The Hundred Reigns [Timeloop LitRPG]

Stood the Rancher-Shepherd upon the ground, feeding the faithful with one hand and smiting the wicked with the other. He looked upon the cradle and said, ‘I wish to hear the bleats of a future being born!’

And so the Mother-Sister took me out of the cradle, and the Rancher-Shepherd saw that I was good and wholly formed.

The Rancher-Shepherd said, ‘You are the child of my will.’

‘I have given you a spine, so that no man may look down upon you.’

‘Follow me, and thy flock shall inherit the land.’

• Scriptures of the Rancher-Shepherd.

He watched his pets through a glass window in the control room as they gathered to listen to a sermon in their laboratory home. Simon saw much success merging demonic spirits with cows and goats after mutagenic exposure. The former had resulted in mighty demonic minotaurs with burning skulls for faces and the strength of a full battalion, whereas the latter transformed into humanoid winged goats with a mighty aptitude for magic. These demotaurs and mephisgoats were also empowered by Devil Brands enforcing their servile loyalty to their master.

“The Rancher-Shepherd gave us the gift of two legs so that no man may look down upon his flock!” the mephisgoat priest sang his praise to the gathered assembly. “Raise your horns with pride! Our herd thirsts for the blood of its people! For what the Rancher-Shepherd gives with one hand, we must return in flesh to the other!”

A chorus of moos and bleats answered the sermon, much to Simon’s delight. Why couldn’t his demonic servants be as devoted, loyal, and dutiful? It might be better if he bound them all to superior animal hosts…

“Very interesting,” Lauriane noted as she wrote down notes next to Simon. “Most subjects tend to fight each other when forced to share quarters, but this batch has quickly self-organized. Have they retained their herd mentality?”

“It’s faith, Lauriane,” Simon replied. “Faith creates kinship. A strong shepherd makes for a peaceful flock.”

“Yes… I’ve focused too much on bodily modifications and disregarded the mind. Extensive conditioning prior and following procedures would improve the final result.” Lauriane’s voice brimmed with enthusiasm. “You’ve given me so much to think about.”

“I’m glad we share a passion for creating beautiful beasts,” Simon said. He hadn’t spent such quality time with his sister since he was a child. “Once Maublanc and the others bring us more samples, we’ll be able to create truly wonderful beasts.”

“I look forward to dissecting a true dragon. The mere thought of examining a dracolith up close…” Lauriane blushed a bit. “I’m sorry, Simon. I tend to get carried away when doing research.”

“You have nothing to apologize for, Lauriane. I’m glad I can discuss these things with someone.” Besides Duchar Honorius, of course. It also helped that creating new breeds of creatures gave Simon some experience. “We could visit Scaland someday. They must have dracoliths there.”

“They do, but they are stored in a heavily defended sacred site. We had to agree to leave it alone as part of our tributary treaty.” Lauriane turned around as she heard the control room doors slide open and a familiar figure stepping inside. “Back already, Louis?”

“Are you happy playing with your pets?” Louis sounded more amused than anything as he handed Simon two scrolls. “I didn’t want to interrupt your quality time, but I’ve received a report from Telluria, alongside a certain declaration you will find most interesting.”

Simon frowned as he unrolled the scrolls. The first was a report of their activities in Telluria, where Dassein, Euphemia, and Maublanc’s troops had engaged and repelled Vouivre after a short engagement. The intel Simon provided them from previous reigns was used to target every point of interest.

However, while Casval had been successfully captured and detained in Beleth, Vouivre had escaped with her life. Euphemia’s group would give chase all the way back to the old kish capital to hunt her down.

This bothered Simon, who had wished for and expected a decisive victory. Then again, Vouivre hadn’t yet unlocked the Beast Class at this point in time, so she might be more cautious than usual without the Noble Crestone’s power to inflate her pride. Had he miscalculated by sending Euphemia after her so early?

However, it was the second scroll that bothered Simon the most. Merely reading it caused his blood to boil. “Is this genuine?”

“It is,” Louis confirmed. “Shabram received it from the very hands of several foreign ambassadors.”

“What is it?” Lauriane asked.

“A joint declaration by the League of Valne, the Holy Kingdom of Lore, the Musan Republic and the Illusean Theocracy officially asking us not to invade the free Telluria region, under, and I quote…” Simon seethed with annoyance. “The pain of swift and immediate retaliation.”

