Dungeon of Doors

The weight of my sword in my hands grows only slightly heavier with each swing. Bug guts and bluish green ichor stain the blade. I grin as we see less and less of the confounded things the longer we fight. Most of the stupid creatures have fallen to my blade, but a few have been the boys' handiwork. Compared to swarmers, these things are a complete joke.

"There's just a few ahead. They're actually flying away, hah!"

I smirk as I begin crossing the next bridge. We're about halfway through the canyon now, and in the distance I can see the river abruptly ends. My steps are full of confidence as I make my way toward the frightened bugs. They're flying in erratic little circles, scared out of their wits by our brilliant blade work.

An especially loud creak of wood beneath me draws my brows together. Geoff shouts something toward me, but I can't hear him, just the sound of the water rushing beneath the bridge and my own heartbeat. The dungeon got me good this time.

The loud snap of wood ripping apart is followed by me plunging beneath the water's surface. My eyes sting as I blink rapidly, struggling to adjust to the cold water. When my eyes finally manage to see properly I'm face to face with some kind of large fish with nasty teeth. Shit! Those stupid toads were bad enough, but now this dungeon has monster fish?

I struggle to swing my sword under the water. It's like I'm moving in slow motion, and by the time my blade hits the fish it's like I'm simply bumping it. The thing doesn't even seem interested in me. I bite my tongue, wanting to curse at the thing for behaving as if I'm no threat to it. The current tugs at my body. I'm floating away from the fish and downstream.

Splashing to the surface, I take a deep breath. I can hear the boys hollering like a bunch of horny coyotes, their voices muddled by the sound of water all around me. I take a few quick overhead strokes to swim to shore. My clothing is completely soaked, and I feel miserable, but I'm unharmed.

"Boss! Thank God you're alive!"

"Fuck God, I'm alive because those stupid fish aren't hungry."

"Fish?"

I pull my shirt off and start to shake the thing out, trying to get it a bit dryer so I can continue with the delve. In the meantime Geoff explains what I missed. Apparently he was trying to warn me about the bridge but it was too late. None of the bridges in the first half of the canyon made any sounds, but that one creaked.

As he's talking Dick and Clyde start bumbling their way toward us. The buffoons almost trip over one another to be first to cross the bridge, and I look up just in time to see Clyde plunge into the river like I did. Dick starts to laugh, pointing.

"Hah! Dirt fer brains! I told you to watch your feet!"

Much to my irritation this is immediately followed by Dick tripping and falling face first into the current. The sounds of him sputtering are mixed with Clyde's flailing attempts to swim. Geoff and I walk over to the bank and I reach out and grab Dick with one hand. Clyde is scooped out by Geoff, and we pull the idiots onto the bank.

"Ugh! Ouch, that smarts somethin' awful, Boss!" Dick complains, rubbing his head.

"What are you whining for? Those fish don't even bite."

"Hit my head on the bridge when I fell, that's all..."

I roll my eyes at the big man's lack of grace. Can't even fall down correctly, somehow.

We spend some time recuperating after getting dunked into the cold water. Once we've dried slightly and can move properly we set back on the path to the end of this first level of the dungeon. This time Geoff leads the way, his keen senses necessary when the bridges are unreliable. He saves us a lot of time by pointing out which boards are safe.

It doesn't take long before we're nearly there. One bridge is all that stands between us and the loot. I can see the treasure chest, half sunken into the muddy soil of this last chunk of walkable land. The rushing noise of a waterfall can be heard. Looks like the end of the line.

"There's the loot! Awesome, now we can finally get out of this stupid-"

Clyde's words are cut short as he steps on an unstable board. His eagerness is a massive detriment, and he actually pushes Geoff into the drink as he falls overboard. I clench my jaw in a vain attempt to control my anger. This buffoon is putting our lives at risk with his idiocy.

I lunge down and grab ahold of Geoff before he can drift too far. He manages to clamber back onto a section of dry land, but Clyde isn't so lucky. With no one grabbing his hand he starts to float around the bend and toward the waterfall edge. He's screaming, and flailing like a moron.

"What's your problem, Clyde? Get your ass on the shore!"

It's only when Clyde raises his arm during his thrashing that I see why he's screaming his head off. There's one of those great pikes stuck to his arm, its teeth sunk into his flesh. Those things ignored me earlier. Now they attack Clyde? What is so different here?

Geoff curses under his breath "Boss, he's bleeding. Those damn fish are set off by the blood!"

"Just Clyde's luck, ain't it? Let's pull him out."

Dick and I march over to the other side and catch the poor man before he can drop off the edge into what looks like a nauseating long drop. There's an ocean down there, vast and blue, but I think the fall would kill him regardless.

"Oh shit, he don't look so good..."

My expression sours as I get a good look at Clyde. His clothes are all torn up, and he's bleeding like a stuck pig. He's breathing real heavily now that we've got him out of the water. Geoff shuffles over with a pensive look on his face. Probably doesn't want to lose Clyde.

