Chapter 78: DRAGON SLAYER!!!!
Down in the cavern, the massive wings uncoiled, and a colossal, terrifying dragon stood to its full height, causing a low, subterranean rumble shaking the stone beneath the party's feet.
The group stood braced on the precipice of the stone balcony, weapons drawn, teeth gritted, completely expecting a grueling, multi-phase SSS-Rank apocalyptic execution.
Kaz had already accepted his fate of dying via corporate zoning laws, Kashime had his thumb locked over the hammer of his revolver, and Jin was whispering a final prayer to his absent shadow union, occasionally muttering "Arise... Arise... Arise... please...".
Then, a purple communication orb above the cavern ceiling thrummed with life once more, making everyone turn their head.
"Oh, please. Relax, everyone," Mordecai’s voice echoed through the space, sounding deeply amused and mildly judgmental. "Did you genuinely believe I would make you engage in physical combat against a high-tier asset of that structural magnitude after dealing with Larry? Honestly, your perception of our company's corporate resource management is profoundly insulting. Please, make yourselves comfortable."
After his words, a soft, mechanical ping resonated through the air.
Before the bewildered party could process the statement, the hard, jagged obsidian rocks of the balcony magically shifted.
The rough stone gave way to rows of heavily padded, slightly worn but incredibly plush (cheap) theater-style folding seats.
And right in front of each seat, a small spectral tray materialized, holding a large, overflowing tub of glowing, pastel-colored Ethereal Popcorn, a tall glass of Mana Soda fizzing with blue bubbles, and an iced bottle of standard, atomically purified drinking water.
Also, a small digital label on the side of the popcorn tubs read: [Complimentary Concessions Sponsored Openly by Lord Dibbs57. Enjoy the Corporate Spectacle.]
"Sit down and grab some snacks," Mordecai’s voice continued smoothly, the background noise of an executive reclining in a high-back leather chair echoing through the audio link. "The concessions are entirely free of charge, courtesy of our primary investor. Enjoy the show, because I am about to realize the lifelong narrative dream of one of your fellow guild members."
Kaz blinked, looking at the tub of glowing popcorn, then at the massive, terrifying dragon that was currently sitting back down on its haunches like an obedient golden retriever. Then, he slowly lowered his guard, entirely exhausted by the emotional roller coaster of the last hour.
"I don't understand what is happening anymore, and I don't even care," Kaz said, flatly sitting down in the nearest plush chair and pulling a handful of the glowing popcorn into his mouth. He chewed for a fraction of a second before his eyes went wide. "Holy... damn. These are f*cking incredible. It's like sweet, salty, and magical optimization exploded on my tongue simultaneously." He then turned to the white-haired edgelord, "Man, you should try these things."
Kashime stared at his revolver, then at the soda, and let out a defeated sigh. He then holstered his weapon and took a seat next to Kaz, grabbing a paper cup. "If I'm going to watch a company presentation before my character file is wiped, I might as well stay hydrated."
Luna sat down with absolute, royal grace, her dark elf robes settling neatly over the armrests. Her eyes were sharp, analytically tracking the mana density of the popcorn. ‘An entirely stress-free viewing environment designed to lower defensive readiness while providing high-quality nutritional buffs,’ she noted on her hidden parchment. ‘The employee benefits package at Ravenloft Holdings is truly unparalleled. The King of Oakhaven never gave us snacks during a siege. Can't wait to meet the CEO.’
Valeria, Nya, and Seraphina eagerly claimed the remaining front-row seats.
Nya immediately dropped the stainless-steel spoon onto her lap—ready to chew on it again later—scooping large handfuls of ethereal popcorn into her mouth, her cat ears twitching in absolute ecstasy.
"Nya! This is the best dungeon ever, Nya!" the cat-girl cheered through a mouthful of blue mana soda, before moving to lick her wrists.
"Te-hee! It really is a lovely corporate hospitality initiative!" Seraphina giggled, smoothing down her maid apron as she delicately bit into a piece of popcorn.