“The ambassadors were vague about what those would entail, but we can likely expect more than economic sanctions.” Louis put a hand on his waist. “It is a threat of war, brother, and a thinly-veiled one at that.”

A new one too. Simon had never received such a message back when he married Euphemia. Events had already begun to diverge.

In fact, he didn’t remember Illusea offering military assistance to other nations outside of reigns where Endymion directly invaded Lore and Valne. He guessed the elves were very wary of offering explicit security guarantees because it meant they would have to send their precious elves to die to not lose face. They had a much easier time sacrificing shorter-lived Tribes.

Simon could sense the Oracle’s hand at work. She feared the idea of Louis being in control of the empire almost as much as the Overlord, and the two of them had swiftly seized power over Endymion. This had to be a nightmare scenario for Illusea, and Simon spreading his Anathemic Secrecy around no doubt worsened her uncertainty.

“I’m not surprised to receive threats from Lore and Illusea, but Valne and Muse?” Simon rolled up the scroll. “Have they reneged on their neutrality?”

“Valne was always wary of our expansion, but its city-states were divided between rearmament and appeasement,” Lauraine said. “Illusea’s signature means they likely offered them security guarantees; something they’ve only done for Lore in the past. This likely emboldened Muse too.”

That, or Valravn and his allies pulled some strings. Chrom Cruak’s flying pyramid had been moving towards the island according to the latest reports.

“Our Party’s ascendancy and the Oracle’s promises of military assistance likely gave the pro-war factions more weight in their public debates,” Louis guessed. “I say we open with a preemptive strike. Seizing the Valnean ports will prevent them from massing forces for a Dragonsea crossing and ensure any fight will be waged on the western continent’s soil.”

Simon immediately shot it down. “No, I won’t make the first move. We’ll tell them we are merely hunting down the spawn of Gargauth, and that we have no intention to permanently occupy eastern Telluria. Everything will be fine so long as they stay out of our way. We’ll share our findings about the Zodiac Parade and the Oracle’s plans with them.”

“They will not believe us,” Lauriane pointed out. “Our words will be dismissed as lies and propaganda.”

“Then they will pay the price for their foolishness.” Simon was done playing nice, and he had learned the pitfalls of appeasement. “I will give diplomacy a chance, but our ambassadors will make it clear there won’t be a second.”

Louis’ face remained as blank as stone. “And if they do declare war?”

“Then we follow through your plan and bomb them to oblivion. Those who pick a fight with Endymion only court death.” Simon would ensure that, whether in this reign or a future one. “Anyone who gets in our way of surviving the Zodiac Parade will be terminated.”

“About that…” Lauriane cleared her throat. “I have been exploring avenues to find a… permanent solution to the elven problem. Elven biology has a few key weaknesses a special viral agent could exploit.”

Something about her clinical tone put Simon slightly on edge. “You suggest we target them with… what, a virus?”

“Their body and their souls, to ensure the dryads cannot use their mana against us.”

“I put a halt to that project years ago,” Louis said with a rare hint of condemnation. “Leaving a disease to fight our battles will not help us progress as a nation, nor as individuals. Not to mention that diseases have a dangerous tendency to mutate in unexpected ways and that they will starve our soldiers of levels.”

“Father thought this idea had potential,” Lauriane argued.

“Still, a virus… a virus would be somewhat extreme,” Simon said. “We’re in conflict with Illusea, not the entire elven race.”

“Half the worldwide elven population is in Illusea, and twenty percent or more live in Lore. Two-thirds of the elven Tribe are aligned against us, or at least passively supporting hostile governments’ economies and war efforts. I do not say we should immediately release this virus, only that it is a potential deterrent or weapon in our arsenal.”

It suddenly hit Simon why their father chose Lauriane to oversee dangerous research, and that the kindness she showed him so often didn’t extend to people outside their family. Any threat to House Magnos had to be ruthlessly destroyed in her mind, regardless of casualties.

Besides Simon’s own reservations and the fact that engineered plagues were extremely dangerous, as he had learned from the Church Party’s experiments on shifters, Louis put his foot down. “As much as I look down on elves, such a weapon devalues life as a whole. It will put the deserving and the unworthy alike to death without discrimination.”

“And who deserves to live according to you, Louis?” Simon inquired.

