I Hate Dungeon School

The guard had not exaggerated in the slightest when he said the breakfast might be disappointing. If anything, he had understated it. This was not a meal; this was bordering on a war crime.

"Are these rehydrated eggs? I thought they were a rumor. A horror story to scare young adventurers." Myth said, taking a taste, and swallowing it with a grimace. To her credit, she held it down, and my own stomach was fighting it.

"Smitty like them." The kobold said, lifting her head from her plate. Such a statement made me concerned about our future meals at her village.

"Alas, they are. I had hoped to never see their like ever again. But here we are. Dehydrated eggs, limp bacon, bread hard enough to be armor, and coffee strong enough to melt adamant. Nostalgic." Andritch grumbled as she ate with gusto anyway.

"Seriously, teach, how can you just wolf that down? It's awful! I feel bad complaining, but even during droughts, we ate better than this." Cori whined, dropping her fork on her plate.

"When you're out on expeditions, quests, or what have you, you don't really get to choose sometimes. You either start to develop an iron stomach, or you learn to do paperwork for the rest of your life," she said plainly. No sugarcoating for us this morning either, I guess.

Eira ate her food without comment, her face only blanching at the taste of the dreadful coffee. Mariana looked at her food as if she were trying to decide which form of execution would be the least painful, but even she made an attempt at eating it.

As awful as the fare was, it made me appreciate our cafeteria all the more. I never thought I'd miss the porridge this much before. It was astonishing.

"Yeah, sorry about that, gals. The rations we get aren't amazing at the best of times, and this is definitely not the best of times." Lucio had joined us for breakfast, either as a courtesy given his rank as commander, or because he wanted to be a snoop.

Probably both, if I were to be honest.

"Why is that?" Cori asked, seeming genuinely curious, but I had a feeling she was being a snoop herself.

"Winter time supply transport is tricky, and border station guards aren't very high on the priority list. Border stations tend to be a soldier's first posting, or a punishment detail if I'm to be blunt." He said, before taking a big bite of the wretched eggs. "You get used to it eventually. Or you go crazy. Both, more likely."

"Which is it for you? Are you new or punished?" Cori said, and I winced at her bluntness.

"In my case, a bit of both. I'm not a new soldier by any stretch, but mages in the officer corps get rotated around. It just so happens that it's my turn to be this post's mage. And since I'm also high enough rank to be the base commander, they put me in to pull double duty. The last commander has a bit of an issue, you might say." He said as he pantomimed drinking.

"As much as this conversation is enlightening, we should probably finish up and get going. Right, girls?" I interrupted rather pointedly.

"This is true. C'mon ladies! Eat up! We're going to need our strength." Andritch and we all groaned as we looked at our plates.

We struggled through our meals, gathered up our equipment, and loaded the wagon. I surreptitiously checked the holding vessel for my little core. I didn't understand all the runes on it, but it seemed everything was in order.

"Soon, my little friend. We'll get you somewhere nice and safe so you can grow into a proper little dungeon." I whispered to it as I petted the container. I knew it was in my head, but I liked to think it was comforting when I did that.

"Hey, Alta, can I talk to you before you go?" A voice called out to me. Lucio. I made my way out of the wagon, having to back out of it in a decidedly undignified manner.

Which led to me tumbling out onto the snow. Thankfully, a soft patch cushioned my rear end, preventing injury from being added to insult.

"Yes, brother mine?" I asked, holding my hand up for him to lift me, which he did without thinking.

"Listen, Alta. I'm not stupid. I know you all have something else going on here, and the wedding is secondary. I hoped you would tell me, but you didn't, and I'm going to respect that. I just need to know, is this going to affect the kingdom negatively?" He leaned in a whispered to me, keeping his voice too low for his guards to hear.

"No. If this goes well, it might actually help Burgotova. I really can't go into details, but I need your trust here, Lucio. If we don't get this done soon, it could be disastrous." I responded, a smile on my face, to make them think we were just being pleasant to each other.

His expression softened, his forced smile finally stretching to his eyes. "Good. I trust you, sister. I don't care what the rest of the family says, but you're family to me. Cassandra and mother and father be damned. I know Elio agrees with me." He embraced me firmly, a surprisingly warm expression from him. "Stay safe, Alta. And do stop by on your way back. I want to hear all the gossip from the wedding."

He said that last part louder. It was both for show and a genuine request.

"Of course! I'd save you some appetizers, but I doubt they'd keep." I laughed and patted his shoulder.

"Given what our chefs made? You're doing me a service not bringing them!" He joined my laughter.

Another embrace, and we said our goodbyes. He also gave Eira a big hug and whispered something to her, which she giggled at.

We all clambered into the wagon, and with a whistle, the Ptarms clucked and made their way forward. We were back on the road again, in a land of ice and snow. With luck, we would be at the Kobold village before sundown.

