World’s Cutest Alchemist

Hailey sat at her computer mindlessly browsing through videos and posts. She was waiting for the time to reach 12:00.

Truthfully, she had stayed up all night. At first, she expected the potions to releases at midnight, then, when those didn’t come out, Hailey figured Raccoon was doing Raccoon things and was going to surprise drop them any minute.

It was only around 8:00, when Raccoon actually posted on Tawer the details. Hailey felt both relief and annoyance at that. Relief because she wouldn’t have to constantly be on alert and ready to buy a potion or two at any minute. And annoyance because…Couldn’t that have been posted yesterday? Or at any time other than four hours before release?

But alas, that should have been expected.

By now, Hailey had been up for over 24 hours, but, she wasn’t tired one bit; She could go days without sleeping, eating, or drinking. Though, she still liked to keep a normal sleep schedule.

While watching a video, her eyes kept drifting to the bottom right of the screen. Despite knowing she was still thirty minutes away from the drop, she couldn’t help but constantly check the time.

Was she impatient? A little. Part of her wanted to message her Raccoon to trade her a few potions early. But, they still hadn’t contacted each other directly yet. Put bluntly, they were strangers.

And it wasn’t in Hailey’s nature to message first. How could a proud dragonkin like her reach out to someone?

So, unfortunately, all she could do was wait and kill time as the time slowly approached 12:00.

11:59.

Hailey turned off the computer and set a timer on her phone for one minute.

She watched the timer tick down like a hawk. There was no way she wasn’t purchasing a potion.

Taking a deep breath, she even coursed mana throughout her body, heightening her senses to the maximum.

And finally,

[Raccoon has listed 5,102 Bouncy Bouncy Potions]

As the potions appeared on the exchange, she immediately clicked one to purchase.

[This item has already been purchased.]

“NO!” She shouted and quickly found another bouncy potion to buy.

[This item has already been purchased.]

“No, no, no.” She said om a panic before clicking on another listing.

[Purchase Successful.]

“Phew…” Hailey let out a deep breath of relief as the bouncy potion appeared on the table in front of her.

She didn’t panic whatsoever. At least, that’s what she’ll tell herself.

Feeling a little greedy, she tried to purchase more.

[This item has already been purchased.]

[This item has already been purchased.]

[This item has already been purchased.]

But, every listing she clicked on was purchased right before her eyes and stolen from her.

Sighing, she clicked on one last listing and tried to purchase it.

[Purchase Successful.]

Her eyes widened as, to her surprise, she had managed to buy another one. The bottle appeared on the table next to the previous one she got.

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With that, she was satisfied. She didn’t try to buy another one, instead, her attention turned to the two potions she had bought.

The bottle on the left had the same design that was in Raccoon’s last teaser video. It was of the cute raccoon drinking a potion. She picked it up and inspected it a little more closely.

On the inside was a bluish-green liquid, but, her focus was on the glass itself. Even she could tell that the quality was good—at least, it was definitely better than the previous bottles she used.

She took a quick glance at the other bottle and as she was turning her head away she immediately snapped back to the bottle still on the table.

“Wait…It’s different?” She placed the bottle in her hand on the table and picked up the other one.

This one had a design of a raccoon and a mouse sitting side by side at a campfire. Though she liked the other design, this one appealed to her way more. It was just so cute!

“Do they all come in different bottles like collectibles?” Hailey wondered.

She couldn’t help herself and tried to purchase another one.

[This item has already been purchased.]

“…”

She tried another twenty times, failing to purchase any more. Finally, she sighed and accepted that she likely wasn’t going to be able to buy another one.

“Now…Let’s see the description.” She mumbled.

[Bouncy Bouncy Potion]

Grade - D+

Creator: Raccoon

A physics-altering potion created by a ‘(genius!!!!)’ alchemist. This potion changes the properties of anything it absorbs itself into temporarily, making anything ‘Bouncy~ Bouncy~’

However, when applied to something with stronger properties than the potion, the potion will not take effect.

* Not meant for consumption!

* I’m not responsible for any mishaps!!!

* Lasts up to 5 minutes depending on amount of potion used!

‘Bouncy~ Bouncy~ Bounce~’

She read it over a few times before chuckling. It was exactly as she’d expect from Raccoon.

“Bouncy, bouncy, bounce.” She read, imagining how Raccoon sounded saying that.

She also noted that it wasn’t meant to drink. Now, she didn’t think it would poison her or anything, but, she was curious. And it was funny how Raccoon tried to save herself from any legal issues with that ‘I’m not responsible for any mishaps’ part.

With all the details checked out, all that’s left was to test the potion out.

And, just like everyone else, the first and main thing she was interested in was what happens to a bouncy ball.

Hailey grabbed the small bouncy ball she had purchased yesterday and bounced it a few times. Finally, she uncapped the bottle—the one with just the raccoon design—and smelled it. Oddly enough, though it wasn’t meant for consumption, it smelt appetizing.