"Think he'll make it?" I ask Geoff.

"N-Not without a potion, he won't."

I grind my teeth a little in irritation. I don't like Clyde. He is an idiot, and a liability for the group. His mistakes cost us a lot every time he makes them. Despite all of that I don't want him to die to a couple of stupid fish on the first level of a dungeon.

"Geoff, check the chest."

My hands work quickly and quietly as I tear my own clothing to make a few shitty bandages for Clyde. I do my best to work fast, listening as I hear the lid of the chest creak open behind me. Geoff fiddles with it. The sound of glass clinking off metal gives me a bit of hope for Clyde.

"Healing potion?" I ask, not turning around as I work.

Geoff doesn't answer me right away. That puts a pit in my stomach. I finish typing off a bandage before glancing over my shoulder to see Geoff holding up some kind of potion. Problem is it isn't red, but blue. It's bubbling like crazy too.

The sound of Clyde coughing draws my eyes back to him. I've got him bandaged up, but he's acting like it isn't enough. His body is shaking slightly as he lies there.

"Hey, uh, Boss?"

"What is it, Dick?" I question, scowling.

"You know that thing about Clyde?"

What the hell is Dick talking about? Why be so damn vague when we're about to watch one of our own bleed out in front of us? I'm about ready to lay into him when I notice Clyde's got his eyes screwed shut so tight it looks downright painful.

Clyde doesn't do well with pain. That's what Dick is talking about.

Now we don't have any potions, and even though we got loot there isn't a healing potion.

"I swear on my life that if you're playing it up to get your boo boos all healed up by some fancy red juice I will tear you a new one and stick my sword straight up it, Clyde!"

There's a whimper from Clyde as he tenses up. Geoff walks over and puts a hand on my shoulder. He motions to the mystery bottle in his hand, and I get what he's thinking. I take the bubbling tonic and then uncork it. I bring the bottle to Clyde's lips.

"Here, Clyde. Drink up your 'healing' potion."

Clyde is too dumb to notice my sarcasm. He does look a bit confused by the bubbling though, and as he gulps down some of the potion he suddenly goes wide eyed. He stands up as if he's totally fine, his bandaged body suddenly well enough to hop around like a chicken with its head cut off. He thumps his chest, coughing and sputtering like a fool.

"Wha- Guh- This! Ugh?! Boss what'd you give- Ghk!"

The three of us watch with mixed expressions as Clyde clutches his throat, touching it as if searching for something he never finds. His hand pats his own chest as he heaves like a fish out of water. We take a few steps back as he stumbles forward. I step aside the man as he stumbles toward the water. The oaf trips over his own feet in his panic, and lands with his head in the water and the rest of him in the mud.

We watch for several seconds as he... Lies there. He isn't moving, at least not getting up, but he is breathing somehow. My brows knit together as I watch Clyde take deep breaths despite having his face completely immersed in the water.

"What the fuck?" Dick mutters.

I take a few steps forward before grabbing Clyde by the shoulder and pulling him up and out of the water. He looks at me with a far off expression, coughing, water spurting from his mouth and dripping down his chin. Then he's breathing normally.

"What in the world is wrong with you, Clyde? You trying to drown yourself?!"

"Wasn't drowning nobody!"

Geoff stops me before I can slap the damn fool. First he pretends he's in mortal danger just to try and get a healing potion to ease his pain, and now he's acting crazy. I'm about to lay into the man with words when Geoff speaks up.

"Boss, I think it's the potion."

"The potion? What about the potion?"

"We fed it to Clyde and he acted like he was choking. Then he fell down and started breathing in the water, but he's fine, breathing air now like normal. Maybe the potion lets you breathe water like some kind of fish?"

Normally I'd be dismissive of such a weird concept. What kind of medicine makes you into a fish person? That's just hogwash, but coming from Geoff, and inside a dungeon--which used to be a preposterous idea--I can almost believe it.

"Maybe you're right. Let me try it-"

I uncork the bottle and tip it back, drinking a sip of the bubbling blue fluid. It feels strange as it slips down my throat. Like tiny little explosions dancing across my tongue and flesh. When it hits my belly I choke. My chest hurts, feeling tight as little tiny bursting sensations wrack my lungs. I wheeze, breathing becoming difficult. My eyes water as the change finishes.

"You okay Boss?!"

"I-I'm fine! Fuck, that ain't right."

Shaking off the experience isn't hard for a guy like me. With the strange feeling lingering in my chest, I dip down and carefully dip my head into the water. The sensation is uncomfortable at first. My eyes sting slightly and my ears fill with river water. Then I go against my instincts, and open my mouth. I let the water rush into my mouth and try to breathe.

The choking painful experience I should have never comes. Instead I feel the cool water fill my lungs and breath as if it's air. The whole thing is like something out of a dream.

I lift my head from the water and cough up a bucketful before turning to Geoff. He looks at me, aghast, and I smirk back at him.

"This shit is way better than a healing potion, Geoff!"