Accidental Elf: My Passive Allure is Ruining My Plans

Berona stared at the elf from the side of the tree. She huffed, thoroughly amused by the mage’s foolish, evasive response.

"No, Al..." she said, walking toward him.

Although she still held her dagger drawn, she carried it loosely, showing zero hostility. Alaster watched her slow approach without taking his eyes off the fracture floating in the air.

That spatial wound was imposing; despite being barely three feet tall, it seemed to warp reality around it. The interior was a swirling blackness where a strange, purple liquid fluctuated.

The thief stopped beside the elf and gazed at the phenomenon.

"Really now..." She turned to look at the mage’s face, a smirk playing on her lips. "Do you honestly expect me to believe that?" She let out a scoff, but her tone quickly shifted to one of curiosity. "But... is it dangerous?"

The girl eyed the tear inquisitively. The mage, meanwhile, calculated his options.

«Are you kidding me?... And here I thought everything was going smoothly. I let my guard down. Lying is the absolute worst option right now. If I spin a fake story, even if she believes me today, she’ll eventually bring it up with the others. The rumor will spread, and I’ll end up as some noble's slave. I can't risk it.»

"No, it's safe," he replied.

To prove it, the elf extended his arm, plunged his hand right into the fracture, and swished it around inside. In that instant, an idea struck him; when he withdrew his hand, he was holding an apple.

Berona stared at him, her jaw dropping.

"What on earth is that, Al? And don't you dare tell me it's a magical latrine!" she exclaimed, her eyes darting back and forth between the fruit and the elf’s face.

"Well... it's magic."

Berona rolled her eyes and groaned.

"You don't say! The fact that you're a mage already gave me a tiny hint, you know? No, look, Al, I've studied a bit. I know it's some sort of tear in the fabric of space, but... I've never seen one in person. So I have no idea what it actually does."

If the elf had learned anything about women across his two lifetimes, it was that when they asked a question in that specific tone, they knew more than they were letting on. Lying outright was out of the question.

"It's a spell that allows me to store items inside this spatial rift," he explained with a smile.

Berona snatched the apple out of his hands and tossed it right back into the darkness. Then she looked at him.

"So, how do you get it out now?"

Alaster smiled. He accessed his mental interface, localized the item, and focused his intent. The apple emerged from the rift, and the elf caught it midair before it could hit the ground.

The thief blinked in surprise. "This magic is strange..." she murmured. The elf nodded silently. "What exactly is it? Do you produce it yourself, or do you have some kind of elven artifact?"

Alaster adopted a mysterious expression and spoke in a hushed voice:

"Do you really want to know?"

Berona nodded. "Just tell me, don't act like it's the biggest secret in the world."

"It's my spatial magic," Alaster revealed. "And yes, it's a secret. You know those secrets you tell your friends or family because you trust them? Well, this isn't one of those. This is the 'Adventurers' Guild top-secret' kind. So congratulations on finding out!"

Berona looked around, finally realizing the gravity of the situation, and slapped her hand over her face.

"Unbelievable... You sneaked away to hide it and I stumbled right into it."

Noticing the faint trace of fear in the thief's eyes, Alaster gave her a reassuring smile.

"Relax, it's fine. Just don't mention it to anyone."

"And now what?" she asked, still a bit on edge.

"Now, you're going to help me carry the lunch supplies back in secret."

Berona furrowed her brow, instantly regaining her usual attitude. "All this display of high magic just because you want a decent lunch?"

"Yeah, what's wrong with that? After all, it works as a storage unit. Alright, you carry the milk and biscuits, and I'll handle the meat and fruits."

Alaster began retrieving the provisions from the rift. First, he pulled out a crate packed with a variety of food, mostly pre-prepared dishes. Among them were biscuits, a thermos, plates, and a square wooden bowl with a lid where the meat rested. He handed everything to Berona, who watched him in utter disbelief.

The elf turned on his heel to head deeper into the bushes, but she stopped him by tugging on his clothes.

"Hey, clueless elf, that's the wrong way. The camp is back in the opposite direction."

Alaster turned his head. "I know... It's just that I actually have to pee now. I'll be right back."

Within a few minutes, Alaster and Berona were back at the camp. They spotted the rest of the team near their wagon.

Elise and Remis were busy setting up a circle of wooden crates to use as stools, while Tagard and Syrus watched the scene, completely failing to understand what they were trying to accomplish.

Syrus, leaning against the wooden frame of the cart, saw the elf arrive from the opposite side carrying the utensils.

"Hey, Syrus, do me a favor," Alaster requested. "Grab that crate and place it right here, in the middle of the seats."