She quickly shook her head to get rid of the impulsive thoughts and poured a little of the potion onto the bouncy ball. It awed her to see the liquid getting absorbed into the ball. After she poured about a fourth of the potion onto it, she placed the bottle down and took a deep breath.

Finally, after months of waiting. After getting trolled so much by Raccoon, she could finally see what happens to the bouncy ball.

She was excited.

Part of her wondered if it the whole thing was some sort of anti-joke, and nothing actually happens to the ball. If that was to case, she could only say: “Well played, Raccoon.”

But…If it’s not an anti-joke…

Sucking in a deep breath, she threw the bouncy ball on the ground…

Chaos erupted immediately. As the ball hit the ground, it sprung up at a rapid speed to hit the ceiling. Unfortunately, Hailey had thrown the ball at an angle, and the ball had gone out of control.

Her eyes widened with shock as she froze in place.

The ball smacked against nearly everything in the room: Her desk, computer, bottles, lamp, fan, dresser, books…All within a few seconds.

Hailey snapped back to reality as a desk lamp fell from the bedside drawer and onto the floor, shattering.

She imbued her eyes with mana so she could more easily keep track of the ball and when its trajectory headed straight for her, she moved her hand to catch and stop the ball.

She failed. Before she could close her hands, the ball had bounced straight off her palm and gave it a whole new force of momentum. The ball struck her window, mirror, and nearly everything else in her room.

“STOP!!!” The shouted as if the ball was going to listen to her.

Spoiler, it did not. Hailey tried again and again to catch the rampant bouncy ball, failing miserably each and every time.

And after a little over a minute had passed, as the bouncy ball struck the ceiling, it hit the ground but didn’t have the same chaotic power as it did before. It had reverted to being a regular bouncy ball. Finally, Hailey caught the ball.

As she held it, she took a look around at the destruction this tiny ball had caused.

A lamp had shattered on the ground, bottles were knocked over and all over the place, her books were scattered all over the floor. If there was one saving grace, it was that nothing else had broken other than the lamp.

“…” She stared at the destruction in silence.

After several moments of being in absolute disbelief and exhaustion, she finally opened her mouth.

“DAMN YOU RACCOON!” She screamed at the top of her lungs.

…

Ashley looked at the bouncy potion that had appeared in front of her. She had known there were multiple designs of the glass, and, Stella had given her the rarest one. The raccoon and mouse one.

Despite having worked for Stella for a couple weeks now, this was her first time seeing the potion in person. It would be a lie to say she wasn’t interested in it.

But, due to her professional integrity, she didn’t straight up ask for one. Knowing Stella, she likely wouldn’t care and would happily give her one, but, Ashley wasn’t one to take advantage of that.

So, she was quite happy that Stella had given her this gift.

However, on the other hand, she was slightly suspicious. Although Stella was a good boss, she tended to like to troll a little—No, a lot actually.

Now, she didn’t think that Stella gave her a messed up potion, not at all. Instead, she figured the issue came to what one did with the potion. And, there’s been one specific thing that Stella, or Raccoon, had mentioned quite a lot.

The bouncy ball.

She was curious what happens when you apply the potion to it—everyone was. However, with how much Stella has teased it and specifically brings notice to it, Ashley could tell there was something there.

So, there was no way she was going to test it immediately.

Instead, Ashley headed to an empty room in her house. It was literally a room with nothing in it. She was still planning out what to put in here, but for now, it was a perfect space to test the potion.

She placed the bottle on the ground before grabbing a bouncy ball from her room. This was something she had pre-emptively bought a few days ago because she planned on buying a bouncy potion herself.

Luckily, it seems like she didn’t have to. Well, later when they actually release, she’ll still probably buy some.

After returning the the empty room, she uncapped the bottle and poured half of it onto the ball.

“Impressive…” She mumbled.

For a simple test, she planned on just lightly tossing the ball in front of her.

In her mind, there were two scenarios. One, it doesn’t change much about the ball. Or two, it just makes it more bouncy. Either one, she was prepared for.

“Three…Two…One.” And as her countdown hit one, Ashley tossed the ball.

As it struck the ground, it seemed to start to build up momentum as it got faster and slammed against the ceiling.

In just a few seconds, the ball went from zero to one hundred.

As the ball chaotically bounced around the room, Ashley slowly turned around, opened the door and walked out before shutting the door. She could still hear the muffled thumps of the bouncy ball bouncing off the walls and ceiling.

“…I guess I should have expected nothing less from my boss.” Ashley quietly said, a small smile appearing on her lips.

Thankfully, she hadn’t tested it in her room else everything would’ve become a mess. But, while she was lucky, that didn’t mean the others would be. She suddenly felt a little concerned for the 5,000 others who would purchase and test the potion on a bouncy ball.