Melia the Magnificent

Something that Melia had never considered was how a nonessential skill from the game would transfer over to real life. Now, many skills might be classified as “nonessential,” and the usefulness of any skill could be debated given the specific circumstances. Still, there was one in particular that should never have a direct correlation from digital to real.

And that was manipulating a mount via “mouse” controls.

Technically, the game didn’t use a mouse, as it was virtual reality, but people tended to refer to the third-person setup as mouse and keyboard in a nod to original pioneering MMOs.

Regardless of the exact control scheme involved, riding a mount in the game didn’t translate at all to riding in real life. And mounts in the game didn’t behave like animals in real life. For example, one of the more common ways to fool around while loafing in a main city was to jump continuously over large gaps in a road. Horizon featured a multi-level design where players risked falling down several stories if they missed their jump. At the same time, places like Loth Elonen in the Everbloom or Ala Tidus in the beastkin republic had rivers. For players who scoffed at getting wet as punishment for messing up or weren’t inconvenienced by having to climb up several flights of ramps to try again, they might attempt to jump the gaps in Deepholme. The dwarven Stronghold had a flowing river of molten iron pouring out of its Great Forge, and falling into it was slightly more dangerous. While a player might not instantly die, they were usually cooked because ramps leading out of the reservoir were spaced infrequently along the route.

So, for people who chose to indulge in the fruitless art of gap-jumping, there was a sort of unspoken hierarchy of skills and prestige. No self-respecting, bored player who was afking in a main city was content to simply jump a gap and be done. More vague and dubious “points” could be earned by jumping in a popular, crowded area, allowing them to show off. More points would be given if they actively blocked or inconvenienced other players. And then there were the people who could make the jumps faster on a tighter turning radius. Of course, in the game, all mounts moved at the same speed no matter what they were (so long as they were the same tier of mount), but a player who could jump, stop on a dime, instantly pivot 180 degrees, and jump again was clearly superior to someone who had to readjust to position.

So what did that have to do with traveling for hours down the road with a party of people? Melia wasn’t about to leave her friends in the dust, as Midna was clearly a superior mount and could outpace any horse, Strider, or ram. So, she was rather bored after the initial excitement of cross-country travel wore off and the same shadowy trees passed by for the millionth time. Melia was just thinking how, in the game, she would have activated auto-run a long time ago. If the road were particularly straight, she would have taken her “hands” off the controls and seen how long it would have taken before she ran off the road. Or, another of her favorite pastimes on long treks was to jump…and spin as many times as she could in a circle while still landing in the same direction she was traveling. Melia could consistently do a 360, but on rare occasions she could manage a 720. And that was on flat ground…all bets were off if she was jumping off a hill or falling down a cliff!

Good times.

Melia smiled to herself and hummed happily, something that Brandy did not miss.

“Why do I get the feeling you’re plotting something devious?” The elf asked. She sounded exactly like an exasperated older sister, which made Melia giggle harder.

“I’m not devious,” she denied. “I was just thinking of all the acrobatics we used to pull while on long rides.”

Melia, who was very short and whose legs couldn’t even reach around Midna’s sides, bounced gleefully in her saddle. The giant cat’s ears perked up as if she’d just received a hidden command; she crouched low, bounced forward several steps…and leaped through the air.

“Waaaah!” Brandy cried out in surprise, while Melia laughed joyously. She could hear several gasps as her companions spurred their animals forward to catch up, while Midna kept walking forward as if nothing had happened.

“Melia,” Brandy hissed, “What was that?”

“Ooh,” Melia cooed, patting Midna enthusiastically on her flank, “Who’s a good girl? Who’s such a good girl?”

“Ey!” Jessica barked as her ram trotted up. “Warn us if you’re going to go bolting ahead! We need to keep up!”

“That was an impressive jump,” Al said. “What were you trying to get away from?”

Melia turned and saw the [Paladin] looking at the ground behind them, as if he was expecting to find a large crack in the ground or a pothole in the road.

“Ehehe,” Melia giggled. “Nothing. No reason. We’re just having fun!”

