeze.

Taking the bowl of noodles from her, he nodded towards the exit. “Let’s go home and cook this...thing. I want to see if it tastes as bad as it looks.”

Hailey nodded and walked beside him, holding his hand. The rest of the dungeon was clear and soon they were back at her apartment. Lisa was still sitting on the couch with her weird popcorn watching some TV show about vampires falling in love.

“Hey you guys are back. How was it?” She turned to look at them and her eyes went to the bowl.

“That looks nasty. What the hell is it?” She made a face, a few popcorns still in her mouth.

Hailey grinned. “That mom is a super secret ingredient that will make me the Ramen Queen.” She ran to the kitchen, excited to start her masterpiece.

Lisa turned to her brother-in-law and tilted her head.

“Did something happen? She looks even brighter than usual.” She patted the seat next to her and Silas sat down, taking a few of the popcorns and munching on them.

He forgot they tasted terrible. Oh well.

“She called me dad. After all this time,” He said softly, looking at the kitchen door.

Rubbing her eyes, Lisa sighed, “I see...” She didn’t say anything more. Just grabbed a can of beer from under the coffee table, opening and taking a big gulp.

He got up and grabbed a can for himself too before going to the kitchen to make ramen for Hailey. From a radioactive monster.