The Substitution of the Shield Hero

Leon took a look around as the blue light from the teleportation faded around him. "...Well. We're not in Kansas anymore, Dorothy."

Ada rolled her eyes as she fixed her dress and said, "Way to state the obvious, Hubby." She swept her gaze around too and said, "...But this is different."

A white sandy beach bordering a grassy field with a nearby thicket. A freshwater river running alongside the grassy field and serving as a natural boundary line...

Leon idly unhooked one of his hatchets and said, "Doesn't look like where our son was. I don't think his vlogs showed a beach anywhere, right?"

Ada nodded. "That's right. And even then... look. Aren't those similar to the herbs that Umbrella used to have laying around in their facilities?"

"Huh?" Leon glanced where Ada was pointing and saw a bunch of medicinal herbs, green, yellow, and red growing in the thickets. "...What the hell?"

"Right?" Ada hummed. "...Our little boy said that the world he was in was getting invaded by another dimension, didn't he? I think we ended up in the invading dimension."

"Tch. Just our luck."

Ada looked at Leon and smirked. "You say that, but you look excited."

"Who, me? Never." Leon smirked back at Ada. "I was just thinking that I needed some exercise."

"Mm... You aren't going to do some more backflips to try and impress me, are you?"

"Of course not-"

A white blur shot out at Leon. Something that looked like a living cardboard box.

On reflex, Leon did a backflip and deflected it up with his hatchet.

Leon landed and paused, his ears red.

Ada giggled. "You were saying?"

"...Old habit."

"Sure, Hubby." Ada smiled and then casually walked over to what was left of the box after Leon smacked it out of the air. She pulled out a knife and poked it a few times before humming. "Weird. It's literally just a box. But it was definitely alive just now."

"Well." Leon rolled his neck and said, "The Portal Stone will take a bit to recharge... wanna go exploring like old time's sake?"

Ada stretched and said, "Might as well. Our little boy isn't going to drop dead any time soon... and I don't think we've been on a vacation together in a while, right?"

"Not since Macau, and I wouldn't call that a vacation."

Ada rolled her eyes. "Oh please." She wrapped one arm across her torso and held her head up with her other hand. "We had tons of fun. Especially in the hotels~"

Leon blushed and cleared his throat. "A-Anyway. Let's secure a base. X gave me some useful survival gear too. Scanners, fabricators... He was concerned after I mentioned having to bootstrap my way up to kill dragons."

Ada laughed and said, "I still can't believe that you and Claire actually did that."

"And *I* still can't believe you got dragged into an apocalyptic world where women were killed and had their brains stuffed into a robot body like Robocop."

Ada shrugged. "I've seen and done weirder things. Like you."

"What?"

"I said what I said~"

Leon's face turned a darker shade of red and he said, "...You're still a minx even after all these years."

Ada draped her arms around Leon's neck and said, "And you're still that shy rookie cop around me, Hubby~"

"...You realize you're the reason our son is in this mess probably? He definitely got your penchant for ending up in trouble."

"Says the man who's first day on the job involved surviving a zombie outbreak?"

"...Touche."

At that time, rustles echoed from the nearby thicket.

Leon immediately rushed forward, hatchet in one hand and laser pistol in the other.

Ada fell back, her own laser pistol trained on the source of the noise.

And then a petite Japanese girl with part of her hair fashioned in short twin pony-tails on the sides of her head walked out. The rest of her black long hair trailed behind her as she walked, fluttering along with the tattered black and white coat she wore as a cape.

Kizuna Kazayama, the Legendary Hunting Hero.

Holding her weapon in its fishing rod form, she paused when she saw Leon and Ada and said, "Huh? Did you two get trapped in the Infinite Labyrinth too? Wait, are those real laser guns?!"

Leon blinked. Then he took in the girl's strange attire. After that, he said, "Huh. Guess we're in an RPG."

Ada sighed. "Hubby, please..."

===

I had a bad feeling. My senses, honed from a lifetime of my mom dragging me into either life-threatening or dignity-threatening situations were screaming at me that she was close.

Not 'she'll be here in an hour' close but definitely 'she'll be here within the week' close.

And having Mom nearby NEVER ended well for me.

Well, unless Dad was here too. Then I could at least distract her by having Dad take the heat from her attention.

...But if Dad was here too then he was going to definitely give me a talk. Especially since I had actual kids now. And at least three separate women interested in me.

I think he'd approve of Libertas and the whole burning the world to the ground thing, but relationships...

He wasn't really one in a position to talk about them, but he loved the 'do as I say, not as I do' style of parenting...

"Father."

I blinked and realized Bahamut was staring at me. And that I had been staring blankly into the horizon for a while.

"...Right. Sorry about that, Boy."

Bahamut looked concerned and said, "...Is having Grandmother and Grandfather in this world truly a bad thing?"

"Not a BAD thing. But... Well. How do I put it?"

Mom had been bugging me about grandkids for a while.

Dad hadn't, but he had kept complaining about how he was getting old and would like to retire. And he kept hinting that he'd like to retire to babysit some kids.

Sooo.

