I Hate Dungeon School

The gemstone hit the floor with a glassy thud, even bouncing a few times before coming to rest. I knew it was a simulated gemstone, but I was disappointed anyway. Some part of me had hoped it was real.

Just as we thought, a field, more like a bubble, enveloped us. I snapped my fingers to test a theory. Silence. It was a two-way silence spell. Nothing in, nothing out. Spoken spells were useless here. Some magic users could do spells without incantations, spell poems, songs, or any number of mnemonics that were used to help channel mana, but I wasn't one of them. Nor did I know any.

And a silence spell like this assured that magic was off the table for whatever horrors decided to fight us today. I was even more glad for the fact that Adhara and Noah were very good fighters. I was no slouch either, of course, but it didn't hurt.

We waited for something to happen. Some kind of surprise attack, teleporting enemies, some kind of weird construct, or even remotely activated traps. The silence continued to stretch on, and it was making my nerves fray even more.

Soon enough, my nerves turned to annoyance as the silence field dissipated without fanfare.

"What in the hells was that? What was the point? Is this nonsense normal in dungeons? Is that why you dungeoneers always seem vaguely pissed off?" Noah said, his usually calm and assured demeanor dropping.

"No, that was definitely weird. Usually, something happens. And I'm kind of disappointed that there wasn't some kind of nefarious trap from similarly nefarious people." I knelt to look at it again. The runes had burnt themselves out, but there were still some leftovers on the pedestal.

Runes, no matter how hard you tried to hide them, always left little burn marks on whatever you had drawn on them. Burn marks aren't quite the correct term, but it's close enough. There was all kinds of information you could get from them if you knew what you were looking for.

Which I didn't. I was definitely not a Runological Forensics type. What I could do was copy down what I saw. I was a fair hand at detailed copying after all those hours in Dungeon Cartography. I swear, I thought my hands would be permanently ink-stained. I pulled out a small notepad and a pencil and copied down what was left of the runes on the pedestal. I'd have to ask around. On the sly, probably.

"Find anything interesting down there?" Adhara asked with an edge of sarcasm in her voice, squatting next to me. Looking at what I had scribbled down.

"Maybe. Going to ask around, see if I can find anything out. I'm not sure if this trap was for us, or someone else, or what. Super weird. And not the first strange anomaly I've run into with this simulator." I scratched the back of my head. This was starting to stump me. Why rig a magic trap that did nothing?

"Is everything ok in there? The final room didn't activate correctly, and the simulator dungeon mana generators completely cut off." Kugarth's voice said from overhead.

"We're ok. We'd like to end the simulation now." I called out.

I turned to the two knights with me. "Don't say anything to him about the weird trap. I want to trust Kugarth and Craw, but this whole thing is weird enough, I think it wouldn't hurt to be extra paranoid for a while."

"Of course." Adhara nodded.

"I'll follow your lead on this, ladies," Noah said, that self-assured and annoying expression returning to his face, though he was still a bit green around the gills from the mana.

"I had to admit, I'm a bit sad I didn't get to see you two fight a dungeon boss. Those can be fun. To a certain definition of fun, I suppose." I said with a dramatic sigh.

The lighting in the dungeon changed to full brightness, and the walls and other elements of the dungeon began to sink into the floor with a cacophony of clanking and grinding of hidden mechanisms. I watched the suspicious pedestal disappear, and it made me even more curious about the inner workings of the simulator. I was going to have to do a lot of poking around where my nose didn't belong.

Kugarth approached, a look of confusion on his face. "I'm really sorry about that, folks. Not entirely sure what happened there. The last room just didn't trigger properly at all. Seems to be one of those days, already, eh?"

The orc instructor flipped through a few pages on a clipboard, scowled, and grumbled something about 'yet another maintenance order this week.'

Well now. That made me curious. Very curious.

"Been dealing with a lot of trouble with the simulator, instructor Kugarth?" I asked as nonchalantly and conversationally as I could manage.

"Yeah. Since the start of this week, in fact. Just what I needed. We got meetings all the time because of mages and everything else going on, and-" He snapped his mouth shut and looked at me. "Well, let's just say it's been a rough week, yeah?"

"What is going on with the simulator or anything else in town is of no matter. I shall give you all a quick check over and get you off to wherever you need to be today. Get your gear off. Quickly now!" Craw said, the small drakekin pointing to the benches imperiously.

We all gave affirmative sounds and proceeded to do so. I had learned over time that not being prompt when a campus healer gave you instructions was usually a mistake, and one that it was too early to deal with.

I didn't quite understand all the strange devices that the healer was using as they examined us, but I didn't really care. The poor sleep and early morning caught up to me as the rush faded from my body.

