Chapter 35: The Discord call and Revelation of Vespera.
Outside, the air of Oakhaven was crisp and clear, completely oblivious to the narrative bomb that had just detonated inside the tavern.
Mordecai walked at a brisk pace, pulling up his internal HUD to check his mana levels. The [Edgelord Rizz: Physical Edition] maneuver had surprisingly not drained his reserves, but it had definitely drained his patience.
Moreover, the [CLICHE' NAUSEA] debuff was hitting harder than usual.
"My Lord," Pyroetta spoke up, matching his stride. Her face was still flushed with residual anger. "Why did you... touch the enemy? I could have incinerated her. It would have been highly efficient! It should've been me, not her!" The mosquito added.
"It was a System Override, Pyroetta," Mordecai sighed, rubbing his temples. "The management upstairs panicked because the plot was advancing too quickly. They forced a trope to distract her. It’s the equivalent of HR throwing a pizza party to stop employees from unionizing. It’s cheap, it’s annoying, but it works."
The mosquito surely didn't understand what he meant by saying 'System Override'. Her internal software was rebooting, so all she felt was only jealousy and anger.
Vera clanked beside him. "Boss. She looked at you like you were... food. Should I prepare a preemptive strike on the Heroes' Palace? I can drop a localized meteor from the stratosphere. They won't even see it coming."
"Negative, Vera. That would be an unauthorized use of company assets," Mordecai replied. "Besides, the System has explicitly stated that the 'Revenge Quest' is currently unavailable. If we attack now, we'll hit a plot wall. We need to focus on resource gathering. Which brings us to our actual job."
"...System?" Vera asked, confused.
Mordecai looked at her, forgetting that he was one of the few humans with an IQ higher than average.
"Oh, nothing in particular. Just imagine that an ancient being is constantly talking and giving orders." He sighed.
Vera nodded, not asking further questions.
Then, Mordecai used his [Telepathy] to call out for Ugo.
He stopped in a secluded alley of the city and started to talk. Vera and Pyroetta were guarding him.
<<Ugo,>> Mordecai called, his mental voice cutting through the ether like a sharp memo.
<<Yes, My Leader? Director of Post-Mortem Human Resources and Spectral Compliance, reporting for duty,>> Ugo’s voice echoed, crisp and eager to please. <<What is the issue?>>
<<Tell me about this dungeon you told me about. I saw nothing on the Guild board, but I overheard that the adventurers hate it. What exactly makes the 'Meander of the Damned' so infamous? I need a full risk assessment before we deploy company assets.>>
Ugo let out a spectral sigh that vibrated through the hilt of the Sword of Eternal Damnation. <<My Leader, to put it in terms you would appreciate... it is a catastrophic failure of architectural development and narrative pacing. It is technically classified as a C-Rank dungeon, but the danger does not come from the monsters. The danger comes from the 'bugs'.>>
<<Bugs? You mean giant insects?>> Mordecai asked, narrowing his single violet eye.
<<No, My Leader. I mean structural and logical anomalies. Glitches in the World's System,>> Ugo clarified, sounding deeply offended by the dungeon's existence. <<The creator of this labyrinth clearly copy-pasted the same grey-stone corridor asset fourteen thousand times to save on mana-generation costs. There are invisible walls in the middle of hallways. The pathfinding AI for the skeletal rats is completely broken—they just run face-first into the corners and vibrate aggressively.>>
'Ah, he's speaking just like a normal human being.'
Mordecai stopped walking, a look of profound disgust crossing his face—lazy programming.
<<It gets worse, My Leader,>> Ugo continued. <<There are poison swamps that deal zero damage but reduce movement speed by ninety percent for absolutely no reason. The slime molds duplicate exponentially when hit, but their loot tables are empty. Some doors require three specific golden keys, but the keys are hidden inside the stomachs of completely random, unmarked trash mobs that respawn every four minutes. It is a monument to inefficient level design. Ninety percent of adventurers who enter don't die; they rage-quit and abandon their quests because they spent six hours walking in a circle.>>
Mordecai digested this information. A normal adventurer would have turned back. A normal Hero would have cursed the Gods.
Mordecai, however, felt a deep, warm sense of corporate satisfaction.
