Idol Gunner [Yuri Villainess LitRPG]

Come Monday, Kana was back in her apartment. Due to the events that had unfolded in the Hiroyama Resort, the rest of the retreat had been cancelled on the spot. The owners of the resort were paid even more than before to keep quiet about the incident, while a different meeting had to be set up with the members of the press to come to a satisfactory deal.

A deal that, ultimately, was more of a promise not to spill the secrets of the other. A handshake over a fuse that would lead to mutually assured destruction.

Lying down on her bed, all alone, Kana stared into the washroom. Her change of clothes and towel were lying right beside her, but the only thing on her mind was Akiko Hara. Dangerously deep in her thoughts. Because none of Kana’s actions had ultimately mattered. She hadn’t gotten any of the credit or the hatred.

Akiko had stolen it all. She had been the one to ultimately stand in the spotlight of the Coalition when it was time to cut a deal. She was the one that they could not stand to lose, and she had threatened to go down with the ship if Nobuko was targeted. Was it because she liked Nobuko? The chances were low. Her reasons were a mystery. Her own.

Her notification chime went off once more, followed by another. The second thing that had been bothering her all day long.

It wasn’t like none of it had become public knowledge. All of the events had been streamed live, and the edited versions of the little bunker detour had been broadcast late Saturday night. Before the cameras were taken down during the final round, they had already shown the scene of the man falling down to his ‘death’ to the entire country. Why Neos-Edo had not applied a delay to the broadcast was anybody’s guess.

Either way, one thing had led to another. The ‘tragedy’ on Sunday attracted enough attention to the entire event, and that led way too many people to watch the rest as well. And out of the fifty people who had been featured in the broadcasts, Kana had somehow caught everyone’s attention. Not because they caught a glimpse of her throwing him down, or thought that her personality was quirky. None of that.

She had earned attention for being the sad newbie who had joined a group where two former members died consecutively. She had gained recognition for being in that position, and still letting Nobuko Kimura get out of the bunker first. Another three notifications blared across the room, prompting her to finally pick the phone up and slam it into the wall beside her.

And it still let out another chime.

“Phones aren’t that weak, you know.” Jina sighed, picking it up and placing it on the table closest to the door. Kana had not seen her get close, so she didn’t know when the goth girl had decided to start spying on her.

“Whatever.”

Kana finally grabbed her clothes and sat up, keeping her eyes on the washroom instead of entertaining Jina.

“Also, thank you.” She still kept speaking, “All of that newfound fame of yours seems to have gotten some eyes on me. People think I look really cute with the pink hair, you know? Apparently, I look like an anime character come to life.”

“Sure, you do. Fucking annoying like them, too.”

Jina stifled a laugh, quickly transitioning into a cough in an attempt to hide it. Then, she grabbed Kana’s phone, much to the girl’s chagrin. “One of the notifications is from Marie Iwata, by the way. Says she got information on you from Naomi-san, and is coming over to talk. Very important, and she seems to be pissed.”

Kana slumped down, letting the clothes fall to the floor as she rested her head in her hands. She hadn’t even been thinking about the entire deal with Iwata for the last twenty-four hours. Her trip to the third floor had been a complete failure, logistically. Even if she wouldn’t change a thing, there was no telling how much damage she had caused their plan.

But even thinking about it made her want to snap her own neck off. It was pathetic to look back on the past and consider what could have gone right or wrong. That was not her style, but she couldn’t help herself at this moment.

“Grow up, Kana.”

Her eyes darted to Jina in a microsecond. Even though it hurt her neck and back to move that quickly, it was the only way she could have reacted.

Jina kept her eyes soft, however. She didn’t flinch, or get angry, or leave. Arms folded, she probably held more kindness in her eyes than she ever had before.

“It is what it is, right? I thought you didn’t participate in…whatever. Look…you gave them what they wanted. Maybe it was not what you wanted, but you got them hooked on a girl who has released only a single track in her entire career. In the business, that is a hell of a deal.”

“Go pull a chair and sit beside that fat bastard Sakai, then.”

