Leaving A Legacy

Double Chapter today! Chapter 2/2. Go back if you missed the previous one!

Ren barely heard Subo invite him to accompany him somewhere as he turned his attention inward. He normally couldn’t feel his karmic strands gathering merit from his various connections, but it was impossible to ignore that one brilliantly glowing construct within his dantian.

It was extraordinary. Even his Fire of Life was gleaming brighter than usual. Subo’s heartfelt words of owed debt had shifted something as Ren felt for the first time the sensation of unrefined merit being accumulated into his Fire of Life. It was a pleasant feeling as if he were sitting near a warm fire in winter. It also brought up mild feelings of pride and gratitude.

Normally he would only detect the purified merit he sent outward during breakthroughs. Knowing it was a precious opportunity, he blindly followed Subo as he tried his best to memorize every sensation. He let it wash over him until the construct slowly dimmed.

As he brought himself out of the fugue state, a thought occurred to Ren. Subo must be someone with a grand destiny. He couldn’t justify this thought with much evidence, but it mainly arose from the time he first unleashed Fated Fall. A grand destiny that he had somehow influenced. It had felt like tugging on a mountain.

If Ren was right, then the increased might of that attack had come from the difference created from bringing up that illustrious destiny a tiny bit forward to an earlier time. Through Subo’s words earlier, it wasn’t unreasonable to assume he was always destined to go to higher monasteries, with his existing merit and his master’s backing. Ren’s assistance in procuring an important, undamaged demonic core had simply granted Subo enough merit that he was going there sooner.

He didn’t quite know what to do with this idea. If Subo really was a Heaven’s Chosen, then having a connection with him was bound to bring tribulations to Ren. Naturally, surpassing those tribulations would also bring enormous rewards. Many followers of influential figures hoped for just such a chance. To be able to follow such personages to unbelievable heights, content to profit from their scraps.

Ultimately, it wasn’t really a choice, as Ren wasn’t one to discard those who treated him with sincerity. He wouldn’t leech off of his brother, nor would he distance himself out of fear. He knew that karma was not so easily subverted, especially since he had already formed such a strong connection. Now it was just a matter of striving to be worthy of standing as an equal beside him.

Unbeknownst to Subo, who was oblivious to his companion’s inner turmoil, this one conversation had blown away most of the dark clouds that had hovered around Ren of late. To be absolved of the guilt of potentially harming Subo, as well as his reinvigorated determination, together lifted an unseen weight from Ren’s shoulders.

When he finally noticed his surroundings, Ren and Subo were standing in a crowd facing a raised dais. A young monk and an older nun sat facing each other. Ren looked around to confirm if this was what he hoped it was. Ren noticed Bao Hua making his way laterally toward them. Oddly, he didn’t have to push through the crowd as they gave him a wide berth without a word.

“Brother Subo! Zhao Ren! You’re here as well! We’ll finally get to see a dao debate! I'm glad none of us missed this chance.”

Ren was starting to get caught up in the charged atmosphere around them. Everyone was whispering around them. From what he overheard, the young monk was an admired talent, whereas the older nun was someone who had earned much renown through her merits in demon slaying.

Though he was curious about how the dao debate would transpire, everyone was more interested in finding a seat in the hall and laying out mats to meditate on. Subo pulled Ren and Hua and guided them to do the same.

He said in a muffled voice, “Since this is your first time experiencing this, and you lack the compatible sutras that would let you make the most of this opportunity, my advice would be to just listen without focusing too much on the words. Just let the feelings invoked pass through you.”

Ren had a hundred questions, but before he could ask any, the two on the dais began. An incense stick was lit, and its powerful effect filled the room. Ren hadn’t even noticed who lit the incense stick or which of the two had provided it. He couldn’t spare any attention to the minor details as the debate began.

The two formally introduced the topic and their chosen stances. The monk would be arguing that anger should never be inflicted outwards and is best dissipated within one’s heart. The nun stated that anger held within one’s heart would turn to poison and form heart demons and that it was best to find the proper channels to vent them.

It was an interesting topic, and it was easy to see the merits and downsides to both. He didn’t know about the monk, but the nun’s past achievement clearly showed her conviction was rooted firmly in success. She must have found demons to be the perfect targets to vent anger on, which no one could argue against. Ren was getting increasingly interested in seeing how the discourse would play out.