<<Incredible,>> Mordecai whispered, a genuine, albeit creepy, smile forming on his lips. <<A completely unregulated, un-harvested ecosystem of low-density mana. The adventurers avoid it because it lacks 'epic loot' and 'glory'. But thousands of minor mobs just sitting there, vibrating against walls, waiting to be processed? Ugo, you don't see a buggy dungeon. You see a raw materials warehouse with zero security. This is gonna be a great second base.>>
<<Ah. Your logistical vision is unparalleled, My Leader,>> Ugo praised. <<But before we proceed, I must submit my quarterly HR report regarding your orders about auditing the souls inside the [Sword of Eternal Damnation].>>
Mordecai leaned against the cool brick wall of the alleyway, crossing his arms. <<Go ahead. I promoted you to audit the souls within the blade. Catalog their skills, their psychological profiles, and draft those binding Part-Time, Non-Remunerated Apprenticeship Contracts. How is the workforce looking?>>
<<The audit is at 99.4% completion, My Leader!>> Ugo announced proudly. <<I have successfully processed and categorized 42,069 souls. The psychological profiles were largely monotonous—mostly 'angry at the Heroes', 'depressed about being used as a sentient battery', or even 'misunderstood villain'. However, after a few mandatory seminars on 'Corporate Synergy and the Value of Unpaid Overtime', I managed to get them all to sign the waivers of their spectral rights. We now have a fully functional ghost-workforce ready to haunt, sort, and file on your command.>>
<<Acceptable efficiency, Ugo. And the second task? I asked you to find every contract, every soul-bond Aldmax ever forged. Fragments of his true work.>>
The spectral voice took on a hushed, reverent tone. <<I found one, My Leader. And it is entirely relevant to our current location. Deep within the core files of Aldmax's residual memory, I located an active, unbroken soul-bond. It belongs to a direct subordinate of yours. A Chief Scientific Officer from the old days.>>
Mordecai’s eye widened slightly. <<A survivor? Where?>>
<<At the bottom of this very buggy dungeon, My Leader,>> Ugo revealed. <<Her name is Vespera, the Crimson Catalyst. She was Aldmax's most brilliant Demonic Alchemist. When the Heroes breached your old castle millennia ago, you ordered her to take the research data and hide. She sealed herself at the bottom of the Meander of the Damned, wrapping the dungeon in these 'glitches' to deter the Heroes from finding her. She has been down there for all these years, My Leader. Waiting for your return. Brewing, researching, and hoarding materials.>>
Mordecai’s breath caught in his throat. Not out of emotional attachment, but out of sheer financial awe.
<<Three thousand years of uninterrupted Research & Development...>> Mordecai calculated, his brain running the numbers at lightning speed. <<With zero overhead costs. I don't have any salary demands. No vacation days taken. Ugo... we aren't just going into this dungeon to grind slimes. We are going to acquire a subsidiary that has been compounding interest for millennia.>>
<<Indeed, My Leader. Vespera is the final boss of this labyrinth. Though I suspect she will be quite... emotional upon seeing you. So be careful, she's a pervert.>>
<<Emotions are just unoptimized data, Ugo. Prepare the re-onboarding paperwork,>> Mordecai ordered, cutting the telepathic link.
He stepped out of the alleyway, looking at his two current employees.
"Let's go, we gotta walk for a bit," Mordecai said.
His two subordinates followed him without speaking a word.
[FEEDBACKS FROM THE HIGHER REALMS CHAT: CONNECTION RESTORED]WAIFU_HUNTER99: HOLD UP. DID HE SAY, DEMON ALCHEMIST?
NTR_Lover69: NEW WAIFU DETECTED. I REPEAT. NEW WAIFU DETECTED.
PlotArmorEnjoyer: 3000 YEARS LOYAL EMPLOYEE??? BEST GIRL ALREADY.
DragonLover77: PLEASE TELL ME SHE'S INSANE. I WANT HER TO BE INSANE.
TsundereSupremacy: PYROETTA IS GOING TO LOSE HER MIND LMAOOOO
Pyroetta_Lover04: DON'T YOU DARE ADD ANOTHER DEMON GIRL. SHE'S TRYING HER BEST.
CorporateSlave42: HE CALLED IT AN ACQUISITION 💀💀💀
LUKAS_THE_GREAT: THIS ISN'T A RAID. THIS IS A MERGER.
Vanilla_Lover69: WATCH HER FALL IN LOVE WITH HIM IN 3 SECONDS
WAIFU_HUNTER99: BETTING 500 COINS, SHE CALLS HIM "MY LORD" AND BLUSHES
TsundereSupremacy: PYROETTA JEALOUS ARC LETS GOOOOOO
JinWoo: 3000 YEARS WAITING FOR HER BOSS??? THIS IS NOT A WAIFU. THIS IS A RELIGION
SystemAdmin: PLEASE KEEP REACTIONS WITHIN ACCEPTABLE DEGENERACY LIMITS.
arisebutcorporate: imagine saying ARISE and getting an HR department instead