Valeria huffed, crossing her arms tightly but still reaching over to snatch a piece of popcorn from Nya’s tub. "N-Not that I'm enjoying the entertainment! I'm just consuming necessary stamina calories, baka!"
Down below, the monster let out a massive, thundering roar that shook the perfectly clean stalactites clinging to the ceiling.
"ROOOOOOOOOAAAAAAAARRRRRR!"
The sound was immense, raw, and completely animalistic, cutting through the heavy sulfur smell of the chamber. But right as the echo began to die down, another voice drifted from the deep, dark maintenance tunnels connecting to the far side of the cavern. It was a voice of pure, unbridled, and aggressively unhinged shonen fury.
"DRAGOOOOOOOOOONS! I'M COMING FOR YOU, YOU OVERGROWN, OVERPRICED LIZARD! I WILL AVENGE MY FAMILY! I WILL ERASE YOUR BLOODLINE!"
CRASH.
The reinforced stone wall connecting the maintenance tunnel to the main boss room violently exploded into a shower of pebbles and drywall dust, and charging through the smoke came the (very famous) Dragon Slayer, and his physical transformation was nothing short of apocalyptic.
He looked like a nightmare ripped straight from the highest-budget dark fantasy illustrations.
The protagonist of this chapter was clad in a massive, hyper-detailed suit of heavy plate armor, forged from a pitch-black, obsidian-like alloy and reinforced with jagged, gold-trimmed ridges that ran down his pauldrons. Crimson, vein-like runes pulsed across the dark metal, bleeding a faint heat that warped the air around him. around his waist, a tattered scarlet sash hung low, heavily frayed from a hundred undocumented battles.
His face was completely obscured by an imposing, draconic helmet, its jagged metal horns branching into the smoky air, while twin horizontal visors glowed with a predatory, blood-red light.
A long, torn crimson cape whipped violently behind his shoulders, trailing smoke as he moved. In his hands, he wielded two impossibly long katanas, their blades crackling with a high-density, incandescent energy that bled along the edge like fresh, molten lava. He didn't look like an adventurer; he looked like a god of war dropped into a corporate budget presentation.
But as he broke through the wall, the adventurers on the balcony noticed something deeply, hilariously bizarre about his appearance.
His massive, legendary armor shone with a blinding, mirror-like polish that clashed with the grimy, soot-stained environment of the volcanic sector. The dark metal looked so violently clean that it was reflecting the glowing lava below like a high-definition computer screen.
The reason for this pristine appearance became obvious a split second later.
It was simply because Dragon Slayer hadn't used the dusty, safe quadrants. In his blind, tragic rage, he had sprinted at full Mach 2 velocity straight through the middle of the "EXIT" tunnel he had randomly found thanks to a small escaing gecko he smashed—running directly across every single wet, freshly mopped boundary line that Larry had spent hours perfecting. And Larry had taken that action very, very personally.
Running exactly one inch behind the charging Dragon Slayer at a matching Mach 2 velocity was Larry. The little skeleton’s eye-flames were burning with an absolute, world-ending shade of deep, apocalyptic crimson.
Moving with the blurred, terrifying speed of a high-density industrial Terminator, Larry was aggressively, ruthlessly scrubbing the back of Dragon Slayer's greaves and armor plates with a wet rag while the man was still sprinting.
Right beside Larry, gliding across the polished stone like an Olympic speed skater, was Carry, who was frantically swinging her heavy-duty Swiffer, wiping away the small trails of mud, ash, and soot that Dragon Slayer's heavy boots were tracking onto the floor with every single phrase.
Dragon Slayer didn't even notice the two skeletons performing atomic housekeeping on his moving body since he was too deeply locked into his tragic shonen backstory.
So, he simply leaped from the edge of the shattered walkway, soaring across the cavern toward the central obsidian platform where the monster stood.
Larry and Carry skidded to a violent halt at the absolute edge of the polished maintenance sector, the rubber soles of their boots squeaking against the stone.