"Ok, you all check out. Mr. Scarletti and Ms. Adhara, you should really look into getting a more thorough check-up. Your dungeon mana reactions are unusually strong for dungeoneers. Could be some kind of deficiency or illness. I'm not quite qualified for detailed analysis of such things, though." They shrugged.

"We'll get it looked into. Dungeon mana felt, um, really strong today. Maybe your projectors need work or something?" Noah offered weakly. I glared at him with the unspoken order to drop it before he dug himself too deep.

"Hmm. Maybe. Another problem for Danica to deal with, I guess." The drakekin shrugged again.

"I'll write up a report for the headmaster. You all get to the baths and get that mana out of you." Kugarth ordered.

We all picked up our things and filed out of the simulator hall.

"What exactly do baths have to do with mana?" Noah asked, confused.

I sighed and rubbed the bridge of my nose. One of the problems with being in the dungeoneering field, or any field for that matter, is that you forget that what you consider common knowledge is, in fact, not common at all. Basics are not the same for everyone, even if they are highly trained knights.

"How do you knights know so little about dungeon-related stuff? It's honestly not only surprising, I feel second-hand embarrassment from it."

"Knights don't deal with dungeons. We're not allowed. There's an agreement with the dungeoneer guilds and companies with knightly orders. We don't deal with dungeons, and they don't handle bandits and wild monsters." Noah shrugged.

"And so you never had to deal with dungeon mana in any way, shape, or form, right?" I surmised quickly. That certainly explained it, annoying as it was.

"Exactly. So, Baths?" Adhara asked, even though I had other questions, as not everything they just said fully tracked with what I had been taught.

As we made our way to the healing center, I explained the baths and how they drew the mana out of you using a combination of potions and other such things. It also helped you heal from any injuries and was amazing for your muscles after all the fighting and trap dodging.

As we made for the changing room, I stopped and turned to notice Noah following Adhara and me.

"And where exactly do you think you are going?" I said, arching an eyebrow at the knight.

"Going to the baths?" He said, with a confused look.

"I don't know how they do things where you're from, but the baths aren't co-ed." I pointed at the men's baths. "There will be no sneaky peeks for you today, sir!"

"How very dare you! I am a gentleman and would never!" He said dramatically, with a little smirk playing at the corner of his lips.

"You'd better not even think of it. My girlfriend can punch through armor." I threatened and entered the changing area.

Adhara said something to Noah that I didn't quite hear, but she joined me shortly after.

The changing rooms were completely empty this early, which was good. I didn't mind the communal nature of the place, and being nude around others didn't bother me all that much.

It certainly did when I first came here, but I'm nothing if not adaptable.

Adhara and I went about our changing in silence. I admittedly snuck a peek in her direction, as I had never really seen a Bastetian undressed. There were plenty of kobolds, drakekin, and more amongst the Dungeon School student body, but there weren't all that many Bastetians, and they never seemed to be in the bathing area when I was.

Yes, I know peeking isn't dignified behavior, but I was curious.

And there wasn't much to see. Much like how a kobold is like a bipedal hound, bastetians are bipedal cats, and their fur covered basically everything. Sure, her fur was a lovely deep black, but it covered everything.

Ah well. Curiosity sated, I suppose.

"Don't get any ideas, elf. I'm not into pointy ears. Or anything really." Adhara said without even looking at me.

"Sorry. Never seen an undressed bastetian before. Simple curiosity. Besides, I have that girlfriend. Not really interested in that way." I said with a shrug, and I bit of an embarrassed blush as I put the last of my clothing away in the little locker. I really hoped she didn't think I was some kind of pervert. Last thing I needed right now.

Adhara simply grunted and put her own clothes and gear away.

A thought suddenly popped unbidden into my head. A possibly important unbidden thought at that, too.

"Are you ok, though, with the whole bathing situation? I thought you were Noah's bodyguard or something? He's not going to be very guarded right now." I asked.

"Noah...Noah can handle himself for this, I think. I don't guard him all the time. Just in the field. I'm like an assistant rather than anything. I certainly don't guard him in baths or latrines, if that's what you're wondering." She said, her tail whipping side to side as she talked.

"Ah. Good to know. Just trying to get a handle on the exact dynamics here." I explained.

"As long as that's all it is." She said with a slight growl.

"I'm getting the distinct feeling that everything is not all sunshine and roses in the Knights of the Everspring regarding you two," I said, cursing myself for saying the thought out loud.

Adhara just stopped and looked distant for a long moment.

"You have no idea. No idea at all." Her ears flattened for a split second.

"Let's...Let's just take our baths and pointedly not talk about it, shall we?" I said, with a nervous chuckle. Good job, me. Way to make this more awkward than it needed to be.

"Yes. Let's." Adhara said, leaving the locker room for the heavy steam of the bathing room.

"Gods above and below, Marchesi, this is why all your friends are half-crazed, trauma-filled treasure hunters." I admonished myself and followed her.