The Substitution of the Shield Hero

I let out a long sigh, massaging my sore joints and muscles after Mom pinned me down in various positions while my dad commented on my lack of grapple techniques.

...It wasn't my fault though.

What the hell did you need grappling for when you had magic and could usually just rip your opponent apart with swords and stuff?

...That was my argument at least.

They then proceeded to demonstrate exactly why.

...And most of it was bedroom applications.

Thankfully, I didn't need brain bleach since they didn't go THAT far.

Dad had some dignity.

Mom did not.

Which was why I had dipped the first moment I could since they were definitely getting heated up after demonstrating that 'grappling...'

Unfortunately, that 'first moment' turned out to be sunrise.

I took a look around the sandy beach, watching as the sun's early light cast everything in a beautiful orange glow.

And as it did, I realized that everyone had camped out for the night on the beach.

My kids were napping in the sandcastle they made, curled up in one big pile with a fluffy blanket that S'yne must have knitted for them.

Speaking of S'yne, the Skywing was curled up in a glistening blue blanket that looked almost like spun water... and it might be considering her powers.

Daji and Mirellia were sleeping in the shadow of the sandcastle where the kids were napping.

And as for everyone else... well, some makeshift sandstone houses had suddenly appeared overnight, so they were probably sleeping inside that.

But while I definitely had to sort through the whole introductions with everyone later...

Right now my attention was drawn to someone else.

A man with a red coat, silver hair, and a pair of guns in his hands.

Dante paused in the middle of testfiring bullets at fish in the sea before looking at me. "Well, well. The kid lives. Nice."

"Barely." I sighed and walked over before holding out my hand in greeting. "You're Nero's uncle, right? Dante?"

Dante grabbed my hand for a firm handshake and said, "That's right. But you can call me Uncle Dante too. Leon's practically our third brother at this point. What's your name though? That never actually came up."

"...It's a secret." I coughed. "I'm going by Naofumi right now."

"Now fool me? What a name." Dante laughed. "But sure. Your parents just napping, or what?"

"...Or what. Since we're at a beach, they're going at it."

"Can't blame them." Dante holstered his guns and looked around. "This place is beautiful. Not a shred of pollution in the air, no crazy demonic or divine energy either. Just pure nature and mana."

"Huh. You can sense that?"

"Nah. Just bullshitting."

"..."

Dante laughed. "Man, the look on your face... But guess the commission's settled then since we found you. Can't believe your dad got to you first though."

"Honestly, same." I rubbed my shoulder, still remembering the jumpscare when Dad clapped his hand there. ...And the slight bruise I had from his firm grip when he did it.

One that Homeostasis apparently considered normal and wasn't healing.

Definitely a bug. I should look into that later.

I noticed a flash in the distance along the shore and looked over to see a man who looked just like Dante, except with his hair spiked up and wearing a black and blue coat. Wielding a... copper sword?

Wait, what?

Vergil swept his hands out, causing a dozen copper swords to shimmer into space and rip it apart. At the same time, he wrapped his hand around the white hilt of a katana sheathed at his left side and grinned. "Yes... Yes! Now this... This is power!"

I kept staring at the copper swords... Or the things that 'looked' like a copper sword but CLEARLY wasn't with how it absolutely was slicing through spacetime so fast it existed multiple places at once.

Dante noticed and said, "...Probably better for your sanity to ignore him. When Vergil's in the groove, he won't stop unless you smack him in the head."

"...So that's Nero's dad." I stopped and thought about what Nero was like.

Impulsive, brash, vulgar, always short on money to the extent that I had to spot him for all the merch at the Power Rangers convention...

"...Yep. Makes sense." I stared at Vergil and said, "That's just literally Nero. Except like, if Nero decided to be all edgy instead of serious."

Dante laughed and clapped his hand on my shoulder. "Knew I liked you, Kid. Even if this is the craziest commission Devil May Cry has ever taken."

I blinked. "Devil May Cry? ...Oh yeah, Nero mentioned that was the name of the investigation agency or whatever you guys ran for freelancing."

"Yep. And we recently made rent for the next year and a half because your pops was so anxious to find you that he paid us ten million up front."

I slowly blinked. "Dad has that much- Actually, no. That sounds about right."

Dad always had ridiculous drip on his missions along with crates of ammo. He said he picked it up on site, but considering that he always came home with more ammo than he left... And since he apparently knew a shady European armsdealer from his mission to save Miss Graham.

Then there was the fact that he had enough money to run around the world to track Mom and give secret backup on her missions too...

Plus there was his 'definitely not mafia' family members that he never let me meet.

I frowned. "...And he couldn't give me a small loan of a million dollars to start my own company? Some Dad he is..."

"Kid." Dante laughed. "I've only known you for like, five minutes. And I can tell that if you had a million buckaroos back on Earth, you'd be a full supervillain by sunset."

"..."

"Tell me I'm wrong."

"...I wouldn't use the term supervillain."

"See?" Dante laughed. "But anyway, you should be glad. Not many parents run through entire dimensions to track down their kid. Take my dear brother over there." He jabbed his thumb to Vergil and said, "If that guy heard Nero was in trouble, he'd just laugh and call Nero weak."