The Skeleton Janitor stared after the flying warrior, his eye-flames slowly cooling down from apocalyptic red back to a calm, professional starry white. He raised his yellow rubber glove toward the balcony, delivered a crisp, formal thumbs-up 👍 to the spectators, turned around with a clean mechanical click, and walked back down the hallway with Carry to fix the floor.
Dragon Slayer landed spectacularly on the central platform, his twin katanas slamming into the obsidian with a resonant CLANG.
"Idiot," Kaz remarked from his seat, tossing a piece of popcorn up and catching it in his mouth. "He completely ruined Larry's zone layout, what a waste."
Down on the platform, Luna's eyes gleamed with cold, analytical precision. She pulled out a [SSSS Small Ordinary Notebook] from her pocket and began scribbling. "Subject: Dragon Slayer. Class: Presumptive Warrior. Emotional state: Peak repressed rage. Probability of victory against a god-tier draconic-class entity: 14.7%." She glanced at the popcorn in her hand. "Probability of entertainment value: 100%." She then took a bite.
"FINALLY! I'VE FINALLY FOUND YOU! AFTER ALL THESE YEARS!" Dragon Slayer screamed, his voice echoing through the chamber as he glared at the massive beast before him. "The beast that took everything from me! The monster that reduced my village to ash and left me an orphan in the cold, dark world! I have traveled across worlds just for this exact moment! Prepare to perish, demon!" He continued.
Down in the cavern, the completely brainless, oversized reptile offered no dramatic speech or displayed any higher intelligence. It simply saw a challenger on its platform, bared its rows of jagged teeth, and unleashed a ferocious, mindless screech that vibrated the heavy sulfur air.
"ROOOOOAAAAAAAR!"
After hearing that majestic roar, Dragon Slayer didn't speak. He didn't need words because his blade was his voice, and his voice screamed vengeance.
So, without wasting another moment, he launched himself forward, and the sound of his boots against the obsidian was thunder.
The air around him warped from sheer speed. Just rage. Just pain. Just the memory of a village in flames.
His left katana sliced through the air toward the dragon's head, but the dragon didn't even dodge his hit: he just blocked it with a claw.
CLANG.
The blade shattered, but Dragon Slayer didn't hesitate.
His right katana followed a millisecond later, aimed at the neck.
CLANG.
That one shattered, too. The dragon roared, triumphant. Dragon Slayer didn't retreat. "I knew that these blades were a fake... but I don't need blades," he whispered, and his fists began to glow with a deep, crimson light. "I AM the blade."
The battle quickly intensified as the dragon thrashed around its rocky nest, snapping its jaws wildly.
Dragon Slayer dodged through the raw elemental chaos, his crimson-glowing fists striking the beast's thick scales with brutal kinetic force. "I WILL END YOUR EXISTENCE, DRAGON! YOU WILL DIE BY MY HAND!" He said, fist after fist.
-
Up on the balcony, the audience watched every maneuver like a sports event.
"Wow," Kaz said, taking a sip of his blue mana soda. "Look at that frame rate. The particle effects on that fire breath are insane. This is literally like watching the final episode of an over-budget ufotable adaptation, but better than 4K Dolby Vision."
"His footwork is entirely unoptimized," Kashime noted, his artificial eye whirring as he analyzed the combat logs flitting through the air. "He's leaning too far into his high-tier shonen agility stats. If he doesn't manage his stamina bar, he'll reach critical fatigue before the second phase. But damn... this popcorn is insanely addictive. What flavor is this? Blue raspberry?"
"I think it's sea salt and condensed mana cores," Jin murmured, his edgy persona completely forgotten as he relaxed in his chair, a tiny shadow puppy finally emerging from his sleeve to knee-nibble on a piece of popcorn. "Honestly... this is nice. No one is screaming at me to arise. No one is tracking my kill-count. It’s just... good content. Damn, I missed normal life."
