The Substitution of the Shield Hero

"That was fun, Papa!" Mina giggled as I toweled her blue hair dry. "I saw lots of fishies!"

I let out a long sigh and said, "Even if you can hold your breath for a long time, that doesn't mean you can dive underwater, Mimi."

"Aw..."

Nina nibbled on a grilled fish as she watched from nearby, her blonde hair fluttering with the sea breeze, along with the blue sundress she was wearing. With a smile on her face, she said, "Mimi got in trouble~"

Mina stuck her tongue out and said, "Only because you tattled!"

Nina shrugged, although her eyes sparkled with mischief.

I sighed and finished drying up Mina's hair and green sundress before saying, "No more diving underwater unless it's with me, okay?"

"Fiiine." Mina huffed and then said, "...But can I fish?"

"...With a rod."

"Aww... but Big Brother is fishing with a spear!"

I slowly turned towards the shore, crimson from the setting sun, to see that, yes, Bahamut was indeed spearfishing.

He and Morgan had both found glittering golden tridents from somewhere and were expertly swimming in the sea, stabbing and pulling up giant bluefin tunas.

Or at least, fish that looked like bluefin tunas.

Then I looked back at Mina and said, "Just because your brother is doing it doesn't mean it's okay. It just means that I haven't had a chance to talk to him about it yet."

Mina blinked. Then she giggled. "Oh! So Big Brother's in trouble again too~?"

"Yes."

...Though Bahamut was handling being in water a lot better than I did at his age.

Then again, he also wasn't in a speeding boat with my dad who kept assuring me that a bite or two from a giant fish didn't hurt if you munched on some colored herbs.

I sighed and handed Mina a giant sandcastle kit, complete with pails, molds, and shovels. "Here, Mimi. Go make a castle with your sister."

Mina gasped and said, "THAT'S SO COOL! Love you Daddy!" She gave me a quick hug and then grabbed the sandcastle kit. "Nana! Castle!"

"W-Wait for me!"

I kept an eye on the two, but when they just dashed away from the shore instead of towards it, I let out a sigh of relief.

"...Man. Being a dad is stressful."

At that time, a now-familiar sultry female voice echoed. "Mm, being a good father is indeed stressful. But the fact that you feel stress is simply a measure of your character, Naofumi~"

I glanced over at the speaker to see Daji in... barely anything at all. Just a black 'V' slingshot bikini, leaving all her curves and assets practically exposed, along with her white fluffy tail.

Daji's fox ears twitched as she smirked. "See something you like? Or... are you just going to-"

*BOING*

"KYA?!" Daji flinched, quickly bringing her hands up to her chest after I flicked the string away. "Y-You scoundrel!"

"That's just terrible wardrobe design. For the bedroom, fine. But the beach? You might as well be naked..."

Daji turned a bright red and then huffed. "Shameless. Utterly shameless. You have no face at all! Treating a woman like this..."

"I'm just pointing out the design flaws. At least have the foresight to have some safety tape on it."

That was what Mom did when she wore those. Well, that, and near invisible fishing line holding it all together.

Still traumatizing.

And the reason I will never go to Florida ever again after the sheer panic of what if Mom had a wardrobe malfunction in public and how I'd be stuck explaining it.

Daji fixed her bikini and glared at me. "...For a man who says he dislikes being seduced, you sure do enjoy taking liberties with a woman's body..."

I shrugged. "If a meal is being presented in front of me, I'll eat it if I'm feeling hungry."

Daji gave me a blank stare. Then she burst out laughing. "A terrible man indeed. To take liberties with my body not out of lust, but sheer whim- KYA?!"

I poked Daji's belly, curious about the slight pouch there beneath her abs. "Huh. So it IS natural for women to have this. I wonder if Mom had plastic surgery then. Wouldn't put it past her... Or maybe she really is built different."

Daji turned a bright red and huffed. "If you are going to tease me like this then at least have the audacity to go all the way!"

