Chapter 286: The insecurities of a man who has never dated
"I was so scared." Maxwell began, his voice thick and warbled from his tears. "I was so scared that something awful had happened to you. I thought my heart jumped out of my throat. Did I play it off okay? Did I look fine?" Maxwell asked and Andrew held him tightly, exhaling slowly.
"You looked like you were the perfect image of a CEO caring about his people." Andrew assured him. Maxwell let out a ’whoosh!’ of air from his lungs, squeezing Andrew with all his might.
"Oh good. I was going for that." Maxwell sounded a bit hysterical. It was then that he realised that Maxwell was releasing his pheromones. A lot of them. It wasn’t sexual in any sense, in fact, Andrew was sure that he was doing this to comfort himself.
Andrew glanced around the storage room and thankfully found a chair. It was an office chair, looking as if it was missing a wheel, and Andrew moved them until both him and Maxwell were sitting in it. Maxwell’s legs dangling over the edge of the armrest as Andrew held him in his arms, in his lap.
Andrew was at a loss. He knew that Maxwell wasn’t blaming Andrew for his reaction, but it was clear, especially after Dr. Liu’s questions that both Maxwell and Andrew had some lingering issues. She was right. They should see someone. Probably separately, maybe together if they needed to.
Andrew, on his own, was against going to see someone to heal the wounds he had. He was sure that alone he could figure it out. Look up some studies, you know, read all the books and figure it out somehow. It might not be in a healthy way, but he could do it. But, knowing that it also affected Maxwell to this extent?
That changed things.
He didn’t want Maxwell feeling anything near to what he felt. The stress, the loss of breath. It was the reason that Andrew had reacted so poorly when Maxwell had had issues about going to the Doctor. He didn’t mind holding Maxwell like this, as he was assuming Maxwell didn’t mind holding Andrew in the same way, but that didn’t mean he felt good about why he was crying.
He especially didn’t feel good because it made him feel like a burden to the other man. The last thing he wanted to be for this man. He loved him, he didn’t want to be a weight on his shoulders. He didn’t want to hold him back in the slightest. There was a reason he was attempting to go back to school.
It was partially for himself, partially for his Mom since he never finished, and the rest was for Maxwell.
Maxwell was curled into his chest, holding onto Andrew’s jacket tightly and Andrew’s chest squeezed.