I Hate Dungeon School

It had taken some fast talking to convince my roommates of my plan, but I had eventually gotten them on board with the scheme. It was early morning, the sun not even having risen yet, which didn't mean that much considering the shorter days of the winter months.

I was sitting across the table from Mrs. Jarlsen and her two daughters. They ran a general goods store across the street from the Jeweler's Bower, called, quite simply, Jarlsen's General Goods. Not every business needed a fancy name, I supposed.

She had run the store with her daughters for several years after Mr. Jarlsen passed away in one of those plagues that sometimes sweep through the kingdoms. They had done well enough, not amazingly so, with the comings and goings of adventurers and mercenaries through Revenstahd. The sudden dearth of customers had made life difficult as it had for so many others, and the sudden appearance of a dungeon core had made it even worse for the poor woman.

"Mrs. Jarlsen, my friends, who will be joining us later, would be more than happy to help you get to the bottom of this. There are a few things I need to clear up before we do this." I steepled my fingers before beginning, trying my best to look as professional as possible.

She just nodded at me, looking tired and bedraggled. I couldn't blame her. Sleeping above a dungeon couldn't be good for one's health or mental well-being in general.

"My companions and I are not certified to do this kind of work. We are still students, however, we do have experience with dungeon cores. We aren't going to flail about hoping for the best. We are going to do everything we can in our power to help you." I explained carefully.

"What do you need from us then?" One of the daughters, Tash,a if I remembered correctly, asked.

"We need you to play along with the little deception we have cooking up to make this technically legal. There is a small loophole in Revenstahd law that states that dungeoneers, even training ones, can attempt to deal with a forming dungeon core if it is discovered accidentally. We need everyone here in agreement that we found it by absolutely random chance." I emphasized that last part firmly.

"But rumors have already gotten out!" Mrs. Jarlsen interjected.

"Yes, but you haven't made an official request, due to financial troubles, yes?" I pressed. She nodded. "Good, then, from a purely bureaucratic point of view, it doesn't exist. Rumors don't count for anything in the law, and worst case, it stands up before a cursory investigation by the Grey Balance." I continued my explanation.

I was so glad I paid attention in my introduction to Dungeoneering law assignments now. The class was dry, but I was beginning to see its usefulness in action.

The trio seemed unsure. "For a bonus, we aren't going to charge you anything. We just ask that when we are fully certified in the future, you keep us in mind if this happens again. Either to you or any neighbors, customers, etc. And if the worst does happen, I take full responsibility. Manya will attest to that." I nodded in her direction as she bustled around the dining area we were meeting in.

"Aye, that I will! Alta is a good gal, she'll treat you right! She ain't stuck up like most of the elves that come through these parts, donchaknow!" She laughed and continued with her cleaning. That seemed to put their minds at ease.

I looked at my timepiece, confirming the time. I didn't want to make the girls have to wait if I could help it.

"Well, it's almost time. Let's get this show on the road, so to speak!" I said, pushing myself up from the table.

-

Cori, Myth, and Smitty were waiting for me outside the general store. They hadn't packed their full gear, not only to assuage any suspicions, but because it was a fairly new core in a basement. It wasn't likely to have anything we couldn't handle with basic equipment. Besides, no one really looked twice at someone with light armor, daggers, and swords in Revenstahd. It could almost be said that being armed and armored was its own fashion statement here.

Cori was in an awful mood and shivering.

"I hope this is worth it, Alta. I'm freezing my tits off here, and not even getting paid for it." She growled at me. Cori's home village was from a warmer climate, and she was definitely not suited to this kind of weather.

"Trust me, this will pay off in the long run. Besides, how often do we get to do this sort of thing? It'll be fun." I tried to assure her.

"I don't much care for your idea of fun," Myth said, yawning widely. She was not a morning person by any stretch of the imagination. "I haven't even had coffee yet, and you're expecting me to go to all this effort. Shame on you."

"I woke you up three hours early so you could eat? What happened?"

"Fell back to sleep." She shrugged at me.

"I swear to all the gods, you are conspiring to make me age before my time." I sighed. "Smitty, please tell me you're ready at least."

"No no friend Alta. Smitty is very sleepy and wants to go back to bed, but also want to help friend of friend, yes yes." She said, and by her lack of wagging tail, I could see she wasn't super enthused either.

Lovely. A bunch of half-awake students, doing something of questionable legality first thing in the morning. What could go wrong? And why did I think that? Of course, I'd jinx us on top of everything else.

"Let's just get this over with, please. Now remember, we're here completely by chance. Ahem," I said, clearing my throat. "Oh my! What a lovely general store! Let's pick up some supplies, shall we!"

"You are never going to be an actor. Absolutely shameful." Cori snickered under her breath.

"Shut it, you!" I hissed as we all clambered inside.

We went through the motions and eventually went downstairs under the thin pretense of helping move some boxes.

-

We stood around the small floating orb sitting in the center of the basement. It wasn't much to look at, much like the orb in the pouch around my neck. It shimmered slightly, but otherwise wasn't anything we hadn't seen before.

"So, that is definitely a new core, just like the one around your neck. Is it actually attached to the space though?" Cori asked.

"Smitty will find out, yes yes." Smitty grabbed a push broom that was leaning against the wall and poked the core firmly. It didn't budge.

