Dark Explorations

(Alan POV)

It was starting to feel like freshman year of college again in my apartment. Two new roommates I had never met before who I am forced to interact with daily while also tackling complex assignments. It was surprisingly fun. Sofia made for mixed company due to her frequent tendency towards apathy and outright distaste for my existence. Alice on the other hand I found to be an extremely easy friend. Her timid nature made her quite submissive and amendable which was great as a project partner. Her research skills were simply unbeatable. I had originally expected to take two to three weeks compiling on the necessary data and research. Alice turned that task into one done in five days. All that was left was to monitor Roxane’s online activity.

For this reason, I decided to take it slower this Saturday. A quicker upload schedule would be beneficial to my channel, but burnout was just as much a threat to the artist as poverty. It was impossible to not notice how True Crime went from a mere hobby and fascination to career in the last few months. I took measures to preemptively combat burnout as a priority, especially as my channel grew. If these two staying here become a more long term fact in my life, I need to double down on burnout prevention. That is why I decided to take my time cooking lunch for Sofia and I. I picked up cooking in college when I grew tired of the poor quality food in the West Virginia University Dining Hall. It’s a great way to make sure you stay healthy while enjoying life to the fullest. Ironically, this has been one of the few times Sofia has really warmed up to me. I took note of her eating habits on the day we went grocery shopping and from there easily was able to create meals she would like. Of course, Sofia would tell me I didn’t need to make her food. I know I didn’t for every other roommate I had. They say the way to someone’s heart is their stomach, I don’t need her to love me, just like me enough to not kill me if I make her mad.

I found that Sofia has two opposite priorities when eating. One is protein count. Despite not dressing overtly sexually or exposing skin, she is very prideful of her highly muscular body. I’ve seen her on numerous occasions flex her muscles and push on them to test their strength, followed by looking back at me to make sure I hadn’t seen her doing this. So if I cook for her, I always prioritize high protein and say as such. She doesn’t acknowledge that she wants high protein, but the look on her face shows she’s pleased whenever I bring up protein counts. Despite caring about protein and appearing about as fit as an action hero, the second opposite desire of Sofia is for simple foods and sweets. It’s a childish eating habit that most people grow out of when they get older. A child wants simple sandwiches, chicken nuggets, and other similar foods because it does not harm their more sensitive taste buds. As you grow up, you fall out of this routine when your taste buds mellow out. Sofia seems to have never grown up from that phase and frequently is happy to microwave harmless meals for her pallet. With all that in mind, the meal I spent today making was a simple yet great tasting protein Mac n Cheese with Honey BBQ grilled chicken bites. It was something that took enough time and patience that it allowed me to separate from my work mentally and prevent burnout, while also meeting Sofia’s dietary preferences.

Disappointingly, I could not do the same process for my other roommate. I spoke to Alice far more often, but not once had I seen her physical body since Sunday night. She would not even be seen on calls as it was simply her name listed on the contact photo. Despite the amount of conversation with her, she was rarely ever giving me information about herself. She was shy. Cripplingly so. The same personality which made her so great a research assistant made her a nightmare to actually form a connection with. Part of my original plan for survival was to get her to connect with me and help in escaping. That wasn’t going to happen if I couldn’t even convince her to share a meal with me. I found myself asking the question rather randomly as I served the meal onto two plates for both Sofia and I. Sofia sat across the counter from me and my phone nearby so I could talk to Alice.

“Why don’t you ever come out in your real body?”

Sofia gave me a wide-eyed shocked and confused expression while I could hear static through the phone for a moment before Alice spoke.

“Huh!?”

That was all she managed to get out as a weak and confused squeak. I handed Sofia her plate, but she kept standing to watch the conversation unfold. I reiterated my question.

“I was just thinking. You’re basically living here, why not join us for meals sometimes?”

I didn’t think it was such an absurd request. Sofia seemed to disagree and did her best to hide her laughter behind her hand. I looked towards her a bit annoyed.

“I’m serious here. Stop being a bully, Sofia.”

She gave up on holding it back and burst out laughing. She waved her hand against me and brushed off my chastisement.

“You couldn’t get that girl to shower if her life was at stake! What makes you think Alice’ll eat your crap!”

I grabbed the plate in front of Sofia and took it back.

“Fine, if that’s what you think. No food for you.”