To his immense surprise, they didn’t begin speaking their thoughts and instead began chanting! Their voices and cadences fluctuated with a careful affectation, and throughout it all, qi thrummed in their throats. Struggling to understand, Ren remembered Subo’s advice and forced himself to relax.

As he sat there, half meditating, images and sensations jumped unbidden into his mind. It took some time, but he started to pick up certain nuances. The sorrow of witnessing suffering inflicted by anger. The sublime peace found in the violence of movement. To enjoy such peace so as to never become disturbed. The fierce pride in protecting others with one's actions. The enlightenment from discovering the source of one's internal imbalance. To experience emotion fully before severing it.

As they took turns, Ren could feel himself first swayed one way and then another. He knew he was missing a lot of the details, but he could feel fluctuations in his mental state as time passed. Slowly he became more and more convinced by the nun’s stance as it resonated more with his own experiences and thoughts. The nun’s chant found the thoughts buried in his past and unearthed them gently. Yet the monk’s stance wasn’t without its merit.

It was a most exquisite experience, but Ren found himself abruptly brought out of the trance when a thick silence blanketed the hall. He blinked his eyes repeatedly in shock, but the lone incense stick had only just finished burning even though it felt like hours had passed!

The silence persisted for a few moments as the room collectively held its breath. It broke when the young monk stood and, with one hand held before his chest, bowed deeply, saying,

“It was my loss. Thank you for enlightening this foolish one, senior sister.”

The nun mirrored the bow and said, “Junior has hidden depths. I look forward to debating again in the future.”

They exited as everyone present bowed to show their gratitude. Ren and Hua had no compunction in displaying gratitude to members of another sect for this opportunity. It had truly broadened their horizons. Some stayed in meditation while the others began to disperse. Hua and Subo began discussing the experience with enthusiasm.

Ren, on the other hand, asked to be excused and began walking alone to immerse himself in the lingering remnants of the experience. The more he walked, the more he found himself recovering his previous good cheer.

It had occurred to him that he had held a good deal of anger about his own helplessness. The momentous events he found himself in always seemed to happen to him where he could do nothing about it. Like a leaf in a storm, buffeted about without a choice. Frustration and helplessness had festered, resulting in the gloom that enveloped him.

The dao debate had helped him discern the unidentified thoughts and shake himself free of the mire. Like the nun, he too believed in unburdening himself occasionally, only he hadn’t found the opportunity to do so recently. Impulsively, Ren came up with an idea.

He was going to repay the Golden Light Monastery for this unexpected blessing it had given him. He was ‘The Challenger’, the one who built tests to sift those worthy of his legacy. The one who guided and rewarded those who embodied the aspects he wanted to see more of in the world. But that wasn’t the only meaning of legacy.

Like both sides of the debate had their merits and truth was not fixed, Ren too wanted to explore a different aspect of the concept of legacy. A personal legacy. A monument to mark his own life’s journey. A legacy that simply said, “I Was Here.”

Without even realizing it, his feet had returned him to the wild garden he had just left from with Subo. Not wanting to think too deeply on consequences, Ren took a deep breath and began while his idea was still fresh in his mind.

There would be no complex formations with a strict purpose or goal in mind. His only desire was to create a space where others could find the same harmony he had found here. This garden had served as a haven, and that was exactly the sentiment Ren wanted to emphasize.

Ren had struggled mightily to earn a place on this trial. He had learned harsh truths, and his views on the world had been thoroughly challenged. He had faced fear, uncertainty, and all kinds of hurdles. A frog in a well who had finally crawled a short distance up only to learn how much wider the sky really was. To not even know how much further he would have to climb to see it all.

Despite it all, he had come this far, and that was worth celebrating. He had faced all those challenges and was still standing. Here, in this garden that reminded him of home. Ren threw out his array flags in a haphazard manner. It wasn’t clear if it was genius or insanity, but the arrays started to form. His attainments in arrays and formations were deeply ingrained and flowed to accommodate his half-formed ideas.

It wasn’t an epiphany, but Ren thought he wasn’t far off from that state. When he finally surfaced, he looked around at the chaotic, inspired, messy, and astounding array he had wrought.

AN: This double release is brought to you for no particular reason. Like with Ren, sometimes nice things just happen to you! Hope you enjoyed it!