“Those who will survive our war to come, and this Zodiac Parade you speak of.” That cold glint of insanity once again shone in his brother’s eyes, veiled behind a mask of charisma and rationality. “The violence to come will be a fairer test of people’s fitness to survive. The conflict will cull the weak and solve our overpopulation issue. All the parasites hoarding our precious resources will be eradicated.”

He’s insane. Simon already knew that for a very long time, but the glimpse of Louis’ wish only put his madness into perspective. He truly believed a better and purer world would arise from the death of millions; that the violence he worshiped would be the crucible to reforge life into something new. Can he be talked out of this nonsense? Or will I have to put him down?

The question lingered on Simon’s mind as he felt the pull of a summon; one he could not ignore.

“I have to leave,” Simon warned them. “Anna is calling.”

Lauriane immediately tensed up. “Trouble?”

“I don’t think so.” At least not for you. “I shall see you at my coronation. Bring my creations with you.”

No reason his flock shouldn’t acclaim their Rancher-Shepherd’s ascension.

Simon answered the summon and manifested in a fiery circle. The Goetia Research Facility faded to be replaced by the walls of Anna’s bedchamber, and Simon immediately realized he had fallen into a trap.

He was surrounded.

“My, my…” Norbelle licked her lips to the tune of laughter. “He actually answered.”

Simon sighed in annoyance as he found himself in the middle of a circle of women. Anna was sitting on a divan alongside Tiella and her newest handmaiden, Elaine Malphas; Cassandra and Eole occupied another on his left; while Norbelle shared a third on his right with Isabelle Barbatos and Antonine de Shax of all people. Each of them carried either a wine glass or showed signs of inebriation. It had to be a drunken dare of some kind.

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It was Norbelle’s tea party all over again, except somehow even worse!

“Eole, Norbelle?” Simon squinted at them as he removed his Overlord armor. “Shouldn’t you be in Telluria and Cocagne respectively?”

“I came for your coronation, and arranged for dear Eole’s early return,” Norbelle boasted with a mischievous look. “Mother couldn’t resist when I implored her to show me a living kish.”

“I was promised a private meeting with the greatest authorities in the land,” Eole complained. She had picked up the Endymian common tongue phenomenally quickly. “This wasn’t what I had in mind.”

“It wasn’t a lie,” Antonine replied. “We are the most powerful women in the empire.”

Queen Melusine and most of Simon’s High Council would disagree, and he himself had issues with this setup. “You shouldn’t have summoned me for something so trivial as showing off to your friends, Anna,” he chastised her. “Now too many people know you can call upon me.”

“I didn’t summon you.” Anna waved her glass at Norbelle. “She did, using a spell she invented on the fly.”

“What?” Simon blinked in genuine surprise. “But the miasma signature—”

“—was easily falsified,” Norbelle boasted. “You should thank me for exposing such a big flaw in your creation. I’ll help you design a better summoning spell that won’t allow your enemies to potentially ambush you.”

“It would have been good to know beforehand,” Elaine Malphas commented with daggers in her eyes.

Simon suppressed a grunt of annoyance. On one hand, Norbelle was right, she had exposed a potentially dangerous flaw in his summoning spell, and he was thankful for it; on the other hand, he couldn’t afford to show weakness to such an assembly.

“Why did you summon me?” Simon asked.

“Well, you’re a demon, so you’re now bound to answer our questions,” Anna said, smirking as she raised a small stick of wood. “I have even brought a wand.”

Simon suppressed a sigh of annoyance as he realized this was yet another variant of that drinking game she loved so much, but he decided to play along since he was already here. He put his Overlord armor back on and used his ‘Belias’ voice.

“You get one question each, mortals,” he said, pointing at Anna, “ask for more and I will steal your soul after you die.”

“What?!” Tiella gasped. “That’s not fair!”

“Norbelle is the one who summoned Your Majesty,” Isabelle Barbatos noted with a small giggle. She was knowledgeable enough about magic to tell it was a joke. “Shouldn’t she be the one to lose her soul if we ask for too much?”

“Her soul is already damned,” Simon quipped. “You play with the Overlord, you pay his toll.”

“Fine, whoever has the wand has the power then.” Anna sipped her wine and waved her stick of power. “And don’t blame me for Antonine. I didn’t invite her, but Norbelle insisted she come because it would be funnier.”