Sofia immediately stopped laughing and seemed shocked.

“Wait! Hold up, it was a joke. Sorry Alice!”

I looked towards the phone and Sofia did as well expectantly. Alice spoke up after a little bit.

“I-It’s fine. G-Give her the food, A-Alan.”

I handed it back to Sofia and she quickly snatched it and walked away without even a “Thank you for the food”. I looked back down to the phone and pulled it closer so that Alice could see me better from its camera.

“But I was serious, Alice. Why not join us sometimes?”

She didn’t speak for a few moments. I was worried I might have pushed too far. Despite spending nearly every day together, it was only six days. If I wanted to use Alice as a form of protection by getting her to like me, I felt I needed to cross the barrier and interact in the real world. Alice was essentially a ghost in a machine and I had no way to know if anything was real. For all I knew, her stutter and shy attitude was a mirage and she in fact was just as bad as Sofia when it came to being friendly. Right as I began to worry she might hang up or stop talking to me, she managed to squeak a response.

“I… d-don’t know… you saw me last t-time. I’m not s-someone you would want around.”

When I first saw Alice come through the television, I felt myself grow goosebumps. She had this terrifying glitchy feeling to her existence that seemed to trigger my flight or fight reaction. I’m not an idiot who can simply forget such imagery. If I had a better plan of survival, I probably would have told her to stay in the internet and remain comfortable. My plan required me to get to know her and form a bond though. Those in person interactions are paramount to the creation of friendships in short periods of time. It was doubly so with an introvert such as Alice. There was another reason I had faith that I could make this work.

“I don’t think you looked that bad. I definitely caught you at a bad time, but I’m sure if you were more ready you would look good.”

“W-What!?”

She seemed genuinely confused by my statement. Her voice was much louder than usual and seemed to almost turn into static at the end. I will admit that I was definitely stretching the possibility in hope of convincing her, but I wasn’t lying. I can see the good in people as much as the evil. I remembered she was short with a cute face, like a classmate the year below you who looks up to you or your neighbor who followed you around because you were older. I believed it was possible if she was willing to try. Of course, I didn’t need her to fully escape her chosen prison, just to join me enough to grow attached and let Lima Syndrome kick in.

“Yeah, I’m sure with some prep-time you’d look cute. Plus, I'm not asking anything formal. Just so I can get to know you better.”

“You make it sound like a date!”

I heard Sofia yell across the room. She was sitting in front of the television watching some crime drama. I looked up to see her laughing while eating the meal I cooked. I shook my head as she laughed at my poor wording. I could feel my face growing red. I didn’t even want to imagine what my life would like if I ended up dating a serial killer. If anything, I’m sure I’d die before the second date.

“Ignore her, Alice. She’s just trying to embarrass me.”

“I-it’s fine…”

She was still clearly hesitant. I didn’t want Alice to think I was trying to sleep with her. Sofia may find this hilarious, but that was genuinely not my intention. Alice is an ally I need to secure and nothing ruins that like adding romance or sex to your schemes, just ask any medieval politics expert.

“How about for an event or something? Like your birthday! When is it?”

This time luckily she spoke without hesitation and returned to her normal volume. I could still hear a hint of nervousness that wasn’t always there.

“Well, it’s actually the eleventh…”

My brain felt itself buffer for a moment before realizing what she said.

“Wait the eleventh of may? Monday?”

“Um… yeah. I t-turn twenty-one.”

Well that was fortuitous.

“We can have a small party. I’ll bake a cake for you!.”

She was hesitant speaking and her stuttering was even worse than usual as she spoke. Her voice somehow cracked despite its usual high pitch.

“I-I-I don’t know… l-let me t-think about it. I’ll l-let you know.”

I really wasn’t making any progress with her. This is my fault for trying to push the issue. Six days isn’t enough time with someone to force them to make such a huge switch. What I should be considering is what is causing her to want such isolation. With how shy she was, anxiety or depression were incredibly likely. Offering to host a party for her probably only increased either of those. Depression has a way of corrupting one’s mind and making themselves always the problem. Something happy like a birthday party becomes an inconvenience to others and something worth ignoring. I need to figure out a better approach.

“Well, I’ll bake a cake. If you feel like it, you can show up and we’ll sing happy birthday. How does that sound?”

A painfully long second passed before Alice spoke.

“Maybe… I’ll s-see how I feel.”