“Fun,” Ellesea said, sitting primly on her horse. “While riding through a spooky forest.”

It was clear she had other opinions on the matter, but Lethia smoothly guided her horse between them.

“Mistress, if you wish to cut loose, we will remain with the others.”

“Really?” Melia perked up. She tilted her head back to stare up at Brandy. “Please?”

“What are you asking me for?” Brandy laughed. “It’s your cat.”

Melia leaned forward and ran her hands through Midna’s thick, deep blue fur.

“Do you want to run around?” Melia whispered. The cat’s ears flicked eagerly. She tilted her head to the side, and Melia could see a glint of excitement in her eyes.

“Hold on, Brandy!”

“To what?!” The elf panicked. It wasn’t like Midna came installed with handrails.

“To me!! So I don’t fly away!!”

“This was a mistaaaaake!!!!”

Melia lost track of Brandy’s wail as her own shrieking laughter filled her ears. Midna didn’t need to be told twice: she bolted away from the group the second she was given permission. She accelerated at a blinding pace, quickly surpassing any bike or small car Melia had ridden in. Trees whipped by left and right, but Midna wove between them seamlessly, perfectly aware of her riders and keeping them out of striking distance of reaching branches or hanging trees. She broke through a thick grove into an open field of rolling hills and began zooming up and down them like a runaway rollercoaster. She’d pick up speed in the dips and let loose with a mighty bound at the peaks, soaring high into the air, clearing entire mini valleys and landing on the downward slope of a distant hill.

Eventually, the rest of [Sunrise] caught up and stopped at the edge of the clearing, transfixed at watching the bizarre cat, gnome, and high elf blur as it frolicked around the field.

“Had your fun?” Jessica asked as Midna came slinking up. Melia wouldn’t say that the big cat was tired, but she certainly got the zoomies out of her system. Now she was back to her stalking, aloof nature.

“Yes,” Melia answered for her, since Midna couldn’t talk. “We should have gone trick-riding so much sooner!”

Behind her, Brandy nodded enthusiastically.

“Next time, we should try the one where you start by jumping forward, but you try to reverse your momentum so you’re moving backward, but you’re still jumping forward.”

“Ooooh,” Melia agreed. “Like a moonwalk! Or, I suppose, a moonjump.”

“Moonwalk?” Y’cennia asked, glancing at the high elf seriously. “Is that a dance of your people?”

“Yes,” Melia grinned impishly, earning a groan from Brandy.

“No,” she said. “Don’t give the poor girl weird ideas. Y’cennia, just because it has the word moon in it doesn’t mean it’s part of elvish culture.”

​

The group worked the animals for several more hours as the day wore on…though perhaps that was a bit of a misnomer, considering it was always dark inside Whispershade. After Midna’s little adventure, the group kept mostly to the main road, which was clear of monsters and travelers alike. Though the further away they got from StoneCairne, approaching the middle of the zone, the more obvious spawn signs became. At one point, a large black [Warg] peeked its head from the depths of a rocky den, but it took one look at the group and decided it didn’t want any of what they were selling. Perhaps, in a previous life, [Sunrise] would have been afraid.

Now they debated if it was worth dismounting to kill the thing. On top of having to slow down their travels, it was “only” level 380, which, while close to their own, would give very little experience when shared amongst the group, and they weren’t in need of a single, skinned coat.

Besides sightseeing the local fauna, Alastair made an interesting observation.

“Those mountains,” he said, pointing to the south when a break in the trees allowed them to see a little further. “Do they border the entire zone?”

As it so happened, they did. At least along the south and east, while a river created the north and west boundaries. However, as their destination lay to the south, they eventually needed to find a way through them.

“Yes,” Melia answered. “But thankfully, there’s a pass. Midna would be fine, and I’m sure ol’ Stumpy McGee would too, but I don’t know if we’d be able to take the horses. If I remember the area correctly, there’s a fork in the road that drives straight south and leads to a valley. I think we should plan to make camp at the entrance to the valley.”