"Yeah, I'd say that's definitely attached." Myth quipped, sitting on a nearby crate, kicking her feet out of boredom.

Looking around the room, the only spatial distortions I could see were an extra half a foot of space on one side of the basement, which was as good as it was underwhelming.

We had become so used to the idea of dungeons being mysterious places with traps and winding passages filled with monsters and treasures that seeing what a dungeon starts as was deflating.

I wondered how much of our future was dealing with these instead of the usual work of pruning. An unfortunate thought just occurred to me.

"Do any of you actually know how to break a core?"

We all just stared at each other for a long moment before Cori put her head in her hands and groaned.

"You mean to tell me that you dragged us out here and you don't even know how to break a core?!" Cori's voice rose in clear anger.

"I'm sorry! I saw an opportunity and leapt on it! I assumed it was something we covered while I was recovering!"

"Was it in the notes, Alta? Was it? Because I sure as hells didn't make notes on it, and I am very proud of my notes!" She shoved an angry finger in my face, which, given our height difference, was not nearly as intimidating as she likely hoped.

I sighed. "Fine, I admit it, I got too excited and didn't think this one all the way through."

"Which is kind of out of character for you, Alta. Is everything ok?" Myth asked, her previously concerned tone completely absent now.

Out of character? Was it? Maybe it was, but I couldn't say for sure. I'm not one to navel-gaze much, and I had too much pride to admit faults to myself, barring some exceptions.

"Friend Myth has a point. You have seemed much distracted. You smell sad, yes yes." Smitty added.

"Smell sad? What does sad even smell like? You know what, never mind. I just made a mistake is all. It happens." I threw up my hands in frustration. I didn't like where this conversation was going, and I wanted out of it.

"Nuh uh, missy! Sit and talk with us! Please?" Cori softened her angry tone.

I wasn't getting out of this one. Or was I?

"I really don't want to do this right now, gals, I'm just going to-" I turned around and didn't see something that should have been there. "Where in the hells are the stairs?"

"What do you mean, where are the stairs? They're right behind those b-" Cori stood next to me, stock still in shock as well. "Well I'll be triple damned. The stairs are gone.

We all turned to look at the dungeon core, and it pulsed slightly, before a viscous fluid seemed to drip from it directly onto the floor. The mass sat still for a moment, and then it began to throb and writhe before taking the form of an unusually large rat, with glowing eyes.

It was then I felt it, the distinctive feeling of dungeon mana flickering at the edge of my reservoir. Whatever metamorphosis a dungeon core went through in its youth, it was done. The walls, the stairs were signs of the space warping properties, and now it had generated an honest-to-goodness monster.

This was getting bad quickly.

Smitty was the first to react among all of us, pulling her dagger out and pinning the creature to the floor. It screamed as it dissolved back into the goo from which it had come, absorbed back into the gaps in the floor, like every dungeon we had seen.

The core shone again, more of the liquid pouring from it, this time forming into two rats. We dispatched them with equal ease, but the core kept creating more and more.

It had been nearly thirty minutes and we had lost count of how many of the damned things we slew, but the mass of dungeon spawned rodents seemed never ending. Usually, these things were one and done, but this core just kept going. Was it because we had been here when it hit this phase?

How did this sort of thing usually work anyway? I really hoped this would be something we covered later in class, if we survived this.

As we fought the rising tide of the little beasties, I felt the orb in my neck pouch begin to pull. It pulled harder and harder until the cord I kept it on broke free, and it fell to the ground. The little sphere that was the core that I had found myself caring for rolled free of its protective pocket and began to float, like the darker twin in the center of what had once been a mere basement.

I felt overcome for a moment, sensing some kind of feedback between the two, a byproduct of the connection I had with the infant dungeon core. It was intense, as much as any battle between sworn enemies.

Suddenly, I was subsumed in a sense of pure, primal, deep hunger. As if I were an entire swarm of locusts, and I was staring at a field of crops.

The shape of my core rippled for a moment, and then became amorphous as its form swallowed the basement core. It thrashed and warped, like a slime monster being electrocuted. It made a high-pitched whine that made all of us cover our ears in pain, and Smitty let out a howl of agony.

The sound suddenly stopped. The rats we had been fighting turned to the liquid we were used to, but instead of seeping back into the floor, it turned to a disgusting-smelling steam that made me want to gag.

The writhing mass floating in the air turned back into a solid sphere, and landed on the floor with a loud thud and rolled towards me, finally coming to rest on the pouch that had fallen from my neck.

I could still feel my core, the familiarity reaching through the strange connection we had. I felt a sense of accomplishment and satiety from it, like someone who had attained a great victory, but at the same time, the feeling of having a delicious meal.

The room creaked and seemed to fall in on itself for just a split second. The basement was back to its original configuration. No extra-wide walls, the stairs had sprung back into existence without fanfare. They were gone and back in the space of a blink.

"That was weird. Really, really, really weird." Myth said, breaking the stunned silence with the understatement of the year.

"We're going to have to tell someone about this, aren't we?" Cori added, her face taking on a slight pall.

I looked at everyone. They seemed no worse for wear, all things considered.

"I think we will." I grudgingly admitted. "We might just be in trouble."

And that was my contribution to the understatement of the year competition.