"Nah." I synthesized an orange soda and sipped on it. "Sex seems fun, but too messy right now. Especially with sand. Do you know how hard it is to clean sand out of certain areas? Plus, the friction seems like it'd hurt a lot. At least ask me when we're somewhere fun like a hotspring in the mountains or something."

Daji gave me a blank stare. "...You are doing this on purpose."

"Whaaaat? Me? Pft. Never."

Daji pouted and then turned on her heel, marching back towards the vacation house I made. "...I'm changing."

"Did you want me to look, or-"

"ALONE!"

After that, Daji walked off.

I chuckled, seeing her fume as she headed inside. "Mm. This is fun. I get why Mom likes teasing people now."

It really was amusing to see how people reacted when you committed to it.

At that time, a pair of women- No, girls walked over.

Sylvia, wearing a modest pink bikini.

Then Lia, wearing... also a modest pink bikini.

Sylvia watched Daji head back into the vacation house (technically castle) and said, "Master... Did you actually fluster my mother enough to make her change?"

Lia giggled and said, "You're pretty naughty, Naofumi-dono. I saw that!"

"Well, she clearly liked it. And it's payback for trying to be seductive." I paused. "Which reminds me that I should tease Mirellia a bit too."

At that time, Mein walked over, wearing a scandolously thin red string bikini and thong. "What was that about my mother?"

I gave her a blank stare. Then I said, "...Only the fact that she and you have similar taste in casual attire."

"What?" Mein blinked. "Mother would never-"

At that time, Mirellia walked over, wearing the exact same outfit as Mein, but in purple.

Mein was quiet.

Mirellia blushed.

Then Mein's brain rebooted and she pointed her staff at Mirellia. "MOTHER?!"

"W-What?!" Mirellia huffed and crossed her arms. "...Your father never let me wear anything nice. Said I was too seductive. Now I can."

"STILL!" Mein frantically waved her hand. "Your... everything! It's improper!"

Mirellia raised an eyebrow, eyeing Mein's outfit. "...And yours isn't?"

"You're my mother! And a Queen!"

"And you are my daughter and a princess. You do not see me judging what you wear. Even if I should. Honestly, you belong to Lord Naofumi and you still dress like that? Are you trying to pull men into your bed still?"

Mein turned a bright red and said, "Of course not! I just like wearing these things! It feels nice!"

"And I feel the same."

I watched as Mirellia and Mein both started bickering. Then I leaned over to Lia and Sylvia before saying, "You know. I didn't realize it when I first met Mein, but she really is like her mother, isn't she?"

Now that Mirellia wasn't stressed about her title as Queen and her country, I could see a lot of where Mein got her mannerisms, tastes, and more.

...Like her build too.

"Hm..." I stared at Mein. Then at Mirellia. And after that, I nodded. "Like this, they could definitely pass as sisters instead of mother and daughter."

Sylvia tucked a strand of her snowy white hair behind her ear and nodded. "I agree. They're even bickering like sisters would."

Lia tilted her head. "But we don't bicker like that, Sylvia."

"That is because we are mature, Lia."

"Oh! True!"

I resisted the urge to laugh at the unintentional roast.

Instead, I took a look around.

The sun was setting, casting everything in a beautiful crimson hue.

Mina and Nina were building a sandcastle together, joined by Melty and Filo who had shown up from somewhere.

Lucina was playing with Morgan in the water, her blue eyes glittering with nostalgia as she watched her son laugh.

Bahamut... Had somehow set up a makeshift grill and was frying tuna steaks with blue fire that was definitely megaflare.

Mm... he was controlling it at least, so I'd let it slide.

Rishia was helping him out, expertly prepping the steaks with a knife.

S'yne was relaxing on the shore, sipping some sort of tropical drink while shielding herself from the sun with her violet wings.

As for the Three Stooges...

Motoyasu had given into the forbidden fruit it seemed and was letting himself be spoiled by Yuki and Lyno.

And by spoiled, I mean Yuki being clingy in the dangerous way while Lyno gave Motoyasu a lap pillow.