The tank looked at what the elf was holding with a raised eyebrow. He bent down to lift the very crate he had been using as a stool a few moments prior, walked to the center of the circle, and set it on the ground.

Alaster immediately laid everything on top of it. The girls and Tagard crowded around, brimming with curiosity.

Remis sniffed the air, narrowing her eyes. "Is that..."

The aroma of grilled meat instantly demanded everyone’s attention. Alaster uncovered the main platter; the grilled steaks were steaming hot. Elise’s eyes went as wide as saucers, her gaze darting between the food and the elf.

"What! How? Where did you get this?"

Alaster smirked. "A mage never reveals his secrets," he chuckled.

The elf took a seat and watched as Remis and Tagard pulled several cards out of their pockets and pouches. Infusing a tiny drop of energy, they materialized a total of fifteen loaves of bread over the crate. They were large loaves, nearly the size of a dinner plate.

Alaster locked his eyes on Berona, who was already holding a kitchen knife; she sliced one of the loaves open, stuffed a steak inside, and took a massive bite.

Alaster stared at the spread. There were stewed and fried portions of poultry, pork, and beef. It was enough food to feed ten people, but given the terrifying speed at which the warriors were devouring the portions, it wouldn't last more than eight minutes.

He looked around; there was no more bread in sight.

«Crap, they're going to leave me with absolutely nothing at this rate, and I still have to brew the coffee.»

The elf stood up and walked over to the campfire. The water was boiling, signaling it was time. The pot hung by its handle over the fire, suspended from a branch on a rather flimsy wooden tripod.

Alaster carefully lifted the support structure and grabbed the hot pot with a cloth in his other hand. He had already set up the cloth strainer over the coffee pot with the ground coffee inside. He poured the water with precise care.

«This is pretty rustic,» the mage thought. «I kind of miss Earth's coffee makers, but the smoky flavor of wood-fired coffee gives it a unique touch.»

He waited for the liquid to filter completely before grabbing the pitcher along with the mugs and returning to the group. Everyone, including Remis—who was already thoroughly enjoying the aroma lingering in the air—settled into their seats.

Alaster, who had taken a quick moment to wash his hands beforehand, sat down and filled his own mug with the dark liquid.

"Anyone else prefer it black?" he asked.

Syrus raised his hand. Alaster passed him a mug along with a small wooden container. The blonde man looked at it curiously, his eyes silently asking what was inside. When he popped it open, he smiled.

"Sugar."

"Sugar?" Remis repeated, straining her neck to peek inside the container. "This is starting to look like a proper picnic," she commented, smiling and shaking her head.

The elf ignored her in good humor and began shaking a wooden container filled with milk. Elise, sitting beside him, asked with her mouth full:

"And what's that? Liquid gold?"

The young girl reached out, took another loaf of bread she had just materialized from a card, and sliced it down the middle. Using a carving fork from the makeshift table, she speared chunks of boneless chicken and pork, barely managing to stuff them inside the bread.

Alaster realized he needed to hurry up or he wouldn't get to taste a single bite, forcing him to settle for the block of butter Syrus had offered earlier.

He uncapped the milk container and showed it to Elise. The girl gave him a tight-lipped smile, careful not to show the contents of her mouth while chewing.

The elf poured the sugar into the main pitcher and then added the milk.

«So my barista course was useless knowledge, huh, Gary from accounting? Take that! I win,» he thought with smug satisfaction.

He dipped a wooden spoon inside and stirred the liquid gently, just enough to preserve the consistency of the foam. He poured the mugs and dusted a bit of Palp—a sweet-smelling, brown powder similar to cinnamon in this world—over the top.

He handed the mugs to the girls and Tagard, who watched the entire process with a broad smile.

Elise was the first to take a sip, as if drinking tea. After tasting the liquid, her eyebrows shot up, and her eyes seemed to spark with sheer enthusiasm.

"This is incredibly delicious! Remis, you have to try this!"

The leader took her mug with both hands and took a timid sip. "Oh, wow... it really is delicious," she exclaimed, entirely convinced.

"It has so much foam!" Elise added, sporting a prominent white mustache over her upper lip.

Everyone erupted into laughter. Alaster leaned over slightly and tapped the archer on her shoulder.

"Hey, don't suppose you have a spare loaf of bread left for me?"

The girl, who was happily chewing with puffed-up cheeks while rocking in her seat, swallowed with a bit of effort. She extended her empty hand, palm up, and right before the elf's eyes, three cards materialized over her skin.

She held them out to him with a stuffed-cheek smile—a comical image that instantly reminded the mage of a squirrel hoarding provisions.

"Thanks," the elf murmured before channeling a spark of mana into one of the cards.