-
The dynamic down below shifted violently as the dragon's tail whipped through the air like a meteor, and Dragon Slayer barely had time to cross his arms in front of his face.
CRACK.
The impact sent him flying backward, making him crash through two obsidian pillars before slamming into the cavern wall, with dust and debris raining down around him.
His HP bar flickered. Red. Critical.
"Is that... is that all you've got?" he coughed, blood dripping from his helmet, probably coming from his lips.
The dragon's eyes glowed with predatory amusement and opened its mouth. Then, a sphere of molten fire began to form in its throat.
Up on the balcony, Kaz stopped chewing.
"Uh... is he going to dodge that?" Kaz asked.
"He doesn't look like he's going to dodge that," Kashime said.
Jin covered his eyes. "He's not going to dodge that, but I know what's going to happen."
"ROOOOOOAAAAAAAAAAR!" The dragon roared, firing a dark fire breath.
The dragon's fire breath engulfed him completely, filling the crater with a violent column of blinding white heat.
In that moment, Dragon Slayer screamed... but not from pain.
He screamed because, from memory, he saw it again.
The flames, every scream of the people, the village elder begging for mercy, his mother pushing him into the well, and his father drawing his sword against an enemy he could never defeat.
"Run, Renneth," his father had said. "Live. Avenge us. Find a wife, and then smile again. We'll always love you, precious one."
And from that moment, Dragon Slayer had run. For years, decades. Through dungeons and dragons and endless, meaningless grinds, only to avenge the family he had lost.
He had run... but not anymore.
Dragon Slayer stood amidst the dying embers of the dragon's fire breath. His armor, except his helmet, was almost entirely gone, his blades were shattered, and his body was broken.
But... he was still standing, like a true man, like someone who knew that he wasn't allowed to die, not yet.
In that moment, Dragon Slayer closed his eyes, and then he took a deep breath.
Not a normal breath, but a theatrical, deliberate, completely unskippable breath.
His chest expanded, and his shoulders rose. The camera angle—if there was one—would have zoomed dramatically into his nostrils.
Up on the balcony, Kaz's eyes went wide.
"OH MY GOD, THAT'S IT!" Kaz shouted, pointing a trembling finger at the warrior below. "THE STRONGEST MOVE IN SHONEN BATTLE ANIMES!"
Kashime blinked. "What? Screaming?"
"NO!" Kaz's voice cracked with desperate intensity. "HE USED THE FLASHBACK BREATHING TECHNIQUE! THE ONE THAT FILLS EVERY PLOT HOLE! HE'S GOING TO SHOW A TWENTY-SECOND MONTAGE OF HIS DEAD FAMILY, AND THEN HE'S AUTOMATICALLY GOING TO WIN!"
Jin leaned forward, intrigued. "Wait, is that an actual technique?" (He perfectly knew that he was one of the first abusers of this technique).
"IT'S THE MOST POWERFUL TECHNIQUE IN EXISTENCE!" Kaz yelled. "YOU CAN'T DEFEAT IT! IT BYPASSES ALL PHYSICS, ALL STATS, ALL LOGIC! THE LONGER THE FLASHBACK, THE STRONGER THE ATTACK!"
"That's... that's not how combat should work," Kashime said flatly, pinching the bridge of his nose.
"THAT'S EXACTLY HOW SHONEN COMBAT WORKS!" Kaz exclaimed.
Down below, Dragon Slayer's eyelids trembled, and a single tear escaped, trailing down his soot-stained cheek covered by his helmet.
"Mother..." he whispered. "Father..." He added, clenching his fists. "This is the day... you'll finally rest in peace."
"SEE?!" Kaz screamed. "HE'S DOING IT! THE FLASHBACK IS LOADING!"
Dragon Slayer's fists began to glow brighter.
"I CAN SEE THEM!" Kaz continued, now standing on his chair. "THE GHOSTS OF HIS FAMILY ARE STANDING BEHIND HIM! THEY'RE NODDING! THEY'RE GIVING HIM PERMISSION TO USE THE FORBIDDEN TECHNIQUE!"