“Is it that far away?” Alastair asked. He made sure to memorize Melia’s map, and while it was crude (by her standards), the distances didn’t seem to match up. “We should be getting close.”

“We’ve been traveling for several hours,” Ellesea pitched in. “But I think after the…roughness of yesterday, we’re a bit more acclimated to travel. Jessica, what does your butt say?”

“Butt’s good,” Jessica nodded sagely. “We’ve still got several more hours of daylight to burn.”

The group all stared up into the starry, moonlit sky.

“You know what I mean.”

“How far away is the fork?” Y’cennia asked. Melia appreciated that everyone was taking travel seriously, but inwardly, she was shaking her head.

“About an hour, if I’ve been reading the landmarks right,” Alastair said.

Unlike the road to Abbyton (or, indeed, a California highway), there were no convenient signposts pointing to their destination. The last marker [Sunrise] passed was about 10 miles ago at the junction leading toward the [Palace of Darkness].

“And after that, if Melia’s map is accurate, about 2 hours until we hit the pass.”

“Great!” Jessica nodded. “We’ve already stopped for lunch, so that leaves at least another 2 hours of riding before we need to make camp. Do we really want to stop so early? Remember, we’ll just have to make up that time tomorrow.”

The others muttered quietly, some agreeing, some hesitantly. Melia finally sighed out loud, shaking her head.

“Let me rephrase that,” she said. “Does anybody know what’s on the other side of that mountain?”

“Sure,” Jessica said. “The entry point to the beastkin lands. I don’t know what it’s called, but it’s high desert, right? Some sort of rusty, reddish, bouldery scrubland? I’ve seen paintings.”

“U’lindala,” Y’cennia said. “The country is called U’lindala. We’re going to Ala Tappas, which is in the south, and it’s more sandy-desert than rocky-desert.”

“You’re not wrong,” Melia said. “But I’m guessing that when you traveled north the first time, you went by carriage?”

“Yes?” Y’cennia chuckled. “I wasn’t going to walk, that’s for sure.”

“Humor me,” Melia grinned. “Did they take you the long way? Did you enter Gold Coast through the Redlands?”

“Yes,” Y’cennia nodded, no longer smiling. “Oh,” she said. She must have realized that the two points didn’t match up. U’lindala was very wide, stretching the total distance of Gold Coast and Whispershade. The Redlands were much further to the west than they were headed.

“This pass is something else,” Melia explained. “No carriage would ever dare to go through there. No matter how fast the horses, they’re just too slow.”

“So, what exactly aren’t you telling us?” Jessica asked. “And what makes it safe for us?”

“Me,” Melia gave the [Hunter] a brilliant smile. “And Brandy. Honestly, in another 2 to 3 hundred levels, I’m sure you’d be able to go through there on your own just fine.”

“Wait,” Ellesea said. “You’re telling me that there’s rank 6 monsters on the other side of the mountains?”

“No,” Melia shook her head. “If I remember correctly, they should be rank 7. And they aren’t on the other side of the mountain; they’re in the mountain pass. The valley we’d be riding through.”

“And how long does it take to get through the valley?” Alastair asked. “Are there any towns or safe zones?”

“Mmmm,” Melia poked her chin in thought. “Half a day? Maybe? And no. It’s desolate.”

“Let me get this straight,” Jessica said with an exasperated sigh. “You want us to ride for 12 hours through a rank 7 wilderness without a place to rest?”

“Yeah!” Melia nodded enthusiastically.

The group all gave her tired looks before turning to Al. He sighed, rubbed his temples, and stared at the mountains.

“Well…we’ve come this far,” he concluded. “We either do as Melia says and camp at the valley’s entrance for the night and…worry about the valley in the morning, or we go back. We can travel to Horizon, go through Gold Coast, hit the Redlands passage, and retrace Y’cennia’s steps back home.”

He turned to the catgirl and gave her a sardonic smile.

“How long did that trip first take you?”

“Almost 2 months,” Y’cennia mewled, her ears drooping.

