Dark Explorations

It was around noon when Sofia finally began to wake. She snored heavily until 11:30 and the last thirty minutes were spent slowly turning and fighting against the sunlight which crept through the windows. I tried my best to stay quiet and did a good job mostly. She never reacted to any noise I made as I entered the kitchen. I was hungry and felt that she wouldn’t mind if she woke up and I had food being prepared. I managed to be quiet, but the final cause of her rise was the smell. I decided upon breakfast for lunch and was cooking some bacon and scrambled eggs.

Sofia lifted her head from her pillow as the bacon was finally getting crispy and without opening her eyes sniffed the air. She kept most of the facial piercings in as she slept, but I noticed the lack of lip piercings for a change. Her hair was a mess of bedhead and that seemed to be a consistent theme with her. She kept her Raven hair short but it had a horrible habit of being untamable. She finally opened her eyes and looked towards the kitchen with a raised eyebrow of confusion. I was in front of my stove and raised a pan of sizzling bacon for her to see.

“I’m making a late breakfast. Want some?”

Without saying anything she rolled off of the couch and stood up. She was wearing a simple white hoodie and some black sweatpants. She walked over yawning and eyed the set up in front of me. The eggs were done and waiting to be served and finished strips of bacon lay on a plate. She seemed to eye them suspiciously and looked towards me. I shrugged.

“What? Are you vegan or something?”

She made the first noise of the day as that got her to snort a chuckle. She shook her head before speaking. Her morning voice was extremely deep and scared me for a second before realizing what was happening.

“No, I’m not a fucking vegan. I’m just confused why you’re cooking.”

I put a few strips of bacon on the plate. That should be enough for her and I. I motioned towards the eggs and bacon as if that explained it enough.

“I lived alone. I know how to cook pretty well if I do say so myself.”

Sofia shook her head.

“No, I mean why are you cooking so much?”

I was confused by her question and raised an eyebrow at her question. She looked at me confused as well. I sighed and realized why she was asking.

“I’m cooking enough for both of us. Being a good roommate and all that. You don’t need to be suspicious.”

I grabbed a plate and put a decent portion of both onto it before handing it to her. She hesitated for a moment before grabbing it and walking away. I didn’t expect a thank you, her simply accepting it was progress. I mentally did a fist pump to celebrate and grabbed my own plate. She sat down at the dining table and I sat across. It was large enough that we both had space and could’ve easily fit two other people if we needed.

I watched as she took a bite hesitantly only to look down surprised. I long ago promised myself not to become a slob and learning to cook good food became a necessity in my life. Clearly, those skills are now paying off as Sofia digs into the meal. I felt a sense of pride as she enjoyed it. I didn’t mean to stare, but I must have as Sofia looked towards me suspiciously. I looked back down to my food and changed the subject.

“I have to go to the grocery store today. Didn’t buy enough groceries for two people. Any preferences?”

Sofia slowed her eating to stop and think for a second.

“Can you cook steak?”

I nod but hesitantly smile.

“Yeah, but I can’t exactly buy a ton. Those are expensive in this economy.”

Sofia rolls her eyes and bites into a piece of bacon. With a mouth full of food she counters.

“I thought you were some big influencer. How come you’re so broke?”

I’m a little offended by her criticism of my financial situation. I will admit it is not as comfortable as I would hope, but I feel that comment was unnecessary.

“I’m not that big. I’m still trying to grow my channel. Not exactly living in luxury.”

I sarcastically point to the tiny apartment and Sofia rolls her eyes at me. She swallows her food before pointing her fork at me.

“Don’t bother, I'll come and buy it. I got my own money and I need to get some shit anyways.”

I nod along as she explains. I didn’t want to know where exactly she got her money from. In all likelihood, she didn’t earn it in any form. I looked over towards her belongings, a single backpack and now some clothes left unfolded in the laundry basket. It’s odd to me how little there is.

“How many outfits do you have, Sofia?”

“Huh?”

She’s confused by the questions and notices me looking at her laundry. She thinks for a moment before answering.

“Like three, also the bike jacket. Why?”

I guess I understood why she had so few. When you’re constantly on the move and not showering consistently you could live off of that. But she wasn’t on the move right now.

“You should get some outfits. You don’t need to live out of your backpack and can afford to have other options.”

She looked at me and laughed at my statement.

“What? You want to make me play dress-up or something?”

I shook my head, but smiled as she laughed. She had multiple different laughs from what I’ve heard. She has her sadistic and psychotic one which she made while fighting and being stabbed. She has her condescending and disrespectful one which she uses to mock me. Then this one, a genuine one which I only ever see when she actually thinks something is funny. I smiled in spite of being the butt of the joke, I liked this laugh.