"No one is there," Luna observed, adjusting her glasses.
"THEY'RE THERE IN SPIRIT, LUNA! USE YOUR IMAGINATION!"
Dragon Slayer opened his eyes. They were no longer human. They were twin stars of pure, undiluted vengeance.
"I... I can't fall here..." Dragon Slayer gasped, the emotional motivation matrix inside his brain redlining. "The memory of my mother... the screams of my people... EVERYONE IS CALLING OUT MY NAME!" He shouted.
[LIMIT BREAK ACTIVATED: WRATH OF THE LAST SEED]"FOR MY FAMILY! I'M NOT RUNNING ANYMORE!" he roared, exploding out of the flames.[Stats boosted by 500% for 60 seconds. Death resistance set to: UNSHAKABLE.]
All of his armor, except his helmet and lower part, was gone, but his fists were glowing brighter than the sun.
Then, a blinding, explosive crimson light erupted from his chest, shattering the remaining plates of his dark armor. The shockwave alone pushed the dragon back three full steps. Dragon Slayer's eyes locked with the Dragon's.
The beast was ready to prepare another attack.
Up on the balcony, Kaz leaned forward so fast he almost fell out of his chair.
"OH, HERE WE GO. THIS IS THE PART," Kaz shouted, throwing his hands up.
"The part where he screams for three episodes?" Kashime asked.
"THE PART WHERE HE STOPS SCREAMING AND STARTS FIGHTING!" Kaz countered.
Then, in an instant, Dragon Slayer launched himself off the pillar, literally flying like a meteor of crimson fire, trailing smoke and fury.
The dragon saw him coming and unleashed everything it had—a torrent of molten fire, a barrage of razor-sharp scales, a desperate swing of its massive tail.
Dragon Slayer dodged nothing since he didn't need to. The fire passed through him, and the scales shattered against his aura.
The tail swung through empty air because he was already above it.
Then, he landed on the dragon's snout and looked it directly in the eyes.
"This," he said quietly, "is for my mother." In that moment, Dragon Slayer's right hand began to glow as he prepared his ultimate attack.
He gathered power for a brief moment, then launched himself into the sky. Like a blazing comet, he tore through the air and crashed straight into the dragon's head, his fist punching through its skull in a shower of blood and shattered bone. (Dragon Fist?)
Not metaphorically, but literally.
CRACK.
In that moment, the dragon's body went rigid, and its eyes went wide as its lifeless body collapsed to the floor.
The world seemed to stop around them.
Then, slowly, it began to dissolve into golden particles. Dragon Slayer stood on the creature's collapsing head, his fist still buried in its remains, his chest heaving, his tears mixing with the golden light. "Celestial Dragon... Extermination," he whispered. "Finally."
As Dragon Slayer's fist pierced the dragon's skull, the party on the balcony erupted.
Kaz stood up, throwing popcorn in the air. "LET'S GOOOOO! HE ACCUALLY DID IT!"
Kashime slow clapped. "I take back everything I said about his footwork. That was... that was utterly beautiful."
Jin wiped a tear from his single eye. "He... he really loved his family, didn't he?" He said, remembering his beloved sister.
Luna scribbled furiously. 'The emotional catalyst has successfully overridden the physical limitations of his character build. The correlation between trauma and power output is statistically significant. I must study this further.'
Nya waved Larry's spoon like a pom-pom. "Nya! DRAGON SLAYER! NYA! DRAGON SLAYER!"
Valeria crossed her arms, but smiled. "N-Not that I was rooting for him or anything! It's just... it was a structurally sound technique. Baka."
Seraphina wiped a tear with her maid apron. "Te-hee... he's so brave... I hope he finds peace..."
Then, the golden particles of the dragon didn't scatter. Instead, they hung in the air for a moment, suspended, as if waiting for permission.