“Don’t be like that, Anna,” Antonine said with a smile that didn’t reach her eyes. “We might become sisters-in-law soon. We should try to get along.”

“Of course, we won’t tell Thalas you helped summon Simon into these bedchambers we share,” Norbelle said with a wicked grin. “Imagine the fit he would throw.”

“As this little party’s organizer, I shall be the first to wager my soul.” Anna waved her hand at Simon as if it held actual power. “What is the most embarrassing thing you’ve ever done?”

Simon squinted at her. “Anna…”

“Come on,” she insisted. “The wand’s power and the laws of magic compel you.”

To think he used to find these games vaguely amusing once upon a time… Simon tried to remember something that could work, but the candidates happened in past reigns and he couldn’t mention them. Only one horrible possibility came to mind.

“If you truly wish to know, I found a book where my father listed all of his conquests… and I read it before burning it.”

“No way!” Norbelle all but bolted out of her seat while the audience erupted into gasps. “Was Uncle Maublanc in it?”

“Norbelle!” Anna chastised her. “That is nonsense, and you’re breaking the rules!”

“Sorry, Anna Darling, I simply refuse to believe those two didn’t… experiment.”

Simon was thankful his helmet kept his face hidden, or else Norbelle might have seen him pale in horror and disgust. “You only get one question each.”

“True.” Anna handed the stick to Tiella. “Your turn.”

“Alright, uhm…” Tiella cleared her throat. “Are my brother and Lady Meredith…” She covered her mouth with her hand to hide her blush. “Are they secretly together?”

“No, but they will soon be,” Simon replied. It was one of the strange constants in the reigns that those two would always end up together. “And they’ll be happy.”

As long as they lived at least. Those two were very fragile.

“I’m glad, Your Majesty.” Tiella giggled as she handed the stick to the next in line. “Your turn, Eole.”

At least Eole was wise enough to make serious use of this rather than play around. “Your Majesty, I… I have heard from High Confessor Mastemo and Her Highness Euphemia that my kind… that shifters were created by a demon rather than evolving as a separate Tribe.” She gathered her breath. “Is this true? Have you heard anything about this as Overlord?”

Simon stared at her a moment before answering, “Do you truly want me to answer this in public, Eole? The truth may not be pleasant.”

“Yes,” Eole said with great bravery. “I do not believe in keeping shameful secrets.”

Simon pondered if he should spare Eole’s feelings, with Anna squinting slightly at him as he remained silent for a few seconds, before deciding to honor her wish.

“The first shifters were created by an archdemon called Tiamut the Two-Tailed Fish using her polymorphy magic,” Simon said, the crowd erupting in shocked whispers. He immediately spoke up again as Eole’s expression deflated. “However, your Tribe’s origins matter as much as those of my own Overlord Class. We decide what we make of ourselves, and what to make of our gifts. You shouldn’t be ashamed of your roots, so long as you live righteously.”

Eole bit her lip. “Do you truly think so, Your Majesty?”

“Yes, I do,” Simon replied sincerely. “Your actions are what determine your character, Eole. Never forget that.”

Eole nodded, his words providing a much-needed balm to her heart. Simon made a note to spend a bit more time with her to ensure she would deal with the truth of her heritage without the likes of Mastemo filling her head with nonsense.

“She used more than one question,” Antonine commented. “That’s cheating.”

“Oh, shut up, Antonine,” Anna said, which caused the likes of Tiella and Norbelle to laugh. Antonine coldly glared at them without saying a word. “Thank you, Eole. That was very courageous of you.”

“All I did was ask a question,” Eole replied as she handed the wand to Cassandra. “Thank you for answering me, Your Majesty.”

Cassandra studied Simon a moment before asking, “Your Majesty does not want to play this game, and yet you do. Why?”

She was incredibly sharp and insightful, as always. “Because Anna organized it, and I care about her.”

“Aww, such a kind gentleman,” Anna said with a laugh. Tiella couldn’t stop giggling at her side. “You might come to regret it when Norbelle’s turn comes.”

“Oh, he most certainly will,” Norbelle replied with that vicious smirk of hers. “I assure you of that.”

Simon was strongly tempted to put this game to an end, but Isabelle Barbatos was cut from the same cloth as Eole. “I would like to ask Your Majesty whether or not you intend for milord and me to marry, or if we must expect a delay.”