Pop.

The bread appeared in the air, and Alaster caught it. He grabbed a nearby knife and mimicked Elise’s action, stuffing the loaf with meat and taking a hearty bite. He really was starving.

The elf shifted his gaze toward Berona, who sat across from him, subtly watching him out of the corner of her eye. Alaster picked up the fork, speared a steak, tucked it into a large piece of bread, and extended it across the crate.

"Eat up, Berona, don't be shy."

«Eat and shut up,» the mage told himself internally. «Don't go handing me over directly to the clutches of some corrupt noble, girl.»

The thief smiled and accepted the food without hesitation.

Within a matter of minutes, everything on the makeshift table was thoroughly devoured. Elise declared she had developed a food baby, proudly showing off her stomach to the other girls. Remis let out a satisfied sigh, leaning back in her seat.

"Alright," the leader announced. "After that feast courtesy of our companion Alaster, and while we let our food settle a bit before hitting the road... let's take a look at the loot!"

Everyone flashed expectant smiles. Elise looked far more thrilled than the rest.

"This time I'm going to have thousands of arrows!" she exclaimed, hopping slightly in place, but she froze instantly, groaning at her digestion. "Ow, I shouldn't have moved..." she muttered, covering her mouth with her hands.

Syrus, sitting beside her, shook his head. "Kid, what have I always told you about bouncing around like that right after eating?"

The girl smiled sheepishly. "Don't treat me like you're my dad... I'm not Kiri."

"Let's just check the Pantheon's gifts," Syrus suggested with a smile.

Alaster watched as each of his companions began to materialize a deck of cards in their hands, placing them on the wooden crate where the food had rested. In total, five neatly ordered little piles were formed.

Tagard, who had remained quiet during lunch, commented, "I've never gotten more than four cards from a raid before, and now I have twelve. And it's not just the standard goblin bread, either." The warrior couldn't suppress a grin.

"Twelve?" Elise scoffed. "Ha! That's nothing, I got twenty-three. It's a new record!" she cheered excitedly, though she quickly puckered her lips into a small pout. "My previous record was three... and all three were bread."

"That's because your luck stat is barely sixteen," Remis reminded her. "You can't have high hopes of pulling anything top-tier with that number."

"Don't remind me," the cheerful archer grumbled, crossing her arms.

"And where are your gifts, Al?" Berona asked seriously from the other side of the table.

"Uh... it turns out I don't know how to view them or pull them out," the elf admitted. "I can't seem to visualize them on my status screen."

Remis burst into a hearty laugh. "But you're level fifteen..." the leader teased. "You should know how to check the Pantheon's gifts by now."

Alaster shrugged his shoulders. Elise gave his arm a light nudge to grab his attention.

"It's super easy, Al... You just have to focus your mind on viewing the 'Pantheon's gifts' instead of your usual status screen, and they'll appear before you. Then, to materialize them, you just need a clear intent to pull out whichever one you want from your list. Remember, you only have twenty-four hours to claim the gifts or they'll vanish."

Alaster gave himself a mental facepalm.

«I can't believe all this time I've been trying to search for drops in my common interface, when I should have been thinking specifically about the gifts of the gods.»

He let out a frustrated sigh but immediately concentrated to inspect his mystical inventory.

The list unfolded before his eyes. The vast majority consisted of standard drops, except for two particular listings that caught his attention: a [Rare: Ostrum Dagger] and a [Common: Reverse Bronze Dagger].

Alaster began pulling out the contents in the form of physical cards. In total, his deck amounted to thirty-two cards, though the bulk of it was common bread. Remis, Elise, Tagard, and Syrus stared at the massive stack of cards in sheer bewilderment.

Remis regained the firm, authoritative tone she had used at the start of the journey, stood up, and formally declared:

"You all know the party rules. If you pull an item from the gifts that corresponds to a companion's class and you don't need it for yourself, you hand it over. The same applies if it's for your own class but you already own an identical one. If the companion in question doesn't want it either, you can keep it or trade it. If something drops that doesn't match anyone's class on the team, it gets sold when we reach the city, and the coin is split evenly. These are the standard regulations for Fire Blade clan parties."

Alaster nodded and began sorting through his cards. He separated all the iron arrows and a decent amount of steel arrows, setting aside a small cluster of the latter. He handed the main bundle over to the archer.

"Here, these are your arrows."

Elise accepted them joyfully. The elf held onto the remaining small group and asked her:

"Do you mind if I keep these few steel ones?"

The girl looked at him curiously. "Of course I don't mind you keeping them, Al... but I am curious. Do you want them for some kind of magical experiment?"