Then, they began to swirl. Faster. Faster. A vortex of pure narrative light, spiraling around Dragon Slayer's broken, kneeling form.
Up on the balcony, Jin's eye went wide.
"Wait. I know this. This is... this is the soul absorption sequence," Jin stammered.
"Skyrim," Kaz said, nodding seriously.
"Yep. Skyrim," Kashime agreed.
"He's doing the Skyrim thing," Kaz stated.
"He's clearly absorbing the dragon's soul, I wonder if he's gonna scream louder now," Kashime added.
"THAT'S NOT HOW REAL DRAGONS WORK!" Jin yelled, waving his hands.
"Jin, we're in a fantasy corporate dungeon eating popcorn while another man has punched an overgrown lizard to death. Sit down and enjoy the show," Kaz told him, dragging him back into his seat.
Then, the golden light rushed into Dragon Slayer's chest.
He gasped; his eyes glowed, and then, silence.
[QUEST COMPLETED: REVENGE OF THE EMPIRE]Dragon Slayer knelt in the center of the obsidian platform, surrounded by the fading golden light of the dragon's soul.[EXP Yield: 0 (CEO Directive: Backstory milestones do not generate operational levels)]
[Narrative Status: Fulfilled.]
[New Title Acquired: The Dragonslayer Who Finally Rested.]
His body was broken. His armor was gone. His high-budget katanas were shattered. But, under his helmet, he was finally smiling. For the first time in decades, he was smiling.
"I can hear you," he whispered to the air. "Mother... Father... I can hear you. You're... you're proud of me, right?" A single tear rolled down. "I hope I finally made you proud. I hope you can rest in peace now... I miss you."
Up on the balcony, even Kaz was quiet.
"...Damn it. I didn't sign up for feelings," Kaz muttered softly.
Kashime looked away. "It's just... It's just the popcorn. It's making my eyes water."
Jin was openly crying. "I'M NOT ASHAMED. HE DESERVES THIS."
Dragon Slayer's hands trembled as they reached for the latches of his helmet.
The heavy, spiked metal had been his face for so long that he had almost forgotten what he looked like underneath.
Click. The first latch released. Click. The second. Click. The third.
Then, with a soft hiss of released steam, he lifted the helmet from his head.
The light fell across his face, and everyone remained stunned as they realized that... he was young. Younger than anyone expected.
Twenty-four, maybe twenty-five. His hair was the color of dying embers—deep crimson, wild, matted with sweat and soot, and his eyes were like rubies, bright and fierce, but soft now. Soft with exhaustion. Soft with the peace he had just found.
He had sharp, aristocratic features—a strong jaw, high cheekbones, a nose that had been broken at least twice, and some scars on his face. He was clearly handsome. Not in a polished, princely way, but in a raw, battle-scarred, "I've seen things you wouldn't believe" way.
Kaz let out a low whistle. "Okay. I was not expecting him to be hot."
"Focus," Kashime said.
"I AM focusing. I'm focusing on his bone structure. It's very symmetrical," Kaz argued, with a feeling of envy in his soul.
Then, the purple communication orb thrummed back to life, breaking the silence with its crisp, executive resonance.
"You see, valued adventurers?" Mordecai’s voice echoed, carrying a smooth, undeniably warm, and deeply philosophical tone. "Here at Ravenloft Holdings, we don't just optimize defense grids and process automated invoices. We realize dreams. We provide closure. We look at our clients, and we give them exactly what their souls require to heal."
Kaz, Kashime, and Jin looked down at the weeping crimson-haired warrior, and then they looked at the empty tubs of high-quality popcorn and the clean, comfortable chairs they were sitting in.
A profound, systemic realization began to dawn within their minds.
They thought of Oakhaven and the toxic, hypocritical Church of Light. They thought of Archbishop Gigglesniff screaming about gold donations, and King Cuckus III playing with a golden yo-yo while his kingdom rotted.
They thought of Nick—the farting, squeaking, follower-buying fraud of a Hero who treated his party like objects and used generic shonen platitudes to manipulate them into a meat grinder.