Obviously, that wasn’t on the cards. Silently, each member of [Sunrise] turned their mount down the path they were heading and continued moving. Behind her, Brandy whispered in Melia’s ear.

“You think you should tell them what we’re walking into?”

“Not yet,” Melia said cheerfully. “It won’t be any danger to them. I’ll make sure of that!”

​

Jessica coaxed her ornery old ram over to the tie-downs Al was making for all their mounts. Despite how grumpy Stumpy was, the coot carried her tirelessly for an entire day, and Jessica wasn’t feeling nearly as malignant toward him today as she was yesterday. She got off, tied his reins to the post, and gingerly touched the insides of her thighs.

No chafing.

She rubbed her hip and hamstring.

Soreness…minimal.

With a cheeky smile, she declared the Buttometer (trademark pending) firmly in the yellow. It wasn’t green; she was still tired and she winced with each step she took, but she no longer felt like she was going to be permanently bowlegged for the rest of her life. Now to actually create the machine to match the name…as soon as she could get a [Mage] to magic it up. Sadly, Ellesea already laughed at her ingenious idea. Who needed a magic tool to rate how sore one’s butt was? Jessica was sure there was a market.

She made sure Stumpy (and the rest of the mounts) were adequately fed and watered before turning to face the camp. She was both happy and vexed. Once again, the entire camp was set up for them. Those [Retainers] were miracle workers and Jessica wouldn’t be persuaded otherwise. She wasn’t complaining that she didn’t have to spend the next 30 minutes fighting with tent poles and draw-lines, but now she had nothing to do for the next few hours. Unlike Ellesea, Jessica didn’t have any books to read.

“Jess!”

A bright and bubbly voice drew Jessica’s eyes to the ground. She saw Melia bouncing toward her and she smiled. She didn’t think she’d ever tired of (or used to) the tiny bundle of chaos. On anybody else, the gnome’s dress and whole…aesthetic might feel quite dominating. But Jessica couldn’t think of it as anything else but harmless and she needed to resist the urge to laugh.

“It’s feeding time. Will you come with me?”

Until she went and said something like that. The primal part of Jessica’s brain always short-circuited when she remembered that the gnome was really a dragon who wanted to eat everything. Literally everything. If it had meat on its bones, this damn gnome would find a way to stuff it in her mouth and greedily chomp it down. And that was the problem, because Jessica knew for a fact that there was nothing worth eating in this zone, not like there was in Melia’s other favorite hunting grounds.

…could they really be called hunting grounds?

More like snack aisles. Or a particularly robust farmer’s market. One where Melia might try to bargain for a few more turnips at half price. Except, instead of turnips, the gnome was gobbling down 4,000-pound cows.

But Jessica already knew her answer, and unlike her first few trips riding on the dragon’s back, she wasn’t nervous or apprehensive. Some ominous almost-compulsion wasn’t forcing her along. In fact, these days, Jessica looked forward to it. Last time they went out, she got treated to something called [Texas Style Brisket], which was absolutely divine. She had no idea what a Texas was, but it was okay in her book. Along with being smoky beef with incredible flavor, it came with sweet, tangy sauce that Jessica considered drinking by the gallon. Yes, acquiring a Texas was stealthily climbing up Jessica’s “when I become a gazillionaire” list.

Sadly…there was no beef in Whispershade, because if there was, the guild would know about it and she wouldn’t have needed to spend a day hunting giant spiders with a buff maid and a crazy [Alchemist]. That meant…either Melia planned to fly somewhere else for her dinner (hopefully) or else those eight-legged freaks were on the menu. Hopefully not. Like, really, really hopefully not.

“Sure,” Jessica shrugged as if riding on the back of the Destroyer of Worlds to go chow down was no big deal. As always, the gnome’s eyes lit up like Jessica had just given her something precious, and she bounced away to inform her [Retainers]. Jessica watched with wry amusement as Lethia bent down, gently picked Melia up, and fussed over her like a small child. They had some words, which Jessica was too far away to hear, but it must’ve been trivial at best, because the elf put Melia down before bustling around camp, business as usual. Melia waved Jessica over and she sighed, preparing her heart for the tension that was about to hit her.

