Seraphim Online: Afterlife

As I gaze into the crimson glow of the potion ahead of me, my eyes fixated on the gloopy redness contained within the bottle, only one thought comes to mind. Why must Lena continue to prod me while I’m down?

“Just let it go, Sera. I’ll slurp it down in a minute!”

“You bloody will not! That potion cost an arm and a leg to make. You’ll have to at least lose a wing before we’re using that.”

“Hehe, if it matters that much, why not just sell it back?”

“*Grumble*… was contemplating that. The problem is, would anyone buy a potion this terrible?”

You see, this suspiciously placed potion is the one I created days ago with my own two hands, or idle crafting system. Long story short, it’s really trash. Low intelligence affects the quality more than I’d like it to. Meaning, this only heals ten percent of my total health.

‘Guide, would the quality improve if I brewed future pots in person?’

[Unfortunately not, Sera. The fundamentals of this world are built around numbers, quality will remain the same. You would be able to make more than one potion at once though, potentially increasing intelligence faster if enough water is obtained.]

‘Eh, I’ll stick with reading for now. Inflation and water, a combination billionaires would love the sound of.’

Alchemical shenanigans aside and picking back up my health pot, our break is now over so we should get a move on.

As for where we are, we’ve been spanning these endless woods for several days, yet to find a single sign of intelligent life or a dungeon. Well… most humans lack basic intelligence anyways; you know what I mean.

“We’re definitely in the right area, southeast of Riverdale and in between the two-”

As I'm looking down at the map, Lena places a finger up to my lips. I want to nibble it but swiftly change my intent when I notice her staring deeply towards something. Also, her fingers stink of rabbit and I'm sick of the little buggers now.

Following her lead, both of us gradually creep up to something glowing and gleaming against the midday sun. In but a moment, Lena completely throws her seriousness aside and rushes towards the beast…

“He’s so freaking cute! Hello slimy!”

“*Blob*.”

“Look Sera, he’s smiling at me!”

A single slime sits over the corpse of a rotting fox. Lena being the absolutely madlad she is, goes up and literally pets the acidic monster!

Without giving it a lick of thought, my sword arm moves by itself as my iron blade swipes at the monster. All that’s left is a gloopy muddle and a dragon who now looks disheartened. Do I regret killing that little bastard? Maybe.

[Level 8 has just been achieved, Sera. Usual choice applies.]

‘Huh, didn’t realize how much game we’ve killed recently. Another ten to health, Guide. Let’s also spend that perk point now.’

‘Hmm… out of curiosity, Guide, how many abilities am I able to purchase? In total I mean.’

I’m already seeing a slight problem with the ability page. Purposely ignoring the long gaps of not being able to get anything new, levelling up won’t be enough to buy every single ability. I’ve got to be picky, especially in the earlier stages. I’ve only got ninety-nine purchases in total if I’m ever able to reach max level.

[136, Sera. Not all are available for purchase in status increments of 10, so being cautious spending points isn’t a bad idea.]

‘Fair enough. Sneaking could be useful so let’s get that.’

[Ability Land Down Under has now been purchased, Sera.]

Anyways, back to Lena whose depression has now turned to pouting, both of us seem to be on the same track despite spending a minute or so in my system. Apparently my eyes glow slightly blue, looking almost purple when I’m inside my system so Lena knows when I’m busy.

“Hmph… Sera doesn’t like fun things. By the way, are you thinking what I’m thinking?”

“Heh, that I am, Lena. We might have a nest over there.”

Nestled behind a wide tree growing under but also curving up and around it, a small cave lies in wait, hidden beneath the thick shrubbery. The gap looks just wide enough for a single person to creep into.

‘Thought I was supposed to be the reckless one out of us two?’

Lena takes the lead again, basically barging through the overgrowth and quickly stopping when something catches her attention.

“Sera, the scent of magic is really strong here. I think this is the place… be careful!”

Heading past the overgrowth to follow her, albeit in a more conservative way, I quickly come across what Lena is talking about.

‘Let’s all wander into the ominous doorway, shall we? At least we’re on the right track.’

Again, Lena acting fearless enters the approaching darkness and leads the both of us inside a tunnel, with the only light glowing right at the end of the passage.

The hallway is sticky, damp, long and narrow. I think everything is covered in a thick layer of slime or gloop, like this passageway is covered in a thick layer of lubricant... I’m being serious.

Once we approach the end, it rapidly becomes clear to us what is causing the glowing.