"...That explains why Nero said he'd rather die than let Vergil babysit his kids."

The moment I said that, Vergil suddenly tripped and immediately turned to look at me.

Dante smirked. "Hoh?"

Vergil closed the gap in an instant and said, "Explain."

"Explain what?" I blinked. "Nero's apparently going to be a dad the last I checked. Might be one already. I kind of got abducted to this world so I haven't been able to check in-"

Before I finished talking, Vergil swung his sword, ripping open a gash in space, and vanished.

Dante blinked. "Huh. Guess he does care."

"...Does he know that the IRS is still looking for him due to tax evasion, insurance fraud, identity theft, and a few other things?"

"Oh, he knows. He just doesn't care."

"Right. ...Well, not my problem. I've got plenty of my own to deal with."

Like figuring out how to properly explain to my parents why I had so many beautiful women around me... and the fact that I was technically the leader of an entire country. And that I had razed two to the ground. And that this world was kinda sorta definitely being targeted by a planet of maybe gods that were also maybe just a branch of an even bigger organization...

Yeah.

"Right." Dante hummed and said, "Well. Since you're technically the reason why Devil May Cry is funded for the next year and a half, got anything Uncle Dante here could help with?"

I paused to think about it. Then I said, "...How good are you at directing troops?"

"Huh? Well, I'm more of a rush in the vanguard sort of guy, but I can make things work. Why?"

"Want to help a country get revenge on another country that's on its last legs? For context, said country on its last legs had a king that used to turn women into lust toys, kill them, and discard them like trash."

I hadn't checked on the status of Four Bray in a while, but if I didn't do anything about it, the people in Libertas might just rush on their own.

So if that was the case, I might as well send a sanctioned force...

And remove people from the board that was my family drama for the moment.

"...Alright, I'll bite. Where at?"

===

After warping Dante to Libertas and getting him acquainted with Sadeena, Oyaji, Eclair, and some other people who were already chomping at the bit to finish off the Four Bray nobles, I headed back to the Cal Mira shoreline.

Everyone was still exhausted and fast asleep, so I synthesized some parasols to cover them and keep them cozy. Then I decided to head over to the adventurer's outpost to take a look while the others slept.

At least, that was the plan.

But just as I was heading towards the road leading deeper into Cal Mira, space rippled and then a twin-tailed girl in a gothic dress popped out of the air.

"KYA!"

"What the fu-!" I was immediately bowled over since I was caught off guard and knocked into the sand.

"Sorry!" The girl quickly stood up and held up her hand. "I didn't think the portal that Mister Leon and Miss Ada left would just drop me out like this!"

I froze. Then I slowly looked up at the girl. "...Mister Leon? Miss Ada?"

"Y-Yes! We were traveling together in a labyrinth, but they said they had to hurry and then started breaking everything apart. I tried catching up, but I was a bit slow... Are they around here?" She covered her eyes with the other hand to block out the sun and looked around.

I took her offered hand to stand up and then sighed. "Of course Mom and Dad wouldn't just show up. They'd bring some more variables for me to deal with too..."

The girl tilted her head. Then her eyes widened in recognition. "OH! You're their handsome son!"

"...Handsome son?"

The girl blushed and idly twirled a bit of her hair. "I-I'm Kizuna Kazayama, the Hunting Hero! Nice to meet you!"

"Hunting-" I pinched the bridge of my nose. "No. It's too early for this. Nice to meet you, Kizuna. You can call me Naofumi Iwatani. Now, I was going to head into the adventurer's outpost, so if you'll excuse me-"

"Oh! Can I come with? I'm looking for my friends, so maybe I can find out some news about them!"

I stared at her and said, "...You realize that you might be in an entirely separate world- No, you definitely are. There isn't supposed to be a Hunting Hero in this world."

"Probably! But it's fine! You never know, right?"

I shook my head. "I guess. But the odds of meeting people from the same world as you after heading into another world are-"

A disbelieving but joyful female voice suddenly called out. "KIZUNA?!"

I froze. "...I swear to all that is good in this world that if-"

"What are the odds...?"

"Miss Kazayama!"

I glanced up to see a group of three adventurers... or who looked to be adventurers approaching.

The first was a beautiful woman with pale skin, long dark hair, and crimson eyes. Wearing a kimono, she looked like a yuurei straight from Japan.

The second was a relatively handsome guy with red hair, a red tunic, and a black tattoo of a scythe on his left shoulder.

The third was another beautiful woman, but with light blue hair that shimmered like gems with shimmering red and orange highlights at the end of her hair.

Kizuna's eyes lit up and she waved at them. "Glass! L'Arc! Therese! What a coincidence!"

"...Forget this." I immediately spun on my heel and said, "You go chat with your friends, Miss Kizuna. I'm going home."

"E-Eh? Um, sure? Th-Thank you, Naofumi-san?"

They were trouble.

They were absolutely trouble.

If I stuck around, I had a feeling I'd be wrapped up in even more troublesome things.

And if I had to choose between family drama or trouble, I'd choose family drama.

So, before anything else ridiculous could happen, I made a beeline back to my vacation home by the shore.