No matter how many times she saw it, she’d never get over the wave of absolute terror.

Meliastraza made sure to move far enough away from camp that she only knocked down a few trees behind them when she reverted into a towering dragon.

“Oh ho ho ho,” the dragon cackled, raising every tiny hair on Jessica’s body. “I’m feeling like calamari. Have you ever had calamari? Done right, it’s tender, but it can be somewhat chewy. It’s subtly sweet, a little nutty, and it’s amazing when fried with garlic and butter.”

Two things instantly hit Jessica.

One, a fresh wave of apathetic disconnect. How was she supposed to take anything in this life seriously when a world-ending dragon was recommending seafood like a connoisseur?

But the other…relief. Massive relief. Overwhelming, heart-ballooning relief! They weren’t eating spiders!

Oh, thank the gods. Thank every single one of the gods! Even Letharion, god of war and patron deity of demons…with whom they may or may not be at odds, seeing as they were heading toward a direct confrontation involving a Demon Lord! But then again…would Letharion approve? War was war…right? Eh, it was above Jessica’s pay grade. She’d leave that kind of worrying to Al and the [Saint].

“Those are little squids, yeah?” Jessica asked, holding her hands several inches apart. “I’ve seen them in the markets. There’s a stall in Horizon that serves them boiled in hot oil, so I think I’ve got the picture. Those are pretty good.”

“Perfect,” Meliastraza grinned, lowering her head. “Climb on board.”

​

“Yooooouuu tooooold meeee ittttt wassssss squiiiiddddd!” Jessica wailed.

She was wrong. She was dead wrong! And, if all the stars aligned, if she called in every favor with every luck spirit, activated every charm she ever owned, and swore on Al’s holy book…maybe, just maybe, “dead” would not become her! But from where she sat, tied tightly to Meliastraza’s left horn with a chain thicker than her wrists, Jessica sincerely doubted it.

“It is!” Meliastraza bellowed over the raging winds. “What else would you call that thing?!”

“Myyyyy duuuude,” Jessica wailed back, “Thaaaat’s aaaa [Kraaaaaakennnn]!”

The black sky rippled with a blinding flash of light, and Jessica barely had a chance to clamp her hands over her ears and slam her eyes shut as lightning exploded through the clouds. Jessica screamed, her voice muted by the thunder; her body was soaked to the bone, and her hair was plastered to her face by gale-force winds in a hurricane-level storm. As in, a real, legit hurricane. That [Kraken] cast [Hurricane]! The night sky went from “inky black” to “staring into the abyss” in a heartbeat, and Jessica’s eyes went wide with fear as the winds lifted her up off her feet. And yet, as if by magic…because it was magic, these heavy chains appeared out of nowhere, surrounded by the familiar purple of arcane light, and secured her to a horn. But unlike Ellesea’s custom spells, Jessica had no doubts this would never come undone.

“It’s not my fault!” The dragon dared to claim. “I didn’t attack it first!”

Jessica wanted to yell back, but her voice was already gone.

Melistraza’s great plan involved traveling over Gold Coast out into the ocean, a feat that took a dozen minutes at most and left Jessica feeling rather worthless after riding a damn ram for hours on end and traveling a fraction of the distance. From there, she retrieved a net the size of a galleon’s mainsail and filled it full of [Giant Clams]. The dragon wrapped up the net like a tidy parcel…and attached it to her own tail. She then flew out into the open sea until land couldn’t be seen and proceeded to dip her tail into the water. Trawling. This was like modified trawling. Or maybe a combination of trolling and trawling? Either way, Meliastraza was using her own tail to fish.

And after about 10 minutes of hovering apprehensively above the water…they got their first bite.

To be fair, Meliastraza said they were searching for [Giant Squid], and they found [Giant Squid]. More than one, in fact, and the dragon grumped loudly when she got several bites, insisting that they wait their turn and she’d get to them one by one. Logic borne purely from a dragon, surely.