“I don’t need to do that to know business. You know it better than I do. In literally any world, getting that kind of attention is the jackpot. A million new eyes on your work, and it’s because of a positive reason instead of a negative one. It’s…the ultimate dream. You helped Nobuko and Risa out in the bunker, and you got paid back for your kindness.”

“For the camera, Ohara! I did it for the camera. I couldn’t give two shits about what happens to Kimura, alright?”

“And the camera is the truth, Kana. It is not your truth. It is not my truth. It is the audience’s truth. The only one that matters. People die to fake truths like that, you know? They do the most insane stuff to make it look like they’re good people. But you…just…let someone use a door before you. Even for the camera, just leaving would have been a good enough joke.”

“It would have been a controversial joke.” Kana got on her feet, taking her clothes from the bed to finally hop into the shower. “An established celebrity does it, and it’s funny. The newbie does it? She’s a…a terrible, self-serving, egoistic, narcissistic, unloving, pathetic, rat of a human being. Do you understand that?”

Jina shrugged, “I thought you were a self-serving, narcissistic, unloving…and all the rest…person. What happened to that, then?”

Kana smiled sarcastically, nodding at the girl with raised eyebrows. “Yeah. Right. No, you are so smart. I should’ve just let them see it all. I should have forced them to turn the cameras on and stabbed the guy myself immediately. Should’ve had a whole debate with Abe on top of his friend’s dead body. That would be much better, right?”

“I didn’t say th-”

“Why stop there? Let’s tell them everything and make a whole documentary about RiRi and Sanada, too. It’ll still get some people crying, I bet. It will still get some sympathy about how sad their lives were. Let’s just show them everything and make the entire damn thing unmarketa-”

Jina finally raised her voice enough to cut her off. “So, in other words…that’s not what the camera wanted. Right? You made a conscious decision to put on a version of yourself that is not real. When people get impressed by you being a good person, then? Don’t be surprised, Kana. You did this. Because you know what? You know one fact better than anyone else.”

“And what’s that? Everyone’s a little twa-”

“That nobody wants to know you, Kana!” She raised her voice even as it wavered. “Nobody…wants to see you. Because nobody in this world would want to associate with a person like you.”

Kana paused as she was. Her shoulders slumped in an instant, even more than they already had. Something welled up inside her heart, and her eyes begged to be the release to that tugging sensation. But she brought her hand into a fist and squeezed with all of her might as she turned to the washroom. Twelve steps, that’s all it was. She needed to walk there, and she could be alone.

And so, she started walking. Even if it was slow, and she did not know why it was so slow, she kept walking.

“But that’s fine.” Jina continued, warranting a quick turn of Kana’s head before it moved back to its original destination. “Being seen is not the same as being famous. You can do one without the other, and…you are doing it. I see you, Kana. I do. I see you, and I…I’m sorry…but I love you for it.”

“Get out of my room.”

“Look…these people don’t need to be the judges of who you are. Give them what they want. Who cares? Take the money and get out. You can still be yourself with the people who actually care about you!”

“Get out…and send Emi back up. I don’t care she’s sleeping on the couch. Send her back. And you…leave.”

“I’m sorry, I didn’t me-”

“Leave!”

She got into the washroom and slammed the door shut behind her.

_____________

Time passed.

Hours passed.

By the time the sun set and the knocks on the door got louder, Kana had already loosened up and given in to the cold water of the bathtub. The voices outside kept increasing in volume. Emi cried and cried, asking her to come out, and Jina tried to calm the girl down.

But Kana didn’t want to. She didn’t want to see their faces, or talk to them, or be with them, or associate with either of them.

Jina had not been wrong. Every decision she had made had been her own, and there was no need to change it. But that did not mean the decision had been correct. Just because being a faker got her an audience did not mean she wanted to be one. What was the difference between her and Akiko Hara, then? What was the difference between her and anyone else in this entire business?

Why would she even make the stupid decision of becoming an idol if it means being the same as everyone else?

The next knock on the door was a little different. The soft voice that made it through was Marie Iwata’s. Because she had already told her that she was coming. She had already made it a point to inform them. But Kana didn’t want to talk to her either, so she stayed where she was without a word.