Simon frowned behind his helmet. “Why would there be a delay?”

“Your father did not wish to proceed with anything beyond a betrothal.”

Interesting. Simon wasn’t aware of that, but he had always wondered why a crown-prince like Louis remained unmarried in spite of having a fiancée. He guessed Balzam Magnos didn’t want his ambitious son to gather too much power. Betrothals could be broken with a snap of a finger, and thus prevent Duke Barbatos from marshalling his strength in his son-in-law’s service.

“I will not oppose the match,” Simon replied. He had nothing to gain by breaking it off. “You should discuss the date with Louis.”

Isabelle nodded sharply, a thin smile on her lips. “Thank you, Your Majesty.”

Simon had the feeling a burden had been lifted from her shoulders. Her father must have put some pressure on her to lobby the Overlord to quicken the wedding.

Norbelle then claimed the wand. “What would—”

“Next,” Simon cut in. “You wasted your question earlier.”

“What?!” Norbelle protested, waving her wand at him. “Bad demon, bad!”

“Sorry, Norbelle,” Anna said. “Those are the rules. I can’t do anything about it.”

“I want a refund!”

Simon remained unbending, and Antonine all but snatched the wand out of Norbelle’s hands. “Is Your Majesty attracted to the ladies present here?”

“Anna is here,” Simon replied, which pleased her immensely.

“I said ladies.” Antonine smiled and glanced at Eole. “Plural.”

Simon had enough experience with deceit not to glance immediately at Eole and betray himself, but he considered his response for a second before answering, “No.”

It was a lie, and many could tell. Anna’s smile faded away, and Eole shifted in her seat, looking at the floor.

“Good to know,” Antonine said, her smirk widening as she surrendered her wand to the mercifully final person present. “Elaine?”

Elaine Malphas stared at the stick with the same disdain Simon held for the game, then seized it. She looked at Simon, and he knew the moment he stared into her eyes that all of his entreaties towards her had fallen on deaf ears.

“From the moment you were born…” Elaine scowled, her expression colder than hell’s frozen heart. “Has there ever been a point where you've actually been a good person?”

The temperature in the room dropped, but Simon? Simon’s blood boiled in his veins.

“What are you implying?” he asked softly, giving her a merciful occasion to think wisely and correct herself.

She didn’t take it. Elaine Malphas locked eyes with him and spat on his mercy, her words more of an accusation than a question. “I asked if you have ever been a good person at any point in your life.”

Alright.

The truth, then.

“Do you know what my father would have done to you if he had been in my place, Elaine?” Simon leaned forward to better look down on the insolent wretch. “He would have enslaved and raped you. You and your aunts, and probably your father too, because humiliating his victims gave him joy.” Elaine scowled darkly and everyone else fell silent, but that didn’t stop him. “That’s the truth. He would have ridden you all like horses until you popped out a bastard or two. It would have taken a while considering your kind’s notoriously low fertility, but that didn’t stop him before.”

Anna tried to speak up. “Simon—”

“Silence, Anna,” Simon replied coldly, his friend wincing as if slapped. “Gargauth would have just eaten you and your family, before burning your entire island. And Mardok? Ask the person you were trying to save what he put her through. Whereas I?” He snorted. “I kept you alive. I spared you.”

His words struck at Elaine’s resolve, and she tried to look away. He didn’t let her. His hand grabbed her pretty jaw and forced her to stare into his burning eyes.

“Can you fathom all the things I could have done to you?” Simon asked. “I could have turned you to gold and sold you off for pocket change. I could have killed you and extracted your soul to put it into a toilet. I could have sacrificed you to a demon for power, or transformed you into a monster that lives only to sing my praises. Instead, I allowed you to keep your head and a measure of dignity, because I sympathize with you since I unjustly lost my mother too.”

Elaine had the grace to look down without a word, though Simon wasn’t sure if she did so out of shame or fear. He didn’t care either way.

“So yes, I’m a good person. The one good person who can save the world, because everyone else falls short.” Simon had seen the ruins they would leave behind with his own two eyes. “Your Oracle? She’s a coward who’s willing to let millions die so long as one elf lives. Your Paladin? He’s a good lad, who just happens to be powerless. The White Unicorn? They’ll be eaten alive by demons and crushed under rising waves when death comes at us from the stars.”