“Hehe, this one is even cuter! I don’t think it’s alive though… do we have to walk through it?”

“Heh, sounds like a masterplan. Let’s just walk into a wall of slime, that’ll end perfectly.”

I’m not trying to sound like a dick, it’s just that I know firsthand how much that acid burns. There’s clearly something amiss with that doorway… we’ll either end up getting burnt or covered in lewd slime knowing my luck.

“Okay dokey, sarky-Sera. You have a better plan?”

“That I don’t. Could try testing with an arm or hand first.”

Before I even have the chance of rolling up my sleeve, Lena decides mission protect Sera is now in action and puts her arm straight into the goop!

‘Sigh… guess I’ll need to use that potion now. Or not…’

“Ouch ouch, ouchhh! My arm feels like it falling off! You’re not even looking, Sera!”

…

I immediately eyeroll and come close to facepalming at my cheeky but slightly dense partner. You’d think a few hundred years would teach someone how to act, she really isn’t fit for the stage. She has far more to learn on the art of sarcasm if she’s to keep up with me.

“Let’s just go on in, numpty. Back me up and get ready, we could be walking to our deaths…”

__________

…

Bzzz, bzzz, Bzzz!

‘Urggg… is that an alarm? Or… a pager? Oh, hell no! This is trippy.’

A small yet odd looking device buzzes on the grass between the both of us, my mind completely clouded and lost due to awaking. As soon as we entered the slime covered doorway, lack of consciousness met us on the other side so now we’re here.

As I pull myself up from the spiky grass, the first thing I see is the hem of a long dress, heels attached to my ankles. Yet, this odd and almost vintage looking outfit is the least of my concern. Have I gone colourblind?

“*Yawnnn*… morning Sera… hey! Who turned out the lights?”

‘What did she just say? Huh… I see no Time Lord or astronaut named Dave about.’

Obnoxious sci-fi shows aside, started off alright but turned terrible, my anxiety levels lower when she appears to be in the exact same situation as I. Clearly there’s something amiss inside this place, just look at the retro outfits we have on!

“Sera… just what the frick is this place!? Huh!? Frick? Flip? Fudge? Who the hell says that!? Let me say swear, gosh darn it!”

“Heh, try spelling it out and see if that works?”

“F, U, C, K… frick! This freaking place won’t let me swear!”

Chuckling at Lena misery, it’s clear this dungeon has a family friendly theme. Make a nice change from all the racism and slavery in this world, even if cursing is a basic human right.

“Why do you seem so calm, Sera? Isn’t this place creepy?”

“I’m not calm, Lena... I’m thinking. This seems far too peaceful, no?”

Still a bit grumpy, Lena turns her frustration to me in the way of curiosity. Everything about this house, the street, it’s screaming post war suburban high life. It’s completely foreign to Lena but for me, it’s like we’re in an old movie or painting. Not sure on the exact era, thinking it could be before the Cold War.

‘Hmm… is the lack of colour supposed to represent anything? Like there’s a deeper meaning behind this place? It’s either that or we’re just ripping off Tranquillity Lane.’

‘Guide, you have any thoughts or ideas on this place?’

[Just the one, Sera. This guide suggests you and Lenore start looking around for other people and hope that leads somewhere.]

Right as my guide gives me that tip, a fly on the wall so the speak wanders by and stops by to chat to us.

“Morning neighbours. Apologies for the inconvenience, but it happened again. Please start going to bed at a reasonable hour.”

“Sorry… what was that? Who are you again?”

“Yeah, what cha talking about, lady?”

Me and Lena both bluntly respond to the passer by, not like interested by us at all. Looking away with an expression as dead as a corpse, it’s clear to me she’s only doing this because she has to.

“Oh, so I guess that banging was your heads rather than the headboards, wasn’t it? *Sigh*… please be more considerate of others. No idea how you two have the stamina over the last few years.”

And just like that, the expressionless woman wanders down the street and out of mind. I think it’s safe to say, the both of us are Alice down the rabbit hole at this point.

“Okay… so what do we know? We’re apparently integrated inside this world, she’s our neighbour, and we like to make grind like bunnies till the early hours of the morning. Anything else, Lena?”

“Hehe, you could put it in a better way, Sera. But yeah… this place is really weird. Shall we go take a proper look around?”

“Sure, just keep an eye out for anything risky. We don’t even have our weapons…”

‘Let me guess, I bet the system isn’t working if I’ve been disarmed?’