The Church said that everyone should have fought against the reincarnation of Aldmax, the true monster. But the "Evil" Dark Lord had just spent administrative resources to allow a broken orphan to find emotional peace, while providing his invaders with free three-ply toilet paper, air conditioning, and premium snacks.
"Oakhaven is an absolute, unmitigated piece of sh*t kingdom," Kaz said flatly, tossing his empty cup into the trash can.
"The strategic value of the Church's narrative is a negative asset," Luna agreed, her voice hard with pure corporate conviction. "Their business model is entirely corrupt. I am officially blacklisting their guild from my ledger."
"I am definitely sending my resume to this place," Kashime muttered, rubbing his chin. "This corporate environment is highly optimal for long-term career satisfaction."
"Now then," Mordecai’s voice resonated one final time from the orb. "Please proceed through the secure automated corridor located immediately to your right. Your egress routine is finalized. But before you step back onto the northern plains... another... let's call it a highly educational public relations spectacle awaits you. Have a pleasant afternoon."
The communication orb turned off with a soft click.
The adventurers then stood up from their comfortable chairs, with their bodies rested, their mana fully restored, and their ideological alignments completely flipped.
They walked down the stairs of the balcony, gently helping the emotionally exhausted Dragon Slayer to his feet.
The crimson-haired warrior offered them a weak, incredibly grateful smile, his eyes finally peaceful as he carried his helmet under his arm.
They marched together toward the designated exit archway on the right side of the cavern. They stepped through the threshold, leaving the volcanic sector behind, ready to witness the final, pathetic act of the Chosen Hero’s narrative descent. The true corporate restructure of Aethelgard was officially underway.
As the last adventurer stepped through the exit archway, the purple communication orb flickered one final time.
"Rest now, Dragon Slayer. You've earned it, I'll be sure to give you a proper life now," Mordecai said softly, almost to himself. Then, a pause. "And Larry? Good work on the floors."
Deep in the maintenance corridors, Larry paused his scrubbing. He looked up at a nearby speaker, gave a crisp 👍, and returned to work.
Scrik. Scrik. Scrik.
Luna_Fan_01: "The King of Oakhaven never gave us snacks during a siege." Luna just destroyed the monarchy with one line. QUEEN.NTR_Lover69: Mordecai: "relax, here's some popcorn" while a dragon is literally breathing fire below them. This man is a menace. I love him.
Larry_Simp_01: LARRY IS RUNNING AT MACH 2. WITH A RAG. CARRY IS GLIDING LIKE AN OLYMPIC SKATER. "GET BACK HERE, YOU UNSANITARY REBEEEEEL!" BEST CHASE SCENE IN LITERARY HISTORY.
XxShadowSlayerxX: Kaz: "Idiot. He completely ruined Larry's zone layout." Kaz is officially part of the custodial team now. He understands the grind.
Luna_Fan_01: "Probability of victory: 14.7%. Probability of entertainment value: 100%." Luna is me. I am Luna. We are all Luna in this dungeon.
Kaz_Simp: "Look at that frame rate. This is like watching an over-budget ufotable adaptation." Kaz just described the chapter I'm reading. Meta.
Jin_Defense_Squad: Jin has a shadow puppy eating popcorn from his sleeve and he said "this is nice. No one is screaming at me to arise." JIN IS AT PEACE. BEST MOMENT.
XxShadowSlayerxX: "HE USED THE FLASHBACK BREATH! THE ONE THAT FILLS PLOT HOLES!" Kaz just described every shonen from the last decade. Too real.
NTR_Lover69: "THE LONGER THE FLASHBACK, THE STRONGER THE ATTACK!" Kaz understands anime physics better than any writer. Give this man a reward.
Luna_Fan_01: "No one is there." "THEY'RE THERE IN SPIRIT, LUNA! USE YOUR IMAGINATION!" Kaz and Luna are the perfect comedy duo.