He didn’t care if the others heard, or if they agreed or not. All that mattered was that they would understand.

“And then there’s you, Elaine, you and your father. You would dare call yourself a good person after your daddy dearest spent years supporting Endymion?” Simon swelled with resentment. “You’ve never tried to approach me when Thalas bullied me, or used your father’s influence to help slaves escape their bondage. Instead you dirtied your hands and enjoyed the benefits of our oppression.”

“We were keeping our cover,” Elaine replied, her voice weak.

“And yet here I am, a new Overlord in an unbroken succession. Imagine if the Class had gone to one of my siblings. Do you think they would have been kind to you?”

“I wouldn’t have,” Simon heard Norbelle mutter behind him, which he ignored.

“Your family has changed nothing, Elaine. Nothing. You spent years making so many sacrifices, only to fail.” Now her hands were shaking. “I will succeed where you blundered and save the world… but if you refuse to see that and stand in my way, then you will die.” No ifs or buts. “Anyone who defies me is the enemy of the world’s salvation. Remember that, Elaine.”

She didn’t answer, because there was nothing to say. The room had fallen silent. Anna, Cassandra, Isabelle, and the rest were quiet. Eole had gone pale, her skin white like chalk, and Tiella had shrunk in an attempt not to be noticed. Even Norbelle seemed at a loss for words.

“Out, all of you,” Simon ordered. “Except Anna.”

Norbelle frowned. “Even me, Si–”

“Are you talking back to me, Norbelle?”

His sister winced, and he caught a slight hint of prideful defiance in her gaze, but it died the moment she saw the flames in his. It finally hit her that he was no longer the powerless sibling Thalas had bullied for their entire childhood, and that she should tread warily around him.

Norbelle looked down with all three of her eyes. “No.”

“Then don’t make me repeat myself.”

They got the memo after that, and Simon quickly found himself alone with Anna. His betrothed crossed her arms, a dark scowl stretching on her face.

“What was the purpose of this exercise?” Simon inquired. “Some kind of test?”

“It was just a game, Simon.” She looked away. “A silly game.”

“A stupid one.”

“I’m sorry, I… I just wanted to have some fun with you and the others. I didn’t think it would end like this.” Anna bit her lip. “I’m sorry, Simon.”

“This will never happen again,” Simon warned her. Whether in this reign or the next.

“It won’t.” Anna faced him again, her expression grim. “You have changed. You’re the Overlord, now.”

“Yes, I am.” In all the ways that matter. “I have to be, for Brimir’s sake.”

“It’s not just that. I’ve seen the way you looked at Eole and Cassandra, and how you struggled not to do so when Antonine…” Anna shook her head. “I’ll bore you eventually. I can see it. I’m not a Noble Class user or someone you can plot to conquer the world with. I’m just a girl with a very powerful father.”

“For what it’s worth, I love you as a person, Anna.”

“But that nostalgia will fade fast, won’t it?”

Simon evaded the question. “I want us to work, Anna… but if we give it a try, then you’ll have to grow up, just as I did.”

“I’m not sure I want to grow up into you, Simon.”

“Then what do you want?”

“I… I don’t know,” she admitted. “I want a husband with whom I can fall in love and grow old with, and who won’t treat me like a housewife to pop kids bearing the Paimon name. Someone I can laugh with.”

“Simon the Bastard would have gladly given you that, had you married him all those years back.” Louis and his airships had robbed him of that future. “I’m Simon the Overlord now. Things have changed.”

“I know. We’ll never be equals anymore.” Anna looked away. “Then again, we never were. It was just a fantasy of mine.”

Simon pondered his next words very carefully. “I can make an empress out of you, Anna, not an ornament. You want to see the world? You’ll have an airship with your own crew. You want to raise a palace or a theater? I’ll snap my fingers and it’ll be done. You also have gifts. You’ve seen the way the Light Megalith answers your prayers.” Her head perked up. “Yes, I know about that, and it’s a sign of your potential. I could help you tap into it, help you become more than your father’s daughter.”

“What’s your point, Simon?”

“I can’t give you freedom, but I can offer you power.” His power. “I’ll give you the night to decide whether you’re willing to trade one for the other. Afterwards, I’ll need an answer.”

Simon teleported away, leaving Anna alone with her thoughts.