We sat in silence, and it became clear that none of us had slept particularly well.

"Straw mattresses?" I asked everyone. Everyone groaned and nodded.

"Wait till you spend months on end sleeping on rocks! You'll be grateful for straw! Students these days, so pampered!" Andritch laughed from the front. We all just glared at her.

We rode on, enjoying conversation, naps, and snacks when the mood struck us. The fire crystal was keeping the worst of the winter chill at bay, which was a continued blessing I was grateful for.

I had lost track of time, an easy thing to do in the winter, when the sun hid behind the clouds, but soon we had pulled off the road into the trees.

"Why are we stopping? I don't see the Kobold village." Cori spoke up.

"Village not on road. Not safe. Must walk. Not far." Smitty explained before Andritch could speak, her ears perking up and her tail wagging. "Cannot wait. Friends meet village, meet family!"

While I wasn't terribly keen on the walking part, I was looking forward to meeting her family. Tribe? Whatever word worked in this situation.

"This is where it gets tricky, ladies. We'll have to move through the forest, through the snow. It'll likely be dark before we get back. Let's get the birds loaded up and the wagon hidden. We can't take everything, but we don't want to leave enough to make it too enticing to bandits if they do happen to find it." Andritch said, checking the Ptarms and their harnesses.

"Can we at least take the fire crystal? It's so nice and warm." Myth whined.

"As much as I want to say yes, that much magical energy sitting out is just asking for trouble from manavores. They don't go near the roads, but in the woods, they're rather vicious. Especially in the winter. Very hungry critters." Andritch explained, slipping directly into her lecturer voice. It must have been a habit for her after all these decades.

"Wait, what in the hells is a manavore? Did we talk about manavores? Did I miss that class? Please don't tell me I missed a class." Mariana said with a panicked voice.

"Right, I forgot most of you are first-year students. Manavores get covered in the second year of the bestiary courses. Ok, lesson time while we get the birds loaded up. Keep it moving, girls, I'll answer questions as we work." She clapped her gloved hands, a muffled sound that lacked any of the gravitas, but we still obeyed.

Manavores were similar to slimes in that they had formless, semi-gelatinous bodies, but whereas slimes were scavengers, specifically going for dead things, manavores would flock towards sources of mana. These were often naturally occurring magical crystals, but in lean months like winter, they'd attack anyone with sufficiently high mana reserves or with magic items. It wasn't unusual for someone to lose a magic weapon in the forests and have these little jelly bastards completely consume it.

A magic-infused crystal like our little heater crystal would be like a beacon signaling that it was meal time to them, and we would get caught in the feeding frenzy. It was going to be risky enough as it was, but the crystal would turn a few starving stragglers into an absolute nightmare.

"Ok, that's all good to know, but if they're so dangerous, why don't we cover them earlier than year two? Seems kind of important." I asked, as I fastened a pack to the Ptarm, who kept trying to nuzzle my face. It was adorable, but made packing trickier than it needed to be.

"They don't occur in a dungeon. We're not entirely sure why, but you will never run into one in a dungeon. It's possible that even dungeon-spawned ones will try to feed on the core, but we just don't know. So it comes up later, just before you begin internships with Dungeoneering Companies. This is a very good experience that by the way. I'll add it to your recommendation letters. Assuming we survive, of course." She laughed at that last part, as if it were hilarious, but all of us just stared at her.

I supposed dark humor was a natural consequence of all her experiences. I was scared to see what mine would look like in a few years.

We finished securing everything to the birds, making sure our weapons and armor were properly equipped, and we quickly hid the wagon under branches and snow. I was sad to see the warming crystal go dark, but it had to be done.

I looked at the struggle we were looking forward to: thick forest, calf-deep snow, no trail, and the dark mountain looming above us. I could almost see the fortress that was our destination against the cold stone, but I couldn't be sure.

I felt Eira's hand on my shoulder.

"Don't you worry, Alta. We'll make it. We've got time, and we're tough to boot!" She consoled me.

"True. Ugh, my leg muscles are going to hate me after this trip." I sighed, shifting my pack.

"Yeah, but think how good those legs are going to look for summer." She said, her tone softly flirtatious. She had a good point.

I was glad the cold made my cheeks red, or they would've betrayed the fact that my mind imagined Eira in a swimsuit. C'mon, brain! Focus.

"C'mon, lovebirds! This mountain isn't going to scale itself!" Cori called out, the group having moved ahead without us.

"Yes, yes! Come friends! Home awaits!" Smitty said, bounding through the snow as if it wasn't even there. I had never really been jealous of the large hound-like warrior, but in this instance, I most definitely was.

"Alright. Let's get this over with." I said, and trudged forward, Eira behind me.