Ren was doing some solo play level grinding, probably passively giving the other heroes some experience-

Ah, wait.

Since the Legendary System's special power-up method removed experience restrictions AND allowed experience to be gained from alternative means...

...No.

Let's not think about the implications of Motoyasu gaining 'experience' in multiple ways and it ACTUALLY leveling up the other heroes in the party.

That way was the way to infinite debt via child support, and I was not about that life.

Uncle Vergil was apparently still being hounded by the IRS for cousin Nero's child support payments, after all.

'I wonder how Nero's doing anyway?'

We'd connected at a Power Rangers convention once. Apparently, he was a fan and it came up our parents knew each other somehow.

'Hm. Did we ever bring it up to our parents that we did?'

Come to think of it, I don't think I ever mentioned that...

Well, too late now.

But anyway.

Itsuki was chatting with Elena underneath a parasol, with the latter idly feeding him grapes while he... judging from what I could read from his lips, talked about his world?

And Elena was looking veeery interested in it.

'Yep, he's a goner.'

Elena was definitely a similar sort of gal as my mom, but more focused on business and investing in people than the actual go out and do missions deal.

If I had to guess, she was probably chatting Itsuki up and making him promise to take her with him when he returned home after saving the world.

'Honestly, probably not a bad idea.'

Elena seemed like the sort of homebody girlfriend or wife who'd be fine just scrolling through social media all day and lazing about at home while her man worked. Definitely a moneysink, but at least a loyal one.

And since she would definitely praise Itsuki all day long because it cost nothing to her other than breath, and since it made Itsuki inspired to do pretty much everything...

'Huh. Toxic, but a good toxic?'

Sylvia caught me staring and teased. "Are you jealous of being single, Master? Because that can be changed any time you want if you talk to my mother."

"Nah. Relationships are a hassle. Unless it's someone low maintenance like Rishia who's just happy to be around, it'll just detract from my objectives."

Lia giggled and said, "Naofumi-dono really isn't a good person... Saying it like that makes it seem like you're just using Rishia."

"Well, if a girl likes being used and feels loved doing it, is it-"

I suddenly froze, feeling a shiver run down my spine.

Lia tilted her head. "Naofumi-dono?"

"...Sorry. I just had the feeling that if I finished that sentence, both my parents would find a way to be summoned to give me a lecture."

I nervously checked my back.

Neither of my parents had any supernatural abilities other than being physically gifted. So it wasn't like they could just appear out of the blue.

...But my mom was resourceful. And she had a weird sixth sense for me causing trouble.

Dad also had weird timing in showing up just when I was about to do something he would say was immoral.

I didn't know where they were, but I had the vague sense they were close. Enough to where it wouldn't be a surprise to see them suddenly pop up.

So...

"I was just joking. I would never take advantage of a sweet girl like Rishia by giving her the bare minimum."

Silence.

Lia gave me a confused look.

Sylvia tilted her head.

I waited. And seeing nothing and no one pop up, I let out a sigh of relief.

"...Anyway." I looked at Lia and said, "I wanted to ask, Lia. Do you care about your family history at all?"

"...Not really?" Lia blinked. "Mom and Dad died. Rifana too. But Keel is alive. And Miss Sadeena. I'm happy here, and I have you, Sylvia, and everyone else. It would just be making me sad digging into my past, wouldn't it?"

"Oh, good. Then, hypothetically, if you were from an island nation ruled by someone who usurped the throne, you wouldn't care if I just like, took over the country?"

Lia giggled. "Of course not!" She paused. "...But is this person responsible for why everyone was sold into slavery instead of saved after the monsters appeared that day?"

"Probably. Wanna come with me to do some murder?"

"Yes!" Lia hugged me. "Best kind of Dad ever!"

"...You're kind of welcome?" I laughed and patted her back. "But anyway... since my son is making food, why don't we relax tonight? I think the exp monster event officially starts tomorrow, so let's have some fun and relax until then."