“Minami! Open the door!” Iwata’s voice got louder, “You don’t get to do that. You don’t get to just shut me out after ruining our plans, Minami!”

Shut up, Kana thought. How many times were people going to tell this to her over and over? Yamazaki had already laid it out for her once before. He had told her those exact words not too long ago to remind her that there was no running away. And she hadn’t run away.

She wasn’t running away right now either. She was thinking. She was trying to consider what needed to be done next. The damage had already been done, and the audience was pouring in. People who thought that she was a nice, sweet girl were making their way into her social media and fan clubs. Kana Minami would now either need to bend to their will or risk losing it all by revealing her true self.

The one that nobody wanted to know…

It hadn’t even been a lie, but it still hurt. Jina had, maybe, not even meant to say it like that. But it still hurt. Emi didn’t want to know her either, after all. Her mother didn’t want to know her. The less Keiko knew about her, the better. Who had Kana Minami been to Aharu? Nobody could know. Did Aharu know her?

Or did Aharu just know a different person?

“Minami, I don’t have all day. I need you to tell me something right now…” Marie stopped banging, but her voice had slowly increased. “Will you, or will you not…fix this? Look…I get what you did, and I’m proud of you for doing it. I am not saying that our deal was more important than that. But I did put all of our hopes in you. I did that because you promised me it would be fine.”

Always the promises, too.

“And…uh…” Her voice got softer, then. “Hiromi wanted to talk to you. She thought what you did was…very cool. And so did my trainee. She kept asking to introduce you to her. I didn’t do any of it because I was a little bit pissed. I put myself first, and I hope you see why. But I also don’t want to pretend like what you did was wrong.”

Meandering, meandering, and more meandering. Why did people take so long to get to their point? This was just going to be followed up by a want. Her next dialogue would be asking Kana what she was going to do for her next.

She prepared herself for that.

“That’s why…you know what, Minami? It’s ok.” She gave one last knock. “I mean, I really did come here to be angry, but I can’t do that if I can’t see your dumb face. Doors have a way of calming you down. I…I put all of my blood into getting where I am…Kana. I had to build it all from scratch, see it fall down, and then down, so many times. I just got here by chance in the end.”

Kana closed her eyes, stretching her body as she rested her head on the bathtub’s edge.

“When I didn’t do some office job to do this, my friends used to call me cool. When I refused to follow trends and do my own thing, my few fans used to call me cool. It’s…it’s easy to earn that description when you’re a creator. But Hiromi? That…look on her face. I was so much more pissed because I couldn’t get it out of my mind. When she called you the same thing for doing what you did? It made me feel like nothing I had ever done was that interesting, after all.”

Said the girl who had managed to make Akiko Hara uncomfortable with her singing. The girl who had shaken Lilac Shower enough to force them into using underhanded tactics to kick Bobtail Felis out. Kana cracked a smile and snickered. Selling herself short to gain Kana’s appreciation? It would not work.

“Also, I’m supposed to be your senior.” She snapped, but then laughed as well. “I’m supposed to be the cool one here, alright? Stop trying to steal my thunder like that! And now that I really think about it? I don’t need you. I can be cool myself. But I’ll give you this, Kana Minami. What you did…was kind of badass. And you are kinda…really fucking cool.”

Hmm…, Kana wasn’t sure what to say, then.

“However, I came here to say that I can do the rest myself. You do not get to replace my position, in the eyes of my team, alright? You don’t get to become cool like t-”

Kana opened the door. Clothes on, she had heard enough. Looking at Marie in the eyes, and noticing Emi sitting on the bed, she did not even turn to look at Jina standing in the distance. But she could feel it in her heart already.

“No need for all that. I don’t back out of my promises.”

Marie raised her eyebrows, “I was about to decide otherwise. But…I insist. Let me please keep Hiromi’s fan status to myself.”

“Don’t kid me.” Kana scoffed. “As if I’d ever allow that.”

She was a terrible, self-serving, egoistic, narcissistic, unloving, pathetic, rat of a human being…after all.