There’s an odd feeling inside this place, a sensation of peace and harmony which seems to be colliding with my usual caution. I’m not sure what to make of it especially considering my sword is nowhere on my person.

[Sera is partially correct; your abilities are still available; the inventory however is under lockdown. This dungeon for some unknown reason has taken liberty of it for now. Also, Sera isn’t disarmed.]

‘I don’t think I have a dagger, Guide. I’ve got no straps or holster or to attach it to… wait.’

Feeling around a bit, or more specifically the skirt of this dress, my hand catches against a wooden handle, pressing against my belly. This seems like a perfect opportunity to shake my head.

‘I’m not sure what’s more concerning. The fact I’m wearing underwear or that’s tucked inside.’

“Are we leaving, Sera?”

“Yeah yeah, one second. There’s something metallic under my skirt that needs adjusting… heh. I know how that sounds…”

__________

‘This world is eerie; I can see why Lena’s on edge. Any second now… I’m expecting everything to go wrong.’

This world that lacks colour might as well be a ghost town, not a single soul to pass apart from our nosey neighbour from earlier. Having already walked for a short while and tried to go off the beaten path, only to be met by an invisible barrier in line with the back garden, it’s safe to say it wants to go this way.

‘Great, another one.’

Every vintage house we walk by are either highly decorated and empty of life, or boarded up and still empty. Inside or outside, no one else is here, whether that be walking by or driving around.

“Any idea on what those things are, Sera? They look like carriages that have been sat on.”

“Heh, my world calls them cars, Lena. Yet… I don’t think the person who created this knows how a car works.”

There are a few problems peeping past the vintage exterior. For starters, the steering wheel is on the left rather than right… that’s more of a regional problem though.

The main problem is, I see no exhaust or even anything related to an engine, the entre bottom portion of the vehicle is hollow. Meaning… you literally have to push the outer shell along with your feet.

‘What was that expression again? Yabba-dabba-do?’

More television references aside, me and Lena finally come across something a little less ghost town like. A lonesome woman sits on a bench, in between a small corner shop and a park.

“Heyo! You two, over here! Come and see what I’ve got!”

Both of us cautiously approach the happily sitting woman who appears to know us, holding a small model of a toy plane and waving it around.

“Hey… you. You wouldn’t happen to know how many of us are around here today, would you?”

“Teehee, forgetting things again, sillyheads? Including you two, there are six of us here! Do you want me to remind you on who’s whom?”

Nodding to the woman in response, I can’t help but think she really has a really childish personality. I know Lena can be playful, but this woman sounds like a child in grown-up’s body. It’s unsettling.

“Your neighbour grumpy-pants is probably at home being grumpy, Miss Alchy is working inside her bar-, I mean shop! The bossy man is on his daily stroll through the park.”

“Thanks… I guess.”

Leaving the childish woman to continue playing with her plane, me and Lena head into the shop to find Miss Alchy. At least with a name like that, me and her should have something in common.

“Let me guess, my sister has been spreading rumours about my problem again? I’ve said this before, I can quit anytime!”

As soon as we enter what I presume is more of a café rather than a bar or a shop, another colourless woman stands in our way, holding a bottle of wine in her hand. There does appear to be a lot of alcohol in here considering the cosy atmosphere the rest of the place lets off.

“Anyways… can I get you two anything?”

“Some juice, maybe?”

“Ideally a whiskey, but we’re here for something else. We need information.”

Instead of serving us, the woman crosses her arms and looks to me displeased. Deep down, I’ve got an iffy feeling that this woman knows more than she lets on.

Real alcoholics, whether they are functional or not, try a little harder than just shaking that problem in front of people while essentially working. This is either a call for help or a ploy.

“We’ve told you two before, no one gets your jokes inside this place, elf. What do you really want?”

“Fine then, I’ll have some of that wine if you don’t mind. You’re willing to help a fellow drinker in need, right?”

…

Instead of responding, she looks at me alarmed, like I’ve just spilled something more than a little bit of that wine she holds. You can’t fool me with that juice disguised as poison… this woman doesn’t have the look or smell of someone who heavily drinks.

‘Called it. Guess bluffing can be considered a way of increasing intelligence then.”

“Seeing that this is an act… we want out of this dungeon. How do we do that?”

…

Again, she pauses a moment from my hopeful attempt at breaking whatever façade this is she’s putting on. And thankfully, it works.