Meliastraza curled her tail between her legs, lifting the [Giant Squid] out of the water, and used her hind legs to impale it with a claw. Jessica had no clue how strong these monsters were, because all they gave her when she tried [Inspecting] them was the gigantic, F-OFF skull of nope, too powerful. But Jessica was ‘k, because these were idiot squids biting a dragon’s tail, and if they were dumb enough to do that, they deserved to become dinner.

And they did. Melia ate the first one…whole. She opened her mouth, huge and impossible-sized, and bit the head off the first squid.

Jessica might have gotten sick if it wasn’t so fascinating. After all, she had the best seat in the house, atop Meliastraza's head. She was practically above the dragon’s left eye.

A few severed tentacles fell back into the ocean, but the dragon had already transitioned into one of her feasting trances. Jessica noticed the dragon did this. When she was a gnome, she could control her hunger, but once she turned back into a beast, all bets were off. She’d never mistake a friend for food; of this, Jessica had no doubt, but it was like the rest of the world…disappeared. Nothing was more important than quelling her ravenous hunger, filling that unyielding void.

So it was that the dragon didn’t notice the ocean churning. [Giant Squid] were slightly more than a mouthful, and all the errant little bits that flung away with every massive chomp chummed the waters. The sky darkened, clouds formed, and still the dragon ate. Meliastraza had feasted on two dozen [Giant Squid] when a soul-rending screech filled the air.

A monster had come forth.

Outraged, to avenge its fallen brethren.

A [World Boss], the terror of the seas, sailors’ bane, destroyer of navies.

…

…

Lunch.

“Jessica! Hold on!!” Meliastraza had the gall to say. “I see a really big one!”

Jessica might have been inclined to believe her. Really. Meliastraza did not lie. Not once, not ever. Not to her treasures, at least. So Jessica put it out of her mind as an idle thought, just another catch for her scally friend’s dinner. And then…BAM. [Hurricane], bitch!

And the craziest part about it?

Meliastraza could have killed it the moment it arrived!

The only reason she didn’t was that she didn’t want to ruin the texture!

Because, of course, Meliastraza wanted to eat it! A [World Boss], and all she could see it as was food!

The dragon started shooting icicles at it, giant, lance-like projectiles that were longer than multiple grown men standing on their heads. She didn’t want to stab it through the eye, because, apparently, it was a good reagent. As if somebody could afford to buy that on the market! Same with the beak, and various parts of the body that Meliastraza pointed out as a [Lightning Sack] and [Void Bladder].

Secretly, Jessica may have voided her own bladder, but since it was storming, she had plausible deniability, and the truth would go with her to her grave.

But…a depressingly short story later, the fight was over. Meliastraza sighed, lowered herself into the water, and hugged the [Kraken] with all four limbs. She then squeezed– literally –the life out of it. And once it was dead…Meliastraza stashed it into her inventory.

The dragon…said nothing. Jessica could tell she was slightly embarrassed, because of the nervous little flutter her eyelids made after she realized what she did. Jessica also said nothing. She was done. Too done. Her apathy levels were breached and she was so over it. Meliastraza slowly floated them back to shore, found a desolate section of beach, and made a huge fire. Jessica didn’t realize [Cooking] skills could be used in dragon form, but then again, why shouldn’t they? Dragons, the real ones who could think and were people, had skills.

The truly outrageous thing to Jessica was that it actually took longer to cook the [Kraken] than it did to kill it. But she got first dibs at [Fried K-Calamari], a 5-star, Mythic quality dish that made her feel like she was about to ascend. Especially after the dragon slipped her a cask of [Honey Mead].

Yes, Jessica now had a buff called [20,000 Leagues Under the Sea], and she was forced to say yarrrr every fourth sentence, but she didn’t care. Heck, for all she did care, whatever awaited them tomorrow in this so-called rank 7 valley was child’s play.

And maybe, just maybe, she’d only tell the rest of the group what the dish came from after they’d eaten it.

¹

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