I Hate Dungeon School

"So teach, how do you recommend we handle this? You've done this sort of thing before, right?" Myth said, scooting closer to the fire, warming her toes.

Helena pulled out her pipe and lit it, a curl of sweet-smelling smoke emerging from it and twirling in the air. She sighed and took a deep breath, holding the smoke in for a long moment before exhaling. She furrowed her brow in thought for a moment.

"Given our pace, and the condition of the core when I checked on it, we have likely two days at most to get this done. Planting a core I have done before, but its been a long time, and the conditions weren't exactly the same as this. However, checking ruins for budding dungeons is something I have done a lot. Something you lot will also likely do quite often." She explained, slipping into her lecturing patter effortlessly.

"Ok, so what does that mean, exactly?" Cori pressed. The cold was clearly getting to her, souring her mood. I couldn't say I blamed her. I was used to cold, and my mood was in the pits.

"We have about the normal amount of party members for a sweep. We split into three two-person teams, and one person watches base camp. We check room by room, meet back at base camp, and reassess the situation. If there are multiple floors, from that point we decided who gets what floor, rinse and repeat until the place is checked." Helena continued, ignoring Cori's tone.

"The objectives of the sweep are to check for monsters and anything valuable that can technically qualify as treasure. Stuff you wouldn't want to get lost if the place does turn into a dungeon." Eira added. She was further along in the courses than us, so it was no wonder she knew about all this.

"What happens if monsters not dead?" Smitty raised a paw and asked.

"In normal situations, the dungeon gets stronger monsters sooner, and it makes pruning in its early growth trickier. With an unstable core? Who knows. We're dealing with some weird stuff here. Plus, whatever connection Alta gained with the core might throw even more complications." Helena rubbed her chin with thought, likely running calculations in her head.

I wasn't sure whether to tell everyone what Auntie had told me back in the Kobold village. I decided it was likely better not to. There was enough to worry about. I just had to hope this little talisman did its job.

"Tonight, however, we rest. After that climb, searching this place, and maybe facing monsters wouldn't be the best idea," Helena added. "Mariana? Do you have some kind of warding or alarm spell? I know some priests have something like that, but I don't know your faith or repertoire."

Mariana sat there quietly for a moment. "Yeah, I think I've got something that might work. It's...unconventional, but it might do the trick."

"Oh? And what prayer is that, oh priestess?" I smirked at her.

"Shut up, Marchesi. It's-" She then mumbled something under her breath.

"What was that? I didn't catch that?" Cori added, curiosity getting the better of her.

"The Prayer of Protection Against Voyeurs, okay? Are you all happy now?" She snapped at us.

"Oh sweet gods above and below, you're a priestess of The Sighing Rose! I thought you looked familiar!" Myth gasped loudly before covering her mouth.

"You mean the brothel church?" Cori looked between Myth and Mariana. "And why do you know about that Myth?"

"A girl has needs, okay, Cori?!" Myth snapped at her, blushing deeply.

"It's not a brothel anyway! We just, you know, pretend to be priestesses while half naked, and along the way, some of us got Holy Magic. Please don't tell anyone else. This is so embarrassing! It was bad enough Alta knew." She groaned, pulling her legs close to her chest, burying her head against her knees and sniffling.

Well now I just felt bad for the hard time I had been giving her.

I put an arm around her in an attempt to comfort her. She jerked away instinctively, but quickly just accepted the gesture.

"I'm sorry, Mariana. Given our past, I felt like I had to get some digs in. That wasn't fair of me, and your skills and magic are needed and welcome on this expedition. I promise to try to be nicer." It was the best I could do. My resentments towards her were very deep-seated, but she was trying, and I could at least try too.

"I want to quit there. I really do. Its not a bad place, but I'm just tired of spending my weekends topless. I want to go home to Burgotova, but will they ever accept me with the blessings of some pervert god? Or goddess. I don't know. I don't even know what god is giving me powers. I hate it. I hate hate hate it." She sniffled some more.

"Why do you want to go home so bad anyway? Your family kicked you out. Any family that just throws someone away like that isn't worth your time. What did you do anyway?" I asked.

"I was practicing my archery, and I accidentally shot an arrow through a crystal vase that mother said was from the Endless Empire. It fell over, down a flight of stairs, and exploded into so many pieces that a high-end mending spell couldn't even fix it." She started crying again at those words.

I winced. That was pretty bad, especially considering how materialistic the Togallis were. That vase could have fed a small village for three years if you sold it. She was the bottom end of the hierarchy when it came to potential heirs, so they considered kicking her out an acceptable punishment.

"Since we're all in confession mode, Marchesi, I want to know what you did to get exiled." Mariana sat up, wiping her tears on her sleeve.

I saw the other girls, Eira and Helena included lean in. I realized that I had never really talked about my exile, other than it had happened. I didn't want to talk about it, but since Mariana had bared her soul to us, it would be rude to not follow through.

"This is going to sound so incredibly stupid. It was during a meeting with a suitor, as my parents were trying hard to arrange a marriage for me. I think it was some prince or duke's son or something. I don't remember, nor did I really care. It wasn't happening. As you have all guessed, I'm not built for romancing men." I explained, trying to provide context and stall for time.

"Get on with it, woman!" Myth snapped at me, a reaction that I didn't expect. I think the herb withdrawal was hitting her hard. Of course, so was my coffee withdrawal. This quest had not been fun at all.

"Okay, okay! Becalm thy teats! Anyway, so we were meeting, and the usual vapid small talk occurred. The little lordling then began telling me how many children he expected me to have, and telling me that he would expect me to make sure his concubines were well trained, and so I dumped a pot of hot tea on his crotch. When he screamed, I told him that he shouldn't worry, his 'manhood' was likely small enough to dodge the hot water. He stormed off, and the next thing I knew, I was being escorted off the estate with little more than a bag of clothes and a small bag of coins." I sat back and let out a long breath as I finished the story.

It felt good to get that off my chest finally. I had kept that secret for so long, and after I got all the words out, it felt so stupid to have hidden it.

There was a long silence. I looked at everyone's faces, and their expressions ranged from shock to amusement.

"That's it? You poured hot tea on some arse that more than had it coming?" Cori said, breaking the silence. "You nobles are weird. That's called 'comeuppance' where I'm from. Any lad talks to a lady like that and they're lucky if that's all they get!"

"Wait...I remember hearing about this. I think you did that to one of the King's sons! The fifth prince in point of fact. No one likes him. I don't even think the king likes him." Mariana added.

"I can see why. But, yeah, that's what got me kicked out of my home, disinherited, exiled from Burgotova, and why I eventually made my way to Dungeon School. And that is how I came to know all of you. Except for Mariana and Eira, of course. Different stories there entirely."

"Oh yeah, meeting you for the first time as kids is a story in and of itself!" Mariana laughed, the first bright spot from her mood I had seen since we left Revenstahd.

We laughed and relaxed as the fire dried us and our gear. Our moods, darkened by our quest and the cold, bit by bit brightened as we shared tales and food, before retiring for the night, nestled in our sleeping bags, knowing that tomorrow would be a day of dangers.