If they met Mina, Nina, and Bahamut... not to mention Lia and Sylvia.

Then if they saw just how Rishia, Daji, and Mirellia were all very much into me...

"...They love drama shows?"

Bahamut blinked. Then he furrowed his brow, as if searching for information in his own head... which he probably was. And then his eyes widened in understanding. "Ah."

"Yes."

Bahamut paused and said, "...At least Grandfather and Grandmother are normal humans?"

"You see, you SAY that. But Dad and Mom are both VERY resourceful. And since this is a world where any person can level up after they get a status... and where your skills turn into a personal cheat when you first enter and the system parses your experiences... I am VERY concerned."

"...Well. That sounds like a you problem, Father."

"WHY YOU LITTLE...!"

Bahamut laughed and ran away, his green hair shifting as he sprinted.

I started to run after him. But then, being my kid, Bahamut immediately joined up with Melty, Filo, and Morgan, meaning I'd have to drag him out in front of those three.

Bahamut gave me a smug look before turning his attention to chatting with the three on the other side of the ship.

I rolled my eyes and murmured, "Kids."

This was definitely karma, wasn't it?

I was mildly regretting causing such a hassle for Mom in the past...

...Actually, considering I apparently wasn't 100% human and definitely had tampered DNA, something Mom DEFINITELY would have done to make sure her baby boy had all the best fighting chances in the world, I took that back.

Karma ran multiple generations, it seemed.

But anyway.

I took a quick look around to survey the situation.

The boat we were on was surprisingly speedy. It looked like we'd make landfall within the hour at the Cal Mira Archipelago.

I had expected there to be random encounters with monsters in the sea...

But then I remembered that my Ominous Aura was a thing, and that at this point, pretty much every monster or monster-adjacent being knew better than to mess with me.

Well, unless they were feeling particularly ballsy, like a few of the monsters who thought they were stronger than my black sedan.

But I guess that there weren't any krakens or other sea monsters in the mood to test their luck today, so we were making good progress.

As a status check for everyone else...

Ren was still passed out among the barrels, sleeping like a baby.

Mirellia had retired to below deck to sleep.

Itsuki was being pampered by Elena still, now being fed grapes that she had pulled out from somewhere. And definitely being spoiled.

...He also didn't see the calculating smile on Elena's face. The sort that made it clear she was definitely just looking at Itsuki like a golden ticket instead of someone she loved...

'Well, that explains how he spiraled in the story.'

Itsuki seemed to have a bad habit of clinging to people who validated him, and Elena was absolutely whispering sweet nothings, talking him up, and praising him like she was completely enamored with him.

In short...

'He's a goner... but at least she's good for him?'

Elena was a rational sort of woman who cared about her investments. That was why she was still partying with Motoyasu.

...At least, why she said she was.

I had a feeling she was the sort of person who couldn't shake the sunk cost fallacy, so she was also pretty much caught hook, line, and sinker when it came to retiring to a peaceful life.

Speaking of Motoyasu...

...I wouldn't.

I saw Yuki drag him into their fancy golden carriage earlier along with Lyno.

And after that, silence.

Not the sort of silence that came from people sleeping.

But the sort of silence that came from noise cancellation. Like, as if evidence was being erased.

Plus, the carriage was unnaturally still, as if even vibrations were being dampened...

So I decided to not probe too deeply into that.

If that guy decided to commit to the bit and fall into lust, it wasn't my place to judge.

Itsuki and Ren would definitely do enough of that later.

Not to mention the rest of the world considering how Yuki looked, even if she kept insisting she was a grown woman.

But right now, it was quiet. Calm and peaceful.

So...

"...Why do I feel like this is the calm before a storm?"

===

"Alright." Dante walked out of the latest portal after clearing up the mess in the last world. "Where are we now?"

Vergil walked out next, sheathing Yamato at his waist. "Closer. The dragon daring to call itself Elegy of the Soul stated that slaying the Lord of Shadows in this world would lead directly to the World Tree. And with that, we can go to the boy."

Dante adjusted his hat and said, "World Tree? Like that tree you tried growing to become a god back in Red Grave City?"

"...Silence."

Demi-fiend walked out with Pixie, looking around with a bored look.

Nahobino followed after Demi-fiend, looking around with interest.

Dante stretched. "Well. If we've gotta slay this Lord of Shadows, I guess that means there's a hero, right? I mean, there was that blue-haired kid in the last world and that Link guy in the first... So where are we?"

At that time, a mechanical voice echoed from Nahobino. The Proto-fiend that was fused with him.

"Young Man! Everyone! Above!"

Dante glanced up. "Above- IS THAT A GIANT BLUE BLOB WITH A CROWN?!"

Pixie screamed and hid behind Demi-fiend. "EW EW EW! KING! SAVE ME!"

Demi-fiend sighed and flicked his wrist, sending the blob flying back after it crashed down.

But it immediately returned, bouncing with even more speed and...

Glowing purple?

Vergil's eyes widened in shock. "Such power?! Is it going to-"

"HOLY SHIT!" Dante rushed forward and braced himself, taking a stance. "ROYAL GUARD!"

*BOOM*