"No," the elf replied softly. "They're for a friend. She's an archer too, and she saved my life a while back. I think having a few steel arrows from my very first gifts, on my first adventure without her, would be a nice gesture."

Elise flashed a deeply touched smile. "I'm sure she'll appreciate them immensely. We archers can never have too many high-quality projectiles... Tell me, Al... is your friend very pretty?"

Alaster reflected for a brief moment. Arya went far beyond simply being pretty; she was a drop-dead gorgeous elf. Though, of course, he hadn't had the chance to see many other women of his race in this world to have a solid baseline for comparison.

"She's a beautiful elf," the mage replied.

The young archer let out a high-pitched squeal of suppressed excitement from her throat, clasping her hands together.

"An elven god and a beautiful elf! The perfect match! It's exactly like something out of a fairy tale!" she gushed, completely starry-eyed.

Alaster raised an eyebrow, recalling the way the elven woman usually treated him: always adopting a mocking tone, messing with him at every single opportunity.

«Best not to shatter Elise’s illusions by telling her that this supposedly beautiful elf spends her days making fun of me for being a rookie, mocking the faces I make, and... well, basically everything else.» He simply smiled.

"Hey, Al... and does she have black hair just like yours?"

The elf wrapped a strand of his own dark hair around his fingers and examined it with a slight frown.

"Actually, this isn't my natural color."

Remis and Berona snapped their heads up instantly, halting their task of gathering the ammunition cards the moment they overheard the statement.

"What?" both exclaimed in unison.

Tagard joined the chorus of surprise, knitting his brow with deep suspicion.

"Yeah, it might not look like it," Alaster continued in a casual tone, "but it turns out I'm an elven fugitive from justice," he cracked as a joke.

Syrus, who was finishing pouring the last trace of coffee with milk left in the pitcher, commented with amusement:

"Yeah, it's clear you're the absolute worst influence around."

Remis laughed, nodding her head, while Berona added amidst chuckles:

"A creature of the dark."

The thief rose from her seat and walked around the wooden crate to approach the mage.

"Here," she said simply, handing him a card from her own deck. "I'm certain I was granted this the exact moment you eliminated the goblin chieftain."

Alaster took the card, his eyes widening as he read the description via his mental interface: an unattributed grimoire titled [Summoning: Armored Sil-Spider].

«What in the world?» he thought, utterly stunned by the discovery of a spellbook.

Before Berona could slide back to her spot, Alaster caught her by the sleeve. He selected several cards from his own pile and handed them over.

"Wait. These are daggers... and I think this one in particular is going to interest you," he added, pointing to the higher-rarity card.

Berona locked her eyes onto the rare card. Her eyes bulged to an absurd degree, followed closely by her mouth, and she immediately began screaming and hopping around the clearing in pure euphoria.

"It's rare! It's a rare-tier dagger! I have to be dreaming!"

She ran over to Remis and delivered a harsh pinch to the leader's arm.

"Ow! That hurt!" the leader complained.

"It doesn't hurt me, so I'm definitely dreaming!" Berona hollered, completely beside herself.

Alaster watched the thief's wild celebration with a mix of amusement and bewilderment. «Talk about dramatic... I assume it must be a good item, but I didn't think it was that big of a deal.»

The elf turned to look at the other men; Syrus was standing there with his mouth wide open, while Tagard shook his head in sheer envy.

"No way... What insane luck you have, Berona! Man, I wish it had been a two-handed weapon for me!" the redhead grumbled.

Remis approached the thief, who was breathing erratically while clutching the card with both hands.

"Come on, claim it already! We have to see it in the flesh!"

The leader pressed close to her teammate, watching intently as Berona imbued a spark of mana into the mystical paper. In an instant, a dark-toned dagger materialized, suspended in the air.

It featured a serrated edge along the spine and a slightly forward-curved tip; the blade was forged from a black metal that exhibited Damascus patterns resembling interlacing raindrops.

Both warriors scanned the weapon's specifications and exclaimed at the exact same time:

"Oh, by the gods!" Berona gasped. "It ignores twenty percent of the enemy's physical defense!"

"And it has a seventy percent chance to cause continuous bleeding," Remis added, her voice trembling slightly.

"Plus an extra one hundred and forty percent backstab damage!" the thief concluded, nearly dropping the weapon from sheer shock.

Berona was instantly swarmed by the rest of her teammates, who admired the item. Alaster observed the entire display with a raised eyebrow.

«Let's see... reviewing what Feralt explained to me back then, the item quality scale goes from common, enhanced, excellent, and I think only after that comes the rare category. I don't entirely get why they're losing their minds to this degree.»