“No, I just mean you can have more options. Plus, that way you don’t have to do laundry every other day.”

She thought about it for a moment between bites of scrambled eggs.

“Fine, whatever you say.”

We finished breakfast a few moments later and hopped into my old truck. I thanked my lucky stars that Sofia didn’t fight about letting me drive my own car. This gave me the relief to know I won’t be subjected to Sofia’s criminal driving habits in my own town. My safety could be assured by that. She hopped into the passenger seat of my 2013 Tacoma and immediately put her feet up on the dashboard without bothering to buckle. I figured in the incident of a crash she’d do more damage to my truck than it could on her and didn’t bother to correct her. Her boots weren’t stained in blood after her work last night, so I let her win that battle before it began.

Before leaving, I constructed a list of items for the grocery store for the week. I couldn’t remember the last time I bought groceries for more than one person and was awfully surprised to realize how small the quantities I bought for myself were in comparison. I effectively was doubling my grocery bill from here on out. Alice’s assistance with the algorithm would make it manageable, but an unpleasant change to my finances. Luckily, the most expensive items, which I would only ever buy for myself during the holidays, were all additions by Sofia which she offered to purchase on her own dime. Those items were exclusively composed of two categories; meats and sweets. It felt like hearing what your teenage child wanted from the store; steak, jerky, candy, and ice cream. I guess it made sense, she hadn’t ever gone grocery shopping for a household.

As I started up my car, my phone automatically connected to the car’s bluetooth station and began playing a random song I had listened to a few days ago. Sofia reached out her hand and motioned for me to give. I wasn’t a selective music listener so I handed it to her and opened up my music app. Without a word, she searched for a few songs and put them into the queue. As I pulled out of the apartment complex, I was mildly surprised at her selection and upon realizing what was playing I found myself chuckling. Sofia turned towards me and gave me a death glare.

“What’s so funny?”

“I’m just amused you chose Linkin Park.”

She raised an eyebrow and seemed almost offended by my statement. I kept my eyes on the road and tried to ignore her while I explained what I meant.

“It’s odd how well it fits you know? When I’ve researched your case, it’s easy to forget there was more to you and your life than just the crimes. I never stopped to consider what music you like. 2000s edgy teen just fits you.”

Her expression shifted from offended to confused as I spoke. It’s strange how easily we flatten people in our minds. When we think about our own lives, we see the full story, the justifications, the embarrassing phases, the small details that make us human. But when we look at someone else, especially someone reduced to a case file, we only see the outline. Every new detail reshapes that image a little. Music taste does it just as much as anything else. I could suddenly picture teenage Sofia blasting Linkin Park or Green Day in her room, and despite how ordinary the image was, I’d somehow never considered it before. It made her feel less like a suspect and more like a person. Sofia shifted uncomfortably at my comment and shot me an odd look.

“I’m starting to wish you didn’t know my whole ass backstory.”

I couldn’t do much about that so offered a compromise.

“I could tell you my life story. It wouldn’t be as interesting though.

Sofia just shook her head and looked out the window.

“Nah, I’d rather not get to know you anymore.”

We left the topic at that and moved on. The trip wasn’t far and would only take a few minutes aside from a few red lights along the way. I approached one near University Street when I noticed a new piece of the urban landscape. Along a street corner sat a gathering of flowers around multiple pictures of young men. It took me a moment to remember the article I read this morning. Three of the Mountaineer’s men’s soccer team were found dead this morning at a frat house. It was a gruesome site yet I hadn’t been able to find any pictures of it this morning. I already knew the culprit so didn’t bother to ask her if she did it. I had another question that came to mind. I pointed towards the memorial and asked her.

“Do you ever feel guilty seeing stuff like this? People mourning those you killed?”

That caught her attention and she sat up to see the memorial and scoffed at it. I saw an expression of cockiness in her smile before it drifted away to an expression of contemplation. She took a moment before responding.

“Not really, if someone’s being performative about it I usually get mad instead. Like, why do you care so much? Those three were looking to score and all too happy to be guided into a dark room.”

I was surprised at her honest answer. She genuinely considered and gave me a thoughtful answer. I was afraid she would be defensive at my targeted question. I decided to push a little more and see.

“You can’t feel sympathy for friends and family members?”

She shook her head in response.

“Nah I can. I just don’t care.”

She reached for the phone and skipped a song by The Neighbourhood for another by Three Days Grace. The light turned green and I drove past the small memorial as I saw more people approach and give their respects and grief.