Just not in the way I was hoping when her face literally flickers like a dying lightbulb.

“You want out!? That’s crazy… crazy… crazy! Why would anyone want out? Boss wouldn’t be happy if we lose anymore, that’s i-i-insane! Hehe… haha!”

A small giggle turns into a witch like cackle, even causing Lena to jump up and stand between the both of us. I’m not sure why, I’m not sensing any hostility from this crazy woman.

“Please focus for a moment. Who is this Boss person?”

“Haha… Boss loves watching park, find Boss there. You’s are m-mad… haha! Happy, must be happy, all things happy and peaceful. Must go now… haha… drink is needed…”

The women continues to cackle as she heads into the backroom, only quieting when she heads lower into what I presume is a wine cellar. Maybe that wasn’t the correct play here.

“Terrible service aside… we heading into the park now?”

“Okay, Sera. I need to grab something real fast.”

‘Really Lena? Really?’

Before we head off to investigate any further, guess who’s filling a wicker basket full with snacks from behind the counter?

‘You know what they say… you’re not you when you’re hungry…’

__________

“Greetings and salutations, ladies. Fine day for a walk, might I add. How are you two on this lovely day?”

A calm and relaxing walk through the park after that iffy encounter, quickly to come across apparently the last person in this tiny world. I’m not kidding, the park seems to be the centre of this place with the main road we were previously on circling the area. Other than itself, it connects to nothing.

Past a fountain and a row of trees, a gentlemanly sort of fellow greets us. For obvious reasons, I’m trying to take this carefully if this person really is the boss of this place.

“Greetings-”

Lena however, doesn’t. When you’re a beast that can brute force your way through life, it’s not entirely unexpected she’d be impatient.

“Sorry Sera, we haven't the time for this. How the frick do we get out of here? We know you’re that Boss person, so let us out!”

The second Lena finishes, this guy’s face drops off a cliff from what was a nice smile beforehand. Now, he holds the same kind of frown I normally wield.

“Appreciate you two spoiling my mood for the day. Specify what you mean by getting out?”

“This dungeon where colour is non-existent. The both of us aren’t greedy, we’ll happily leave any loot if it gets us out of here.”

Unless there’s a casino filled with gold which I just know we can cheat our way through, the sooner we leave, the better. Me and Lena aren’t greedy and are willing to let things go… heh. I hated that DLC so much… I’ve really got to stop with the references.

“A dungeon? This place is our home, our life, our luxury. Calling it that doesn’t do it justice. If you don’t like the life you’ve been given… you could always kill yourselves and depart this life that way.”

This small yet throwaway remark is enough to make Lena lunge at him, forcing me to have to hold her back. That can’t be the way out, right? No freaking chance are we taking that risk.

“Be careful what you wish for, ladies, violence isn’t appreciated here. Bad things come to those not willing to embrace change.”

Tipping his hat, the man continues his walk into the park while me and Lena just stand still, confused and stumped. We’re really trapped in here, aren’t we?

“I want to tear that fudging guy apart, Sera! That arrogant top-hat dares to look down on us!?”

“Lena, deep breaths. Find a happy place.”

Still fuming, I try to comfort Lena but she’s having none of it. Her blood is clearly fuming and she wants out of this dungeon as fast as possible.

“I’m telling you, Sera, being calm isn’t the way we’re going to get out of here. You saw that look on his smug face, he needs punching!”

I can’t help but shrug at her in response. In a place this unsettlingly peaceful, is violence going to be the way we do this? There has to be a better way before we throw caution to the wind… why does that sound familiar? Forget it…

“Look, it’s already getting dark… even though we’ve only been in here a few hours. Heh, don’t make me use that way to calm you down.”

Still sensing she’s tense, my hands wander to her hips and I close the distance between us, even nuzzling my nose into her cheek. I know this dragon better than anyone else, affection is the best way to cool her fiery heart.

This of course works in calming Lena. Although… I’m not sure if embarrassment and a growing fluster counts as calming.

“D-Don’t you dare n-nibble on my ears again, S-Sera! There’s a time and a place for that.”

“Heh, we are technically alone right now and this park is kind of romantic. The point is taken though.”

In the end, I just settle for giving Lena peck on the cheek as we are still inside an extremely dangerous dungeon. This really wasn’t what either of us had in mind when entering this place.

‘Let’s just head on to our home. Who knows, maybe things will appear clearer tomorrow…’