DragonSlayerFan_01: "This is for my mother." FIST THROUGH DRAGON SKULL. NOT METAPHORICALLY. LITERALLY. MY BOY DID IT.
Jin_Defense_Squad: "Wait. I know this. This is the soul absorption sequence." "Skyrim." "Skyrim." "THAT'S NOT HOW REAL DRAGONS WORK!" "Jin, sit down and enjoy the show." This dialogue is the entire chapter summarized.
Power_Scaler_24: Goku absorbs the soul in 0.5 seconds and then oneshots with 0.000001% power. Dragon Slayer took 30 seconds. Goku >>> Dragon Slayer. Simple math.
Anime_Math_Genius: @Power_Scaler_24 Goku doesn't have a tragic backstory of a burned village. Emotional multiplier is higher. Dragon Slayer had +500% repressed rage. Goku had hunger. Dragon Slayer >>> Goku. Despair math.
Power_Scaler_24: @Anime_Math_Genius fuck you
XxShadowSlayerxX: I got lost halfway through. But Dragon Slayer punched a dragon. Goku isn't here. So Dragon Slayer wins.
DragonSlayerFan_01: HE TAKES OFF THE HELMET. HE'S HOT. 24 YEARS. RED HAIR. RUBY EYES. AND I'M CRYING FOR HIM. CHARACTER ARC COMPLETE.
Kaz_Simp: "Okay. I was not expecting him to be hot." "Focus." "I AM focusing. I'm focusing on his bone structure. It's very symmetrical." Kaz just ruined a dramatic moment with a facial symmetry joke. HE'S THE BEST.
NTR_Lover69: Valeria crying while acting like a tsundere. Nya waving Larry's spoon like a pom-pom. Jin screaming "I'M NOT ASHAMED. HE DESERVES THIS." Everyone is having a moment. Beautiful.
Kashime_Destroyer: "I am definitely sending my resume to this place." KASHIME JUST CONFIRMED HER DEFECTION. THE EDGELORD JOINS THE DARK SIDE. LET'S GO.
XxShadowSlayerxX: Lmao. Even Kashime started to hate Oakhaven. That's utterly funny.
Jin_Simp4: "OH BOY! HE HEALED FROM HIS TRAUMA!"
NTR_Lover69: "Oakhaven is an absolute, unmitigated piece of sh*t kingdom." Kaz just said out loud what every reader has been thinking for chapters. Thank you, Kaz. Voice of reason.
GoonerKing: The Dark Lord offered: 1) bathrooms with three-ply tissue 2) air conditioning 3) free popcorn 4) dream fulfillment. The Church offered: 1) taxes 2) corruption 3) a farting hero. The choice is obvious.
Larry_Simp_01: "Rest now, Dragon Slayer. You've earned it." Mordecai closing with emotion. "And Larry? Good work on the floors." AND IMMEDIATELY BACK TO COMEDY. THIS MAN IS A GENIUS.
Carry_Simp_01: Carry wiping the mirror. Larry checking his reflection in toilet water. The synchronized 👍. "The facilities were sanitized. The company was ready." THIS SHOULD BE RAVENLOFT HOLDINGS' TAGLINE.
BakuDeku_CANON: IzuOcha was never canon! Author forced it at the end because of fan pressure! The real ship is—
Higher_Realms_Chat_Moderator: [User BakuDeku_CANON banned for violating Rule #4: 'No shipping wars in the chat.']
NTR_Lover69: Only in this chat you go from "Goku vs Dragon Slayer" to "MHA shipping wars" in three seconds. I love this place.
SystemAdmin: Final chapter statistics: Popcorn consumed: 247 tubs. Tears shed: 12 (8 joy, 4 emotional). Facial asymmetries noted: 1. Bone structure validation: COMPLETE. Larry thumbs-ups deployed: 3. Chapter status: CERTIFIED MASTERPIECE.
Larry_Simp_01: Scrik. Scrik. Scrik. 👍